the essays of montaigne, v1-第8节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


very　name　in　abhorrence。　　Dear　daughter；　farewell。〃

All　in　the　room　were　weeping　and　lamenting；　but　he　held　without
interruption　the　thread　of　his　discourse；　which　was　pretty　long。　　But
when　he　had　done；　he　directed　us　all　to　leave　the　room；　except　the　women
attendants；　whom　he　styled　his　garrison。　　But　first；　calling　to　him　my
brother；　M。　de　Beauregard；　he　said　to　him：　〃　M。　de　Beauregard；　you　have
my　best　thanks　for　all　the　care　you　have　taken　of　me。　　I　have　now　a　thing
which　I　am　very　anxious　indeed　to　mention　to　you；　and　with　your
permission　I　will　do　so。〃　　As　my　brother　gave　him　encouragement　to
proceed；　he　added：　〃I　assure　you　that　I　never　knew　any　man　who　engaged　in
the　reformation　of　our　Church　with　greater　sincerity；　earnestness；　and
single…heartedness　than　yourself。　　I　consider　that　you　were　led　to　it　by
observing　the　vicious　character　of　our　prelates；　which　no　doubt　much
requires　setting　in　order；　and　by　imperfections　which　time　has　brought
into　our　Church。　　It　is　not　my　desire　at　present　　discourage　you　from
this　course；　for　I　would　have　no　one　act　in　opposition　to　his　conscience；
but　I　wish；　having　regard　to　the　good　repute　acquired　by　your　family　from
its　enduring　concorda　family　than　which　none　can　be　dearer　to　me；　a
family；　thank　God！　　no　member　of　which　has　ever　been　guilty　of　dishonour…
…in　regard；　further；　to　the　will　of　your　good　father　to　whom　you　owe　so
much；　and　of　your；　uncle；　I　wish　you　to　avoid　extreme　means；　avoid
harshness　and　violence：　be　reconciled　with　your　relatives；　do　not　act
apart；　but　unite。　　You　perceive　what　disasters　our　quarrels　have　brought
upon　this　kingdom；　and　I　anticipate　still　worse　mischiefs；　and　in　your
goodness　and　wisdom；　beware　of　involving　your　family　in　such　broils；　let
it　continue　to　enjoy　its　former　reputation　and　happiness。　　M。　de
Beauregard；　take　what　I　say　in　good　part；　and　as　a　proof　of　the
friendship　I　feel　for　you。　　I　postponed　till　now　any　communication　with
you　on　the　subject；　and　perhaps　the　condition　in　which　you　see　me　address
you；　may　cause　my　advice　and　opinion　to　carry　greater　authority。〃　　My
brother　expressed　his　thanks　to　him　cordially。

On　the　Monday　morning　he　had　become　so　ill　that　he　quite　despaired　of
himself；　and　he　said　to　me　very　pitifully：　〃Brother；　do　not　you　feel　pain
for　all　the　pain　I　am　suffering？　　Do　you　not　perceive　now　that　the　help
you　give　me　has　no　other　effect　than　that　of　lengthening　my　suffering？〃

Shortly　afterwards　he　fainted；　and　we　all　thought　him　gone；　but　by　the
application　of　vinegar　and　wine　he　rallied。　　But　he　soon　sank；　and　when
he　heard　us　in　lamentation；　he　murmured；　〃O　God！　　who　is　it　that　teases
me　so？　　Why　did　you　break　the　agreeable　repose　I　was　enjoying？　　I　beg　of
you　to　leave　me。〃　　And　then；　when　he　caught　the　sound　of　my　voice；　he
continued：　〃And　art　thou；　my　brother；　likewise　unwilling　to　see　me　at
peace？　　O；　how　thou　robbest　me　of　my　repose！〃　　After　a　while；　he　seemed
to　gain　more　strength；　and　called　for　wine；　which　he　relished；　and
declared　it　to　be　the　finest　drink　possible。　　I；　in　order　to　change　the
current　of　his　thoughts；　put　in；　〃Surely　not；　water　is　the　best。〃　　〃Ah；
yes；〃　he　returned；　〃　doubtless　so；　（Greek）…。〃　　He　had　now　become；
icy…cold　at　his　extremities；　even　to　his　face；　a　deathly　perspiration　was
upon　him；　and　his　pulse　was　scarcely　perceptible。

