the vicar of wakefield-第25节
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as thine。'
'Indeed； Sir；' replied she； 'he owes all his triumph to the desire I had of making him； and not myself； happy。 I knew that the ceremony of our marriage； which was privately performed by a popish priest； was no way binding； and that I had nothing to trust to but his honour。' 'What；' interrupted I； 'and were you indeed married by a priest； and in orders？''Indeed； Sir； we were；' replied she； 'though we were both sworn to conceal his name。' 'Why then； my child； come to my arms again； and now you are a thousand times more welcome than before； for you are now his wife to all intents and purposes； nor can all the laws of man； tho' written upon tables of adamant； lessen the force of that sacred connexion。'
'Alas； Papa；' replied she； 'you are but little acquainted with his villainies： he has been married already； by the same priest； to six or eight wives more； whom； like me； he has deceived and abandoned。'
'Has he so？' cried I； 'then we must hang the priest； and you shall inform against him to…morrow。''But Sir；' returned she； 'will that be right； when I am sworn to secrecy？''My dear；' I replied； 'if you have made such a promise； I cannot； nor will I tempt you to break it。 Even tho' it may benefit the public； you must not inform against him。 In all human institutions a smaller evil is allowed to procure a greater good； as in politics； a province may be given away to secure a kingdom； in medicine； a limb may be lopt off； to preserve the body。 But in religion the law is written； and inflexible； never to do evil。 And this law； my child； is right： for otherwise； if we commit a smaller evil； to procure a greater good； certain guilt would be thus incurred； in expectation of contingent advantage。 And though the advantage should certainly follow； yet the interval between commission and advantage； which is allowed to be guilty； may be that in which we are called away to answer for the things we have done； and the volume of human actions is closed for ever。 But I interrupt you； my dear； go on。'
'The very next morning；' continued she； 'I found what little expectations I was to have from his sincerity。 That very morning he introduced me to two unhappy women more； whom； like me； he had deceived； but who lived in contented prostitution。 I loved him too tenderly to bear such rivals in his affections； and strove to forget my infamy in a tumult of pleasures。 With this view； I danced； dressed； and talked； but still was unhappy。 The gentlemen who visited there told me every moment of the power of my charms； and this only contributed to encrease my melancholy； as I had thrown all their power quite away。 Thus each day I grew more pensive； and he more insolent； till at last the monster had the assurance to offer me to a young Baronet of his acquaintance。 Need I describe； Sir； how his ingratitude stung me。 My answer to this proposal was almost madness。 I desired to part。 As I was going he offered me a purse； but I flung it at him with indignation； and burst from him in a rage； that for a while kept me insensible of the miseries of my situation。 But I soon looked round me； and saw myself a vile； abject； guilty thing； without one friend in the world to apply to。 Just in that interval； a stage… coach happening to pass by； I took a place； it being my only aim to be driven at a distance from a wretch I despised and detested。 I was set down here； where； since my arrival； my own anxiety； and this woman's unkindness； have been my only companions。 The hours of pleasure that I have passed with my mamma and sister； now grow painful to me。 Their sorrows are much； but mine is greater than theirs； for mine are mixed with guilt and infamy。'
'Have patience； my child；' cried I； 'and I hope things will yet be better。 Take some repose to…night； and to…morrow I'll carry you home to your mother and the rest of the family； from whom you will receive a kind reception。 Poor woman； this has gone to her heart： but she loves you still； Olivia； and will forget it。
CHAPTER 22
Offences are easily pardoned where there is love at bottom
The next morning I took my daughter behind me； and set out on my return home。 As we travelled along； I strove； by every persuasion； to calm her sorrows and fears； and to arm her with resolution to bear the presence of her offended mother。 I took every opportunity； from the prospect of a fine country； through which we passed； to observe how much kinder heaven was to us； than we to each other； and that the misfortunes of nature's making were very few。 I assured her； that she should never perceive any change in my affections； and that during my life； which yet might be long； she might depend upon a guardian and an instructor。 I armed her against the censures of the world； shewed her that books were sweet unreproaching companions to the miserable； and that if they could not bring us to enjoy life； they would at least teach us to endure it。
The hired horse that we rode was to be put up that night at an inn by the way； within about five miles from my house； and as I was willing to prepare my family for my daughter's reception； I determined to leave her that night at the inn； and to return for her； accompanied by my daughter Sophia； early the next morning。 It was night before we reached our appointed stage： however； after seeing her provided with a decent apartment； and having ordered the hostess to prepare proper refreshments； I kissed her； and proceeded towards home。 And now my heart caught new sensations of pleasure the nearer I approached that peaceful mansion。 As a bird that had been frighted from its nest； my affections out…went my haste； and hovered round my little fire…side； with all the rapture of expectation。 I called up the many fond things I had to say； and anticipated the welcome I was to receive。 I already felt my wife's tender embrace； and sniiled at the joy of my little ones。 As I walked but slowly； the night wained apace。 The labourers of the day were all retired to rest； the lights were out in every cottage； no sounds were heard but of the shrilling cock； and the deep…mouthed watch…dog； at hollow distance。 I approached my little abode of pleasure； and before I was within a furlong of the place； our honest mastiff came running to welcome me。
It was now near mid…night that I came to knock at my door： all was still and silent： my heart dilated with unutterable happiness； when； to my amazement； I saw the house bursting out in a blaze of fire； and every apperture red with conflagration！ I gave a loud convulsive outcry； and fell upon the pavement insensible。 This alarmed my son； who had till this been asleep； and he perceiving the flames； instantly waked my wife and daughter； and all running out； naked； and wild with apprehension； recalled me to life with their anguish。 But it was only to objects of new terror； for the flames had； by this time； caught the roof of our dwelling； part after part continuing to fall in； while the family stood； with silent agony； looking on； as if they enjoyed the blaze。 I gazed upon them and upon it by turns； and then looked round me for my two little ones； but they were not to be seen。 O misery！ 'Where；' cried I； 'where are my little ones？'… …'They are burnt to death in the flames；' says my wife calmly； 'and I will die with them。'That moment I heard the cry of the babes within； who were just awaked by the fire； and nothing could have stopped me。 'Where； where； are my children？' cried I； rushing through the flames； and bursting the door of the chamber in which they were confined； 'Where are my little ones？''Here； dear papa； here we are；' cried they together； while the flames were just catching the bed where they lay。 I caught them both in my arms； and snatched them through the fire as fast as possible； while just as I was got out； the roof sunk in。 'Now；' cried I； holding up my children； 'now let the flames burn on； and all my possessions perish。 Here they are； I have saved my； treasure。 Here； my dearest； here are our treasures； and we shall yet be happy。' We kissed our little darlings a thousand times； they clasped us round the neck； and seemed to share our transports； while their mother laughed and wept by turns。
I now stood a calm spectator of the flames； and after some time； began to perceive that my arm to the shoulder was scorched in a terrible manner。 It was therefore out of my power to give my son any assistance； either in attempting to save our goods； or preventing the flames spreading to our corn。 By this time； the neighbours were alarmed； and came running to our assistance； but all they could do was to stand； like us； spectators of the calamity。 My goods； among which were the notes I had reserved for my daughters' fortunes； were entirely consumed； except a box； with some papers that stood in the kitchen； and two or three things more of little consequence； which my son brought away in the beginning。 The neighbours contributed； however； what they could to lighten our distress。 They brought us cloaths； and furnished one of our out…houses with kitchen utensils； so that by day…light we had another； tho' a wretched； dwelling to retire to。 My honest next neighbour； and his children； were not the least assiduous in providing us with every thing necessary； and offering what ever conso
