the lost road-第66节
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felt that for the present to continue might lose him the chance to
fight again。 But; to deliver an ultimatum; he turned back。
〃As long as you are alive; and I am alive;〃 he told her; 〃all
things are possible。 I don't give up hope。 I don't give up you。〃
The girl exclaimed with a gesture of despair。 〃He won't understand!〃
she cried。
Hemingway advanced eagerly。
〃Help me to understand;〃 he begged。
〃You won't understand;〃 explained the girl; 〃that I am speaking
the truth。 You are right that things can change in the future;
but nothing can change the past。 Can't you understand that?〃
〃What do I care for the past?〃 cried the young man scornfully。 〃I
know you as well as though I had known you for a thousand years
and I love you。〃
The girl flushed crimson。
〃Not my past;〃 she gasped。 〃I meant〃
〃I don't care what you meant;〃 said Hemingway。 〃I'm not prying
into your little secrets。 I know only one thingtwo things; that
I love you and that; until you love me; I am going to make your
life hell!〃
He caught at her hands; and for an instant she let him clasp them
in both of his; while she looked at him。
Something in her face; other than distress and pity; caused his
heart to leap。 But he was too wise to speak; and; that she might
not read the hope in his eyes; turned quickly and left her。 He
had not crossed the grounds of the agency before he had made up
his mind as to the reason for her repelling him。
〃She is engaged to Fearing!〃 he told himself。 〃She has promised
to marry Fearing! She thinks that it is too late to consider another
man!〃 The prospect of a fight for the woman he loved thrilled him
greatly。 His lower jaw set pugnaciously。
〃I'll show her it's not too late;〃 he promised himself。 〃I'll show her
which of us is the man to make her happy。 And; if I am not the
man; I'll take the first outbound steamer and trouble them no more。
But before that happens;〃 he also promised himself; 〃Fearing must
show he is the better man。〃
In spite of his brave words; in spite of his determination; within the
day Hemingway had withdrawn in favor of his rival; and; on the
Crown Prince Eitel; bound for Genoa and New York; had booked his
passage home。
On the afternoon of the same day he had spoken to Polly Adair;
Hemingway at the sunset hour betook himself to the consulate。 At
that hour it had become his custom to visit his fellow countryman
and with him share the gossip of the day and such a cocktail as
only a fellow countryman could compose。 Later he was to dine at
the house of the Ivory Company and; as his heart never ceased
telling him; Mrs。 Adair also was to be present。
〃It will be a very pleasant party;〃 said Harris。 〃They gave me a
bid; too; but it's steamer day to…morrow; and I've got to get my
mail ready for the Crown Prince Eitel。 Mrs。 Adair is to be
there。〃
Hemingway nodded; and with pleasant anticipation waited。 Of Mrs。
Adair; Harris always spoke with reverent enthusiasm; and the man
who loved her delighted to listen。 But this time Harris disappointed
him。
〃And Fearing; too;〃 he added。
Again Hemingway nodded。 The conjunction of the two names surprised
him; but he made no sign。 Loquacious as he knew Harris to be; he never
before had heard his friend even suggest the subject that to Zanzibar
had become of acute interest。
Harris filled the two glasses; and began to pace the room。 When
he spoke it was in the aggrieved tone of one who feels himself
placed in a false position。
〃There's no one;〃 he complained suddenly; 〃so popularly unpopular
as the man who butts in。 I know that; but still I've always taken his
side。 I've always been for him。〃 He halted; straddling with legs
apart and hands deep in his trousers pockets; and frowned down
upon his guest。
〃Suppose;〃 he began aggressively; 〃I see a man driving his car
over a cliff。 If I tell him that road will take him over a cliff;
the worst that can happen to me is to be told to mind my own
business; and I can always answer back: 'I was only trying to
help you。' If I don't speak; the man breaks his neck。 Between
the two; it seems to me; sooner than have any one's life on my
hands; I'd rather be told to mind my own business。〃
Hemingway stared into his glass。 His expression was distinctly
disapproving; but; undismayed; the consul continued。
〃Now; we all know that this morning you gave that polo pony
to Lady Firth; and one of us guesses that you first offered it to
some one else; who refused it。 One of us thinks that very soon;
to…morrow; or even to…night; at this party you may offer that
