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THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP
THE HAUNTED
BOOKSHOP
BY CHRISTOPHER MORLEY
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THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP
Chapter I
The Haunted Bookshop
If you are ever in Brooklyn； that borough of superb sunsets and
magnificent vistas of husband…propelled baby…carriages； it is to be hoped
you may chance upon a quiet by…street where there is a very remarkable
bookshop。
This bookshop； which does business under the unusual name
〃Parnassus at Home；〃 is housed in one of the comfortable old brown…stone
dwellings which have been the joy of several generations of plumbers and
cockroaches。 The owner of the business has been at pains to remodel the
house to make it a more suitable shrine for his trade； which deals entirely
in second…hand volumes。 There is no second…hand bookshop in the world
more worthy of respect。
It was about six o'clock of a cold November evening； with gusts of
rain splattering upon the pavement； when a young man proceeded
uncertainly along Gissing Street； stopping now and then to look at shop
windows as though doubtful of his way。 At the warm and shining face of
a French rotisserie he halted to compare the number enamelled on the
transom with a memorandum in his hand。 Then he pushed on for a few
minutes； at last reaching the address he sought。 Over the entrance his eye
was caught by the sign：
PARNASSUS AT HOME R。 AND H。 MIFFLINBOOKLOVERS
WELCOME！ THIS SHOP IS HAUNTED
He stumbled down the three steps that led into the dwelling of the
muses； lowered his overcoat collar； and looked about。
It was very different from such bookstores as he had been accustomed
to patronize。 Two stories of the old house had been thrown into one： the
lower space was divided into little alcoves； above； a gallery ran round the
wall； which carried books to the ceiling。 The air was heavy with the
delightful fragrance of mellowed paper and leather surcharged with a
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THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP
strong bouquet of tobacco。 In front of him he found a large placard in a
frame：
THIS SHOP IS HAUNTED by the ghosts Of all great literature； in
hosts；
We sell no fakes or trashes。 Lovers of books are welcome here； No
clerks will babble in your ear；
Please smokebut don't drop ashes！ Browse as long as you like。
Prices of all books plainly marked。 If you want to ask questions； you'll
find the proprietor where the tobacco smoke is thickest。 We pay cash for
books。 We have what you want； though you may not know you want it。
Malnutrition of the reading faculty is a serious thing。
Let us prescribe for you。
By R。 & H。 MIFFLIN； Proprs。
The shop had a warm and comfortable obscurity； a kind of drowsy
dusk； stabbed here and there by bright cones of yellow light from green…
shaded electrics。 There was an all…pervasive drift of tobacco smoke；
which eddied and fumed under the glass lamp shades。 Passing down a
narrow aisle between the alcoves the visitor noticed that some of the
compartments were wholly in darkness； in others where lamps were
glowing he could see a table and chairs。 In one corner； under a sign
lettered ESSAYS； an elderly gentleman was reading； with a face of
fanatical ecstasy illumined by the sharp glare of electricity； but there was
no wreath of smoke about him so the newcomer concluded he was not the
proprietor。
As the young man approached the back of the shop the general effect
became more and more fantastic。 On some skylight far overhead he
could hear the rain drumming； but otherwise the place was completely
silent； peopled only （so it seemed） by the gurgitating whorls of smoke and
the bright profile of the essay reader。 It seemed like a secret fane； some
shrine of curious rites； and the young man's throat was tightened by a
stricture which was half agitation and half tobacco。 Towering above him
into the gloom were shelves and shelves of books； darkling toward the
roof。 He saw a table with a cylinder of brown paper and twine； evidently
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THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP
where purchases might be wrapped； but there was no sign of an attendant。
〃This place may indeed be haunted；〃 he thought； 〃perhaps by the
delighted soul of Sir Walter Raleigh； patron of the weed； but seemingly
not by the proprietors。〃
His eyes； searching the blue and vaporous vistas of the shop； were
caught by a circle of brightness that shone with a curious egg…like lustre。 It
was round and white； gleaming in the sheen of a hanging light； a bright
island in a surf of tobacco smoke。 He came more close； and found it was
a bald head。
This head （he then saw） surmounted a small； sharp…eyed man who sat
tilted back in a swivel chair； in a corner which seemed the nerve centre of
the establishment。 The large pigeon…holed desk in front of him was piled
high with volumes of all sorts； with tins of tobacco and newspaper
clippings and letters。 An antiquated typewriter； looking something like a
harpsichord； was half…buried in sheets of manuscript。 The little bald…
headed man was smoking a corn…cob pipe and reading a cookbook。
〃I beg your pardon；〃 said the caller； pleasantly； 〃is this the proprietor？〃
Mr。 Roger Mifflin； the proprietor of 〃Parnassus at Home；〃 looked up；
and the visitor saw that he had keen blue eyes； a short red beard； and a
convincing air of competent originality。
〃It is；〃 said Mr。 Mifflin。 〃Anything I can do for you？〃
〃My name is Aubrey Gilbert；〃 said the young man。 〃I am
representing the Grey…Matter Advertising Agency。 I want to discuss with
you the advisability of your letting us handle your advertising account；
prepare snappy copy for you； and place it in large circulation mediums。
Now the war's over； you ought to prepare some constructive campaign for
bigger business。〃
The bookseller's face beamed。 He put down his cookbook； blew an
expanding gust of smoke； and looked up brightly。
〃My dear chap；〃 he said； 〃I don't do any advertising。〃
〃Impossible！〃 cried the other； aghast as at some gratuitous indecency。
〃Not in the sense you mean。 Such advertising as benefits me most is
done for me by the snappiest copywriters in the business。〃
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THE HAUNTED BOOKSHOP
〃I suppose you refer to Whitewash and Gilt？〃 said Mr。 Gilbert
wistfully。
〃Not at all。 The people who are doing my advertising are Stevenson；
Browning； Conrad and Company。〃
〃Dear me；〃 said the Grey…Matter solicitor。 〃I don't know that agency
at all。 Still； I doubt if their copy has more pep than ours。〃
〃I don't think you get me。 I mean that my advertising is done by the
books I sell。 If I sell a man a book by Stevenson or Conrad； a book that
delights or terrifies him； that man and that book become my living
advertisements。〃
〃But that word…of…mouth advertising is exploded；〃 said Gilbert。 〃You
can't get Distribution that way。
You've got to keep your trademark before the public。〃
〃By the bones of Tauchnitz！〃 cried Mifflin。 〃Look here； you wouldn't
go to a doctor； a medical specialist； and tell him he ought to advertise in
papers and magazines？ A doctor is advertised by the bodies he cures。 My
business is advertised by the minds I stimulate。 And let me tell you that
the book business is different from other trades。 People don't know they
want books。 I can see just by looking at you that your mind is ill for lack
of books but you are bliss
