the heir of redclyffe-第30节
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you that have taught it to me。'
If ever face plainly told another that he was her first and best;
Laura's did so now。 Away went misgivings; and he looked at her in
happiness too great for speech; at least; he could not speak till he
had mastered his emotion; but his countenance was sufficient reply。
Even then; in the midst of this flood of ecstasy; came the thought;
'What have I done?'
He had gone further than he had ever intended。 It was a positive
avowal of love; and what would ensue? Cessation of intercourse with
her; endless vexations; the displeasure of her family; loss of
influence; contempt; and from Mr。 Edmonstone; for the pretensions of a
penniless soldier。 His joy was too great to be damped; but it was
rendered cautious。 'Laura; my own!' (what delight the words gave her;)
'you have made me very happy。 We know each other now; and trust each
other for ever。'
'0 yes; yes; nothing can alter what has grown up with us。'
'It is for ever!' repeated Philip。 'But; Laura; let us be content with
our own knowledge of what we are to each other。 Do not let us call in
others to see our happiness。'
Laura looked surprised; for she always considered any communication
about his private feelings too sacred to be repeated; and wondered he
should think the injunction necessary。 'I never can bear to talk about
the best kinds of happiness;' said she; 'but oh!' and she sprang up;
'here they come。'
Poor Mrs。 Edmonstone; as she walked back from her mushroom…field; she
little guessed that words had been spoken which would give the
colouring to her daughter's whole lifeshe little guessed that her
much…loved and esteemed nephew had betrayed her confidence! As she and
the girls came up; Philip advanced to meet them; that Laura might have
a few moments to recover; while with an effort he kept himself from
appearing absent in the conversation that ensued。 It was brief; for
having answered some questions with regard to the doings on the
important day; he said; that since he had met them he would not come on
to Hollywell; and bade them farewell; giving Laura a pressure of the
hand which renewed the glow on her face。
He walked back; trying to look through the dazzling haze of joy so as
to see his situation clearly。 It was impossible for him not to
perceive that there had been an absolute declaration of affection; and
that he had established a private understanding with his cousin。 It
was not; however; an engagement; nor did he at present desire to make
it so。 It was impossible for him as yet to marry; and he was content
to wait without a promise; since that could not add to his entire
reliance on Laura。 He could not bear to be rejected by her parents: he
knew his poverty would be the sole ground of objection; and he was not
asking her to share it。 He believed sincerely that a long; lingering
attachment to himself would be more for her good than a marriage with
one who would have been a high prize for worldly aims; and was
satisfied that by winning her heart he had taken the only sure means of
securing her from becoming attached to Guy; while secrecy was the only
way of preserving his intercourse with her on the same footing; and
exerting his influence over the family。
It was calmly reflected; for Philip's love was tranquil; though deep
and steady; and the rather sought to preserve Laura as she was than to
make her anything more; and this very calmness contributed to his self…
deception on this first occasion that he had ever actually swerved from
the path of right。
With an uncomfortable sensation; he met Guy riding home from his tutor;
entirely unsuspicious。 He stopped and talked of the preparations at
Broadstone; where he had been over the ground with Maurice de Courcy;
and had heard the band。
'What did you think of it? said Philip; absently。
'They _should_ keep better time! Really; Philip; there is one fellow
with a bugle that ought to be flogged every day of his life!' said Guy;
making a droll; excruciated face。
How a few words can change the whole current of ideas。 The band was
connected with Philip; therefore he could not bear to hear it found
fault with; and adduced some one's opinion that the man in question was
one of the best of their musicians。
Guy could not help shrugging his shoulders; as he laughed; and said;
'Then I shall be obliged to take to my heels if I meet the rest。 Good…
bye。'
'How conceited they have made that boy about his fine ear;' thought
Philip。 'I wonder he is not ashamed to parade his music; considering
whence it is derived。'
CHAPTER 9
Ah! county Guy; the hour is nigh;
The sun has left the lea;
The orange flower perfumes the bower;
The breeze is on the sea。
The lark; his lay; who thrilled all day;
Sits hushed; his partner nigh;
Breeze; bird; and flower; confess the hour;
But where is county Guy?SCOTT
How was it meantime with Laura? The others were laughing and talking
round her; but all seemed lost in the transcendent beam that had shone
out on her。 To be told by Philip that she was all to him that he had
always been to her! This one idea pervaded hertoo glorious; too
happy for utterance; almost for distinct thought。 The softening of his
voice; and the look with which he had regarded her; recurred again and
again; startling her with a sudden surprise of joy almost as at the
first moment。 Of the future Laura thought not。 Never had a promise of
love been made with less knowledge of what it amounted to: it seemed
merely an expression of sentiments that she had never been without; for
had she not always looked up to Philip more than any other living
creature; and gloried in being his favourite cousin? Ever since the
time when he explained to her the plates in the Encyclopaedia; and made
her read 'Joyce's Scientific Dialogues;' when Amy took fright at the
first page。 That this might lead further did not occur to her; she was
eighteen; she had no experience; not even in novels; she did not know
what she had done; and above all; she had so leant to surrender her
opinions to Philip; and to believe him always right; that she would
never have dreamt of questioning wherever he might choose to lead her。
Even the caution of secrecy did not alarm her; though she wondered that
he thought it required; safe as his confidence always was with her。
Mrs。 Edmonstone had been so much occupied by Charles's illness; as to
have been unable to attend to her daughters in their girlish days; and
in the governess's time the habit had been disused of flying at once to
her with every joy or grief。 Laura's thoughts were not easy of access;
and Philip had long been all in all to her。 She was too ignorant of
life to perceive that it was her duty to make this conversation known;
or; more truly; she did not awaken her mind to consider that anything
could be wrong that Philip desired。
On coming home; she ran up to her own room; and sitting by the open
window; gave herself up to that delicious dream of new…found joy。
There she still sat when Amy came in; opening the door softly; and
treading lightly and airily as she entered; bringing two or three roses
of different tints。
'Laura! not begun to dress?'
'Is it time?'
'Shall I answer you according to what Philip calls my note of time; and
tell you the pimpernels are closed; and the tigridias dropping their
leaves? It would be a proper answer for you; you look as if you were
in Fairy Land。'
'Is papa come home?'
'Long ago! and Guy too。 Why; where could you have been; not to have
heard Guy and Eveleen singing the Irish melodies?'
'In a trance;' said Laura; starting up; and laughing; with a slight
degree of constraint; which caused Amy; who was helping her to dress;
to exclaim; 'Has anything happened; Laura?'
'What should have happened?'
'I can't guess; unless the fairies in the great ring on Ashendown came
to visit you when we were gone。 But seriously; dear Laura; are you
sure you are not tired? Is nothing the matter?'
'Nothing at all; thank you。 I was only thinking over the talk I had
with Philip。'
'Oh!'
Amy never thought of entering into Philip's talks with Laura; and was
perfectly satisfied。
By this time Laura was herself again; come back to common life; and
resolved to watch over her intercourse with Guy; since; though she was
convinced that all was safe at present; she had Philip's word for it
that there might be danger in continuing the pleasant freedom of their
behaviour。
Nothing could be more reassuring than Guy's demeanour。 His head seemed
entirely full of the Thursday; and of a plan of his own for enabling
Charles to go to the review。 It had darted into his head while he was
going over the