phyllis of philistia-第41节

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In　a　few　minutes　he　was　in　his　hansom　once　more。



CHAPTER　XXIX。

I　KNOW　THAT　IT　DOESN'T　MATTER　MUCH　TO　GOD　WHAT　A　MAN　THINKS　ABOUT　HIMSELF　OR　HIS　SOUL。

For　the　next　hour　and　a　half　the　Rev。　George　Holland　had　an　opportunity　of　considering　his　position　as　a　clergyman　of　the　Church　of　England；　and　as　one　whose　chief　desire　was　to　advance　the　interests　of　the　Church。　His　bishop　had　assumed　that　he　had　been　single…minded　in　his　aimsthat　his　sole　object　in　writing　that　book　and　that　paper　had　been　to　cure　the　complaint　from　which　the　old　Church　was　suffering。　His　lordship　had　done　him　justice　where　Phyllis　had　done　him　a　gross　injustice。　What　would　Phyllis　have　said　he　wondered；　if　she　had　heard　that　concession；　made　not　under　pressure；　but　voluntarily　by　probably　the　highest　authority　in　the　world；　to　his；　George　Holland's；　singleness　of　aim？

But　it　was　so　like　a　girl　to　jump　at　conclusionsto　assume　that　he　had　been　actuated　by　vanity　in　all　that　he　had　just　done；　that　he　was　desirous　only　of　getting　people　to　talk　about　himbeing　regardless　whether　they　spoke　well　of　him　or　ill。　He　only　wished　that　she　could　have　heard　the　bishop。　He　felt　as　a　man　feels　whose　character　has　just　been　cleared　in　a　court　of　law　from　an　aspersion　that　has　rested　on　it　for　some　time。　He　wondered　if　that　truly　noble　man　whom　he　was　privileged　to　call　his　Father　in　God；　would　have　any　objection　to　give　him　a　testimonial　to　the　effect　that　in　his　opinion；the　opinion　of　his　Father　in　God；there　was　no　foundation　for　the　accusation　against　him　and　his　singleness　of　aim。

But　the　bishop　knew　that　it　was　not　vanity　which　had　urged　him　to　write　what　he　had　written。　The　bishop　understood　men。

He　was　right；　the　bishop　understood　men　so　well　as　to　be　able　to　produce　in　a　few　words　upon　the　man　who　had　just　visited　the　palace；　the　impression　that　he　believed　that　that　man　had　been　impelled　by　a　strong　sense　of　duty　without　a　touch　of　vanity。　He　understood　man　so　well　as　to　cause　that　same　visitor　of　his　to　make　a　resolution　never　again　to　publish　anything　in　the　same　strain　as　the　/Zeit　Geist/　article；　without　first　consulting　with　the　bishop。　George　Holland　had　pulled　the　bell　at　the　palace　gates　with　the　hand　of　a　Luther；　but　he　had　left　the　presence　of　the　bishop　with　the　step　of　a　Francis　of　Assisi。　He　felt　that　anyone　who　would　voluntarily　give　pain　to　so　gentle　a　man　as　the　bishop　could　only　be　a　brute。　He　even　felt　that　the　bishop　had　shown　himself　to　be　his；　George　Holland's　superior　in　judgment　and　in　the　methods　which　he　employed。　The　bishop　was　not　an　overrated　man。

For　a　full　hour　in　the　silence　and　solitude　of　the　reading　room　of　his　club　he　reflected　upon　the　excellence　of　the　bishop；　and　it　was　with　a　sign　of　regret　that　he　rose　to　keep　his　other　appointment。　He　would　have　liked　to　continue　for　another　hour　or　two　doing　justice　to　that　good　man　out　of　whose　presence　he　had　come。

Mr。　Linton's　office　was　not　quite　in　the　City。　Twenty　minutes　drive　brought　George　Holland　into　the　private　room　of　Ella　Linton's　husband。

