the choir invisible-第26节

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n　silence。

She　began　to　grow　nervous。　She　had　stooped　to　pick　up　the　thread　of　flax　and　was　passing　it　slowly　between　her　fingers。　When　he　spoke　again；　his　voice　showed　that　he　shook　like　a　man　with　a　chill：　〃I　have　said　all　I　can　say。　I　have　offered　all　I　have　to　offer。　I　am　waiting。〃

Still　the　silence　lasted　for　the　new　awe　of　him　that　began　to　fall　upon　her。　In　ways　she　could　not　fathom　she　was　beginning　to　feel　that　a　change　had　come　over　him　during　these　weeks　of　their　separation。　He　used　more　gentleness　with　her：　his　voice；　his　manner；　his　whole　bearing；　had　finer　courtesy；　he　had　strangely　ascended　to　some　higher　level　of　character；　and　he　spoke　to　her　from　this　distance　with　a　sadness　that　touched　her　indefinablywith　a　larger　manliness　that　had　its　quick　effect。　She　covertly　lifted　her　eyes　and　beheld　on　his　face　a　proud　passion　of　beauty　and　of　pain　beyond　anything　that　she　had　ever　thought　possible　to　him　or　to　any　man。　She　quickly　dropped　her　head　again；　she　shifted　her　position；　a　band　seemed　to　tighten　around　her　throat；　until；　in　a　voice　hardly　to　be　heard；　she　murmured　falteringly：

〃I　have　promised　to　marry　Joseph。〃

He　did　not　speak　or　move；　but　continued　to　stand　leaning　against　the　lintel　of　the　doorway；　looking　down　on　her。　The　colour　was　fading　from　the　west　leaving　it　ashen　white。　And　so　standing　in　the　dying　radiance；　he　saw　the　long　bright　day　of　his　young　hope　come　to　its　close；　he　drained　to　its　dregs　his　cup　of　bitterness　she　had　prepared　for　him；　learned　his　first　lesson　in　the　victory　of　little　things　over　the　larger　purposes　of　life；　over　the　nobler　planning；　bit　the　dust　of　the　heart's　first　defeat　and　tragedy。

She　had　caught　up　the　iron　shears　in　her　nervousness　and　begun　to　cut　the　flaxen　thread；　and　in　the　silence　of　the　room　only　the　rusty　click　was　now　heard　as　she　clipped　it；　clipped　it；　clipped　it。

Then　such　a　greater　trembling　seized　her　that　she　laid　the　shears　back　upon　the　table。　Still　he　did　not　move　or　speak；　and　there　seemed　to　fall　upon　her　consciencein　insupportable　burden　until；　as　if　by　no　will　of　her　own；　she　spoke　again　pitifully：

〃I　didn't　know　that　you　cared　so　much　for　me。　It　isn't　my　fault。　You　had　never　asked　me；　and　he　had　already　asked　me　twice。〃　He　changed　his　position　quickly　so　that　the　last　light　coming　in　through　the　window　could　no　longer　betray　his　face。　All　at　once　his　voice　broke　through　the　darkness；　so　unlike　itself　that　she　started：

〃When　did　you　give　him　this　promise？　I　have　no　right　to　ask　。　。　。　when　did　you　give　him　this　promise？〃

She　answered　as　if　by　no　will　of　her　own：〃The　night　of　the　ballas　we　were　going　home。〃

She　waited　until　she　felt　that　she　should　sink　to　the　ground。

Then　he　spoke　again　as　if　rather　to　himself　than　to　her；　and　with　the　deepest　sorrow　and　pity　for　them　both：

〃If　I　had　gone　with　you　that　nightif　I　had　gone　with　you　that　nightand　had　asked　youyou　would　have　married　me。〃

Her　lips　began　to　quiver　and　all　that　was　in　her　to　break　down　before　himto　yearn　for　him。　In　a　voice　neither　could　scarce　hear　she　said：

