phyllis of philistia-第24节

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ld　still　thank　God　for　having　given　him　an　hour　of　life。

That　was　what　he　saidall。　It　expressed　pretty　well　what　he　felt　he　should　feel。　That　reference　to　God　she　would；　of　course；　understand。　God　was　to　him　a　Figure　of　Speech。　He　had　said　as　much　to　Phyllis　Ayrton。　But　then　he　had　said　that　he　had　regarded　God　to　mean　the　Power　by　which　men　were　able　（sometimes）　successfully　to　combat　the　influences　of　nature。　But　had　he　not　just　then　made　up　his　mind　to　yield　to　that　passion　which　God；　as　a　Principle；　has　the　greatest　difficulty　in　opposing？　Why；　then；　should　he　expect　that　Ella　would　understand　precisely　what　he　meant　in　saying　that　he　would　thank　God　for　his　hour　of　life；　his　hour　of　love？

He　would　have　had　considerable　difficulty　in　explaining　this　apparent　discrepancy　between　his　scheme　of　philosophy　and　his　life　as　a　man；　had　Phyllis　asked　him　to　do　so；　and　Phyllis　would　certainly　have　asked　him　to　do　so　had　she　become　acquainted　with　the　contents　of　his　letter　to　her　friend　Ella；　though　Phyllis'　father；　having　acquired　some　knowledge　of　men　as　well　as　of　phrases；　would　not　have　asked　for　any　explanation；　knowing　that　a　man's　philosophy　is；　in　its　relation　to　a　man's　life；　a　good　deal　less　important　than　the　fuse　is　to　a　bomb。　He　would　have　known　that　a　scheme　of　philosophy　no　more　brings　wisdom　into　a　man's　life　than　a　telescope　brings　the　moon　nearer　to　the　earth。　He　would　have　known　that　for　a　man　to　build　up　a　doctrine　of　philosophy　around　himself；　hoping　that　the　devil　will　keep　on　the　other　side　of　the　paling；　is　as　ridiculous　as　it　is　to　raise　a　stockade　of　roses　against　a　tiger。

Herbert　Courtland；　however；　thought　neither　of　philosophical　consistency　nor　of　the　advantages　of　having　on　one's　side　a　sound　Principle。　He　thought　of　the　stockade　of　roses；　not　to　keep　out　the　beast　but　to　keep　love　in。　They　would　live　together　in　the　midst　of　roses　forever；　and　though　each　might　possibly　lose　something　by　the　transaction；　yet　what　they　might　lose　was　nothing　compared　to　what　they　should　certainly　win。　Of　that　he　was　certain；　and　therefore　he　posted　his　impassioned　line　with　a　light　heart。

That　was　on　Tuesday。　He　had　still　two　days　that　he　might　employ　thinking　over　the　enterprise　to　which　he　was　committed；　and　he　certainly　made　the　most　of　his　time　in　this　direction。　Now　and　again；　as　he　thought　of　what　was　in　store　for　himfor　herhe　felt　as　if　he　were　lifted　off　the　earth；　and　at　other　times　he　felt　that　he　was　crushed　into　the　earthcrushed　into　it　until　he　had　become　incapable　of　any　thought　that　was　not　of　the　earth；　earthy。　At　such　moments　he　felt　inclined　to　walk　down　to　the　docks　and　step　aboard　the　first　vessel　that　was　sailing　eastward　or　westward　or　northward　or　southward。　Then　it　was　that　he　found　but　the　scantiest　comfort　in　the　consideration　of　the　loveliness　of　love。　Glorifying　life！　No；　corrupting　life　until　life　is　more　putrid　than　death。

That　was　what　love　wassomething　to　fly　from。　But　still　he　did　not　fly　from　the　vision　that　came　to　him　when　he　found　himself　alone　after　spending　the　evenings　in　brilliant　companya　vision　of　the　lovely　woman　who　was　waiting　for　him！　What　had　she　said？　Her　soulher　soul　would　be　lost　forevermore？

Well；　that　showed　that　she　was　a　woman；　at　any　rate；　and　he　loved　her　all　the　better　for　her　womanliness。　He　knew　very　well　that　if　God　is　a　Figure　of　Speech　with　men；　the　losing　of　a　soul　is　a　figure　of　speech　with　women。　The　expression　means　only　that　they　have　lost　the　chance　of　drinking　a　number　of　cups　of　tea　in　drawing　rooms　whose　doors　are　now　shut　to　them。　That　was　what　Ella　meant；　no　doubt。　If　she　were　openly　to　set　at　defiance　certain　of　those　laws　by　the　aid　of　which　society　was　kept　together　with　a　moderate　degree　of　consistency；　she　would　be　treated　as　an　outlaw。

After　all；　such　a　fate　was　not　without　its　bright　side。　Some　happiness　may　remain　to　human　beings　in　that　world　which　is　on　the　hither　side　of　London　drawing　rooms；　and　it　would　be　his　aim　in　life　to　see　that　she　had　all　the　happiness　that　the　world　could　give　her。

Pah！　He　felt　his　sentiment　becoming　a　trifle　brackish。　He　loved　her；　and　she　loved　him。　That　was　more　than　all　the　laws　and　the　profits　of　society　to　them。　That　was　the　beginning　and　the　end　of　the　whole　matterthe　origin　of　the　sin　（people　called　it　a　sin）　and　the　exculpation　of　the　sinners。　There　was　nothing　more　to　be　said　or　thought　about　the　matter。　Those　who　loved　would　understand。　Those　who　did　not　understand　would　condemn；　and　the　existence　of　either　class　was　of　no　earthly　importance　to　himself　or　to　Ella。

