desperate remedies-第47节
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Having risen an hour earlier than was usual with her； Cytherea sat
at the window of an elegant little sitting…room on the ground floor；
which had been appropriated to her by the kindness or whim of Miss
Aldclyffe； that she might not be driven into that lady's presence
against her will。 She leant with her face on her hand； looking out
into the gloomy grey air。 A yellow glimmer from the flapping flame
of the newly…lit fire fluttered on one side of her face and neck
like a butterfly about to settle there； contrasting warmly with the
other side of the same fair face； which received from the window the
faint cold morning light； so weak that her shadow from the fire had
a distinct outline on the window…shutter in spite of it。 There the
shadow danced like a demon； blue and grim。
The contradiction alluded to was that in spite of the decisive mood
which two months earlier in the year had caused her to write a
peremptory and final letter to Edward； she was now hoping for some
answer other than the only possible one a man who； as she held； did
not love her wildly； could send to such a communication。 For a
lover who did love wildly； she had left one little loophole in her
otherwise straightforward epistle。 Why she expected the letter on
some morning of this particular week was； that hearing of his return
to Carriford； she fondly assumed that he meant to ask for an
interview before he left。 Hence it was； too； that for the last few
days； she had not been able to keep in bed later than the time of
the postman's arrival。
The clock pointed to half…past seven。 She saw the postman emerge
from beneath the bare boughs of the park trees； come through the
wicket； dive through the shrubbery； reappear on the lawn； stalk
across it without reference to pathsas country postmen doand
come to the porch。 She heard him fling the bag down on the seat；
and turn away towards the village； without hindering himself for a
single pace。
Then the butler opened the door； took up the bag； brought it in； and
carried it up the staircase to place it on the slab by Miss
Aldclyffe's dressing…room door。 The whole proceeding had been
depicted by sounds。
She had a presentiment that her letter was in the bag at last。 She
thought then in diminishing pulsations of confidence； 'He asks to
see me！ Perhaps he asks to see me： I hope he asks to see me。'
A quarter to eight： Miss Aldclyffe's bellrather earlier than
usual。 'She must have heard the post…bag brought；' said the maiden；
as； tired of the chilly prospect outside； she turned to the fire；
and drew imaginative pictures of her future therein。
A tap came to the door； and the lady's…maid entered。
'Miss Aldclyffe is awake；' she said； 'and she asked if you were
moving yet； miss。'
'I'll run up to her；' said Cytherea； and flitted off with the
utterance of the words。 'Very fortunate this；' she thought； 'I
shall see what is in the bag this morning all the sooner。'
She took it up from the side table； went into Miss Aldclyffe's
bedroom； pulled up the blinds； and looked round upon the lady in
bed； calculating the minutes that must elapse before she looked at
her letters。
'Well； darling； how are you？ I am glad you have come in to see me；'
said Miss Aldclyffe。 'You can unlock the bag this morning； child；
if you like；' she continued； yawning factitiously。
'Strange！' Cytherea thought； 'it seems as if she knew there was
likely to be a letter for me。'
From her bed Miss Aldclyffe watched the girl's face as she
tremblingly opened the post…bag and found there an envelope
addressed to her in Edward's handwriting； one he had written the day
before； after the decision he had come to on an impartial； and on
that account torturing； survey of his own； his father's； his cousin
Adelaide's； and what he believed to be Cytherea's； position。
The haughty mistress's soul sickened remorsefully within her when
she saw suddenly appear upon the speaking countenance of the young
lady before her a wan desolate look of agony。
The master…sentences of Edward's letter were these： 'You speak
truly。 That we never meet again is the wisest and only proper
course。 That I regret the past as much as you do yourself； it is
hardly necessary for me to say。'
XII。 THE EVENTS OF TEN MONTHS
1。 DECEMBER TO APRIL
Week after week； month after month； the time had flown by。
Christmas had passed； dreary winter with dark evenings had given
place to more dreary winter with light evenings。 Thaws had ended in
rain； rain in wind； wind in dust。 Showery days had comethe period
