the gentle grafter-第17节

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〃'My　regards　to　Morpheus；'　says　I。　'I　think　I'll　sit　up　a　while。'

〃About　two　o'clock；　as　near　as　I　could　guess　by　my　watch　in　Peavine；
home　comes　our　laboring　man　and　kicks　up　Ricks；　and　calls　us　to　the
streak　of　bright　moonlight　shining　in　the　cabin　door。　Then　he　spreads
out　five　packages　of　one　thousand　dollars　each　on　the　floor；　and
begins　to　cackle　over　the　nest…egg　like　a　hen。

〃'I'll　tell　you　a　few　things　about　that　town；'　says　he。　'It's　named
Rocky　Springs；　and　they're　building　a　Masonic　temple；　and　it　looks
like　the　Democratic　candidate　for　mayor　is　going　to　get　soaked　by　a
Pop；　and　Judge　Tucker's　wife；　who　has　been　down　with　pleurisy；　is
getting　some　better。　I　had　a　talk　on　these　liliputian　thesises　before
I　could　get　a　siphon　in　the　fountain　of　knowledge　that　I　was　after。
And　there's　a　bank　there　called　the　Lumberman's　Fidelity　and　Plowman's
Savings　Institution。　It　closed　for　business　yesterday　with　23；000
cash　on　hand。　It　will　open　this　morning　with　18；000all　silver
that's　the　reason　I　didn't　bring　more。　There　you　are；　trade　and
capital。　Now；　will　you　be　bad？'

〃'My　young　friend；'　says　Alfred　E。　Ricks；　holding　up　his　hands；　'have
you　robbed　this　bank？　Dear　me；　dear　me！'

〃'You　couldn't　call　it　that；'　says　Bassett。　〃Robbing〃　sounds　harsh。
All　I　had　to　do　was　to　find　out　what　street　it　was　on。　That　town　is　so
quiet　that　I　could　stand　on　the　corner　and　hear　the　tumblers　clicking
in　that　safe　lock〃right　to　45；　left　twice　to　80；　right　once　to　60；
left　to　15〃as　plain　as　the　Yale　captain　giving　orders　in　the
football　dialect。　Now；　boys；'　says　Bassett；　'this　is　an　early　rising
town。　They　tell　me　the　citizens　are　all　up　and　stirring　before
daylight。　I　asked　what　for；　and　they　said　because　breakfast　was　ready
at　that　time。　And　what　of　merry　Robin　Hood？　It　must　be　Yoicks！　and
away　with　the　tinkers'　chorus。　I'll　stake　you。　How　much　do　you　want？
Speak　up。　Capital。'

〃'My　dear　young　friend；'　says　this　ground　squirrel　of　a　Ricks；
standing　on　his　hind　legs　and　juggling　nuts　in　his　paws；　'I　have
friends　in　Denver　who　would　assist　me。　If　I　had　a　hundred　dollars　I'

〃Basset　unpins　a　package　of　the　currency　and　throws　five　twenties　to
Ricks。

〃'Trade；　how　much？'　he　says　to　me。

〃'Put　your　money　up；　Labor；'　says　I。　'I　never　yet　drew　upon　honest
toil　for　its　hard…earned　pittance。　The　dollars　I　get　are　surplus　ones
that　are　burning　the　pockets　of　damfools　and　greenhorns。　When　I　stand
on　a　street　corner　and　sell　a　solid　gold　diamond　ring　to　a　yap　for
3。00；　I　make　just　2。60。　And　I　know　he's　going　to　give　it　to　a　girl
in　return　for　all　the　benefits　accruing　from　a　125。00　ring。　His
profits　are　122。00。　Which　of　us　is　the　biggest　fakir？'

〃'And　when　you　sell　a　poor　woman　a　pinch　of　sand　for　fifty　cents　to
keep　her　lamp　from　exploding；'　says　Bassett；　'what　do　you　figure　her
gross　earnings　to　be；　with　sand　at　forty　cents　a　ton？'

