the gentle grafter-第20节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


president　of　the　company。

〃No　recherche　rags　for　me；〃　I　says　to　Atterbury；　when　we　was
organizing　the　stage　properties　of　the　robbery。　〃I'm　a　plain　man；〃
says　I；　〃and　I　do　not　use　pajamas；　French；　or　military　hair…brushes。
Cast　me　for　the　role　of　the　rhinestone…in…the…rough　or　I　don't　go　on
exhibition。　If　you　can　use　me　in　my　natural；　though　displeasing　form；
do　so。〃

〃Dress　you　up？〃　says　Atterbury；　〃I　should　say　not！　Just　as　you　are
you're　worth　more　to　the　business　than　a　whole　roomful　of　the　things
they　pin　chrysanthemums　on。　You're　to　play　the　part　of　the　solid　but
disheveled　capitalist　from　the　Far　West。　You　despise　the　conventions。
You've　got　so　many　stocks　you　can　afford　to　shake　socks。　Conservative；
homely；　rough；　shrewd；　savingthat's　your　pose。　It's　a　winner　in　New
York。　Keep　your　feet　on　the　desk　and　eat　apples。　Whenever　anybody
comes　in　eat　an　apple。　Let　'em　see　you　stuff　the　peelings　in　a　drawer
of　your　desk。　Look　as　economical　and　rich　and　rugged　as　you　can。〃

I　followed　out　Atterbury's　instructions。　I　played　the　Rocky　Mountain
capitalist　without　ruching　or　frills。　The　way　I　deposited　apple
peelings　to　my　credit　in　a　drawer　when　any　customers　came　in　made
Hetty　Green　look　like　a　spendthrift。　I　could　hear　Atterbury　saying　to
victims；　as　he　smiled　at　me；　indulgent　and　venerating；　〃That's　our
vice…president；　Colonel　Pickens　。　。　。　fortune　in　Western　investments
。　。　。　delightfully　plain　manners；　but　。　。　。　could　sign　his　check　for
half　a　million　。　。　。　simple　as　a　child　。　。　。　wonderful　head　。　。　。
conservative　and　careful　almost　to　a　fault。〃

Atterbury　managed　the　business。　Me　and　Buck　never　quite　understood　all
of　it；　though　he　explained　it　to　us　in　full。　It　seems　the　company　was
a　kind　of　cooperative　one；　and　everybody　that　bought　stock　shared　in
the　profits。　First；　we　officers　bought　up　a　controlling　interestwe
had　to　have　thatof　the　shares　at　50　cents　a　hundredjust　what　the
printer　charged　usand　the　rest　went　to　the　public　at　a　dollar　each。
The　company　guaranteed　the　stockholders　a　profit　of　ten　per　cent。　each
month；　payable　on　the　last　day　thereof。

When　any　stockholder　had　paid　in　as　much　as　100；　the　company　issued
him　a　Gold　Bond　and　he　became　a　bondholder。　I　asked　Atterbury　one　day
what　benefits　and　appurtenances　these　Gold　Bonds　was　to　an　investor
more　so　than　the　immunities　and　privileges　enjoyed　by　the　common
sucker　who　only　owned　stock。　Atterbury　picked　up　one　of　them　Gold
Bonds；　all　gilt　and　lettered　up　with　flourishes　and　a　big　red　seal
tied　with　a　blue　ribbon　in　a　bowknot；　and　he　looked　at　me　like　his
feelings　was　hurt。

〃My　dear　Colonel　Pickens；〃　says　he；　〃you　have　no　soul　for　Art。　Think
of　a　thousand　homes　made　happy　by　possessing　one　of　these　beautiful
gems　of　the　lithographer's　skill！　Think　of　the　joy　in　the　household
where　one　of　these　Gold　Bonds　hangs　by　a　pink　cord　to　the　what…not；　or
is　chewed　by　the　baby；　caroling　gleefully　upon　the　floor！　Ah；　I　see
your　eye　growing　moist；　ColonelI　have　touched　you；　have　I　not？〃

