the choir invisible-第20节
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dian Old Fields and saw the blue grass lands for the first time。 And when we encamped on the creek there； I named it Lulbegrud in honour of my book。 You can read it while you have nothing else to do；〃 and he astounded John by leaving in his hand Swift's story of adventures in new worlds。
He had many other visitors： the Governor； Mr。 Bradford； General Wilkinson； the leaders in the French movement； all of whom were solicitous for his welfare as a man； but also as their chosen emissary to the Jacobin Club of Philadelphia。 In truth it seemed to him that everyone in the town came sooner or later； to take a turn at his bedside or wish him well。
Except four persons： Amy did not come； nor Joseph； with whom he had quarrelled and with whom he meant to settle his difference as soon as he could get about； nor O'Bannon； whose practical joke had indirectly led to the whole trouble； nor Peter； who toiled on at his forge with his wounded vanity。
Betrothals were not kept secret in those days and engagements were short。 But as he was sick and suffering； some of those who visited him forbore to mention her name； much less to speak of the preparations now going forward for her marriage with Joseph。 Others； indeed； did begin to talk of her and to pry； but he changed the subject quickly。
And so he lay there with the old battle going on in his thoughts； never knowing that she had promised to become the wife of another： fighting it all over in his foolish； iron…minded way： some days hardening and saying he would never look her in the face again； other days softening and resolving to seek her out as soon as he grew well enough and learn whether the fault of all this quarrel lay with him or wherein lay the truth： yet in all his moods sore beset with doubts of her sincerity and at all times passing sore over his defeatdefeat that always went so hard with him。
Meantime one person was pondering his case with a solicitude that he wist not of： the Reverend James Moore； the flute…playing Episcopal parson of the town； within whose flock this marriage was to take place and who may have regarded Amy as one of his most frisky wayward fleeces。 Perhaps indeed as not wearing a white spiritual fleece at all but as dyed a sort of merino…brown in the matter of righteousness。
He had long been fond of Johnthey both being pure…minded men； religious； bookish； and bachelors； but their friendship caused one to think of the pine and the palm： for the parson； with his cold bleak face； palish straight hair put back behind white ears； and frozen smile； appeared always to be inhabiting the arctic regions of life while John； though rooted in a tropical soil of many passions； strove always to bear himself in character like a palm； up…right； clean…cut； having no low or drooping branches； and putting forth all the foliage and blossoms of the mind at the very summit of his powers。 The parson and the school…master had often walked out to the Falconers' together in the days when John imagined his suit to be faring prosperously； and from Amy's conduct； and his too slight knowledge of the sex； this arctic explorer had long since adjusted his frosted faculties to the notion that she expected to become John's wife。 He was sorry； it sent an extra chill through the icebergs of his imagination； but perhaps he gathered comforting warmth from the hope that some of John's whiteness would fall upon her and that thus from being a blackish lambkin she would at least eventually turn into a light…gray ewe。
When the tidings reached his far…inward ear that she was to marry Joseph instead of his friend； a general thaw set in over the entire landscape of his nature： it was like spring along the southern fringes of Greenland。
The error must not be inculcated here that the parson had no passions： he had three…ruling ones： a passion for music； a passion for metaphysics； and a passion for satirizing the other sex。
Dropping in one afternoon and glancing with delicate indirection at John's short shelf of books； he inquired whether he had finished with his Paley。 John said he had and the parson took it down to bear away with him。 Laying it across his stony knees as he sat down and piling his white hands on it；
〃Do you believe Paley？〃 he asked； turning upon John a pair of the most beautiful eyes； which looked a little like moss agates。
〃I believe St。 Paul；〃 replied John； turning his own eyes fondly on his open Testament。
〃Do you believe Paley？〃 insisted the parson； who would always have his questions answered directly。
〃There's a good deal of Paley： what do you mean？〃 said John； laughing evasively。
