the vicar of wakefield-第10节

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ily　these　nine　years；　and　his　companion　Blackberry；　that　have　scarce　done　an　earthly　thing　for　this　month　past。　They　are　both　grown　fat　and　lazy。　Why　should　not　they　do　something　as　well　as　we？　And　let　me　tell　you；　when　Moses　has　trimmed　them　a　little；　they　will　cut　a　very　tolerable　figure。'　To　this　proposal　I　objected；　that　walking　would　be　twenty　times　more　genteel　than　such　a　paltry　conveyance；　as　Blackberry　was　wall…eyed；　and　the　Colt　wanted　a　tail：　that　they　had　never　been　broke　to　the　rein；　but　had　an　hundred　vicious　tricks；　and　that　we　had　but　one　saddle　and　pillion　in　the　whole　house。　All　these　objections；　however；　were　over…ruled；　so　that　I　was　obliged　to　comply。　The　next　morning　I　perceived　them　not　a　little　busy　in　collecting　such　materials　as　might　be　necessary　for　the　expedition；　but　as　I　found　it　would　be　a　business　of　time；　I　walked　on　to　the　church　before；　and　they　promised　speedily　to　follow。　I　waited　near　an　hour　in　the　reading　desk　for　their　arrival；　but　not　finding　them　come　as　expected；　I　was　obliged　to　begin；　and　went　through　the　service；　not　without　some　uneasiness　at　finding　them　absent。　This　was　encreased　when　all　was　finished；　and　no　appearance　of　the　family。　I　therefore　walked　back　by　the　horse…way；　which　was　five　miles　round；　tho'　the　foot…way　was　but　two；　and　when　got　about　half　way　home；　perceived　the　procession　marching　slowly　forward　towards　the　church；　my　son；　my　wife；　and　the　two　little　ones　exalted　upon　one　horse；　and　my　two　daughters　upon　the　other。　I　demanded　the　cause　of　their　delay；　but　I　soon　found　by　their　looks　they　had　met　with　a　thousand　misfortunes　on　the　road。　The　horses　had　at　first　refused　to　move　from　the　door；　till　Mr　Burchell　was　kind　enough　to　beat　them　forward　for　about　two　hundred　yards　with　his　cudgel。　Next　the　straps　of　my　wife's　pillion　broke　down；　and　they　were　obliged　to　stop　to　repair　them　before　they　could　proceed。　After　that；　one　of　the　horses　took　it　into　his　head　to　stand　still；　and　neither　blows　nor　entreaties　could　prevail　with　him　to　proceed。　It　was　just　recovering　from　this　dismal　situation　that　I　found　them；　but　perceiving　every　thing　safe；　I　own　their　present　mortification　did　not　much　displease　me；　as　it　would　give　me　many　opportunities　of　future　triumph；　and　teach　my　daughters　more　humility。



CHAPTER　11

The　family　still　resolve　to　hold　up　their　heads


Michaelmas　eve　happening　on　the　next　day；　we　were　invited　to　burn　nuts　and　play　tricks　at　neighbour　Flamborough's。　Our　late　mortifications　had　humbled　us　a　little；　or　it　is　probable　we　might　have　rejected　such　an　invitation　with　contempt：　however；　we　suffered　ourselves　to　be　happy。　Our　honest　neighbour's　goose　and　dumplings　were　fine；　and　the　lamb's…wool；　even　in　the　opinion　of　my　wife；　who　was　a　connoiscur；　was　excellent。　It　is　true；　his　manner　of　telling　stories　was　not　quite　so　well。　They　were　very　long；　and　very　dull；　and　all　about　himself；　and　we　had　laughed　at　them　ten　times　before：　however；　we　were　kind　enough　to　laugh　at　them　once　more。

