lady baltimore-第15节

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ature　of　his　errands　to　the　Exchange。　The　first　time　he　had　been　ordering　the　cake　for　his　own　wedding；　and　to…day　it　was　something　about　the　wedding　again。　Evidently　the　high　mettle　of　his　delicacy　and　breeding　made　him　painfully　conscious　of　the　view　which　others　must　take　of　the　part　that　Miss　Rieppe　was　playing　in　all　thisa　view　from　which　it　was　out　of　his　power　to　shield　her；　and　it　was　this　consciousness　that　destroyed　his　composure。　From　what　I　was　soon　to　learn　of　his　fine　and　unmoved　disregard　for　unfavorable　opinion　when　he　felt　his　course　to　be　the　right　one；　I　know　that　it　was　no　thought　at　all　of　his　own　scarcely　heroic　role　during　these　days；　but　only　the　perception　that　outsiders　must　detect　in　his　affianced　lady　some　of　those　very　same　qualities　which　had　chilled　his　too　precipitate　passion　for　her；　and　left　him　alone；　without　romance；　without　family　sympathy；　without　social　acclamations；　with　nothing　indeed　save　his　high…strung　notion　of　honor　to　help　him　bravely　face　the　wedding　march。　How　appalling　must　the　wedding　march　sound　to　a　waiting　bridegroom　who　sees　the　bride；　that　he　no　longer　looks　at　except　with　distaste　and　estrangement；　coming　nearer　and　nearer　to　him　up　the　aisle！　A　funeral　march　would　be　gayer　than　that　music；　I　should　think！　The　thought　came　to　me　to　break　out　bluntly　and　say　to　him：　〃Countermand　the　cake！　She's　only　playing　with　you　while　that　yachtsman　is　making　up　his　mind。〃　But　there　could　be　but　one　outcome　of　such　advice　to　John　Mayrant：　two　people；　instead　of　one；　would　be　in　bed　suffering　from　contusions。　As　I　mused　on　the　boy　and　his　attractive　and　appealing　character；　I　became　more　rejoiced　than　ever　that　he　had　thrashed　somebody；　I　cared　not　very　much　who　nor　yet　very　much　why；　so　long　as　such　thrashing　had　been　thorough；　which　seemed　quite　evidently　and　happily　the　case。　He　stood　now　in　my　eyes；　in　some　way　that　is　too　obscure　for　me　to　be　able　to　explain　to　you；　saved　from　some　reproach　whose　subtlety　likewise　eludes　my　powers　of　analysis。

It　was　already　five　minutes　after　three　o'clock；　my　dinner　hour；　when　he　at　length　appeared　in　the　Library；　and　possibly　I　put　some　reproach　into　my　greeting：　〃Won't　you　walk　along　with　me　to　Mrs。　Trevise's？〃　（That　was　my　boarding　house。）

〃I　could　not　get　away　from　the　Custom　House　sooner；〃　he　explained；　and　into　his　eyes　there　came　for　a　moment　that　look　of　unrest　and　pre…　occupation　which　I　had　observed　at　times　while　we　had　discussed　Newport　and　alcoholic　girls。　The　two　subjects　seemed　certainly　far　enough　apart！　But　he　immediately　began　upon　a　conversation　briskly　enoughso　briskly　that　I　suspected　at　once　he　had　got　his　subject　ready　in　advance；　he　didn't　want　me　to　speak　first；　lest　I　turn　the　talk　into　channels　embarrassing；　such　as　bruised　foreheads　or　wedding　cake。　Well；　this　should　not　prevent　me　from　dropping　in　his　cup　the　wholesome　bitters　which　I　had　prepared。

〃Well；　sir！　Well；　sir！〃　such　was　his　hearty　preface。　〃I　wonder　if　you're　feeling　ashamed　of　yourself？〃

