phyllis of philistia-第6节

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red　to　assent　to　that　doctrine　which　we　now　know　to　be　the　everlasting　truth　of　the　scheme　of　earthly　life　propounded　by　the　Creator；　he　would　have　been　compelled　to　leave　the　Church。　I　do　not　know　what　will　happen　to　me；　my　Phyllis。　No；　no！　do　not　say　anything　to　me　now。　All　that　I　ask　of　you　is　to　thinkthinkthink。〃

〃That　is　itthat　is　your　modern　scientific　spirit！〃　she　cried。　〃You；　and　such　as　you；　say　'thinkthinkthink'　to　usto　poor　women　and　men　who　are　asking　for　comfort；　for　protection　against　the　evil　of　the　world。　You　say　'thinkthinkthink；'　when　you　should　say　praypray　pray。'　Where　are　you　going　to　end？　you　have　begun　by　taking　from　us　our　Bible。　What　do　you　propose　to　give　us　in　exchange　for　it？　Nono；　don't　answer　me。　I　did　not　mean　to　enter　into　the　question　with　you　to　enter　into　any　question　with　you。　I　have　no　right　to　do　so。〃

〃You　have　every　right；　Phyllis。　If　I　should　cause　offence　to　the　least　of　the　little　ones　of　the　flock　with　which　I　have　been　intrusted；　it　would　be　better　that　a　millstone　were　hanged　round　my　neck　and　that　I　were　cast　into　the　sea。　You　have　a　right　to　ask　and　it　is　laid　on　me　to　answer。〃

〃Then　I　decline　to　avail　myself　of　the　privilege；　I　will　ask　you　nothing；　except　to　say　good…by。〃

〃I　will　not　say　it；　Phyllis；　and　I　will　not　hear　you　say　it。　Three　months　ago　you　told　me　that　you　loved　me。〃

〃And　I　fancied　that　I　did；　but　now〃

〃Ah！　you　think　that　you　have　the　power　to　cease　loving　at　a　moment's　notice？　You　will　find　out　your　mistake；　my　child。　In　love　there　are　no　good…bys。　I　take　your　hand　now；　but　not　to　say　good…by；　I　feel　that　you　are　still　minethat　you　will　be　mine　more　than　ever　when　you　thinkthinkand　pray。〃

〃Ah！　You　ask　me　to　pray？〃

〃Praypray　for　me；　child。　I　need　the　prayers　of　such　as　you；　for　I　feel　that　my　hour　of　deepest　trial　is　drawing　nigh。　Do　you　fancy　that　I　am　the　man　to　take　back　anything　that　I　have　written？　Look　at　me；　Phyllis；　I　tell　you　here　that　I　will　stand　by　everything　that　I　have　written。　Whatever　comes　of　it；　the　book　remains。　Even　if　I　lose　all　that　I　have　worked　for；even　if　I　lose　you；I　will　still　say　'the　book　remains。'　I　am　ready　to　suffer　for　it。　I　say　in　all　humility　that　I　believe　God　will　give　me　grace　to　die　for　it。〃

She　had　given　him　her　hand。　He　was　still　holding　it　when　he　spoke　his　final　sentence；　looking；　not　into　her　face；　but　into　a　space　beyond　it。　His　eyes　more　than　suggested　the　eyes　of　a　martyr　waiting　undaunted　for　the　lighting　of　the　fagots。　Suddenly　he　dropped　her　hand。　He　looked　for　a　moment　into　her　face。　He　saw　that　the　tears　were　upon　it。　He　turned　and　walked　out　of　the　room　without　a　word。

No　word　came　from　her。

He　knew　that　he　had　left　her　at　exactly　the　right　moment。　She　was　undoubtedly　annoyed　by　the　publication　of　the　book；　but　that　was　because　she　had　read　some　reviews　of　it；　and　was；　girl…like；　under　the　impression　that　the　murmur　of　the　reviewers　was　the　mighty　voice　that　echoes　round　the　world。　He　felt　that　she　would　think　differently　when　his　real　persecution　began。　He　looked　forward　with　great　hope　to　the　result　of　his　real　persecution。　She　would　never　hold　out　against　that。　If　the　bishop　would　only　take　action　at　once　and　attempt　to　deprive　him　of　his　pastorate；　there　was　nothing　that　he　might　not　look　for。

And　then　he　reflected　that　on　the　following　Sunday　the　church　would　be　crowded　to　the　doors。　She　would　see　that。　She　would　see　the　thousands　of　the　fashionable　womenhe　hoped　even　for　menwho　would　fill　every　available　seat；　every　available　standing　place　in　the　church；　and　who　would　all　be　anxious　to　hear　his　defense。　That　would　show　her　that　the　publication　of　this　book　had　raised　him　far　above　the　heads　of　the　ordinary　clergyman　who　droned　away；　Sunday　after　Sunday；　in　half　empty　churches　to　congregations　that　never　became　interested。　Yes；　for　many　Sundays　St。　Chad's　would　be　crowded　to　the　doors。　And　then　he　trusted　that　the　bishop　would　take　action　against　him；　and　in　proportion　to　the　severity　of　his　persecution　on　the　one　hand　would　be　his　popularity　on　the　other　hand。

All　this　would；　he　felt；　advance　the　cause　which　he　had　at　heart；　for　he　was　thoroughly　sincere　in　his　belief　that　the　views　which　he　advocated　in　〃Revised　Versions〃　were　calculated　to　place　the　Church　on　a　firmer　basis；　and　to　cause　it　to　appeal　to　those　persons　who；　having　been　inculcated　with　the　spirit　of　modern　scientific　inquiry；　never　entered　a　church　porch。