Mr　Burchell；　who　was　of　the　party；　was　always　fond　of　seeing　some　innocent　amusement　going　forward；　and　set　the　boys　and　girls　to　blind　man's　buff。　My　wife　too　was　persuaded　to　join　in　the　diversion；　and　it　gave　me　pleasure　to　think　she　was　not　yet　too　old。　In　the　mean　time；　my　neighbour　and　I　looked　on；　laughed　at　every　feat；　and　praised　our　own　dexterity　when　we　were　young。　Hot　cockles　succeeded　next；　questions　and　commands　followed　that；　and　last　of　all；　they　sate　down　to　hunt　the　slipper。　As　every　person　may　not　be　acquainted　with　this　primaeval　pastime；　it　may　be　necessary　to　observe；　that　the　company　at　this　play　themselves　in　a　ring　upon　the　ground；　all；　except　one　who　stands　in　the　middle；　whose　business　it　is　to　catch　a　shoe；　which　the　company　shove　about　under　their　hams　from　one　to　another；　something　like　a　weaver's　shuttle。　As　it　is　impossible；　in　this　case；　for　the　lady　who　is　up　to　face　all　the　company　at　once；　the　great　beauty　of　the　play　lies　in　hitting　her　a　thump　with　the　heel　of　the　shoe　on　that　side　least　capable　of　making　a　defence。　It　was　in　this　manner　that　my　eldest　daughter　was　hemmed　in；　and　thumped　about；　all　blowzed；　in　spirits；　and　bawling　for　fair　play；　fair　play；　with　a　voice　that　might　deafen　a　ballad　singer；　when　confusion　on　confusion；　who　should　enter　the　room　but　our　two　great　acquaintances　from　town；　Lady　Blarney　and　Miss　Carolina　Wilelmina　Amelia　Skeggs！　Description　would　but　beggar；　therefore　it　is　unnecessary　to　describe　this　new　mortification。　Death！　To　be　seen　by　ladies　of　such　high　breeding　in　such　vulgar　attitudes！　Nothing　better　could　ensue　from　such　a　vulgar　play　of　Mr　Flamborough's　proposing。　We　seemed　stuck　to　the　ground　for　some　time；　as　if　actually　petrified　with　amazement。

The　two　ladies　had　been　at　our　house　to　see　us；　and　finding　us　from　home；　came　after　us　hither；　as　they　were　uneasy　to　know　what　accident　could　have　kept　us　from　church　the　day　before。　Olivia　undertook　to　be　our　prolocutor；　and　delivered　the　whole　in　a　summary　way；　only　saying；　'We　were　thrown　from　our　horses。'　At　which　account　the　ladies　were　greatly　concerned；　but　being　told　the　family　received　no　hurt；　they　were　extremely　glad：　but　being　informed　that　we　were　almost　killed　by　the　fright；　they　were　vastly　sorry；　but　hearing　that　we　had　a　very　good　night；　they　were　extremely　glad　again。　Nothing　could　exceed　their　complaisance　to　my　daughters；　their　professions　the　last　evening　were　warm；　but　now　they　were　ardent。　They　protested　a　desire　of　having　a　more　lasting　acquaintance。　Lady　Blarney　was　particularly　attached　to　Olivia；　Miss　Carolina　Wilelmina　Amelia　Skeggs　（I　love　to　give　the　whole　name）　took　a　greater　fancy　to　her　sister。　They　supported　the　conversation　between　themselves；　while　my　daughters　sate　silent；　admiring　their　exalted　breeding。　But　as　every　reader；　however　beggarly　himself；　is　fond　of　high…lived　dialogues；　with　anecdotes　of　Lords；　Ladies；　and　Knights　of　the　Garter；　I　must　beg　leave　to　give　him　the　concluding　part　of　the　present　conversation。　'All　that　I　know　of　the　matter；'　cried　Miss　Skeggs；　'is　this；　that　it　may　be　true；　or　it　may　not　be　true：　but　this　I　can　assure　your　Ladyship；　that　the　whole　rout　was　in　amaze；　his　Lordship　turned　all　manner　of　colours；　my　Lady　fell　into　a　sound；　but　Sir　Tomkyn；　drawing　his　sword；　swore　he　was　her's　to　the　last　drop　of　his　blood。'　'Well；'　replied　our　Peeress；　'this　I　can　say；　that　the　Dutchess　never　told　me　a　syllable　of　the　matter；　and　I　believe　her　Grace　would　keep　nothing　a　secret　from　me。　This　you　may　depend　upon　as　fact；　that　the　next　morning　my　Lord　Duke　cried　out　three　times　to　his　valet　de　chambre；　Jernigan；　Jernigan；　Jernigan；　bring　me　my　garters。'

