dream days(恂知議晩徨)-及10准
梓囚徒貧圭鮗 ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈梓囚徒貧圭鮗 ● 辛指欺云匈競何
!!!!隆堋響頼紗秘慕禰厮宴和肝写偬堋響
presume察 to entertain the smallest hope。 I must endeavour sternly to
think of something else。
Needless to say察 I thought察 I dreamed of nothing else察 day or night。
Waking察I walked arm´in´arm with a clown察and cracked a portentous whip
to the brave music of a band。 Sleeping察I pursuedperched astride of a
coal´black horsea princess all gauze and spangles察who always managed
to keep just one unattainable length ahead。 In the early morning Harold
and I察once fully awake察cross´examined each other as to the possibilities
of this or that circus tradition察 and exhausted the lore long ere the first
housemaid was stirring。 In this state of exaltation we slipped onward to
what promised to be a day of all white dayswhich brings me right back
to my text察that grown´up people really ought to be more careful。
I had known it could never really be察I had said so to myself a dozen
times。 The vision was too sweetly ethereal for embodiment。
Yet the pang of the disillusionment was none the less keen and
sickening察 and the pain was as that of a corporeal wound。 It seemed
strange and foreboding察when we entered the breakfast´ room察not to find
everybody cracking whips察 jumping over chairs察 and whooping。 In
ecstatic rehearsal of the wild reality to come。
The situation became grim and pallid indeed察 when I caught the
expressions ;garden´party; and ;my mauve tulle察─and realized that they
both referred to that very afternoon。 And every minute察as I sat silent and
listened察 my heart sank lower and lower察 descending relentlessly like a
clock´weight into my boot soles。
Throughout my agony I never dreamed of resorting to a direct question察
much less a reproach。 Even during the period of joyful anticipation some
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fear of breaking the spell had kept me from any bald circus talk in the
presence of them。 But Harold察 who was built in quite another way察 so
soon as he discerned the drift of their conversation and heard the knell of
all his hopes察filled the room with wail and clamour of bereavement。 The
grinning welkin rang with ;Circus ─ Circus ─shook the window´panes察
the mocking walls re´echoed ;Circus ─ Circus he would have察 and the
whole circus察 and nothing but the circus。 No compromise for him察 no
evasions察 no fallacious察 unsecured promises to pay。 He had drawn his
cheque on the Bank of Expectation察and it had got to be cashed then and
there察else he would yell察and yell himself into a fit察and come out of it and
yell again。 Yelling should be his profession察 his art察 his mission察 his
career。 He was qualified察 he was resolute察 and he was in no hurry to
retire from the business。
The noisy ones of the world察if they do not always shout themselves
into the imperial purple察are sure at least of receiving attention。 If they
cannot sell everything at their own price察one thingsilencemust察at any
cost察 be purchased of them。 Harold accordingly had to be consoled by
the employment of every specious fallacy and base´born trick known to
those whose doom it is to handle children。 For me their hollow cajolery
had no interest察I could pluck no consolation out of their bankrupt though
prodigal pledges I only waited till that hateful察well´known ;Some other
time察 dear ─ told me that hope was finally dead。 Then I left the room
without any remark。 It made it worseif anything couldto hear that
stale察worn´out old phrase察still supposed by those dullards to have some
efficacy。
To nature察as usual察I drifted by instinct察and there察out of the track of
humanity察 under a friendly hedge´row had my black hour unseen。 The
world was a globe no longer察 space was no more filled with whirling
circuses of spheres。 That day the old beliefs rose up and asserted
themselves察 and the earth was flat againditch´riddled察 stagnant察 and
deadly flat。 The undeviating roads crawled straight and white察 elms
dressed themselves stiffly along inflexible hedges察 all nature察 centrifugal
no longer察sprawled flatly in lines out to its farthest edge察and I felt just
like walking out to that terminus察and dropping quietly off。 Then察as I sat
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there察morosely chewing bits of stick察the recollection came back to me of
certain fascinating advertisements I had spelled out in the papers
advertisements of great and happy men察 owning big ships of tonnage
running into four figures察 who yet craved察 to the extent of public
supplication察for the sympathetic co´operation of youths as apprentices。 I
did not rightly know what apprentices might be察nor whether I was yet big
enough to be styled a youth察 but one thing seemed clear察 that察 by some
such means as this察whatever the intervening hardships察I could eventually
visit all the circuses of the worldthe circuses of merry France and gaudy
Spain察 of Holland and Bohemia察 of China and Peru。 Here was a plan
worth thinking out in all its bearings察for something had presently to be
done to end this intolerable state of things。
Mid´day察 and even feeding´time察 passed by gloomily enough察 till a
small disturbance occurred which had the effect of releasing some of the
electricity with which the air was charged。 Harold察 it should be
explained察 was of a very different mental mould察 and never brooded察
moped察 nor ate his heart out over any disappointment。 One wild
outburstone dissolution of a minute into his original elements of air and
water察 of tears and outcryso much insulted nature claimed。 Then he
would pull himself together察 iron out his countenance with a smile察 and
adjust himself to the new condition of things。
If the gods are ever grateful to man for anything察it is when he is so
good as to display a short memory。 The Olympians were never slow to
recognize this quality of Harold's察in which察indeed察their salvation lay察and
on this occasion their gratitude had taken the practical form of a fine fat
orange察tough´ rinded as oranges of those days were wont to be。 This he
had eviscerated in the good old´fashioned manner察by biting out a hole in
the shoulder察inserting a lump of sugar therein察and then working it cannily
till the whole soul and body of the orange passed glorified through the
sugar into his being。 Thereupon察filled full of orange´juice and iniquity察
he conceived a deadly snare。 Having deftly patted and squeezed the
orange´skin till it resumed its original shape察 he filled it up with water察
inserted a fresh lump of sugar in the orifice察 and察 issuing forth察 blandly
proffered it to me as I sat moodily in the doorway dreaming of strange
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wild circuses under tropic skies。
Such a stale old dodge as this would hardly have taken me in at
ordinary moments。 But Harold had reckoned rightly upon the disturbing
effect of ill´humour察and had guessed察perhaps察that I thirsted for comfort
and consolation察and would not criticise too closely the source from which
they came。 Unthinkingly I grasped the golden fraud察which collapsed at
my touch察and squirted its contents into my eyes and over my collar察till
the nethermost parts of me were damp with the water that had run down
my neck。 In an instant I had Harold down察 and察with all the energy of
which I was capable察devoted myself to grinding his head into the gravel察
while he察 realizing th