arizona nights(亚利桑那之夜)-第34节
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and exerted considerable pressure on my arm in urgin' of me forward。
〃You ain't so much of a dreamer； after all；〃 thinks I。 〃In important
matters you are plumb decisive。〃 We sat down at little tables； and my
friend ordered a beer and a chicken sandwich。 〃Chickens；〃 says he；
gazin' at the sandwich； 〃is a dollar apiece in this country； and plumb scarce。
Did you ever pause to ponder over the returns chickens would give on a
small investment？ Say you start with ten hens。 Each hatches out
thirteen aigs； of which allow a loss of say six for childish accidents。 At
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the end of the year you has eighty chickens。 At the end of two years that
flock has increased to six hundred and twenty。 At the end of the third
year〃
He had the medicine tongue！ Ten days later him and me was
occupyin' of an old ranch fifty mile from anywhere。 When they run
stage…coaches this joint used to be a roadhouse。 The outlook was on
about a thousand little brown foothills。 A road two miles four rods two
foot eleven inches in sight run by in front of us。 It come over one foothill
and disappeared over another。 I know just how long it was； for later in
the game I measured it。 Out back was about a hundred little wire
chicken corrals filled with chickens。 We had two kinds。 That was the
doin's of Tuscarora。 My pardner called himself Tuscarora Maxillary。 I
asked him once if that was his real name。 〃It's the realest little old
name you ever heerd tell of；〃 says he。 〃I know； for I made it myself
liked the sound of her。 Parents ain't got no rights to name their children。
Parents don't have to be called them names。〃 Well； these chickens； as
I said； was of two kinds。 The first was these low…set； heavyweight
propositions with feathers on their laigs； and not much laigs at that； called
Cochin Chinys。 The other was a tall ridiculous outfit made up entire of
bulgin' breast and gangle laigs。 They stood about two foot and a half tall；
and when they went to peck the ground their tail feathers stuck straight up
to the sky。 Tusky called 'em Japanese Games。 〃Which the chief
advantage of them chickens is；〃 says he； 〃that in weight about ninety per
cent of 'em is breast meat。 Now my idee is； that if we can cross 'em with
these Cochin Chiny fowls we'll have a low…hung； heavyweight chicken
runnin' strong on breast meat。 These Jap Games is too small； but if we
can bring 'em up in size and shorten their laigs； we'll shore have a winner。〃
That looked good to me； so we started in on that idee。 The theery was
bully； but she didn't work out。 The first broods we hatched growed up with
big husky Cochin Chiny bodies and little short necks； perched up on laigs
three foot long。 Them chickens couldn't reach ground nohow。 We
had to build a table for 'em to eat off； and when they went out rustlin' for
themselves they had to confine themselves to sidehills or flyin' insects。
Their breasts was all right； though〃And think of them drumsticks for the
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boardinghouse trade！〃 says Tusky。 So far things wasn't so bad。 We
had a good grubstake。 Tusky and me used to feed them chickens twict a
day； and then used to set around watchin' the playful critters chase
grasshoppers up an' down the wire corrals； while Tusky figgered out
what'd happen if somebody was dumfool enough to gather up somethin'
and fix it in baskets or wagons or such。 That was where we showed our
ignorance of chickens。 One day in the spring I hitched up； rustled a
dozen of the youngsters into coops； and druv over to the railroad to make
our first sale。 I couldn't fold them chickens up into them coops at first；
but then I stuck the coops up on aidge and they worked all right； though I
will admit they was a comical sight。 At the railroad one of them towerist
trains had just slowed down to a halt as I come up； and the towerist was
paradin' up and down allowin' they was particular enjoyin' of the warm
Californy sunshine。 One old terrapin； with grey chin whiskers； projected
over； with his wife； and took a peek through the slats of my coop。 He
straightened up like someone had touched him off with a red…hot poker。
〃Stranger；〃 said he； in a scared kind of whisper； 〃what's them？〃
〃Them's chickens；〃 says I。 He took another long look。
〃Marthy；〃 says he to the old woman； 〃this will be about all！ We come out
from Ioway to see the Wonders of Californy； but I can't go nothin' stronger
than this。 If these is chickens； I don't want to see no Big Trees。〃
Well； I sold them chickens all right for a dollar and two bits； which was
better than I expected； and got an order for more。 About ten days later I
got a letter from the commission house。 〃We are returnin' a sample of
your Arts and Crafts chickens with the lovin' marks of the teeth still onto
him；〃 says they。 〃Don't send any more till they stops pursuin' of the
nimble grasshopper。 Dentist bill will foller。〃
With the letter came the remains of one of the chickens。 Tusky and I；
very indignant； cooked her for supper。 She was tough； all right。 We
thought she might do better biled； so we put her in the pot over night。
Nary bit。 Well； then we got interested。 Tusky kep' the fire goin' and I
rustled greasewood。 We cooked her three days and three nights。 At the
end of that time she was sort of pale and frazzled； but still givin' points to
three…year…old jerky on cohesion and other uncompromisin' forces of
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Nature。 We buried her then； and went out back to recuperate。 There
we could gaze on the smilin' landscape； dotted by about four hundred
long…laigged chickens swoopin' here and there after grasshoppers。
〃We got to stop that；〃 says I。 〃We can't；〃 murmured Tusky； inspired。
〃We can't。 It's born in 'em； it's a primal instinct； like the love of a mother
for her young； and it can't be eradicated！ Them chickens is constructed
by a divine providence for the express purpose of chasin' grasshoppers；
jest as the beaver is made for buildin' dams； and the cow…puncher is made
for whisky and faro…games。 We can't keep 'em from it。 If we was to
shut 'em in a dark cellar； they'd flop after imaginary grasshoppers in their
dreams； and die emaciated in the midst of plenty。 Jimmy； we're up agin
the Cosmos； the oversoul〃 Oh； he had the medicine tongue； Tusky had；
and risin' on the wings of eloquence that way； he had me faded in ten
minutes。 In fifteen I was wedded solid to the notion that the bottom had
dropped out of the chicken business。 I think now that if we'd shut them
hens up； we might havestill； I don't know； they was a good deal in what
Tusky said。
〃Tuscarora Maxillary；〃 says I； 〃did you ever stop to entertain that
beautiful thought that if all the dumfoolishness possessed now by the
human race could be gathered together； and lined up alongside of us； the
first feller to come along would say to it 'Why； hello； Solomon！'〃 We
quit the notion of chickens for profit right then and there； but we couldn't
quit the place。 We hadn't much money； for one thing； and then we； kind
of liked loafin' around and raisin' a little garden truck； andoh； well； I
might as well say so； we had a notion about placers in the dry wash back