same person something else; something worth more than a polo
pony; and that if she refuses that; it is going to break you all
up; is going to hurt you for the rest of your life。〃
Lifting his eyes from his glass; Hemingway shot at his friend a
glance of warning。 In haste; Harris continued:
〃I know;〃 he protested; answering the look; 〃I know that this is
where Mr。 Buttinsky is told to mind his business。 But I'm going
right on。 I'm going to state a hypothetical case with no names
mentioned and no questions asked; or answered。 I'm going to
state a theory; and let you draw your own deductions。〃
He slid into a chair; and across the table fastened his eyes on those
of his friend。 Confidently and undisturbed; but with a wry smile
of dislike; Hemingway stared fixedly back at him。
〃What;〃 demanded Harris; 〃is the first rule in detective work?〃
Hemingway started。 He was prepared for something unpleasant; but
not for that particular form of unpleasantness。 But his faith was
unshaken; and he smiled confidently。 He let the consul answer his
own question。
〃It is to follow the woman;〃 declared Harris。 〃And; accordingly;
what should be the first precaution of a man making his get…away?
To see that the woman does not follow。 But suppose we are dealing
with a fugitive of especial intelligence; with a criminal who has
imagination and brains? He might fix it so that the woman could
follow him without giving him away; he might plan it so that no one
would suspect。 She might arrive at his hiding…place only after many
months; only after each had made separately a long circuit of the
globe; only after a journey with a plausible and legitimate object。
She would arrive disguised in every way; and they would meet as
total strangers。 And; as strangers under the eyes of others; they
would become acquainted; would gradually grow more friendly;
would be seen more frequently together; until at last people would
say: 'Those two mean to make a match of it。' And then; one day;
openly; in the sight of all men; with the aid of the law and the
church; they would resume those relations that existed before the
man ran away and the woman followed。〃
There was a short silence。
Hemingway broke it in a tone that would accept no denial。
〃You can't talk like that to me;〃 he cried。 〃What do you mean?〃
Without resentment; the consul regarded him with grave solicitude。
His look was one of real affection; and; although his tone held the
absolute finality of the family physician who delivers a sentence
of death; he spoke with gentleness and regret。
〃I mean;〃 he said; 〃that Mrs。 Adair is not a widow; that the man
she speaks of as her late husband is not dead; that that man is
Fearing!〃
Hemingway felt afraid。 A month before a rhinoceros had charged
him and had dropped at his feet。 At another time a wounded lioness
had leaped into his path and crouched to spring。 Then he had not
been afraid。 Then he had aimed as confidently as though he were
firing at a straw target。 But now he felt real fear: fear of something
he did not comprehend; of a situation he could not master; of an
adversary as strong as Fate。 By a word something had been snatched
from him that he now knew was as dear to him as life; that was life;
that was what made it worth continuing。 And he could do nothing
to prevent it; he could not help himself。 He was as impotent as the
prisoner who hears the judge banish him into exile。 He tried to adjust
his mind to the calamity。 But his mind refused。 As easily as with his
finger a man can block the swing of a pendulum and halt the progress
of the clock; Harris with a word had brought the entire world to a full
stop。
And then; above his head; Hemingway heard the lazy whisper of the
punka; and from the harbor the raucous whistle of the Crown Prince
Eitel; signalling her entrance。 The world had not stopped; for the
punka…boy; for the captain of the German steamer; for Harris seated
with face averted; the world was still going gayly and busily forward。
Only for him had it stopped。
In spite of the confident tone in which Harris had spoken; in spite of
the fact that unless he knew it was the truth; he would not have spoken;
Hemingway tried to urge himself to believe there had been some
hideous; absurd error。 But in answer came back to him snatches
of talk or phrases the girl had last addressed to him: 〃You can
command the future; but you cannot change the past。 I cannot
marry you; or any one! I am not free!〃
And then to comfort himself; he called up the look he had surprised
in her eyes when he stoo