louis lambert-第6节

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moment；　if　there　were　a　book　to　be　finished；　or　if　we　were　lost　in
thought；　the　task　was　forgottenagain　an　imposition。　How　often　have
we　scribbled　an　exercise　during　the　time　when　the　head…boy；　whose
business　it　was　to　collect　them　when　we　came　into　school；　was
gathering　them　from　the　others！

In　addition　to　the　moral　misery　which　Lambert　went　through　in　trying
to　acclimatize　himself　to　college　life；　there　was　a　scarcely　less
cruel　apprenticeship　through　which　every　boy　had　to　pass：　to　those
bodily　sufferings　which　seemed　infinitely　varied。　The　tenderness　of　a
child's　skin　needs　extreme　care；　especially　in　winter；　when　a　school…
boy　is　constantly　exchanging　the　frozen　air　of　the　muddy　playing…yard
for　the　stuffy　atmosphere　of　the　classroom。　The　〃little　boys〃　and　the
smallest　of　all；　for　lack　of　a　mother's　care；　were　martyrs　to
chilblains　and　chaps　so　severe　that　they　had　to　be　regularly　dressed
during　the　breakfast　hour；　but　this　could　only　be　very　indifferently
done　to　so　many　damaged　hands；　toes；　and　heels。　A　good　many　of　the
boys　indeed　were　obliged　to　prefer　the　evil　to　the　remedy；　the　choice
constantly　lay　between　their　lessons　waiting　to　be　finished　or　the
joys　of　a　slide；　and　waiting　for　a　bandage　carelessly　put　on；　and
still　more　carelessly　cast　off　again。　Also　it　was　the　fashion　in　the
school　to　gibe　at　the　poor；　feeble　creatures　who　went　to　be　doctored；
the　bullies　vied　with　each　other　in　snatching　off　the　rags　which　the
infirmary　nurse　had　tied　on。　Hence；　in　winter；　many　of　us；　with　half…
dead　feet　and　fingers；　sick　with　pain；　were　incapable　of　work；　and
punished　for　not　working。　The　Fathers；　too　often　deluded　by　shammed
ailments；　would　not　believe　in　real　suffering。

The　price　paid　for　our　schooling　and　board　also　covered　the　cost　of
clothing。　The　committee　contracted　for　the　shoes　and　clothes　supplied
to　the　boys；　hence　the　weekly　inspection　of　which　I　have　spoken。　This
plan；　though　admirable　for　the　manager；　is　always　disastrous　to　the
managed。　Woe　to　the　boy　who　indulged　in　the　bad　habit　of　treading　his
shoes　down　at　heel；　of　cracking　the　shoe…leather；　or　wearing　out　the
soles　too　fast；　whether　from　a　defect　in　his　gait；　or　by　fidgeting
during　lessons　in　obedience　to　the　instinctive　need　of　movement　common
to　all　children。　That　boy　did　not　get　through　the　winter　without　great
suffering。　In　the　first　place；　his　chilblains　would　ache　and　shot　as
badly　as　a　fit　of　the　gout；　then　the　rivets　and　pack…thread　intended
to　repair　the　shoes　would　give　way；　or　the　broken　heels　would　prevent
the　wretched　shoes　from　keeping　on　his　feet；　he　was　obliged　to　drag
them　wearily　along　the　frozen　roads；　or　sometimes　to　dispute　their
possession　with　the　clay　soil　of　the　district；　the　water　and　snow　got
in　through　some　unnoticed　crack　or　ill…sewn　patch；　and　the　foot　would
swell。

Out　of　sixty　boys；　not　ten　perhaps　could　walk　without　some　special
form　of　torture；　and　yet　they　all　kept　up　with　the　body　of　the　troop；
dragged　on　by　the　general　movement；　as　men　are　driven　through　life　by
life　itself。　Many　a　time　some　proud…tempered　boy　would　shed　tears　of
rage　while　summoning　his　remaining　energy　to　run　ahead　and　get　home
again　in　spite　of　pain；　so　sensitively　afraid　of　laughter　or　of　pity
two　forms　of　scornis　the　still　tender　soul　at　that　age。

At　school；　as　in　social　life；　the　strong　despise　the　feeble　without
knowing　in　what　true　strength　consists。

Nor　was　this　all。　No　gloves。　If　by　good　hap　a　boy's　parents；　the
infirmary　nurse；　or　the　headmaster　gave　gloves　to　a　particularly
delicate　lad；　the　wags　or　the　big　boys　of　the　class　would　put　them　on
the　stove；　amused　to　see　them　dry　and　shrivel；　or　if　the　gloves
escaped　the　marauders；　after　getting　wet　they　shrunk　as　they　dried　for
want　of　care。　No；　gloves　were　impossible。　Gloves　were　a　privilege；　and
boys　insist　on　equality。

Louis　Lambert　fell　a　victim　to　all　these　varieties　of　torment。　Like
many　contemplative　men；　who；　when　lost　in　thought；　acquire　a　habit　of
mechanical　motion；　he　had　a　mania　for　fidgeting　with　his　shoes；　and
destroyed　them　very　quickly。　His　girlish　complexion；　the　skin　of　his
ears　and　lips；　cracked　with　the　least　cold。　His　soft；　white　hands　grew
red　and　swollen。　He　had　perpetual　colds。　Thus　he　was　a　constant
sufferer　till　he　became　inured　to　school…life。　Taught　at　last　by　cruel
experience；　he　was　obliged　to　〃look　after　his　things；〃　to　use　the
school　phrase。　He　was　forced　to　take　care　of　his　locker；　his　desk；　his
clothes；　his　shoes；　to　protect　his　ink；　his　books；　his　copy…paper；　and
his　pens　from　pilferers；　in　short；　to　give　his　mind　to　the　thousand
details　of　our　trivial　life；　to　which　more　selfish　and　commonplace
minds　devoted　such　strict　attentionthus　infallibly　securing　prizes
for　〃proficiency〃　and　〃good　conduct〃while　they　were　overlooked　by　a
boy　of　the　highest　promise；　who；　under　the　hand　of　an　almost　divine
imagination；　gave　himself　up　with　rapture　to　the　flow　of　his　ideas。