〃'Listen；'　says　I。　'I　instruct　her　to　keep　her　lamp　clean　and　well
filled。　If　she　does　that　it　can't　burst。　And　with　the　sand　in　it　she
knows　it　can't；　and　she　don't　worry。　It's　a　kind　of　Industrial
Christian　Science。　She　pays　fifty　cents；　and　gets　both　Rockefeller　and
Mrs。　Eddy　on　the　job。　It　ain't　everybody　that　can　let　the　gold…dust
twins　do　their　work。'

〃Alfred　E。　Ricks　all　but　licks　the　dust　off　of　Bill　Bassett's　shoes。

〃'My　dear　young　friend；'　says　he；　'I　will　never　forget　your
generosity。　Heaven　will　reward　you。　But　let　me　implore　you　to　turn
from　your　ways　of　violence　and　crime。'

〃'Mousie；'　says　Bill；　'the　hole　in　the　wainscoting　for　yours。　Your
dogmas　and　inculcations　sound　to　me　like　the　last　words　of　a　bicycle
pump。　What　has　your　high　moral；　elevator…service　system　of　pillage
brought　you　to？　Penuriousness　and　want。　Even　Brother　Peters；　who
insists　upon　contaminating　the　art　of　robbery　with　theories　of
commerce　and　trade；　admitted　he　was　on　the　lift。　Both　of　you　live　by
the　gilded　rule。　Brother　Peters；'　says　Bill；　'you'd　better　choose　a
slice　of　this　embalmed　currency。　You're　welcome。'

〃I　told　Bill　Bassett　once　more　to　put　his　money　in　his　pocket。　I　never
had　the　respect　for　burglary　that　some　people　have。　I　always　gave
something　for　the　money　I　took；　even　if　it　was　only　some　little　trifle
for　a　souvenir　to　remind　'em　not　to　get　caught　again。

〃And　then　Alfred　E。　Ricks　grovels　at　Bill's　feet　again；　and　bids　us
adieu。　He　says　he　will　have　a　team　at　a　farmhouse；　and　drive　to　the
station　below；　and　take　the　train　for　Denver。　It　salubrified　the
atmosphere　when　that　lamentable　boll…worm　took　his　departure。　He　was　a
disgrace　to　every　non…industrial　profession　in　the　country。　With　all
his　big　schemes　and　fine　offices　he　had　wound　up　unable　even　to　get　an
honest　meal　except　by　the　kindness　of　a　strange　and　maybe　unscrupulous
burglar。　I　was　glad　to　see　him　go；　though　I　felt　a　little　sorry　for
him；　now　that　he　was　ruined　forever。　What　could　such　a　man　do　without
a　big　capital　to　work　with？　Why；　Alfred　E。　Ricks；　as　we　left　him；　was
as　helpless　as　turtle　on　its　back。　He　couldn't　have　worked　a　scheme　to
beat　a　little　girl　out　of　a　penny　slate…pencil。

〃When　me　and　Bill　Bassett　was　left　alone　I　did　a　little　sleight…of…
mind　turn　in　my　head　with　a　trade　secret　at　the　end　of　it。　Thinks　I；
I'll　show　this　Mr。　Burglar　Man　the　difference　between　business　and
labor。　He　had　hurt　some　of　my　professional　self…adulation　by　casting
his　Persians　upon　commerce　and　trade。

〃'I　won't　take　any　of　your　money　as　a　gift；　Mr。　Bassett；'　says　I　to
him；　'but　if　you'll　pay　my　expenses　as　a　travelling　companion　until　we
get　out　of　the　danger　zone　of　the　immoral　deficit　you　have　caused　in
this　town's　finances　to…night；　I'll　be　obliged。'

〃Bill　Bassett　agreed　to　that；　and　we　hiked　westward　as　soon　as　we
could　catch　a　safe　train。

〃When　we　got　to　a　town　in　Arizona　called　Los　Perros　I　suggested　that
we　once　more　try　our　luck　on　terra…cotta。　That　was　the　home　of
Montague　Silver；　my　old　instructor；　now　retired　from　business。　I　knew
Monty　would　stake　me　to　web　money　if　I　could　show　him　a　fly　buzzing
'round　the　locality。　Bill　Bassett　said　all　towns　looked　alike　to　him
as　he　worked　mainly　in　the　dark。　So　we　got　off　the　train　in　Los
Perros；　a　fine　little　town　in　the　silver　region。