〃You　have　not；〃　says　I；　〃for　I've　been　watching　you。　The　moisture　you
see　is　apple　juice。　You　can't　expect　one　man　to　act　as　a　human　cider…
press　and　an　art　connoisseur　too。〃

Atterbury　attended　to　the　details　of　the　concern。　As　I　understand　it；
they　was　simple。　The　investors　in　stock　paid　in　their　money；　and
well；　I　guess　that's　all　they　had　to　do。　The　company　received　it；　and
I　don't　call　to　mind　anything　else。　Me　and　Buck　knew　more　about
selling　corn　salve　than　we　did　about　Wall　Street；　but　even　we　could
see　how　the　Golconda　Gold　Bond　Investment　Company　was　making　money。
You　take　in　money　and　pay　back　ten　per　cent。　of　it；　it's　plain　enough
that　you　make　a　clean；　legitimate　profit　of　90　per　cent。；　less
expenses；　as　long　as　the　fish　bite。

Atterbury　wanted　to　be　president　and　treasurer　too；　but　Buck　winks　an
eye　at　him　and　says：　〃You　was　to　furnish　the　brains。　Do　you　call　it
good　brain　work　when　you　propose　to　take　in　money　at　the　door；　too？
Think　again。　I　hereby　nominate　myself　treasurer　ad　valorem；　sine　die；
and　by　acclamation。　I　chip　in　that　much　brain　work　free。　Me　and
Pickens；　we　furnished　the　capital；　and　we'll　handle　the　unearned
increment　as　it　incremates。〃

It　costs　us　500　for　office　rent　and　first　payment　on　furniture；
1；500　more　went　for　printing　and　advertising。　Atterbury　knew　his
business。　〃Three　months　to　a　minute　we'll　last；〃　says　he。　〃A　day
longer　than　that　and　we'll　have　to　either　go　under　or　go　under　an
alias。　By　that　time　we　ought　to　clean　up　60；000。　And　then　a　money
belt　and　a　lower　berth　for　me；　and　the　yellow　journals　and　the
furniture　men　can　pick　the　bones。〃

Our　ads。　done　the　work。　〃Country　weeklies　and　Washington　hand…press
dailies；　of　course；〃　says　I　when　we　was　ready　to　make　contracts。

〃Man；〃　says　Atterbury；　〃as　its　advertising　manager　you　would　cause　a
Limburger　cheese　factory　to　remain　undiscovered　during　a　hot　summer。
The　game　we're　after　is　right　here　in　New　York　and　Brooklyn　and　the
Harlem　reading…rooms。　They're　the　people　that　the　street…car　fenders
and　the　Answers　to　Correspondents　columns　and　the　pickpocket　notices
are　made　for。　We　want　our　ads。　in　the　biggest　city　dailies；　top　of
column；　next　to　editorials　on　radium　and　pictures　of　the　girl　doing
health　exercises。〃

Pretty　soon　the　money　begins　to　roll　in。　Buck　didn't　have　to　pretend
to　be　busy；　his　desk　was　piled　high　up　with　money　orders　and　checks
and　greenbacks。　People　began　to　drop　in　the　office　and　buy　stock　every
day。

Most　of　the　shares　went　in　small　amounts10　and　25　and　50；　and　a
good　many　2　and　3　lots。　And　the　bald　and　inviolate　cranium　of
President　Atterbury　shines　with　enthusiasm　and　demerit；　while　Colonel
Tecumseh　Pickens；　the　rude　but　reputable　Croesus　of　the　West；　consumes
so　many　apples　that　the　peelings　hang　to　the　floor　from　the　mahogany
garbage　chest　that　he　calls　his　desk。

Just　as　Atterbury　said；　we　ran　along　about　three　months　without　being
troubled。　Buck　cashed　the　paper　as　fast　as　it　came　in　and　kept　the
money　in　a　safe　deposit　vault　a　block　or　so　away。　Buck　never　thought
much　of　banks　for　such　purposes。　We　paid　the　interest　regular　on　the
stock　we'd　sold；　so　there　was　nothing　for　anybody　to　squeal　about。　We
had　nearly　50；000　on　hand　and　all　three　of　us　had　been　living　as　high
as　prize　fighters　out　of　training。