He　had　not　been　guilty　of　an　empty　boast　when　he　had　expressed　to　her　his　readiness　to　die　for　the　principles　which　he　had　enunciated　with　considerable　clearness　in　his　book；　but；　at　the　same　time；　when　he　was　walking　down　Piccadilly　he　could　not　avoid　the　feeling　that　if　he　were　only　subjected　to　a　vigorous　persecutiona　high…class　persecution；　of　course；　with　the　bishop　at　the　head　of　it；　he　would　be　almost　certain　to　win　back　Phyllis。　Her　desertion　of　him　was　undoubtedly　a　blow　to　him；　but　he　thought　that；　after　all；　it　was　not　unnatural　that　such　as　girl　as　she　should　be　somewhat　frightened　at　the　boldness　of　the　book　which　he　had　published。　He　had　seen　the　day；　not　so　very　long　ago；　when　he　would　have　been　frightened　at　it　himself。　At　any　rate　he　felt　sure　that　Phyllis　would　be　able　to　differentiate　between　the　case　of　the　author　of　〃Revised　Versions〃　and　the　case　of　the　mediocre　clergyman　who　defied　his　bishop　on　a　question　ofwhat　was　the　question？something　concerning　the　twirling　of　his　thumbs　from　east　to　west；　instead　of　from　west　to　east；　yes；　or　an　equally　trivial　matter。　He　trusted　that　she　was　too　discriminating　a　girl　to　bracket　him　with　that　wretched；　shallow…minded　person　who　endeavored　to　pose　as　a　martyr；　because　he　would　not　be　permitted　to　do　whatever　he　tried　to　insist　on　doing。　Mr。　Holland　thought　it　had　something　to　say　to　the　twirling　of　his　thumbs　at　a　certain　part　of　the　service　for　the　day；　but　if　anyone　had　said　that　his　memory　was　at　faultthat　the　contumacious　curate　only　wanted　to　make　some　gestures　at　the　psychological；　or；　perhaps；　the　spiritual；　moment；　he　would　not　have　been　surprised。　He　had　always　thought　that　curate　a　very　silly　person。　He　thanked　his　God　that　he　was　not　such　a　man；　and　he　thought　that　he　might　trust　Phyllis　to　understand　the　difference　between　the　position　which　he　assumed　and　the　posturing　of　the　silly　curate。

His　knowledge　of　her　powers　of　discrimination　was　not　at　fault。　Phyllis　never　for　a　moment　thought　of　him　as　posturing。　She　did　him　more　than　justice。　She　regarded　him　as　terribly　in　earnest；　no　man　unless　one　who　was　terribly　in　earnest　could　have　written　that　booka　book　which　she　felt　was　bound　to　alienate　from　him　all　the　people　who　had　previously　honored　him　and　delighted　to　listen　to　his　preaching。　Someone　had　said　in　her　hearing　that　the　preaching　of　George　Holland　was；　compared　to　the　preaching　of　the　average　clergyman；　as　the　electric　light　is　to　the　gasthe　gas　of　a　street　lamp。　She　had　flushed　with　pleasure；that　had　been　six　months　ago；when　it　first　occurred　to　her　that　to　be　the　wife　of　a　distinguished　clergyman；　who　was　also　a　scholar；　was　the　highest　vocation　to　which　a　woman　could　aspire。　She　had　told　her　father　of　this　testimony　to　the　ability　of　the　rector　of　St。　Chad'spride　had　been　in　her　voice　and　eyes。

〃The　man　who　said　that　was　a　true　critic；〃　her　father　had　remarked。　〃Electric　light？　Quite　so。　In　the　absence　of　sunlight　the　electric　light　does　extremely　well　for　the　requirements　of　the　average　man　and　woman。　Your　critic　said　nothing　about　volts？〃

That　was　how　her　father　became　irritating　to　her　occasionallyleading　up　to　some　phrase　which　he　had　in　his　collection　of　bric…a…brac。　〃Volts！〃

Yes；　she　felt　that　the　sincerity　of　George　Holland　would　alienate　from　him　all　the　people　who　had　previously　held　him　in　high　esteem。　Although　she　was　a　daughter　of　Philistia；　it　had　never　occurred　to　her　that　there　is　such　a　thing　as　a　/succes　scandale/；　and　that　the　effect　of　such　an　incident　in　connection　with　the　rector　of　a　fashionable　church　rarely　leads　to　his　isolation。

She　did　George　Holland　more　than　justice；　for　she　could　not　conceive　his　looking　forward　to　a　crowded　and　interested　attendance　at　his　church　on　the　following　Sunday　and　perhaps　many　successive　Sundays。　She　could　not　conceive　his　thinking　what　effect　the　noticing　of　such　an　attendance　would　have　upon　her。　To　her；　as　to　most　girls；　the　heroic　man　is　all　heroic。　The　picture　of　the　Duke　of　Marlborough　taking　a　list　of　the　linen　to　be　sent　to　the　wash　while　his　troops　were　getting　into　position　for　a　great　battle　is　one　from　which　they　turn　away。　She　could　not　think　of　George　Holland's　calculating　upon　the　effect　of　a　crowded　church；　with　newspaper　reporters　scattered　throughout　the　building；　taking　down　every　word　that　might　fall　from　his　lips。　She　regarded　him　as　a　man　who　had　been　compelled；　by　the　insidious　influence　of　what　he　called　scientific　thought；　to　write　a　shocking　book；　but　one　that　he　certainly　believed　was　destined　to　effect　a　great　reform　in　the　world。　Her　eyes　had　filled　with　tears　as　he　stood　before　her　with　the　gleam　of　martyrdom　in　his　eyes；　and　for　an　instant　she　felt　a　woman's　impulsethat　was　a　factor　which　George　Holland　had　taken　into　consideration　before　he　had　spokento　give　both　her　hand