of pink dawns and white sunsets； with the third week in April the
cuckoo had appeared； with the fourth； the nightingale。
Edward Springrove was in London； attending to the duties of his new
office； and it had become known throughout the neighbourhood of
Carriford that the engagement between himself and Miss Adelaide
Hinton would terminate in marriage at the end of the year。
The only occasion on which her lover of the idle delicious days at
Budmouth watering…place had been seen by Cytherea after the time of
the decisive correspondence； was once in church； when he sat in
front of her； and beside Miss Hinton。
The rencounter was quite an accident。 Springrove had come there in
the full belief that Cytherea was away from home with Miss
Aldclyffe； and he continued ignorant of her presence throughout the
service。
It is at such moments as these； when a sensitive nature writhes
under the conception that its most cherished emotions have been
treated with contumely； that the sphere…descended Maid； Music；
friend of Pleasure at other times； becomes a positive enemy
racking； bewildering； unrelenting。 The congregation sang the first
Psalm and came to the verse
'Like some fair tree which； fed by streams；
With timely fruit doth bend；
He still shall flourish； and success
All his designs attend。'
Cytherea's lips did not move； nor did any sound escape her； but
could she help singing the words in the depths of her being；
although the man to whom she applied them sat at her rival's side？
Perhaps the moral compensation for all a woman's petty cleverness
under thriving conditions is the real nobility that lies in her
extreme foolishness at these other times； her sheer inability to be
simply just； her exercise of an illogical power entirely denied to
men in generalthe power not only of kissing； but of delighting to
kiss the rod by a punctilious observance of the self…immolating
doctrines in the Sermon on the Mount。
As for Edwarda little like other men of his temperament； to whom；
it is somewhat humiliating to think； the aberrancy of a given love
is in itself a recommendationhis sentiment； as he looked over his
cousin's book； was of a lower rank； Horatian rather than Psalmodic
'O； what hast thou of her； of her
Whose every look did love inspire；
Whose every breathing fanned my fire；
And stole me from myself away！'
Then； without letting him see her； Cytherea slipt out of church
early； and went home； the tones of the organ still lingering in her
ears as she tried bravely to kill a jealous thought that would
nevertheless live： 'My nature is one capable of more； far more；
intense feeling than hers！ She can't appreciate all the sides of
himshe never will！ He is more tangible to me even now； as a
thought； than his presence itself is to her！' She was less noble
then。
But she continually repressed her misery and bitterness of heart
till the effort to do so showed signs of lessening。 At length she
even tried to hope that her lost lover and her rival would love one
another very dearly。
The scene and the sentiment dropped into the past。 Meanwhile；
Manston continued visibly before her。 He； though quiet and subdued
in his bearing for a long time after the calamity of November； had
not simulated a grief that he did not feel。 At first his loss
seemed so to absorb himthough as a startling change rather than as
a heavy sorrowthat he paid Cytherea no attention whatever。 His
conduct was uniformly kind and respectful； but little more。 Then；
as the date of the catastrophe grew remoter； he began to wear a
different aspect towards her。 He always contrived to obliterate by
his manner all recollection on her side that she was comparatively
more dependent than himselfmaking much of her womanhood； nothing
of her situation。 Prompt to aid her whenever occasion offered； and
full of delightful petits soins at all times； he was not officious。
In this way he irresistibly won for himself a position as her
friend； and the more easily in that he allowed not the faintest
symptom of the old love to be apparent。
Matters stood thus in the middle of the spring when the next move on
his behalf was made by Miss Aldclyffe。
2。 THE THIRD OF MAY
She led Cytherea to a summer…house called the Fane； built in the
private grounds about the mansion in the form of a Grecian temple；
it overlooked the lake； the island on it； the trees； and their
undisturbed reflection in the smooth still water。 Here the old and
young maid halted； here they stood； side by side； mentally imbibing
the scene。
The month was Maythe time
