desperate remedies-第49节
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cannot think。 You shall hear again in a day or two; if it is no
better。 。 。Your loving brother; OWEN。'
This she answered; begging to know the worst; which she could bear;
but suspense and anxiety never。 In two days came another letter
from him; of which the subjoined paragraph is a portion:
'I had quite decided to let you know the worst; and to assure you
that it was the worst; before you wrote to ask it。 And again I give
you my word that I will conceal nothingso that there will be no
excuse whatever for your wearing yourself out with fears that I am
worse than I say。 This morning then; for the first time; I have
been obliged to stay away from the office。 Don't be frightened at
this; dear Cytherea。 Rest is all that is wanted; and by nursing
myself now for a week; I may avoid an illness of six months。'
After a visit from her he wrote again:
'Dr。 Chestman has seen me。 He said that the ailment was some sort
of rheumatism; and I am now undergoing proper treatment for its
cure。 My leg and foot have been placed in hot bran; liniments have
been applied; and also severe friction with a pad。 He says I shall
be as right as ever in a very short time。 Directly I am I shall run
up by the train to see you。 Don't trouble to come to me if Miss
Aldclyffe grumbles again about your being away; for I am going on
capitally。 。 。 。 You shall hear again at the end of the week。'
At the time mentioned came the following:
'I am sorry to tell you; because I know it will be so disheartening
after my last letter; that I am not so well as I was then; and that
there has been a sort of hitch in the proceedings。 After I had been
treated for rheumatism a few days longer (in which treatment they
pricked the place with a long needle several times;) I saw that Dr。
Chestman was in doubt about something; and I requested that he would
call in a brother professional man to see me as well。 They
consulted together and then told me that rheumatism was not the
disease after all; but erysipelas。 They then began treating it
differently; as became a different matter。 Blisters; flour; and
starch; seem to be the order of the day nowmedicine; of course;
besides。
'Mr。 Gradfield has been in to inquire about me。 He says he has been
obliged to get a designer in my place; which grieves me very much;
though; of course; it could not be avoided。'
A month passed away; throughout this period; Cytherea visited him as
often as the limited time at her command would allow; and wore as
cheerful a countenance as the womanly determination to do nothing
which might depress him could enable her to wear。 Another letter
from him then told her these additional facts:
'The doctors find they are again on the wrong tack。 They cannot
make out what the disease is。 O Cytherea! how I wish they knew!
This suspense is wearing me out。 Could not Miss Aldclyffe spare you
for a day? Do come to me。 We will talk about the best course then。
I am sorry to complain; but I am worn out。〃
Cytherea went to Miss Aldclyffe; and told her of the melancholy turn
her brother's illness had taken。 Miss Aldclyffe at once said that
Cytherea might go; and offered to do anything to assist her which
lay in her power。 Cytherea's eyes beamed gratitude as she turned to
leave the room; and hasten to the station。
'O; Cytherea;' said Miss Aldclyffe; calling her back; 'just one
word。 Has Mr。 Manston spoken to you lately?'
'Yes;' said Cytherea; blushing timorously。
'He proposed?'
'Yes。'
'And you refused him?'
'Yes。'
'Tut; tut! Now listen to my advice;' said Miss Aldclyffe
emphatically; 'and accept him before he changes his mind。 The
chance which he offers you of settling in life is one that may
possibly; probably; not occur again。 His position is good and
secure; and the life of his wife would be a happy one。 You may not
be sure that you love him madly; but suppose you are not sure? My
father used to say to me as a child when he was teaching me whist;
〃When in doubt win the trick!〃 That advice is ten times as valuable
to a woman on the subject of matrimony。 In refusing a man there is
always the risk that you may never get another offer。'
'Why didn't you win the trick when you were a girl?' said Cytherea。
'Come; my lady Pert; I'm not the text;' said Miss Aldclyffe; her
face glowing like fire。
Cytherea laughed stealthily。
'I was about to say;' resumed Miss Aldclyffe severely; 'that here is
Mr。 Manston waiting with the tenderest solicitude for you; and you
overlooking it; as if it were altogether beneath you。 Think how you
might benefit your sick brother if you were Mrs。 Manston。 You will
please me VERY MUCH by giving him some encouragement。 You
understand me; Cythie dear?'