〃It　is　very　good　of　you　to　come　to　me；　Mr。　Holland；〃　said　Stephen。　〃There　seems　to　be　a　general　idea　that　a　clergyman　should　be　at　the　beck　and　call　of　everyone　who　has　a　whim　towhat　do　they　call　it　in　Irelandto　make　his　soul？　That　has　never　been　my　opinion；　I　have　never　given　any　trouble　to　a　clergyman　since　I　was　at　school。〃

〃It　is　the　privilege　of　a　minister　to　be　a　servant；〃　said　the　Rev。　George　Holland。

〃We　were　taught　that　at　schoolin　connection　with　the　Latin　verb　/ministro/；〃　said　Mr。　Linton。　〃Well；　Mr。　Holland；　I　am　glad　that　you　take　such　a　view　of　your　calling；　for　I　am　anxious　that　you　should　do　me　a　great　service。〃

He　paused。

George　Holland　bent　his　head。　He　wondered　if　Mr。　Linton　wished　to　intrust　him　with　the　duty　of　observing　his　wife。

〃The　fact　is；　Mr。　Holland；〃　resumed　Stephen　Linton；　〃I　have　read　your　book　and　your　paper　in　that　review。　The　way　you　deal　with　a　difficult　question　has　filled　me　with　admiration。　You　will；　I　need　scarcely　say；　be　outside　the　Church　before　long。〃

〃I　cannot　allow　you　to　assume　that；　Mr。　Linton；〃　said　George　gravely。　〃I　should　be　sorry　to　leave　the　Church。　I　cannot　see　that　my　leaving　it　is　the　logical　sequence　of　anything　that　I　have　yet　written。　My　aim　is；　as　doubtless　you　have　perceived；　to　bring　about　such　reasonable　and；　after　all；　not　radical　changes　in　the　Church　system　as　shall　make　her　in　the　future　a　more　potent　agency　for　good　than　she　has　ever　yet　been；　splendid　though　her　services　to　humanity　have　been。〃

〃Still　you　will　find　yourself　outside　the　walls　of　your　Church；　Mr。　Holland。　And　you　will　probably　adopt　the　course　which　other　sons　of　the　Church　have　thought　necessary　to　pursue　when　the　stubborn　old　thing　refused　to　be　reformed。〃

〃If　you　suggest　that　I　shall　become　a　Dissenter；　Mr。　Linton〃

〃I　suggest　nothing　of　the　sort；　though　you　dissent　already　from　a　good　many　of　the　fundamental　practices　of　the　Church；　if　I　may　be　permitted　the　expression。　Now；　I　should　like　to　make　a　provision　for　your　future；　Mr。　Holland。〃

〃My　dear　sir；　such　a　proposition　seems　to　me　to　be　a　most　extraordinary　one。　I　hope　you　will　not　think　me　rude　in　saying　so　much。　I　have　not　suggested；　Mr。　Linton；　as　other　clergymen　might；　that　you　mean　an　affront　to　me；　but　I　don't　think　that　anything　would　be　gained　by　prolonging〃

〃Permit　me　to　continue；　and　perhaps　you　may　get　a　glimmer　of　gain。　Mr。　Holland；　I　am　what　people　usually　term　a　doomed　man。　So　far　as　I　can　gather　I　have　only　about　six　months　longer　to　live。〃

〃Merciful　Heaven！〃

〃Perhaps　it　is　merciful　on　the　part　of　Heaven　to　destroy　a　man　when　he　has　reached　the　age　of　forty。　We'll　not　go　into　that　question　just　now。　I　was　warned　by　a　doctor　two　years　ago　that　I　had　not　long　to　live。　It　appears　that　my　heart　was　never　really　a　heartthat　is　to　say；　it　may　have　had　its　affections；　its　emotions；　its　passions；　but　pneumatically　it　is　a　failure；　it　was　never　a　blood…pump。　Six　months　ago　I　was　examined　by　the　greatest　authority　in　Europe；　and　he　pronounced　my　doom。　Three　days　ago　I　went　to　the　leading　specialist　in　London；　and　he　told　me　I　might　with　care　live　six　months　longer。〃

