dream days(做梦的日子)-第9节
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off in search of a pencil。
The tempest within…doors had kept my attention off the condition of
things without。 But now a glance through the window told me that the
rain had entirely ceased； and that everything was bathed instead in a
radiant glow of sunlight； more golden than any gamboge of mine could
possibly depict。 Leaving Selina and Harold to settle their feud by a
mutual disinheritance； I slipped from the room and escaped into the open
air； eager to pick up the loose end of my new friendship just where I had
dropped it that morning。 In the glorious reaction of the sunshine after the
downpour； with its moist warm smells； bespanglement of greenery； and
inspiriting touch of rain…washed air； the parks and palaces of the
imagination glowed with a livelier iris； and their blurred beauties shone
out again with fresh blush and palpitation。 As I sped along to the tryst；
again I accompanied my new comrade along the corridors of my pet
palace into which I had so hastily introduced her； and on reflection I began
to see that it wouldn't work properly。 I had made a mistake； and those
were not the surroundings in which she was most fitted to shine。
However； it really did not matter much； I had other palaces to place at her
disposalplenty of 'em； and on a further acquaintance with and knowledge
of her tastes； no doubt I could find something to suit her。
There was a real Arabian one； for instance； which I visited but rarely
only just when I was in the fine Oriental mood for it； a wonder of silk
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hangings； fountains of rosewater； pavilions； and minarets。 Hundreds of
silent； well…trained slaves thronged the stairs and alleys of this
establishment； ready to fetch and carry for her all day； if she wished it； and
my brave soldiers would be spared the indignity。 Also there were
processions through the bazaar at odd momentsprocessions with camels；
elephants； and palanquins。 Yes； she was more suited for the East； this
imperious young person； and I determined that thither she should be
personally conducted as soon as ever might be。
I reached the fence and climbed up two bars of it； and leaning over I
looked this way and that for my twin…souled partner of the morning。 It
was not long before I caught sight of her； only a short distance away。 Her
back was towards me andwell； one can never foresee exactly how one
will find thingsshe was talking to a Boy。
Of course there are boys and boys； and Lord knows I was never
narrow。 But this was the parson's son from an adjoining village； a red…
headed boy and as common a little beast as ever stepped。 He cultivated
ferretshis only good point； and it was evidently through the medium of
this art that he was basely supplanting me； for her head was bent
absorbedly over something he carried in his hands。 With some
trepidation I called out； 〃Hi！〃 But answer there was none。 Then again I
called； 〃Hi！〃 but this time with a sickening sense of failure and of doom。
She replied only by a complex gesture； decisive in import if not easily
described。 A petulant toss of the head； a jerk of the left shoulder； and a
backward kick of the left foot； all delivered at oncethat was all； and that
was enough。 The red…headed boy never even condescended to glance my
way。 Why； indeed； should he？ I dropped from the fence without
another effort； and took my way homewards along the weary road。
Little inclination was left to me； at first； for any solitary visit to my
accustomed palace； the pleasures of which I had so recently tasted in
company； and yet after a minute or two I found myself； from habit；
sneaking off there much as usual。 Presently I became aware of a certain
solace and consolation in my newly…recovered independence of action。
Quit of all female whims and fanciful restrictions； I rowed； sailed； or
punted； just as I pleased； in the Chocolate…room I cracked and nibbled the
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hard sticks； with a certain contempt for those who preferred the soft；
veneered article； and I mixed and quaffed countless fizzy drinks without
dread of any prohibitionist。 Finally； I swaggered into the park； paraded
all my soldiers on the terrace； and； bidding them take the time from me；
gave the order to fire off all the guns。
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THE MAGIC RING
Grown…up people really ought to be more careful。 Among
themselves it may seem but a small thing to give their word and take back
their word。 For them there are so many compensations。 Life lies at
their feet； a party…coloured india…rubber ball； they may kick it this way or
kick it that； it turns up blue； yellow； or green； but always coloured and
glistening。 Thus one sees it happen almost every day； and； with a jest and
a laugh； the thing is over； and the disappointed one turns to fresh pleasure；
lying ready to his hand。 But with those who are below them； whose little
globe is swayed by them； who rush to build star…pointing alhambras on
their most casual word； they really ought to be more careful。
In this case of the circus； for instance； it was not as if we had led up to
the subject。 It was they who began it entirely prompted thereto by the
local newspaper。 〃What； a circus！〃 said they； in their irritating； casual
way： 〃that would be nice to take the children to。 Wednesday would be a
good day。 Suppose we go on Wednesday。 Oh； and pleats are being
worn again； with rows of deep braid；〃 etc。
What the others thought I know not； what they said； if they said
anything； I did not comprehend。 For me the house was bursting； walls
seemed to cramp and to stifle； the roof was jumping and lifting。 Escape
was the imperative thingto escape into the open air； to shake off bricks
and mortar； and to wander in the unfrequented places of the earth； the
more properly to take in the passion and the promise of the giddy
situation。
Nature seemed prim and staid that day and the globe gave no hint that
it was flying round a circus ring of its own。 Could they really be true； I
wondered； all those bewildering things I had heard tell of circuses？ Did
long…tailed ponies really walk on their hind…legs and fire off pistols？ Was
it humanly possible for clowns to perform one…half of the bewitching
drolleries recorded in history？ And how； oh； how dare I venture to
believe that； from off the backs of creamy Arab steeds； ladies of more than
earthly beauty discharged themselves through paper hoops？ No； it was
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not altogether possible； there must have been some exaggeration。 Still； I
would be content with very little； I would take a low percentagea very
small proportion of the circus myth would more than satisfy me。 But
again； even supposing that history were； once in a way； no liar； could it be
that I myself was really fated to look upon this thing in the flesh and to
live through it； to survive the rapture？ No； it was altogether too much。
Something was bound to happen； one of us would develop measles； the
world would blow up with a loud explosion。 I must not dare； I must not
presume； to entertain the smallest hope。 I must endeavour sternly to
think of something else。