This　was　not　all。　There　is　a　perpetual　struggle　going　on　between　the
masters　and　the　boys；　a　struggle　without　truce；　to　be　compared　with
nothing　else　in　the　social　world；　unless　it　be　the　resistance　of　the
opposition　to　the　ministry　in　a　representative　government。　But
journalists　and　opposition　speakers　are　probably　less　prompt　to　take
advantage　of　a　weak　point；　less　extreme　in　resenting　an　injury；　and
less　merciless　in　their　mockery　than　boys　are　in　regard　to　those　who
rule　over　them。　It　is　a　task　to　put　angels　out　of　patience。　An　unhappy
class…master　must　then　not　be　too　severely　blamed；　ill…paid　as　he　is；
and　consequently　not　too　competent；　if　he　is　occasionally　unjust　or
out　of　temper。　Perpetually　watched　by　a　hundred　mocking　eyes；　and
surrounded　with　snares；　he　sometimes　revenges　himself　for　his　own
blunders　on　the　boys　who　are　only　too　ready　to　detect　them。

Unless　for　serious　misdemeanors；　for　which　there　were　other　forms　of
punishment；　the　strap　was　regarded　at　Vendome　as　the　/ultima　ratio
Patrum/。　Exercises　forgotten；　lessons　ill　learned；　common　ill　behavior
were　sufficiently　punished　by　an　imposition；　but　offended　dignity
spoke　in　the　master　through　the　strap。　Of　all　the　physical　torments　to
which　we　were　exposed；　certainly　the　most　acute　was　that　inflicted　by
this　leathern　instrument；　about　two　fingers　wide；　applied　to　our　poor
little　hands　with　all　the　strength　and　all　the　fury　of　the
administrator。　To　endure　this　classical　form　of　correction；　the　victim
knelt　in　the　middle　of　the　room。　He　had　to　leave　his　form　and　go　to
kneel　down　near　the　master's　desk　under　the　curious　and　generally
merciless　eyes　of　his　fellows。　To　sensitive　natures　these
preliminaries　were　an　introductory　torture；　like　the　journey　from　the
Palais　de　Justice　to　the　Place　de　Greve　which　the　condemned　used　to
make　to　the　scaffold。

Some　boys　cried　out　and　shed　bitter　tears　before　or　after　the
application　of　the　strap；　others　accepted　the　infliction　with　stoic
calm；　it　was　a　question　of　nature；　but　few　could　control　an　expression
of　anguish　in　anticipation。

Louis　Lambert　was　constantly　enduring　the　strap；　and　owed　it　to　a
peculiarity　of　his　physiognomy　of　which　he　was　for　a　long　time　quite
unconscious。　Whenever　he　was　suddenly　roused　from　a　fit　of　abstraction
by　the　master's　cry；　〃You　are　doing　nothing！〃　it　often　happened　that；
without　knowing　it；　he　flashed　at　his　teacher　a　look　full　of　fierce
contempt；　and　charged　with　thought；　as　a　Leyden　jar　is　charged　with
electricity。　This　look；　no　doubt；　discomfited　the　master；　who；
indignant　at　this　unspoken　retort；　wished　to　cure　his　scholar　of　that
thunderous　flash。

The　first　time　the　Father　took　offence　at　this　ray　of　scorn；　which
struck　him　like　a　lightning…flash；　he　made　this　speech；　as　I　well
remember：

〃If　you　look　at　me　again　in　that　way；　Lambert；　you　will　get　the
strap。〃

At　these　words　every　nose　was　in　the　air；　every　eye　looked　alternately
at　the　master　and　at　Louis。　The　observation　was　so　utterly　foolish；
that　the　boy　again　looked　at　the　Father；　overwhelming　him　with　another
flash。　From　this　arose　a　standing　feud　between　Lambert　and　his　master；
resulting　in　a　certain　amount　of　〃strap。〃　Thus　did　he　first　discover
the　power　of　his　eye。

The　hapless　poet；　so　full　of　nerves；　as　sensitive　as　a　woman；　under
the　sway　of　chronic　melancholy；　and　as　sick　with　genius　as　a　girl　with
love　that　she　pines　for；　knowing　nothing　of　it；this　boy；　at　once　so
powerful　and　so　weak；　transplanted　by　〃Corinne〃　from　the　country　he
loved；　to　be　squeezed　in　the　mould　of　a　collegiate　routine　to　which
every　spirit　and　every　body　must　yield；　whatever　their　range　or
temperament；　accepting　its　rule　and　its　uniform　as　gold　is　crushed
into　round　coin　under　the　press；　Louis　Lambert　suffered　in　every　spot
where　pain　can　touch　the　soul　or　the　flesh。　Stuck　on　a　form；
restricted　to　the　acreage　of　his　desk；　a　victim　of　the　strap　and　to　a
sickly　frame；　tortured　in　every　sense；　environed　by　distress
everything　compelled　him　to　give　his　body　up　to　the　myriad　tyrannies
of　school　life；　and；　like　the　martyrs　who　smiled　in　the　midst　of
suffering；　he　took　refuge　in　heaven；　which　lay　open　to　his　mind。
Perhaps　this　life　of　purely　inward　emotions　helped　him　to　see
somet