dream days(做梦的日子)-第29节
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When the military spirit was abroad； who so ready to be a squadron of
cavalry； a horde of Cossacks； or artillery pounding into position？ He had
even served with honour as a gun…boat； during a period when naval
strategy was the only theme； and no false equine pride ever hindered him
from taking the part of a roaring locomotive； earth…shaking； clangorous；
annihilating time and space。 Really it was no longer clear how life； with
its manifold emergencies； was to be carried on at all without a fellow like
the spotty horse； ready to step in at critical moments and take up just the
part required of him。
In moments of mental depression； nothing is quite so consoling as the
honest smell of a painted animal； and mechanically I turned towards the
shelf that had been so long the Ararat of our weather…beaten Ark。 The
shelf was empty； the Ark had cast off moorings and sailed away to Poplar；
and had taken with it its haunting smell； as well as that pleasant sense of
disorder that the best conducted Ark is always able to impart。 The sliding
roof had rarely been known to close entirely。 There was always a pair of
giraffe…legs sticking out； or an elephant… trunk； taking from the stiffness of
its outline； and reminding us that our motley crowd of friends inside were
uncomfortably cramped for room and only too ready to leap in a cascade
on the floor and browse and gallop； flutter and bellow and neigh； and be
their natural selves again。 I think that none of us ever really thought very
much of Ham and Shem and Japhet。 They were only there because they
were in the story； but nobody really wanted them。 The Ark was built for
the animals； of course animals with tails； and trunks； and horns； and at
least three legs apiece； though some unfortunates had been unable to retain
even that number。 And in the animals were of course included the birds
the dove； for instance； grey with black wings； and the red…crested
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woodpeckeror was it a hoo…poe？and the insects； for there was a dear
beetle； about the same size as the dove； that held its own with any of the
mammalia。
Of the doll…department Charlotte had naturally been sole chief for a
long time； if the staff were not in their places to…day； it was not I who had
any official right to take notice。 And yet one may have been member of a
Club for many a year without ever exactly understanding the use and
object of the other members； until one enters； some Christmas day or other
holiday； and； surveying the deserted armchairs； the untenanted sofas； the
barren hat…pegs； realizes； with depression； that those other fellows had
their allotted functions； after all。 Where was old Jerry？ Where were
Eugenie； Rosa； Sophy； Esmeralda？ We had long drifted apart； it was true；
we spoke but rarely； perhaps； absorbed in new ambitions； new
achievements； I had even come to look down on these conservative；
unprogressive members who were so clearly content to remain simply
what they were。 And now that their corners were unfilled； their chairs
unoccupiedwell； my eyes were opened and I wanted 'em back！
However； it was no business of mine。 If grievances were the question；
I hadn't a leg to stand upon。 Though my catapults were officially
confiscated； I knew the drawer in which they were incarcerated； and where
the key of it was hidden； and I could make life a burden； if I chose； to
every living thing within a square…mile radius； so long as the catapult was
restored to its drawer in due and decent time。 But I wondered how the
others were taking it。 The edict hit them more severely。 They should
have my moral countenance at any rate； if not more； in any protest or
countermine they might be planning。 And； indeed； something seemed
possible； from the dogged； sullen air with which the two of them had
trotted off in the direction of the raspberry…canes。 Certain spots always
had their insensible attraction for certain moods。 In love； one sought the
orchard。 Weary of discipline； sick of convention； impassioned for the
road； the mining camp； the land across the border； one made for the big
meadow。 Mutinous； sulky； charged with plots and conspiracies； one
always got behind the shelter of the raspberry…canes。
。 。 。 。 。 。 。
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〃You can come too if you like；〃 said Harold； in a subdued sort of way；
as soon as he was aware that I was sitting up in bed watching him。 〃We
didn't think you'd care； 'cos you've got to catapults。 But we're goin' to do
what we've settled to do； so it's no good sayin' we hadn't ought and that
sort of thing； 'cos we're goin' to！〃
The day had passed in an ominous peacefulness。 Charlotte and
Harold had kept out of my way； as well as out of everybody else's； in a
purposeful manner that ought to have bred suspicion。
In the evening we had read books； or fitfully drawn ships and battles
on fly…leaves； apart； in separate corners； void of conversation or criticism；
oppressed by the lowering tidiness of the universe； till bedtime came； and
disrobement； and prayers even more mechanical than usual； and lastly bed
itself without so much as a giraffe under the pillow。 Harold had grunted
himself between the sheets with an ostentatious pretence of overpowering
fatigue； but I noticed that he pulled his pillow forward and propped his
head against the brass bars of his crib； and； as I was acquainted with most
of his tricks and subterfuges； it was easy for me to gather that a painful
wakefulness was his aim that night。
I had dozed off； however； and Harold was out and on his feet； poking
under the bed for his shoes； when I sat up and grimly regarded him。 Just
as he said I could come if I liked； Charlotte slipped in； her face rigid and
set。 And then it was borne in upon me that I was not on in this scene。
These youngsters had planned it all out； the piece was their own； and the
mounting； and the cast。 My sceptre had fallen； my rule had ceased。 In
this magic hour of the summer night laws went for nothing； codes were
cancelled； and those who were most in touch with the moonlight and the
warm June spirit and the topsy… turvydom that reigns when the clock
strikes ten； were the true lords and lawmakers。
Humbly； almost timidly； I followed without a protest in the wake of
these two remorseless； purposeful young persons； who were marching
straight for the schoolroom。 Here in the moonlight the grim big box
stood visiblethe box in which so large a portion of our past and our
personality lay entombed； cold； swathed in paper； awaiting the carrier of
the morning who should speed them forth to the strange； cold； distant
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Children's Hospital； where their little failings would all be misunderstood
and no one would make allowances。 A dreamy spectator； I stood idly by
while Harold propped up the lid and the two plunged in their arms and
probed and felt and grappled。
〃Here's Rosa；〃 said Harold； suddenly。 〃I know the feel of her hair。
Will you have Rosa out？〃
〃Oh； give me Rosa！〃 cried Charlotte with a sort of gasp。 And when
Rosa had been dragged forth； quite unmoved apparently； placid as ever in
her moonfaced contemplation of this comedy… world with its ups and
downs； Charlotte retired with her to the window…seat； and there in the
moonlight the two exchanged their private confidences； leaving Harold to
his exploration alone。
〃Here's something with sharp corners；〃 said Harold； presently。 〃Must
be Leotard； I think。 Better let HIM