This　morning　he　confessed；　but　the　priest　had　omitted　to　bring　with　him
the　necessary　apparatus　for　celebrating　Mass。　　On　the　Tuesday；　however；
M。　de　la　Boetie　summoned　him　to　aid　him；　as　he　said；　in　discharging　the
last　office　of　a　Christian。　　　After　the　conclusion　of　Mass；　he　took　the
sacrament；　when　the　priest　was　about　to　depart；　he　said　to　him：
〃Spiritual　father；　I　implore　you　humbly；　as　well　as　those　over　whom　you
are　set；　to　pray　to　the　Almighty　on　my　behalf；　that；　if　it　be　decreed　in
heaven　that　I　am　now　to　end　my　life；　He　will　take　compassion　on　my　soul；
and　pardon　me　my　sins；　which　are　manifold；　it　not　being　possible　for　so
weak　and　poor　a　creature　as　I　to　obey　completely　the　will　of　such　a
Master；　or；　if　He　think　fit　to　keep　me　longer　here；　that　it　may　please
Him　to　release　my　present　extreme　anguish；　and　to　direct　my　footsteps　in
the　right　path；　that　I　may　become　a　better　man　than　I　have　been。　　He
paused　to　recover　breath　a　little；　priest　was　about　to　go　away；　he　called
him　back　and　proceeded：　〃I　desire　to　say；　besides；　in　your　hearing　this：
I　declare　that　I　was　christened　and　I　have　lived；　and　that　so　I　wish　to
die；　in　the　faith　which　Moses　preached　in　Egypt；　which　afterwards　the
Patriarchs　accepted　and　professed　in　Judaea；　and　which；　in　the　course　of
time；　has　been　transmitted　to　France　and　to　us。〃　　He　seemed　desirous　of
adding　something　more；　but　he　ended　with　a　request　to　his　uncle　and　me　to
send　up　prayers　for　him；　〃for　those　are；〃　he　said；　〃the　best　duties　that
Christians　can　fulfil　one　for　another。〃　　In　the　course　of　talking；　his
shoulder　was　uncovered；　and　although　a　man…servant　stood　near　him；　he
asked　his　uncle　to　re…adjust　the　clothes。　　Then；　turning　his　eyes　towards
me；　he　said；　〃Ingenui　est；　cui　multum　debeas；　ei　plurimum　velle　debere。〃

M。　de　Belot　called　in　the　afternoon　to　see　him；　and　M。　de　la　Boetie；
taking　his　hand；　said　to　him：　〃I　was　on　the　point　of　discharging　my　debt；
but　my　kind　creditor　has　given　me　a　little　further　time。〃　　A　little　while
after；　appearing　to　wake　out　of　a　sort　of　reverie；　he　uttered　words　which
he　had　employed　once　or　twice　before　in　the　course　of　his　sickness：
〃Ah　well；　ah　well；　whenever　the　hour　comes；　I　await　it　with　pleasure　and
fortitude。〃　　And　then；　as　they　were　holding　his　mouth　open　by　force　to
give　him　a　draught；　he　observed　to　M。　de　Belot：　〃An　vivere　tanti　est？〃