Cytherea was silent。
'And;' said Miss Aldclyffe; still more emphatically; 'on your
promising that you will accept him some time this year; I will take
especial care of your brother。 You are listening; Cytherea?'
'Yes;' she whispered; leaving the room。
She went to Budmouth; passed the day with her brother; and returned
to Knapwater wretched and full of foreboding。 Owen had looked
startlingly thin and palethinner and paler than ever she had seen
him before。 The brother and sister had that day decided that
notwithstanding the drain upon their slender resources; another
surgeon should see him。 Time was everything。
Owen told her the result in his next letter:
'The three practitioners between them have at last hit the nail on
the head; I hope。 They probed the place; and discovered that the
secret lay in the bone。 I underwent an operation for its removal
three days ago (after taking chloroform)。 。 。 Thank God it is over。
Though I am so weak; my spirits are rather better。 I wonder when I
shall be at work again? I asked the surgeons how long it would be
first。 I said a month? They shook their heads。 A year? I said。
Not so long; they said。 Six months? I inquired。 They would not; or
could not; tell me。 But never mind。
'Run down; when you have half a day to spare; for the hours drag on
so drearily。 O Cytherea; you can't think how drearily!'
She went。 Immediately on her departure Miss Aldclyffe sent a note
to the Old House; to Manston。 On the maiden's return; tired and
sick at heart as usual; she found Manston at the station awaiting
her。 He asked politely if he might accompany her to Knapwater。 She
tacitly acquiesced。 During their walk he inquired the particulars
of her brother's illness; and with an irresistible desire to pour
out her trouble to some one; she told him of the length of time
which must elapse before he could be strong again; and of the lack
of comfort in lodgings。
Manston was silent awhile。 Then he said impetuously: 'Miss Graye;
I will not mince mattersI love youyou know it。 Stratagem they
say is fair in love; and I am compelled to adopt it now。 Forgive
me; for I cannot help it。 Consent to be my wife at any time that
may suit youany remote day you may name will satisfy meand you
shall find him well provided for。'
For the first time in her life she truly dreaded the handsome man at
her side who pleaded thus selfishly; and shrank from the hot
voluptuous nature of his passion for her; which; disguise it as he
might under a quiet and polished exterior; at times radiated forth
with a scorching white heat。 She perceived how animal was the love
which bargained。
'I do not love you; Mr。 Manston;' she replied coldly。
5。 FROM THE FIRST TO THE TWENTY…SEVENTH OF AUGUST
The long sunny days of the later summer…time brought only the same
dreary accounts from Budmouth; and saw Cytherea paying the same sad
visits。
She grew perceptibly weaker; in body and mind。 Manston still
persisted in his suit; but with more of his former indirectness; now
that he saw how unexpectedly well she stood an open attack。 His was
the system of Dares at the Sicilian games
'He; like a captain who beleaguers round
Some strong…built castle on a rising ground;
Views all the approaches with observing eyes;
This and that other part again he tries;
And more on industry than force relies。'
Miss Aldclyffe made it appear more clearly than ever that aid to
Owen from herself depended entirely upon Cytherea's acceptance of
her steward。 Hemmed in and distressed; Cytherea's answers to his
importunities grew less uniform; they were firm; or wavering; as
Owen's malady fluctuated。 Had a register of her pitiful
oscillations been kept; it would have rivalled in pathos the diary
wherein De Quincey tabulates his combat with Opiumperhaps as
noticeable an instance as any in which a thrilling dramatic power
has been given to mere numerals。 Thus she wearily and monotonously
lived through the month; listening on Sundays to the wellknown round
of chapters narrating the history of Elijah and Elisha in famine and
drought; on week…days to buzzing flies in hot sunny rooms。 'So
like; so very like; was day to day。' Extreme lassitude seemed all
that the world could show her。
Her state was in this wise; when one afternoon; having been with her
brother; she met the surgeon; and begged him to tell the actual
truth concerning Owen's con