〃Never　when　I　read　Shakespeare；〃　I　answered　restoring　the　plume　to　its　place。

He　looked　at　the　title。　〃Which　one？〃

〃One　of　the　unsuitable　love　affairs　that　was　prevented　in　time。〃

〃Romeo　and　Juliet？〃

〃No；　Bottom　and　Titaniaand　Romeo　and　JuIiet　were　not　prevented　in　time。　They　had　their　bliss　once　and　to　the　full；　and　died　before　they　caused　each　other　anything　but　ecstasy。　No　weariness　of　routine；　no　tears　of　disenchantment；　complete　love；　completely　realizedand　finis！　It's　the　happiest　ending　of　all　the　plays。〃

He　looked　at　me　hard。　〃Sometimes　I　believe　you're　ironic！

I　smiled　at　him。　〃A　sign　of　the　highest　civilization；　then。　But　please　to　think　of　Juliet　after　ten　years　of　Romeo　and　his　pin…headed　intelligence　and　his　preordained　infidelities。　Do　you　imagine　that　her　predecessor；　Rosamond；　would　have　had　no　successors？　Juliet　would　have　been　compelled　to　divorce　Romeo；　if　only　for　the　children's　sake。

〃The　children！〃　cried　John　Mayrant。　〃Why；　it's　for　their　sake　deserted　women　abstain　from　divorce！〃

〃Juliet　would　see　deeper　than　such　mothers。　She　could　not　have　her　little　sons　and　daughters　grow　up　and　comprehend　their　father's　absences；　and　see　their　mother's　submission　to　his　returns　for　such　discovery　would　scorch　the　marrow　of　any　hearts　they　had。〃

At　this；　as　we　came　out　of　the　Library；　he　made　an　astonishing　rejoinder；　and　one　which　I　cannot　in　the　least　account　for：　〃South　Carolina　does　not　allow　divorce。〃

〃Then　I　should　think；〃　I　said　to　him；　〃that　all　you　people　here　would　be　doubly　careful　as　to　what　manner　of　husbands　and　wives　you　chose　for　yourselves。〃

Such　a　remark　was　sailing；　you　may　say；　almost　within　three　points　of　the　wind；　and　his　own　accidental　allusion　to　Romeo　had　brought　it　about　with　an　aptness　and　a　celerity　which　were　better　for　my　purpose　than　anything　I　had　privately　developed　from　the　text　of　Bottom　and　Titania；　none　the　less；　however；　did　I　intend　to　press　into　my　service　that　fond　couple　also　as　basis　for　a　moral；　in　spite　of　the　sharp　turn　which　those　last　words　of　mine　now　caused　him　at　once　to　give　to　our　conversation。　His　quick　reversion　to　the　beginning　of　the　talk　seemed　like　a　dodging　of　remarks　that　hit　too　near　home　for　him　to　relish　hearing　pursued。

〃Well；　sir；〃　he　resumed　with　the　same　initial　briskness；　〃I　was　ashamed　if　you　were　not。〃

〃I　still　don't　make　out　what　impropriety　we　have　jointly　committed。〃

〃What　do　you　think　of　the　views　you　expressed　about　our　country？〃

〃Oh！　When　we　sat　on　the　gravestones。〃

〃What　do　you　think　about　it　to…day？〃

I　turned　to　him　as　we　slowly　walked　toward　Worship　Street。　〃Did　you　say　anything　then　that　you　would　take　back　now？〃

He　pondered；　wrinkling　his　forehead。　〃Well；　but　all　the　same；　didn't　we　give　the　present　hour　a　pretty　black　eye？〃

