the choir invisible-第25节

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〃O'Bannon！〃

〃O'Bannon！〃　exclaimed　John　with　a　frown。　〃I've　never　talked　to　O'Bannon　about　youabout　anything。〃

〃You　haven't　abused　me？〃　said　Peter；　wheeling　on　the　schoolmaster；　eyes　and　face　and　voice　full　of　the　suffering　of　his　wounded　self…love　and　of　his　wounded　affection。

〃I　hope　I've　abused　nobody！〃　said　John　proudly。

〃Come　in　here！〃　cried　Peter；　springing　up　and　hurrying　into　his　shop。

Near　the　door　stood　a　walnut　tree　with　wide…spreading　branches　wearing　the　fresh　plumes　of　late　May；　plumes　that　hung　down　over　the　door　and　across　the　windows；　suffusing　the　interior　with　a　soft　twilight　of　green　and　brown　shadows。　A　shaft　of　sunbeams　penetrating　a　crevice　fell　on　the　white　neck　of　a　yellow　collie　that　lay　on　the　ground　with　his　head　on　his　paws；　his　eyes　fixed　reproachfully　on　the　heels　of　the　horse　outside；　his　ears　turned　back　toward　his　master。　Beside　him　a　box　had　been　kicked　over：　tools　and　shoes　scattered。　A　faint　line　of　blue　smoke　sagged　from　the　dying　coals　of　the　forge　toward　the　door；　creeping　across　the　anvil　bright　as　if　tipped　with　silver。　And　in　one　of　the　darkest　corners　of　the　shop；　near　a　bucket　of　water　in　which　floated　a　huge　brown　gourd；　Peter　and　John　sat　on　a　bench　while　the　story　of　O'Bannon's　mischief…making　was　begun　and　finished。　It　was　told　by　Peter　with　much　cordial　rubbing　of　his　elbows　in　the　palms　of　his　hands　and　much　light…hearted　smoothing　of　his　apron　over　his　knees。　At　times　a　cloud；　passing　beneath　the　sun；　threw　the　shop　into　heavier　shadow；　and　then　the　school…master's　dark　figure　faded　into　the　tone　of　the　sooty　wall　behind　him　and　only　his　face；　with　the　contrast　of　its　white　linen　collar　below　and　the　bare　discernible　lights　of　his　auburn　hair　abovehis　face；　proud；　resolute；　astounded；　pallid；　sufferingstarted　out　of　the　gloom　like　a　portrait　from　an　old　canvas。

〃And　this　is　why　you　never　came　to　see　me。〃　He　had　sprung　up　like　a　man　made　well；　and　was　holding　Peter's　hand　and　looking　reproachfully　into　his　eyes。

〃I'd　have　seen　you　dead　first；〃　cried　Peter　gaily；　giving　him　a　mighty　slap　on　the　shoulder。　〃But　wait！　O'Bannon's　not　the　only　man　who　can　play　a　joke！〃

John　hurriedly　left　the　shop　with　a　gesture　which　Peter　did　not　understand。

The　web　of　deceptive　circumstances　that　had　been　spun　about　him　had　been　brushed　away　at　last：　he　saw　the　whole　truth　nowsaw　his　own　blindness；　blundering；　folly；　injustice。

He　was　on　his　way　to　Amy　already。

When　he　had　started　out；　he　had　thought　he　should　walk　around　a　little　and　then　lie　down　again。　Now　with　his　powerful　stride　come　back　to　him；　he　had　soon　passed　the　last　house　of　the　town　and　was　nearing　the　edge　of　the　wilderness。　He　took　the　same　straight　short　course　of　the　afternoon　on　which　he　had　asked　Mrs。　Falconer's　consent　to　his　suit。　As　he　hurried　on；　it　seemed　to　him　a　long　time　since　then！　What　experiences　he　had　undergone！　What　had　he　not　suffered！　How　he　was　changed！