As　the　evening　approached；　he　began　perceptibly　to　sink；　and　while　I
supped；　he　sent　for　me　to　come；　being　no　more　than　the　shadow　of　a　man；
or；　as　he　put　it　himself；　'non　homo；　sed　species　hominis'；　and　he　said　to
me　with　the　utmost　difficulty：　〃My　brother；　my　friend；　please　God　I　may
realise　the　imaginations　I　have　just　enjoyed。〃　　Afterwards；　having　waited
for　some　time　while　he　remained　silent；　and　by　painful　efforts　was
drawing　long　sighs　（for　his　tongue　at　this　point　began　to　refuse　its
functions）；　I　said；　〃What　are　they？〃　　〃Grand；　grand！〃　　he　replied。　　〃I
have　never　yet　failed；〃　returned　I；　〃to　have　the　honour　of　hearing　your
conceptions　and　imaginations　communicated　to　me；　will　you　not　now　still
let　me　enjoy　them？〃　　〃I　would　indeed；〃　he　answered；　〃but；　my　brother；
I　am　not　able　to　do　so；　they　are　admirable；　infinite；　and　unspeakable。〃
We　stopped　short　there；　for　he　could　not　go　on。　　A　little　before；　indeed；
he　had　shown　a　desire　to　speak　to　his　wife；　and　had　told　her；　with　as　gay
a　countenance　as　he　could　contrive　to　assume；　that　he　had　a　story　to　tell
her。　　And　it　seemed　as　if　he　was　making　an　attempt　to　gain　utterance；
but；　his　strength　failing　him；　he　begged　a　little　wine　to　resuscitate　it。
It　was　of　no　avail；　for　he　fainted　away　suddenly；　and　was　for　some　time
insensible。　　Having　become　so　near　a　neighbour　to　death；　and　hearing　the
sobs　of　Mademoiselle　de　la　Boetie；　he　called　her；　and　said　to　her　thus：
〃My　own　likeness；　you　grieve　yourself　beforehand；　will　you　not　have　pity
on　me？　　take　courage。　　Assuredly；　it　costs　me　more　than　half　the　pain　I
endure；　to　see　you　suffer；　and　reasonably　so；　because　the　evils　which　we
ourselves　feel　we　do　not　actually　ourselves　suffer；　but　it　certain
sentient　faculties　which　God　plants　in　us；　that　feel　them：　whereas　what
we　feel　on　account　of　others；　we　feel　by　consequence　of　a　certain
reasoning　process　which　goes　on　within　our　minds。　　But　I　am　going　away〃
That　he　said　because　his　strength　was　failing　him；　and　fearing　that　he
had　frightened　his　wife；　he　resumed；　observing：　〃I　am　going　to　sleep。
Good　night；　my　wife；　go　thy　way。〃　　This　was　the　last　farewell　he　took　of
her。

After　she　had　left；　〃My　brother；〃　said　he　to　me；　〃keep　near　me；　if　you
please；〃　and　then　feeling　the　advance　of　death　more　pressing　and　more
acute；　or　else　the　effect　of　some　warm　draught　which　they　had　made　him
swallow；　his　voice　grew　stronger　and　clearer；　and　he　turned　quite　with
violence　in　his　bed；　so　that　all　began　again　to　entertain　the　hope　which
we　had　lost　only　upon　witnessing　his　extreme　prostration。

At　this　stage　he　proceeded；　among　other　things；　to　pray　me　again　and
again；　in　a　most　affectionate　manner；　to　give　him　a　place；　so　that　I　was
apprehensive　that　his　reason　might　be　impaired；　particularly　when；　on　my
pointing　out　to　him　that　he　was　doing　himself　harm；　and　that　these　were
not　of　the　words　of　a　rational　man；　he　did　not　yield　at　first；　but
redoubled　his　outcry；　saying；　〃My　brother；　my　brother！　　dost　thou　then
refuse　me　a　place？〃　　insomuch　that　he　constrained　me　to　demonstrate　to
him　that；　as　he　breathed　and　spoke；　and　had　his　physical　being；　therefore
he　had　his　place。　　〃Yes；　yes；〃　he　responded；　〃I　have；　but　it　is　not　that
which　I　need；　and；　besides；　when　all　is　said；　I　have　no　longer　any
existence。〃　　〃God；〃　I　replied；　〃will　grant　you　a　better　one　soon。〃
〃Would　it　were　now；　my　brother；〃　was　his　answer。　　〃It　is　now　three　days
since　I　have　been　eager　to　take　my　departure。〃

Being　in