〃I mean his ground idea…the corner stone of his doctrine …his pou sto。 I mean do you believe that we can infer the existence and character of God from any evidences of design that we see in the universe 〃
〃I'm not so sure about that；〃 said John。 〃What we call the evidences of design in the universe may be merely certain laws of our own minds； certain inward necessities we are under to think of everything as having an order and a plan and a cause。 And these inner necessities may themselves rest on nothing； may be wrong； may be deceiving us。〃
〃Oh； I don't mean that！〃 said the parson。 〃We've got to believe our own minds。 We've got to do that even to disbelieve them。 If the mind says of itself it is a liar； how does it know this to be true if it is a liar itself？ No； we have to believe our own minds whether they are right or wrong。 But what I mean is： can we； according to Paley； infer the existence and character of God from anything we see？〃 〃It sounds reasonable；〃 said John。 〃Does it！ Then suppose you apply this method of reasoning to a woman： can you infer her existence from anything you see？ Can you trace the evidences of design there？ Can you derive the slightest notion of her character from her works？〃 As the parson said this； he turned upon the sick man a look of such logical triumph that John； who for days had been wearily trying to infer Amy's character from what she had done； was seized with a fit of laughterthe parson himself remaining perfectly grave。
Another day he examined John's wound tenderly； and then sat down by him with his beautiful moss…agate eyes emitting dangerous little sparkles。
〃It's a bad bite；〃 he said； 〃the bite of a catfelis concolor。 They are a bad familythese catsthe scratchers。〃 He was holding John's wounded hand。 〃So you've had your fight with a felis。 A single encounter ought to be enough！ If some one hadn't happened to step in and save you！What do you suppose is the root of the idea universal in the consciousness of our race that if a man had not been a man he'd have been a lion； and that if a woman hadn't been a woman she'd have been a tigress？ 〃
〃I don't believe there's any such idea universal in the consciousness of the race；〃 replied John； laughing。
〃It's universal in my consciousness；〃 said the parson doggedly； 〃and my consciousness is as valid as any other man's。 But I'll ask you an easier question： who of all men； do you suppose； knew most about women？〃
〃Women or Woman？〃 inquired John。
〃Women；〃 said the parson。 〃We'll drop the subject of Woman： she's beyond us！
〃I don't know；〃 observed John。 〃St。 Paul knew a good deal； and said some necessary things。〃
〃St。 Paul！〃 exclaimed the parson condescendingly。 〃He knew a few noble Jewessessuperficiallywith a scattering acquaintance among the pagan sisters around the shores of the Mediterranean。 As for what he wrote on that subjectit may have been inspired by Heaven： it never could have been inspired by the sex。〃 〃Shakspeare； I suppose；〃 said John。 〃The man in the Arabian Nights；〃 cried the parson； who may have been put in mind of this character by his own attempts to furnish daily entertainment。 〃He knew a thousand of themintimately。 And cut off the heads of nine hundred and ninety…nine！ The only reason he did not cut off the head of the other was that he had learned enough： he could not endure to know any more。 All the evidence had come in： the case was closed。〃
〃I suppose there are men in the world；〃 he continued； 〃who would find it hard to stand a single disappointment about a woman。 But think of a thousand disappointments！ A thousand attempts to find a good wifejust one woman who could furnish a man a little rational companionship at night。 Bluebeard also must have been a well…informed person。 And Henry the Eighththere was a man who had evidently picked up considerable knowledge and who made considerable use of it。 But to go back a moment to the idea of the felis family。 Suppose we do this： we'll begin to enumerate the qualities of the common house cat。 I'll think of the cat； you think of some woman； and we'll see what we come to。〃
〃I'll not do it；〃 said John。 〃She's too noble。〃
〃Just for fun！〃
〃There's no fun in comparing a woman to a cat。〃
〃There is if she doesn't know it。 Come； begin！〃 And the parson laid one long forefinger on one long little finger and waited for the first specification。 〃Fineness；〃 said John； thinking of a certain woman。
〃Fondness for a nap；〃 said the parson； thinking of a certain cat。
〃Grace；〃 said John。 〃Inability to express thanks；〃 said the parson。
〃A beautiful form；〃 said John。〃A desire to be stroked；〃 said the parson。 〃Sym