〃Yes；〃　he　said　over　and　over　to　himself；　putting　away　all　other　thoughts　in　a　resolve　to　think　of　this　nearest　duty　only。　〃If　I've　been　unkind　to　her；　if　I've　been　wrong；　have　I　not　suffered？〃

He　had　not　gone　far　before　his　strength　began　to　fail。　He　was　forced　to　sit　down　and　rest。　It　was　near　sundown　when　he　reached　the　clearing。

〃At　last！〃　he　said　gratefully；　with　his　old　triumphant　habit　of　carrying　out　whatever　he　undertook。　He　had　put　out　all　his　strength　to　get　there。

He　passed　the　nearest　fieldthe　peach　treesthe　gardenand　took　the　path　toward　the　house。

〃Where　shall　I　find　her？〃　he　thought。　〃Where　can　I　see　her　alone？〃

〃Between　him　and　the　house　stood　a　building　of　logs　and　plaster。　　It　was　a　single　room　used　for　the　spinning　and　the　weaving　of　which　she　had　charge。　Many　a　time　he　had　lain　on　the　great　oaken　chest　into　which　the　homespun　cloth　was　stored　while　she　sat　by　her　spinning…wheel；　many　a　talk　they　had　had　there　together；　many　a　parting；　and　many　a　Saturday　twilight　he　had　put　his　arms　around　her　there　and　turned　away　for　his　lonely　walk　to　town；　planning　their　future。　　〃If　she　should　only　be　in　the　weaving…room！〃

He　stepped　softly　to　the　door　and　looked　in。　She　was　there　standing　near　the　middle　of　the　room　with　her　face　turned　from　him。　The　work　of　the　day　was　done。　On　one　side　were　the　spinning…wheels；　farther　on　a　loom；　before　her　a　table　on　which　the　cloth　was　piled　ready　to　be　folded　away；　on　the　other　the　great　open　chest　into　which　she　was　about　to　store　it。　She　had　paused　in　revery；　her　hands　clasped　behind　her　head。

At　the　sight　of　her　and　with　the　remembrance　of　how　he　had　misjudged　and　mistreated　hermost　of　all　swept　on　by　some　lingering　flood　of　the　old　tendernesshe　stepped　forward　put　his　arms　softly　around　her；　drew　her　closely　to　him；　and　buried　his　check　against　hers：

〃Amy！〃　he　murmured；　his　voice　quivering　his　whole　body　trembling；　his　heart　knocking　against　his　ribs　like　a　stone。　She　struggled　out　of　his　arms　with　a　cry　and　recognizing　him；　drew　her　figure　up　to　its　full　height。　Her　eyes　filled　with　passion；　cold　and　resentful。

He　made　a　gesture。

〃Wait！〃　he　cried。　〃Listen。〃

He　laid　bare　everythingfrom　his　finding　of　the　bundle　to　the　evening　of　the　ball。

He　was　standing　by　the　doorway。　A　small　window　in　the　opposite　wall　of　the　low　room　opened　toward　the　West。　Through　this　a　crimson　light　fell　upon　his　face　revealing　its　pallor；　its　storm；　its　struggle　for　calmness。

She　stood　a　few　yards　off　with　her　face　in　shadow。　As　she　had　stepped　backward；　one　of　her　hands　had　struck　against　her　spinning…wheel　and　now　rested　on　it；　with　the　other　she　had　caught　the　edge　of　the　table。　From　the　spinning…wheel　a　thread　of　flax　trailed　to　the　ground；　on　the　table　lay　a　pair　of　iron　shears。

