jeremy-第12节
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of anger and dismay。
〃Come; now; things aren't so bad as all that。 You be a good boy; and
go and tell your father you're sorry。 。 。〃 or 〃Well; then; Master
Jeremy; there'll be another time; I dare say; you can go to the the…
ayter。 。 。〃
But she found no response。 If there was one thing that she hated; it
was sulks。 Here they were; sulks of the worstand so; like many
wiser than herself; she covered up with a word a situation that she
did not understand; and left it at that。
The evening came on; the curtains were drawn。 Tea arrived; still
Jeremy sat there; not speaking; not raising his eyes; a condemned
creature。 Mary and Helen and Hamlet had had a wretched day。 They all
sympathised with him。
The girls went to dress。 Seven o'clock struck。 They were taken
downstairs by Nurse; who had her evening out。 Rose; the housemaid;
would sit with Master Jeremy。
Doors closed; doors opened; voices echoed; carriage…wheels were
heard。
Jeremy and Hamlet were left to themselves。 。 。
III
The last door had closed; and the sudden sense that everyone had
gone and that he might behave now as he pleased; removed the armour
in which all day he had encased himself。
He raised his head; looked about the deserted nursery; and then;
with the sudden consciousness of that other lighted and busied place
where Whittington was pursuing his adventures; he burst into tears。
He sobbed; his head down upon his arms; and his body squeezed
together so that his knees were close to his nose and his hair in
his boots。 Hamlet restored him to himself。 Instead of assisting his
master's grief; as a sentimental dog would have done; by sighing or
sniffing or howling; he yawned; stretched himself; and rolled on the
carpet。 He did not believe in giving way to feelings; and he was
surprised; and perhaps disappointed; at Jeremy's lack of restraint。
Jeremy felt this; and in a little while sobs came very slowly; and
at last were only little shudders; rather pleasant and healthy。 He
looked about him; rubbed his red nose with a hideously dirty
handkerchief; and felt immensely sleepy。
No; he would not cry any more。 Rose would shortly appear; and he did
not intend to cry before housemaids。 Nevertheless; his desolation
was supreme。 He was a liar。 He had told lies before; but they had
not been discovered; and so they were scarcely lies。 。 。 Now; in
some strange way; the publication of his lie had shown him what
truly impossible things lies were。 He had witnessed this effect upon
the general public; he had not believed that he was so wicked。 He
did not even now feel really wicked; but he saw quite clearly that
there was one world for liars and one for truthful men。 He wanted;
terribly badly; someone to tell him that he was still in the right
world。 。 。
And then; on the other side; the thought that Mary and Helen were at
this very moment witnessing the coloured history of Dick
Whittinglon; the history that he had pursued ceaselessly during all
these days and nightsthat picture of them all in the lighted
theatreonce more nearly overcame him。 But he pulled himself
together。
He sniffed; left his dirty handkerchief; and went slowly and
sorrowfully to drag out his toy village from its corner and see
whether anything could be done with it。 。 。。 After all; he was going
to school in September。 His punishment could not be quite limitless。
Hamlet had just shown his approval of this manly conduct by
strolling up and sniffing at the Noah family; who were; as usual; on
their way to church; when the door suddenly opened; and in came
Uncle Samuel。
Jeremy had forgotten his uncle; and now blinked up at him from the
floor; where he was squatting; rather ashamed of his swollen eyes
and red nose。
Uncle Samuel; however; had no time for details; he was apparently in
a hurry。 He did not wear his blue painting…smock; but was in a
comparatively clean black suit; and on the back of his head was a
squashy brown hat。
〃Come on;〃 he said; 〃or we shall be too late。〃
Jeremy choked。 〃Too late?〃 he repeated。
〃You're coming; aren't youto the Pantomime? They sent me back for
you。〃
The room suddenly got on to its legs; like the food and the families
during Alice's feast in the 〃Looking Glass;〃 and swung round;
lurching from side to side; and causing the fire to run into the gas
and the gas to fly out of the window。
〃Idon'tunderstand;〃 Jeremy stammered。
〃Well; if you don't understand in half a shake;〃 said Uncle Samuel;
〃you won't see any of the show at all。 Go on。 Wash your face。 There