〃I　had　an　elegant　little　sure　thing　in　the　way　of　a　commercial
slugshot　that　I　intended　to　hit　Bassett　behind　the　ear　with。　I　wasn't
going　to　take　his　money　while　he　was　asleep；　but　I　was　going　to　leave
him　with　a　lottery　ticket　that　would　represent　in　experience　to　him
4；755I　think　that　was　the　amount　he　had　when　we　got　off　the　train。
But　the　first　time　I　hinted　to　him　about　an　investment；　he　turns　on　me
and　disencumbers　himself　of　the　following　terms　and　expressions。

〃'Brother　Peters；'　says　he；　'it　ain't　a　bad　idea　to　go　into　an
enterprise　of　some　kind；　as　you　suggest。　I　think　I　will。　But　if　I　do
it　will　be　such　a　cold　proposition　that　nobody　but　Robert　E。　Peary　and
Charlie　Fairbanks　will　be　able　to　sit　on　the　board　of　directors。'

〃'I　thought　you　might　want　to　turn　your　money　over；'　says　I。

〃'I　do；'　says　he；　'frequently。　I　can't　sleep　on　one　side　all　night。
I'll　tell　you；　Brother　Peters；'　says　he；　'I'm　going　to　start　a　poker
room。　I　don't　seem　to　care　for　the　humdrum　in　swindling；　such　as
peddling　egg…beaters　and　working　off　breakfast　food　on　Barnum　and
Bailey　for　sawdust　to　strew　in　their　circus　rings。　But　the　gambling
business；'　says　he；　'from　the　profitable　side　of　the　table　is　a　good
compromise　between　swiping　silver　spoons　and　selling　penwipers　at　a
Waldorf…Astoria　charity　bazar。'

〃'Then；'　says　I；　'Mr。　Bassett；　you　don't　care　to　talk　over　my　little
business　proposition？'

〃'Why；'　says　he；　'do　you　know；　you　can't　get　a　Pasteur　institute　to
start　up　within　fifty　miles　of　where　I　live。　I　bite　so　seldom。'

〃So；　Bassett　rents　a　room　over　a　saloon　and　looks　around　for　some
furniture　and　chromos。　The　same　night　I　went　to　Monty　Silver's　house；
and　he　let　me　have　200　on　my　prospects。　Then　I　went　to　the　only　store
in　Los　Perros　that　sold　playing　cards　and　bought　every　deck　in　the
house。　The　next　morning　when　the　store　opened　I　was　there　bringing　all
the　cards　back　with　me。　I　said　that　my　partner　that　was　going　to　back
me　in　the　game　had　changed　his　mind；　and　I　wanted　to　sell　the　cards
back　again。　The　storekeeper　took　'em　at　half　price。

〃Yes；　I　was　seventy…five　dollars　loser　up　to　that　time。　But　while　I
had　the　cards　that　night　I　marked　every　one　in　every　deck。　That　was
labor。　And　then　trade　and　commerce　had　their　innings；　and　the　bread　I
had　cast　upon　the　waters　began　to　come　back　in　the　form　of　cottage
pudding　with　wine　sauce。

〃Of　course　I　was　among　the　first　to　buy　chips　at　Bill　Bassett's　game。
He　had　bought　the　only　cards　there　was　to　be　had　in　town；　and　I　knew
the　back　of　every　one　of　them　better　than　I　know　the　back　of　my　head
when　the　barber　shows　me　my　haircut　in　the　two　mirrors。

〃When　the　game　closed　I　had　the　five　thousand　and　a　few　odd　dollars；
and　all　Bill　Bassett　had　was　the　wanderlust　and　a　black　cat　he　had
bought　for　a　mascot。　Bill　shook　hands　with　me　when　I　left。

〃'Brother　Peters；'　says　he；　'I　have　no　business　being　in　business。　I
was　preordained　to　labor。　When　a　No。　1　burglar　tries　to　make