But　previously　I　should　have　mentioned　the　very　impolite　behaviour　of　Mr　Burchell；　who；　during　this　discourse；　sate　with　his　face　turned　to　the　fire；　and　at　the　conclusion　of　every　sentence　would　cry　out　FUDGE！　an　expression　which　displeased　us　all；　and　in　some　measure　damped　the　rising　spirit　of　the　conversation。

'Besides；　my　dear　Skeggs；'　continued　our　Peeress；　'there　is　nothing　of　this　in　the　copy　of　verses　that　Dr　Burdock　made　upon　the　occasion。''FUDGE！'

'I　am　surprised　at　that；'　cried　Miss　Skeggs；　'for　he　seldom　leaves　any　thing　out；　as　he　writes　only　for　his　own　amusement。　But　can　your　Ladyship　favour　me　with　a　sight　of　them？''FUDGE！'

'My　dear　creature；'　replied　our　Peeress；　'do　you　think　I　carry　such　things　about　me？　Though　they　are　very　fine　to　be　sure；　and　I　think　myself　something　of　a　judge；　at　least　I　know　what　pleases　myself。　Indeed　I　was　ever　an　admirer　of　all　Doctor　Burdock's　little　pieces；　for　except　what　he　does；　and　our　dear　Countess　at　Hanover…Square；　there's　nothing　comes　out　but　the　most　lowest　stuff　in　nature；　not　a　bit　of　high　life　among　them。''FUDGE！'

'Your　Ladyship　should　except；'　says　t'other；　'your　own　things　in　the　Lady's　Magazine。　I　hope　you'll　say　there's　nothing　low　lived　there？　But　I　suppose　we　are　to　have　no　more　from　that　quarter？'　'FUDGE！'

'Why；　my　dear；'　says　the　Lady；　'you　know　my　reader　and　companion　has　left　me；　to　be　married　to　Captain　Roach；　and　as　my　poor　eyes　won't　suffer　me　to　write　myself；　I　have　been　for　some　time　looking　out　for　another。　A　proper　person　is　no　easy　matter　to　find；　and　to　be　sure　thirty　pounds　a　year　is　a　small　stipend　for　a　well…bred　girl　of　character；　that　can　read；　write；　and　behave　in　company；　as　for　the　chits　about　town；　there　is　no　bearing　them　about　one。''FUDGE！'

'That　I　know；'　cried　Miss　Skeggs；　'by　experience。　For　of　the　three　companions　I　had　this　last　half　year；　one　of　them　refused　to　do　plain…work　an　hour　in　the　day；　another　thought　twenty…five　guineas　a　year　too　small　a　salary；　and　I　was　obliged　to　send　away　the　third；　because　I　suspected　an　intrigue　with　the　chaplain。　Virtue；　my　dear　Lady　Blarney；　virtue　is　worth　any　price；　but　where　is　that　to　be　found？''FUDGE！'

My　wife　had　been　for　a　long　time　all　attention　to　this　discourse；　but　was　particularly　struck　with　the　latter　part　of　it。　Thirty　pounds　and　twenty…five　guineas　a　year　made　fifty…six　pounds　five　shillings　English　money；　all　which　was　in　a　manner　going　a…begging；　and　might　easily　be　secured　in　the　family。　She　for　a　moment　studied　my　looks　for　approbation；　and；　to　own　a　truth；　I　was　o