When　he　awoke　on　the　Thursday　morning　the　feeling　of　exultation　of　which　he　was　conscious　was　not　without　a　note　of　depression。　So　it　had　been　when　the　object　of　his　explorations　in　New　Guinea　had　been　attained；　and　he　looked　down　at　that　exquisite　thingthat　dead　splendor　at　his　feet。

He　wondered　if　the　attainment　of　every　great　object　which　a　man　may　have　in　life　brings　about　a　feeling　of　sadness　that　almost　neutralizes　the　exultation。　As　he　picked　up　his　letters　he　had　a　fear　that　among　them　there　might　be　one　from　Ella；　telling　him　that　she　had　come　to　the　conclusion　that　she　had　written　too　hastily　those　lines　which　he　had　received　on　Tuesdaythat；　on　consideration；　she　was　unwilling　to　lose　her　soul　for　love　of　him。

No　such　letter；　however；　was　among　his　correspondence。　（Could　it　be　possible　that　he　was　disappointed　on　account　of　this？）　He　received　an　intimation　from　Berlin　of　the　conferring　of　an　order　upon　him　in　recognition　of　his　exploration　of　a　territory　in　which　Germany　was　so　greatly　interested。　He　received　an　intimation　from　Vienna　that　a　gold　medal　had　been　voted　to　him　by　one　of　the　learned　societies　in　recognition　of　his　contributions　to　biological　science。　He　received　an　intimation　from　his　publishers　that　they　had　just　gone　to　press　with　another　thousand　（the　twelfth）　of　his　book；　and　he　received　thirteen　cards　of　invitation　to　various　functions　to　take　place　in　from　three　to　six　weeks'　time；　but　no　line　did　he　receive　from　Ella。

She　was　his　forever　and　ever；　whether　her　soul　would　be　lost　or　saved　in　consequence。

He　rather　thought　that　it　would　be　lost；　but　that　did　not　matter。　She　was　his　forever　and　ever。



CHAPTER　XVIII。

HERBERT　COURTLAND　IS　A　MAN　WHO　HAS　LIVED　WITH　HONOR。

It　was　a　long　day。

Toward　evening　he　recollected　that　he　had　to　leave　cards　upon　his　host　and　hostess　of　the　Monday　previous；　but　it　was　past　six　o'clock　when　he　found　himself　at　the　top　of　the　steps　of　Mr。　Ayrton's　house。　Before　his　ring　had　been　responded　to　a　victoria　drove　up　with　Phyllis；　and　in　a　moment　she　was　on　the　step　beside　him。

She　looked　radiant　in　the　costume　which　she　was　wearing。　He　thought　he　had　never　seen　a　lovelier　girlhe　was　certain　that　he　had　never　seen　a　better…dressed　girl。　（Mr。　Courtland　was　not　clever　enough　to　know　that　it　is　only　the　beautiful　girls　who　seem　well　dressed　in　the　eyes　of　men。）　There　was　a　certain　frankness　in　her　face　that　made　it　very　interestingthe　frankness　of　a　child　who　looks　into　the　face　of　the　world　and　wonders　at　its　reticence。　He　felt　her　soft　gray　eyes　resting　upon　his　face；　as　she　shook　hands　with　him　and　begged　him　to　go　in　and　have　tea　with　her。　He　felt　strangely　uneasy　under　her　eyes　this　evening；　and　his　self…possession　failed　him　so　far　as　to　make　it　impossible　for　him　to　excuse　himself。　It　did　not　occur　to　him　to　say　that　he　could　not　drink　tea　with　her　on　account　of　having　an　appointment　which　he　could　not　break　through　without　the　most　deplorable　results。　He　felt　himself　led　by　her　into　one　of　her　drawing　rooms；　and　sitting　with　his　back　to　the　window　while　her　frank　eyes　remained　on　his　face；　asking　（so　he　thought）　for　the　nearest　approach　to　their　frankness　in　response；　that　a　man　who　has　lived　in　the　world　of　men　dare　offer　to　a　maiden　whose　world　is　within　herself。

〃Oh；　yes！　I　got　the　usual　notification　of　the　Order　of　the　Bald　Eagle；〃　said　he；　in　reply　to　her　inquiry。　〃I　shall　wear　it　next　my　heart　until　I　die。　The　newspapers　announced　the　honor　that　had　been　done　to　me　the　same　morning。〃

〃You　cannot　keep　anything　out　of　the　papers；〃　said　Phyllis。

〃Even　if　you　want　toa　condition　which　doesn't　apply　to　my　case；〃　said　he。　〃My　publishers　admitted　to　me　last　week　that　they　wouldn't　rest　easy　if　any　newspaper　appeared　during　the　next　month　without　my　name　being　in　its　columns　in　some　place。〃

〃I'm　sure　they　were　delighted　at　the　development　of　the　/Spiritual　Aneroid's/　attack　upon　you；〃　said　Phyllis。

〃They　told　me　I　was　a　made　man；〃　said　he。

She　threw　back　her　headit　was　her　wayand　laughed。　Her　laughter　all　the　grace　of　girlhood　was　in　its　ring；　it　was　girlhood　made　audiblewas　lightening　her　fair　face　as　she　looked　at　him。

〃How　funny！〃　she　cried。　〃You　fight　your　way　through　the　New　Guinea　forests；　you　are　in　daily　peril　of　your　life；　you　open　up　a　new　country；　and　yet　you　are　not　a　made　man　until　you　are　attacked　by　a　wretched　newspaper。〃

〃That　is　the　standpoint　of　the　people　who　sell　books；　so　you　may　depend　upon　its　being　the　standpoint　of　the　people　who　buy　books；〃　said　he。

〃I　can　quite　believe　it；〃　said　she。　〃Mr。　Geraint；　the　novelist；　took　me　down　to　dinner　at　Mrs。　Lemuel's　last　night；　and　he　told　me　that　the