〃I　will　marry　you　yet！〃

She　listened。　She　waited；　Out　of　the　darkness　she　could　distinguish　not　the　rustle　of　a　movement；　not　a　breath　of　sound；　and　at　last　cowering　back　into　herself　with　shame；　she　buried　her　face　in　her　hands。

Then　she　was　aware　that　he　had　come　forward　and　was　standing　over　her。　He　bent　his　head　down　so　close　that　his　lids　touched　her　hairso　close　that　his　warm　breath　was　on　her　foreheadand　she　　felt　rather　than　knew　him　saying　to　himself；　not　to　her：

〃Good…bye！〃

He　passed　like　a　tall　spirit　out　of　the　door；　and　she　heard　his　footsteps　die　away　along　the　pathdie　slowly　away　as　of　one　who　goes　never　to　return。


XV

A　JEST　may　be　the　smallest　pebble　that　was　ever　dropped　into　the　sunny　mid…ocean　of　the　mind；　but　sooner　or　later　it　sinks　to　a　hard　bottom；　sooner　or　later　sends　it　ripples　toward　the　shores　where　the　caves　of　the　fatal　passions　yawn　and　roar　for　wreckage。　It　is　the　Comedy　of　speech　that　forever　dwells　as　Tragedy's　fondest　sister；　sharing　with　her　the　same　unmarked　domain；　for　the　two　are　but　identical　forces　of　the　mind　in　gentle　and　in　ungentle　action　as　one　atmosphere　holds　within　itself　unseparated　the　zephyr　and　the　storm。

The　following　afternoon　O'Bannon　was　ambling　back　to　townslowly　and　awkwardly；　he　being　a　poor　rider　and　dreading　a　horse's　back　as　he　would　have　avoided　its　kick。　He　was　returning　from　the　paper　mill　at　Georgetown　whither　he　had　been　sent　by　Mr。　Bradford　with　an　order　for　a　further　supply　of　sheets。　The　errand　had　not　been　a　congenial　one；　and　he　was　thinking　now　as　often　before　that　he　would　welcome　any　chance　of　leaving　the　editor's　service。　What　he　had　always　coveted　since　his　coming　into　the　wilderness　was　the　young　master's　school；　for　the　Irish　teacher；　afterwards　so　well　known　a　figure　in　the　West；　was　even　at　this　time　beginning　to　bend　his　mercurial　steps　across　the　mountains。　Out　of　his　covetousness　had　sprung　perhaps　his　enmity　toward　the　master；　whom　he　further　despised　for　his　Scotch　blood；　and　in　time　had　grown　to　dislike　from　motives　of　jealousy；　and　last　of　all　to　hate　for　his　simple　purity。　Many　a　man　nurses　a　grudge　of　this　kind　against　his　human　brother　and　will　take　pains　to　punish　him　accordingly；　for　success　in　virtue　is　as　hard　for　certain　natures　to　witness　as　success　in　anything　else　will　irritate　those　whose　nerveless　or　impatient　or　ill…directed　grasp　it　has　wisely　eluded。

On　all　accounts　therefore　it　had　fallen　well　to　his　purpose　to　make　the　schoolmaster　the　dupe　of　a　disagreeable　jest。　The　jest　had　had　unexpectedly　serious　consequences：　it　had　brought　about　the　complete　discomfiture　of　John　in　his　love　affair；　it　had　caused　the　trouble　behind　the　troubled　face　with　which　he　had　looked　out　upon　every　one　during　his　illness。

The　two　young　men　had　never　met　since；　but　the　one　was　under　a　cloud；　the　other　was　refulgent　with　his　petty　triumph；　and　he　had　set　his　face　all　the　more　toward　any　further　aggressiveness　that　occasion　should　bring　happily　to　his　hand。