〃The　present　hour　deserves　a　black　eye；　and　two　of　them！〃

He　surveyed　me　squarely。　〃I　believe　you're　a　pessimist！〃

〃That　is　the　first　trashy　thing　I've　heard　you　say。〃

〃Thank　you！　At　least　admit　you're　scarcely　an　optimist。〃

〃Optimist！　Pessimist！　Why；　you're　talking　just　like　a　newspaper！〃

He　laughed。　〃Oh；　don't　compare　a　gentleman　to　a　newspaper。〃

〃Then　keep　your　vocabulary　clean　of　bargain…counter　words。　A　while　ago　the　journalists　had　a　furious　run　upon　the　adjective　'un…American。'　Anybody　or　anything　that　displeased　them　was　'un…American。'　They　ran　it　into　the　ground；　and　in　its　place　they　have　lately　set　up　'pessimist；'　which　certainly　has　a　threatening　appearance。　They　don't　know　its　meaning；　and　in　their　mouths　it　merely　signifies　that　what　a　man　says　snakes　them　feel　personally　uncomfortable。　The　word　has　become　a　dusty　rag　of　slang。　The　arrested　burglar　very　likely　calls　the　policeman　a　pessimist；　and；　speaking　reverently　and　with　no　intention　to　shock　you；　the　scribes　and　Pharisees　would　undoubtedly　have　called　Christ　a　pessimist　when　He　called　them　hypocrites；　had　they　been　acquainted　with　the　word。〃

Once　more　my　remarks　drew　from　the　boy　an　unexpected　rejoinder。　We　had　turned　into　Worship　Street；　and；　as　we　passed　the　churchyard；　he　stopped　and　laid　his　hand　upon　the　railing　of　the　pate。

〃You　don't　shock　me；〃　he　said；　and　then：　〃But　you　would　shock　my　aunts。〃　He　paused；　gazing　into　the　churchyard；　before　he　continued　more　slowly：　〃And　so　should　Iif　they　knew　itshock　them。〃

〃If　they　knew　what？〃　I　asked。

His　hand　indicated　a　sculptured　crucifix　near　by。

〃Do　you　believe　everything　still？〃　he　answered。　〃Can　you？〃

As　he　looked　at　me；　I　suppose　that　he　read　negation　in　my　eyes。

〃No　more　can　I；〃　he　murmured。　Again　he　looked　in　among　the　tombstones　and　flowers；　where　the　old　custodian　saw　us　and　took　off　his　hat。　〃Howdy；　Daddy　Ben！〃　John　Mayrant　returned　pleasantly；　and　then　resuming　to　me：　〃No　more　can　I　believe　everything。〃　Then　he　gave　a　brief；　comical　laugh。　〃And　I　hope　my　aunts　won't　find　that　out！　They　would　think　me　gone　to　perdition　indeed。　But　I　always　go　to　church　here〃　（he　pointed　to　the　quiet　building；　which；　for　all　its　modest　size　and　simplicity；　had　a　stately　and　inexpressible　charm）；　〃because　I　like　to　kneel　where　my　mother　said　her　prayers；　you　know。〃　He　flushed　a　little　over　this　confidence　into　which　he　had　fallen；　but　he　continued：　〃I　like　the　words　of　the　service；　too；　and　I　don't　ask　myself　over…curiously　what　I　do　believe；　but　there's　a　permanent　something　within　usa　Greater　Self　don't　you　think？〃

〃A　permanent　something；〃　I　assented；　〃which　has　created　all　the　religions　all　over　the　earth　from　the　beginning；　and　of　which　Christianity　itself　is　merely　one　of　the　present　temples。〃

He　made　an　exclamation　at　my　word　〃present。〃

〃Do　you　think　anything　in　this　world　is　final？〃　I　asked　him。

〃But〃　he　began；　somewhat　at　a　loss。

〃Haven't　you　found　out　yet　that　human　nature　is　the　one　indestructible　reality　that　we　know？〃

〃But〃　he　began　again。

〃Don't　we　have　the　'latest　thing'　all　the　time；　and　never　the　ultimate　thing；　never；　never？　The　latest　thing　in　women's　hats　is　that　huge…brimmed　affair　with　the　veil　as　voluminous　as　a　double…bed　mosquito　netting。　That　hat　will　look　improbable　next　spring。　The　latest　thing　in　science　is　radium。　Radium　has　exploded　the　conservation　of　energy　theoryturned　it　into　a　last　year's　hat。　Answer　me；