〃My　dear　Mr。　Linton；　with　what　words　can　I　express　to　you　my　deep　feeling　for　you？〃

George　Holland　spoke　after　a　prolonged　pause；　during　which　he　stared　at　the　white…faced　man　before　him。　A　smile　was　upon　that　white　face。　George　was　deeply　affected。　He　seemed　to　have　stepped　out　of　a　world　of　visionsa　world　that　had　a　visionary　Church；　visionary　preachers；　visionary　doctrinesall　unsubstantial　as　words；　which　are　but　breath　into　a　world　of　realitiessuch　realities　as　life　and　death　and　Ah；　there　were　no　other　realities　in　existence　but　the　two：　life　and　death。

And　Mr。　Linton　continued　smiling。

〃You　may　gather　that　I　wrote　to　you　in　order　that　you　may　help　me　to　make　my　soul。　What　a　capital　phrase！　I　didn't　do　that；　Mr。　Holland。　I　have　never　been　sanguine　about　man　and　his　soul。　I　know　that　it　doesn't　matter　much　to　God　what　a　man　thinks　about　himself　or　his　soul。　It　really　doesn't　matter　much　whether　he　believes　or　not　that　he　has　a　soul：　God　is　the　Principle　of　Rightthe　Fountain　of　Justice；　and　I'm　willing　to　trust　myself　to　God。〃

〃That　is　true　religion；　Mr。　Linton；〃　said　the　clergyman。

〃But　I　agree　with　those　people　who　think　that　the　world　cannot　get　on　without　a　Church。　Now；　I　am　sanguine　enough　to　believe　that　a　Church　founded　on　your　ideas　of　what　is　orthodox　would　be　the　means　of　doing　a　great　deal　of　good。　It　would　do　a　great　deal　of　good　to　my　wife；　to　start　with。　She　does　not　know　that　she　is　so　soon　to　be　a　widow。　Were　she　to　know；　the　last　months　of　my　life　would　be　miserable　to　both　of　us。　I　have　noticed　with　some　pain；　or　should　I　say　amusement？　perhaps　that　word　would　be　the　betterI　have　noticed；　I　say；　that　her　life　is　one　of　complete　aimlessness；　and　that；　therefore；　she　is　tempted　to　think　too　much　about　herself。　She　is　also　tempted　to　have　longings　for　well；　for　temptation。　Ah；　she　is　a　woman　and　temptation　is　in　the　way　of　women。　/Qui　parle　d'amour；　fait　l'amour/：　temptation　comes　to　the　woman　who　thinks　about　being　tempted。　Now；　I　want　to　give　her　something　to　think　about　that　shall　lead　her　out　of　the　thoughts　of　temptation　which　I　suppose　come　naturally　to　a　daughter　of　Evethe　first　woman　who　thought　about　temptation　and　was　therefore　tempted。　My　wife　is　a　perfectly　good　woman；　and　you　will　be　surprised　to　find　out　when　I　am　dead　how　fond　of　me　she　wasshe　will　be　the　most　surprised　of　all。　But　she　is　a　woman。　If　she　were　not　so　much　of　a　woman　I　don't　suppose　I　should　ever　have　cared　so　much　for　her　as　I　do。　I　cared　so　much　for　her；　Mr。　Holland；　that　I　remained　away　from　her　in　Paris　for　three　months　so　that　I　might　school　myself　to　my　fate；　making　no　sign　that　would　lead　her　to　suspect　the　truth。　Why　should　she　have　six　months'　additional　misery？　I　have　strayed。　The　Church。　I　want　to　give　my　wife　an　aim　in　life；　to　make　her　feel　that　she　is　doing　something　worthyto　keep　her　from　thinking　of　less　worthy　things。　Now；　I　think　you　will　agree　with　me　that　there　is　nothing　women　are　really　so　fond　of　as　a　Church　of　some　sort。　To　be　devout　is　as　much　a　part　of　a　woman's　disposition　as　to　lovethe　pas