are streaks of dirt all down it as though you were a painted Indian;
stick on your cap and coat and boots and come along。〃
Exactly as one moves in sleep so Jeremy now moved。 He had once had a
wonderful dream; in which he had been at a meal that included every
thing that he had most lovedfish…cakes; sausages; ices; strawberry
jam; sponge… cake; chocolates; and scrambled eggsand he had been
able to eat; and eat; and had never been satisfied; and had never
felt sicka lovely dream。
He often thought of it。 And now in the same bewildering fashion he
found his boots and cap and coat and then; deliberately keeping from
him the thought of the Pantomime lest he should suddenly wake up; he
said:
〃I'm ready; Uncle。〃
Samuel Trefusia looked at him。
〃You're a strange kid;〃 he said; 〃you take everything so quietly
but; thank God; I don't understand children。〃
〃There's Hamlet;〃 said Jeremy; wondering whether perhaps the
dream would extend to his friend。 〃I suppose he can't come too。〃
〃No; he certainly can't;〃 said Uncle Samuel grimly。
〃And there's Rose。 She'll wonder where I've gone。〃
〃I've told her。 Don't you worry。 What a conscientious infant you
are。 Just like your father。 Anything else?〃
〃No;〃 said Jeremy breathlessly; and nearly murdered himself going
downstairs because he shut his eyes in order to continue the dream
so long as it was possible。 Then in the cold night air; grasping his
uncle's hand with a feverish hold; he stammered:
〃Is it really true? Are we goingreally?〃
〃Of course we're going。 Come onstep out or you'll miss the Giant。〃
〃Butbutoh!〃 he drew a deep breath。 〃Then they don't think me a
liar any more??
〃Theywho?〃
〃Father and Mother and everyone。〃
〃Don't you think about them。 You'd better enjoy yourself。〃
〃But you said you wouldn't go to the Pantomimenot for anything?〃
〃Well; I've changed my mind。 Don't talk so much。 You know I hate you
children chattering。 Always got something to say。〃
So Jeremy was silent。 They raced down Orange Street; Jeremy being
almost carried off his feet。 This was exactly like a dream。 This
rushing movement and the way that the lamp…posts ran up to you as
though they were going to knock you down; and the way that the stars
crackled and sputtered and trembled overhead。 But Uncle Samuel's
hand was flesh and blood; and the heel of Jeremy's right shoe hurt
him and he felt the tickle of his sailor…collar at the back of his
neck; just as he did when he was awake。
Then there they were at the Assembly Rooms door; Jeremy having
become so breathless that Uncle Samuel had to hold him up for a
moment or he'd have fallen。
〃Bit too fast for you; was it? Well; you shouldn't be so fat。 You
eat too much。 Now we're not going to sit with your father and
motherthere isn't room for you there。 So don't you go calling out
to them or anything。 We're sitting in the back and you'd better be
quiet or they'll turn you out。〃
〃I'll be quiet;〃 gasped Jeremy。
Uncle Samuel paused at a lighted hole in the wall and spoke to a
large lady in black silk who was drinking a cup of tea。 Jeremy
caught the jingle of money。 Then they moved forward; stumbling in
the dark up a number of stone steps; pushing at a heavy black
curtain; then suddenly bathed in a bewildering glow of light and
scent and colour。
Jeremy's first impression; as he fell into this new world; was of an
ugly; harsh; but funny voice crying out very loudly indeed: 〃Oh; my
great aunt! Oh; my great aunt! Oh; my great aunt!〃 A roar of
laughter rose about him; almost lifting him off his feet; and close
to his car a Glebeshire voice sobbed: 〃Eh; my dear。 Poor worm! Poor
worm!〃
He was aware then of a strong smell of oranges; of Uncle Samuel
pushing him forward; of stumbling over boots; knees; and large hands
that were clapping in his very nose; of falling into a seat and then
clinging to it as though it was his only hope in this strange
puzzling world。 The high funny voice rose again: 〃Oh; my great aunt!
Oh; my great aunt!〃 And again it was followed by the rough roar of
delighted laughter。
He was aware then that about him on every side gas was sizzling; and
then; as he recovered slowly his breath; his gaze was drawn to the
great blaze of light in the distance; against which figures were
dimly moving; and from the heart of which the strange voice came。 He
heard a woman's voice; then several voices together; then suddenly
the whole scene shifted into focus; his eyes were tied to the light;
the oranges and the gas and the smell of clothes and heated bodies
slipped back into distancehe was caught into the world where he
had longed to be。
He saw that it was