The　mere　road　might　have　shamed　him　into　manlier　reflections。　It　was　one　of　the　forest　highways　of　the　majestic　bison　opened　ages　before　into　what　must　have　been　to　them　Nature's　most　gorgeous　kingdom；　her　fairest；　most　magical　Babylon：　with　hanging　gardens　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　of　verdure　everywhere　swung　from　the　tree…domes　to　the　ground；　with　the　earth　one　vast　rolling　garden　of　softest　verdure　and　crystal　waters：　an　ancient　Babylon　of　the　Western　woods；　most　alluring　and　in　the　end　most　fatal　to　the　luxurious；　wantoning　wild　creatures；　which　know　no　sin　and　are　never　found　wanting。

This　old　forest　street　of　theirs；　so　broad；　so　roomy；　so　arched　with　hoary　trees；　so　silent　now　and　filled　with　the　pity　and　pathos　of　their　ruinit　may　not　after　all　have　been　marked　out　by　them。　But　ages　before　they　had　ever　led　their　sluggish　armies　eastward　to　the　Mississippi　and；　crossing；　had　shaken　its　bright　drops　from　their　shaggy　low…hung　necks　on　the　eastern　bankages　before　this；　while　the　sun　of　human　history　was　yet　silvering　the　dawn　of　the　worldbefore　Job's　sheep　lay　sick　in　the　land　of　Uz　before　a　lion　had　lain　down　to　dream　in　the　jungle　where　Babylon　was　to　arise　and　to　become　a　name；this　old；　old；　old　high　road　may　have　been　a　footpath　of　the　awful　mastodon；　who　had　torn　his　terrible　way　through　the　tangled；　twisted；　gnarled　and　rooted　fastnesses　of　the　wilderness　as　lightly　as　a　wild　young　Cyclone　out　of　the　South　tears　his　way　through　the　ribboned　corn。

Ay；　for　ages　the　mastodon　had　trodden　this　dust。　And；　ay；　for　ages　later　the　bison。　And；　ay；　for　ages　a　people；　over　whose　vanished　towns　and　forts　and　graves　had　grown　the　trees　of　a　thousand　years；　holding　in　the　mighty　claws　of　their　roots　the　dust　of　those　long；　long　secrets。　And　for　centuries　later　still　along　this　path　had　crept　or　rushed　or　fled　the　Indians：　now　coming　from　over　the　moon…loved；　fragrant；　passionate　Southern　mountains；　now　from　the　sad　frozen　forests　and　steely　marges　of　the　Lakes：　both　eager　for　the　chase。　For　into　this　high　road　of　the　mastodon　and　the　bison　smaller　pathways　entered　from　each　side；　as　lesser　watercourses　run　into　a　river：　the　avenues　of　the　round…horned　elk；　narrow；　yet　broad　enough　for　the　tossing　of　his　lordly　antlers；　the　trails　of　the　countless　migrating　shuffling　bear；　the　slender　woodland　alleys　along　which　buck　and　doe　and　fawn　had　sought　the　springs　or　crept　tenderly　from　their　breeding　coverts　or　fled　like　shadows　in　the　race　for　life；　the　devious　wolf…runs　of　the　maddened　packs　as　they　had　sprung　to　the　kill；　the　threadlike　passages　of　the　stealthy　fox；　the　tiny　trickle　of　the　squirrel；　crossing；　recrossing；　without　number；　and　ever　close　beside　all　these；　unseen；　the　grass…path　or　the　tree…path　of　the　cougar。　Ay；　both　eager　for　the　chase　at　first　and　then　more　eager　for　each　other's　death　for　the　sake　of　the　whole　chase：　so　that　this　immemorial　game…trace　had　become　a　war…patha　long　dim　forest　street　alive　with　the　advance　and　retreat　of　plume…bearing；　vermilion…painted　armies；　and　its　rich　black　dust；　on　which　hereand　there　a　few　scars　of　sunlight　now　lay　like　stillest　thinnest　yellow　leaves；　had　been　dyed　from　end　to　end