dream days(做梦的日子)-第5节
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DREAM DAYS
piece a score of times。 You are magnanimous； in finethat goes without
saying； you have a coal…black horse； and a sabre…cut； and you can afford to
be very magnanimous。 But all the same you give them a good talking…to。
This pleasant conceit simply ravished my soul for some twenty
minutes； and then the old sense of injury began to well up afresh； and to
call for new plasters and soothing syrups。 This time I took refuge in
happy thoughts of the sea。 The sea was my real sphere； after all。 On
the sea； in especial； you could combine distinction with lawlessness；
whereas the army seemed to be always weighted by a certain plodding
submission to discipline。 To be sure； by all accounts； the life was at first
a rough one。 But just then I wanted to suffer keenly； I wanted to be a
poor devil of a cabin boy； kicked； beaten； and sworn atfor a time。
Perhaps some hint； some inkling of my sufferings might reach their ears。
In due course the sloop or felucca would turn upit always didthe
rakish…looking craft； black of hull； low in the water； and bristling with
guns； the jolly Roger flapping overhead； and myself for sole commander。
By and by； as usually happened； an East Indiaman would come sailing
along full of relationsnot a necessary relation would be missing。 And
the crew should walk the plank； and the captain should dance from his
own yardarm； and then I would take the passengers in handthat
miserable group of well…known figures cowering on the quarter… deck！
and thenand then the same old performance： the air thick with
magnanimity。 In all the repertory of heroes； none is more truly
magnanimous than your pirate chief。
When at last I brought myself back from the future to the actual
present； I found that these delectable visions had helped me over a longer
stretch of road than I had imagined； and I looked around and took my
bearings。 To the right of me was a long low building of grey stone； new；
and yet not smugly so； new； and yet possessing distinction； marked with a
character that did not depend on lichen or on crumbling semi…effacement
of moulding and mullion。 Strangers might have been puzzled to classify
it； to me； an explorer from earliest years； the place was familiar enough。
Most folk called it 〃The Settlement〃； others； with quite sufficient
conciseness for our neighbourhood； spoke of 〃them there fellows up by
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DREAM DAYS
Halliday's〃； others again； with a hint of derision； named them the
〃monks。〃 This last title I supposed to be intended for satire； and knew to
be fatuously wrong。 I was thoroughly acquainted with monksin books…
…and well knew the cut of their long frocks； their shaven polls； and their
fascinating big dogs； with brandy…bottles round their necks； incessantly
hauling happy travellers out of the snow。 The only dog at the settlement
was an Irish terrier； and the good fellows who owned him； and were
owned by him； in common； wore clothes of the most nondescript order；
and mostly cultivated side…whiskers。 I had wandered up there one day；
searching （as usual） for something I never found； and had been taken in by
them and treated as friend and comrade。 They had made me free of their
ideal little rooms； full of books and pictures； and clean of the antimacassar
taint； they had shown me their chapel； high； hushed； and faintly scented；
beautiful with a strange new beauty born both of what it had and what it
had notthat too familiar dowdiness of common places of worship。 They
had also fed me in their dining…hall； where a long table stood on trestles
plain to view； and all the woodwork was natural； unpainted； healthily
scrubbed； and redolent of the forest it came from。 I brought away from
that visit； and kept by me for many days； a sense of cleanness； of the
freshness that pricks the sensesthe freshness of cool spring water； and
the large swept spaces of the rooms； the red tiles； and the oaken settles；
suggested a comfort that had no connexion with padded upholstery。
On this particular morning I was in much too unsociable a mind for
paying friendly calls。 Still； something in the aspect of the place
harmonised with my humour； and I worked my way round to the back；
where the ground； after affording level enough for a kitchen…garden； broke
steeply away。 Both the word Gothic and the thing itself were still
unknown to me； yet doubtless the architecture of the place； consistent
throughout； accounted for its sense of comradeship in my hour of
disheartenment。 As I mused there； with the low； grey； purposeful…looking
building before me； and thought of my pleasant friends within； and what
good times they always seemed to be having； and how they larked with the
Irish terrier； whose footing was one of a perfect equality； I thought of a
certain look in their faces； as if they had a common purpose and a business；
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DREAM DAYS
and were acting under orders thoroughly recognised and understood。 I
remembered； too； something that Martha had told me； about these same
fellows doing 〃a power o' good；〃 and other hints I had collected vaguely；
of renouncements； rules； self…denials； and the like。 Thereupon； out of the
depths of my morbid soul swam up a new and fascinating idea； and at
once the career of arms seemed over…acted and stale； and piracy； as a
profession； flat and unprofitable。 This； then； or something like it； should
be my vocation and my revenge。 A severer line of business； perhaps；
such as I had read of； something that included black bread and a hair…shirt。
There should be vows； tooirrevocable； blood curdling vows； and an iron
grating。 This iron grating was the most necessary feature of all； for I
intended that on the other side of it my relations should range themselves
I mentally ran over the catalogue； and saw that the whole gang was present；
all in their proper places a sad…eyed row； combined in tristful appeal。
〃We see our error now；〃 they would say； 〃we were always dull dogs； slow
to catch especially in those akin to usthe finer qualities of soul！ We
misunderstood you； misappreciated you； and we own up to it。 And now
〃 〃Alas； my dear friends；〃 I would strike in here； waving towards them
an ascetic handone of the emaciated sort； that lets the light shine through
at the finger…tips〃Alas； you come too late！ This conduct is fitting and
meritorious on your part； and indeed I always expected it of you； sooner or
later； but the die is cast； and you may go home again and bewail at your
leisure this too tardy repentance of yours。 For me； I am vowed and
dedicated； and my relations henceforth are austerity and holy works。
Once a month； should you wish it； it shall be your privilege to come and
gaze at me through this very solid grating； but〃 WHACK！
A well…aimed clod of garden soil； whizzing just past my ear； starred on
a tree…trunk behind； spattering me with dirt。 The present came back to
me in a flash； and I nimbly took cover behind the trees； realising that the
enemy was up and abroad； with ambuscades； alarms； and thrilling sallies。
It was the gardener's boy； I knew well enough； a red proletariat； who hated
me just because I was a gentleman。 Hastily picking up a nice sticky clod
in one hand； with the other I delicately projected my hat beyond the shelter
of the tree…trunk。 I had not fought with
