the heir of redclyffe-第29节
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the only one who will care about the ball。'
Philip was obliged to conceal his vexation; and to answer the many
eager questions about the arrangements。 He stayed to dinner; and as
the others went in…doors to dress; he lingered near Charlotte;
assuming; with some difficulty; an air of indifference; and said
'Well; Charlotte; did you tease Guy into showing you those verses?'
'Oh yes;' said Charlotte; with what the French call 〃un air capable〃。'
'Well; what were they?'
'That I mustn't tell。 They were very pretty; but I've promised。'
'Promised what?'
'Never to say anything about them。 He made it a condition with me; and
I assure you; I am to be trusted。'
'Right;' said Philip; 'I'll ask no more。'
'It would be of no use;' said Charlotte; shaking her head; as if she
wished he would prove her further。
Philip was in hopes of being able to speak to Laura after dinner; but
his uncle wanted him to come and look over the plans of an estate
adjoining Redclyffe; which there was some idea of purchasing。 Such an
employment would in general have been congenial; but on this occasion;
it was only by a strong force that he could chain his attention; for
Guy was pacing the terrace with Laura and Amabel; and as they passed
and repassed the window; he now and then caught sounds of repeating
poetry。
In this Guy excelled。 He did not read aloud well; he was too rapid;
and eyes and thoughts were apt to travel still faster than the lips;
thus producing a confusion; but no one could recite better when a
passage had taken strong hold of his imagination; and he gave it the
full effect of the modulations of his fine voice; conveying in its
inflections the impressions which stirred him profoundly。 He was just
now enchanted with his first reading of 'Thalaba;' where he found all
manner of deep meanings; to which the sisters listened with wonder and
delight。 He repeated; in a low; awful; thrilling tone; that made Amy
shudder; the lines in the seventh book; ending with
〃Who comes from the bridal chamber!
It is Azrael; angel of death。〃'
'You have not been so taken up with any book since Sintram。' said
Laura。
'It is like Sintram;' he replied。
'Like it?'
'So it seems to me。 A strife with the powers of darkness; the victory;
forgiveness; resignation; death。
〃Thou know'st the secret wishes of my heart;
Do with me as thou wilt; thy will is best。〃'
'I wish you would not speak as if you were Thalaba yourself;' said Amy;
'you bring the whole Domdaniel round us。'
'I am afraid he is going to believe himself Thalaba as well as
Sintram;' said Laura。 'But you know Southey did not see all this
himself; and did not understand it when it was pointed out。'
'Don't tell us that;' said Amy。
'Nay; I think there is something striking in it;' said Guy then; with a
sudden transition; 'but is not this ball famous?'
And their talk was of balls and reviews till nine o'clock; when they
were summoned to tea。
On the whole; Philip returned to Broadstone by no means comforted。
Never had he known so much difficulty in attending with patience to his
duties as in the course of the next fortnight。 They became a greater
durance; as he at length looked his feelings full in the face; and
became aware of their true nature。
He perceived that the loss of Laura would darken his whole existence;
yet he thought that; were he only secure of her happiness; he could
have resigned her in silence。 Guy was; however; one of the last men in
the world whom he could bear to see in possession of her; and probably
she was allowing herself to be entangled; if not in heart; at least in
manner。 If so; she should not be unwarned。 He had been her guide from
childhood; and he would not fail her now。
Three days before the review; he succeeded in finding time for a walk
to Hollywell; not fully decided on the part he should act; though
resolved on making some remonstrance。 He was crossing a stile; about a
mile and a half from Hollywell; when he saw a lady sitting on the stump
of a tree; sketching; and found that fate had been so propitious as to
send Laura thither alone。 The rest had gone to gather mushrooms on a
down; and had left her sketching the view of the spires of Broadstone;
in the cleft between the high green hills。 She was very glad to see
him; and held up her purple and olive washes to be criticised; but he
did not pay much attention to them。 He was almost confused at the
sudden manner in which the opportunity for speaking had presented
itself。
'It is a long time since I have seen you;' said he; at last。
'An unheard…of time。'
'Still longer since we have had any conversation。'
'I was just thinking so。 Not since that hot hay…making; when Guy came
home。 Indeed; we have had so much amusement lately that I have hardly
had time for thought。 Guy says we are all growing dissipated。'
'Ah! your German; and dancing; and music; do not agree with thought。'
'Poor music!' said Laura; smiling。 'But I am ready for a lecture; I
have been feeling more like a butterfly than I like。'
'I know you think me unjust about music; and I freely confess that I
cannot estimate the pleasure it affords; but I doubt whether it is a
safe pleasure。 It forms common ground for persons who would otherwise
have little in common; and leads to intimacies which occasion results
never looked for。'
'Yes;' said Laura; receiving it as a general maxim。
'Laura; you complain of feeling like a butterfly。 Is not that a sign
that you were made for better things?'
'But what can I do? I try to read early and at night; but I can't
prevent the fun and gaiety; and; indeed; I don't think I would。 It is
innocent; and we never had such a pleasant summer。 Charlie is soso
much more equable; and mamma is more easy about him; and I can't help
thinking it does them all good; though I do feel idle。'
'It is innocent; it is right for a little while;' said Philip; 'but
your dissatisfaction proves that you are superior to such things。
Laura; what I fear is; that this summer holiday may entangle you; and
so fix your fate as to render your life no holiday。 0 Laura take care;
know what you are doing!'
'What am I doing?' asked Laura; with an alarmed look of ingenuous
surprise。
Never had it been so hard to maintain his composure as now; when her
simplicity forced him to come to plainer terms。 'I must speak;' he
continued; 'because no one else will。 Have you reflected whither this
may tend? This music; this versifying; this admitting a stranger so
unreservedly into your pursuits?'
She understood now; and hung her head。 He would have given worlds to
judge of the face hidden by her bonnet; but as she did not reply; he
spoke on; his agitation becoming so strong; that the struggle was
perceptible in the forced calmness of his tone。 'I would not say a
word if he were worthy; but LauraLaura; I have seen Locksley Hall
acted once; do not let me see it again in a way whichwhich would give
me infinitely more pain。'
The faltering of his voice; so resolutely subdued; touched; her
extremely; and a thrill of exquisite pleasure glanced through her; on
hearing confirmed what she had long felt; that she had taken Margaret's
placenay; as she now learnt; that she was even more precious to him。
She only thought of reassuring him。
'No; you need never fear _that_。 He has no such thought; I am sure。'
She blushed deeply; but looked in his face。 'He treats us both alike;
besides; he is so young。'
'The mischief is not done;' said Philip; trying to resume his usual
tone; 'I only meant to speak in time。 You might let your manner go too
far; you might even allow your affections to be involved without
knowing it; if you were not on your guard。'
'Never!' said Laura。 'Oh; no; I could never dream of that with Guy。 I
like Guy very much; I think better of him than you do; but oh no; he
could never be my first and best; I could never care for him in _that_
way。 How could you think so; Philip?'
'Laura; I cannot but look on you with what may seem over…solicitude。
Since I lost Fanny; and worse than lost Margaret; you have been my
home; my first; my most precious interest。 0 Laura!' and he did not
even attempt to conceal the trembling and tenderness of his voice;
'could I bear to lose you; to see you thrown away or changedyou;
dearest; best of all?'
Laura did not turn away her head this time; but raising her beautiful
face; glowing with such a look as had never beamed there before; while
tears rose to her eyes; she said; 'Don't speak of my changing towards
you。 I never could; for if there is anything to care for in me; it is
you that have taught it to me。'
If