As　he　stood　looking　at　her　facing　him　thus　in　cold　half…shadowy　angerat　the　spinning　wheel　with　its　trailing　flaxat；　the　table　with　its　iron　shearsat　her　hands　stretched　forth　as　if　about　to　grasp　the　one　and　to　lay　hold　on　the　otherhe　shudderingly　thought　of　the　ancient　arbitress　of　Life　and　DeathFate　the　mighty；　the　relentless。　The　fancy　passed　and　was　succeeded　by　the　sense　of　her　youth　and　loveliness。　She　wore　a　dress　of　coarse　snow…white　homespun；　narrow　in　the　skirt　and　fitting　close　to　her　arms　and　neck　and　to　the　outlines　of　her　form。　Her　hair　was　parted　simply　over　her　low　beautiful　brow。　There　was　nowhere　a　ribbon　or　a　trifle　of　adornment：　and　in　that　primitive；　simple；　fearless　revelation　of　itself　her　figure　had　the　frankness　of　a　statue。　　　While　he　spoke　the　anger　died　out　of　her　face。　But　in　its　stead　came　something　worsehardness；　and　something　that　was　worse　stillan　expression　of　revenge。

〃If　I　was　unfeeling　with　you；〃　he　implored；　〃only　consider！　You　had　broken　your　engagement　without　giving　any　reason；　I　saw　you　at　the　party　dancing　with　Joseph；　I　believed　myself　trifled　with；　I　said　that　if　you　could　treat　in　that　way　there　was　nothing　you　could　say　that　I　cared　to　hear。　I　was　blind　to　the　truth；　I　was　blinded　by　suffering。

〃If　you　suffered；　it　was　your　own　fault；〃　she　replied；　calm　as　the　Fate　that　holds　the　shears　and　the　thread。　〃I　wanted　to　explain　to　you　why　I　broke　my　engagement　and　why　I　went　with　Joseph：　you　refused　to　allow　me。〃

〃But　before　that！　Remember　that　I　had　gone　to　see　you　the　night　before。　You　had　a　chance　to　explain　then。　But　you　did　not　explain。　Still；　I　did　not　doubt　that　your　reason　was　good。　I　did　not　ask　you　to　state　it。　But　when　I　saw　you　at　the　party　with　Joseph；　was　I　not　right；　in　thinking　that　the　time　for　an　explanation　had　passed？〃

〃No；〃　she　replied。　〃As　long　as　I　did　not　give　any　reason；　you　ought　not　to　have　asked　for　one；　but　when　I　wished　to　give　it；　you　should　have　been　ready　to　hear　it。〃　He　drew　himself　up　quickly。

〃This　is　a　poor　pitiful　misunderstanding。　I　say；　forgive　me！　We　will　let　it　pass。　I　had　thought　each　of　us　was　wrongyou　first；　I；　afterward。〃　〃I　was　not　wrong　either　first　or　last！〃

〃Think　so　if　you　must！　Only；　try　to　understand　me！　Amy；　you　know　I've　loved　you。　You　could　never　have　acted　toward　me　as　you　have；　if　you　had　not　believed　that。　And　that　nightthe　night　you　would　not　see　me　aloneI　went　to　ask　you　to　marry　me。　I　meant　to　ask　you　the　next　night。　I　am　here　to　ask　you　now！　。　。　。〃

He　told　her　of　the　necessity　that　had　kept　him　from　speaking　sooner；　of　the　recent　change　which　made　it　possible。　He　explained　how　he　had　waited　and　planned　and　had　shaped　his　whole　life　with　the　thought　that　she　would　share　it。　She　had　listened　with　greater　interest　especially　to　what　he　had　said　about　the　improvement　in　his　fortunes。　Her　head　had　dropped　slightly　forward　as　though　she　were　thinking　that　after　all　perhaps　she　had　made　a　mistake。　But　she　now　lifted　it　with　deliberateness：

〃And　what　right　had　you　to　be　so　sure　all　this　time　that　I　would　marry　you　whenever　you　asked　me？　What　right　had　you　to　take　it　for　granted　that　whenever　you　were　ready；　I　would　be？〃

The　hot　flush　of　shame　dyed　his　face　that　she　could　deal　herself　such　a　wound　and　not　even　know　it。

He　drew　himself　up　again；　sparing　her：

〃I　loved　you。　I　could　not　love　without　hoping。　I　could　not　hope　without　planning。　Hoping；　planning；　striving；everything！it　was　all　because　I　loved　you！〃　And　then　he　waited；　looking　down　on　her　in　silence。

S