One　morning；　as　me　and　Buck　sauntered　into　the　office；　fat　and
flippant；　from　our　noon　grub；　we　met　an　easy…looking　fellow；　with　a
bright　eye　and　a　pipe　in　his　mouth；　coming　out。　We　found　Atterbury
looking　like　he'd　been　caught　a　mile　from　home　in　a　wet　shower。

〃Know　that　man？〃　he　asked　us。

We　said　we　didn't。

〃I　don't　either；〃　says　Atterbury；　wiping　off　his　head；　〃but　I'll　bet
enough　Gold　Bonds　to　paper　a　cell　in　the　Tombs　that　he's　a　newspaper
reporter。〃

〃What　did　he　want？〃　asks　Buck。

〃Information；〃　says　our　president。　〃Said　he　was　thinking　of　buying
some　stock。　He　asked　me　about　nine　hundred　questions；　and　every　one　of
'em　hit　some　sore　place　in　the　business。　I　know　he's　on　a　paper。　You
can't　fool　me。　You　see　a　man　about　half　shabby；　with　an　eye　like　a
gimlet；　smoking　cut　plug；　with　dandruff　on　his　coat　collar；　and
knowing　more　than　J。　P。　Morgan　and　Shakespeare　put　togetherif　that
ain't　a　reporter　I　never　saw　one。　I　was　afraid　of　this。　I　don't　mind
detectives　and　post…office　inspectorsI　talk　to　'em　eight　minutes　and
then　sell　'em　stockbut　them　reporters　take　the　starch　out　of　my
collar。　Boys；　I　recommend　that　we　declare　a　dividend　and　fade　away。
The　signs　point　that　way。〃

Me　and　Buck　talked　to　Atterbury　and　got　him　to　stop　sweating　and　stand
still。　That　fellow　didn't　look　like　a　reporter　to　us。　Reporters　always
pull　out　a　pencil　and　tablet　on　you；　and　tell　you　a　story　you've
heard；　and　strikes　you　for　the　drinks。　But　Atterbury　was　shaky　and
nervous　all　day。

The　next　day　me　and　Buck　comes　down　from　the　hotel　about　ten…thirty。
On　the　way　we　buys　the　papers；　and　the　first　thing　we　see　is　a　column
on　the　front　page　about　our　little　imposition。　It　was　a　shame　the　way
that　reporter　intimated　that　we　were　no　blood　relatives　of　the　late
George　W。　Childs。　He　tells　all　about　the　scheme　as　he　sees　it；　in　a
rich；　racy　kind　of　a　guying　style　that　might　amuse　most　anybody　except
a　stockholder。　Yes；　Atterbury　was　right；　it　behooveth　the　gaily　clad
treasurer　and　the　pearly　pated　president　and　the　rugged　vice…president
of　the　Golconda　Gold　Bond　and　Investment　Company　to　go　away　real
sudden　and　quick　that　their　days　might　be　longer　upon　the　land。

Me　and　Buck　hurries　down　to　the　office。　We　finds　on　the　stairs　and　in
the　hall　a　crowd　of　people　trying　to　squeeze　into　our　office；　which　is
already　jammed　full　inside　to　the　railing。　They've　nearly　all　got
Golconda　stock　and　Gold　Bonds　in　their　hands。　Me　and　Buck　judged
they'd　been　reading　the　papers；　too。

We　stopped　and　looked　at　our　stockholders；　some　surprised。　It　wasn't
quite　the　kind　of　a　gang　we　supposed　had　been　investing。　They　all
looked　like　poor　people；　there　was　plenty　of　old　women　and　lots　of
young　girls　that　you'd　say　worked　in　factories　and　mills。　Some　was　old
men　that　looked　like　war　veterans；　and　some　was　crippled；　and　a　good
many　was　just　kidsbootbla