april hopes-第53节

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〃Mrs。　Pasmer；〃　said　Dan；　〃you　and　I　are　the　only　frank　and　open　people　I
know。　　Well；　she　began　to　talk　last　night　about　influencethe　influence
of　other　people　on　us；　and　she　killed　off　nearly　all　the　people　I　like
before　I　knew　what　she　was　up　to；　and　she　finished　with　Mrs。　Brinkley。
I'm　glad　she　didn't　happen　to　think　of　you；　Mrs。　Pasmer；　or　I　shouldn't　be
associating　with　you　at　the　present　moment。〃　　This　idea　seemed　to　give
Mrs。　Pasmer　inexpressible　pleasure。　　Dan　went　on：　〃Do　you　quite　see　the
connection　between　our　being　entirely　devoted　to　each　other　and　my
dropping　Mrs。　Brinkley？〃

〃I　don't　know；〃　said　Mrs。　Pasmer。　　〃Alice　doesn't　like　satirical　people。〃

〃Well；　of　course　not。　　But　Mrs。　Brinkley　is　such　an　admirer　of　hers。〃

〃I　dare　say　she　tells　you　so。〃

〃Oh；　but　she　is！〃

〃I　don't　deny　it；〃　said　Mrs。　Pasmer。　　〃But　if　Alice　feels　something
inimicalantipaticoin　her　atmosphere；　it's　no　use　talking。〃

〃Oh　no；　it's　no　use　talking；　and　I　don't　know　that　I　want　to　talk。〃　　After
a　pause；　Mavering　asked；　〃Mrs。　Pasmer；　don't　you　think　that　where　two
people　are　going　to　be　entirely　devoted　to　each　other；　and　self…
sacrificing　to　each　other；　they　ought　to　divide；　and　one　do　all　the
devotion；　and　the　other　all　the　self…sacrifice？〃

Mrs。　Pasmer　was　amused　by　the　droll　look　in　Dan's　eyes。　　〃I　think　they
ought　to　be　willing　to　share　evenly；〃　she　said。

〃Yes；　that's　what　I　sayshare　and　share　alike。　　I'm　not　selfish　about
those　little　things。〃　　He　blew　off　a　long　sighing　breath。　　〃Mrs。　Pasmer；
don't　you　think　we　ought　to　have　an　ideal　of　conduct？〃

Mrs。　Pasmer　abandoned　herself　to　laughter。　　〃O　Dan！　Dan！　　You　will　be　the
death　of　me。〃

〃We　will　die　together；　then；　Mrs。　Pasmer。　　Alice　will　kill　me。〃　　He
regarded　her　with　a　sad　sympathy　in　his　eye　as　she　laughed　and　laughed
with　delicious　intelligence　of　the　case。　　The　intelligence　was　perfect；
from　their　point　of　view；　but　whether　it　fathomed　the　girl's　whole
intention　or　aspiration　is　another　matter。　　Perhaps　this　was　not　very
clear　to　herself。　　At　any　rate；　Mavering　did　not　go　any　more　to　see　Mrs。
Brinkley；　whose　house　he　had　liked　to　drop　into。　　Alice　went　several
times；　to　show；　she　said；　that　she　had　no　feeling　in　the　matter；　and　Mrs。
Brinkley；　when　she　met　Dan；　forbore　to　embarrass　him　with　questions　or
reproaches；　she　only　praised　Alice　to　him。

There　were　not　many　other　influences　that　Alice　cut　him　off　from；　she　even
exposed　him　to　some　influences　that　might　have　been　thought　deleterious。
She　made　him　go　and　call　alone　upon　certain　young　ladies　whom　she
specified；　and　she　praised　several　others　to　him；　though　she　did　not
praise　them　for　the　same　things　that　he　did。　　One　of　them　was　a　girl　to
whom　Alice　had　taken　a　great　fancy；　such　as　often　buds　into　a　romantic
passion　between　women；　she　was　very　gentle　and　mild；　and　she　had　none　of
that　strength　of　will　which　she　admired　in　Alice。　　One　night　there　was　a
sleighing　party　to　a　hotel　in　the　suburbs；　where　they　had　dancing　and　then
supper。　　After　the　supper　they　danced　〃Little　Sally　Waters〃　for　a　finale；
instead　of　the　Virginia　Reel；　and　Alice　would　not　go　on　the　floor　with
Dan；　she　said　she　disliked　that　dance；　but　she　told　him　to　dance　with　Miss
Langham。　　It　became　a　gale　of　fun；　and　in　the　height　of　it　Dan　slipped　and
fell　with　his　partner。　　They　laughed　it　off；　with　the　rest；　but　after　a
while　the　girl　began　to　cry；　she　had　received　a　painful　bruise。　　All　the
way　home；　while　the　others　laughed　and　sang　and　chattered；　Dan　was
troubled　about　this　poor　girl；　his　anxiety　became　a　joke　with　the　whole
sleighful　of　people。

When　he　parted　with　Alice　at　her　door；　he　said；　〃I'm　afraid　I　hurt　Miss
Langham；　I　feel　awfully　about　it。〃

〃Yes；　there's　no　doubt　of　that。　　Good　night！〃

She　left　him　to　go　off　to　his　lodging；　hot　and　tingling　with　indignation
at　her　injustice。　　But　kindlier　thoughts　came　to　him　before　he　slept；　and
he　fell　asleep　with　a　smile　of　tenderness　for　her　on　his　lips。　　He　could
see　how　he　was　wrong　to　go　out　with　any　one　else　when　Alice　said　she
disliked　the　dance；　he　ought　not　to　have　taken　advantage　of　her　generosity
in　appointing　him　a　partner；　it　was　trying　for　her　to　see　him　make　that
ludicrous　tumble；　of　course；　and　perhaps　he　had　overdone　the　attentive
sympathy　on　the　way　home。　　It　flattered　him　that　she　could　not　help
showing　her　jealousythat　is　flattering；　at　first；　and　Dan　was　able　to　go
and　confess　all　but　this　to　Alice。　　She　received　his　submission
magnanimously；　and　said　that　she　was　glad　it　had　happened；　because　his
saying　this　showed　that　now　they　understood　each　other　perfectly。　　Then
she　fixed　her　eyes　on　his；　and　said；　〃I've　just　been　round　to　see　Lilly；
and　she's　as　well　as　ever；　it　was　only　a　nervous　shock。〃

Whether　Mavering　was　really　indifferent　to　Miss　Langham's　condition；　or
whether　the　education　of　his　perceptions　had　gone　so　far　that　he
consciously　ignored　her；　he　answered；　〃That　was　splendid　of　you；　Alice。〃

〃No；〃　she　said；　〃it's　you　that　are　splendid；　and　you　always　are。　　Oh；　I
wonder　if　I　can　ever　be　worthy　of　you！〃

Their　mutual　forgiveness　was　very　sweet　to　them；　and　they　went　on　praising
each　other。　　Alice　suddenly　broke　away　from　this　weakening　exchange　of
worship；　and　said；　with　that　air　of　coming　to　business　which　he　lad
learned　to　recognise　and　dread　a　little；　〃Dan；　don't　you　think　I　ought　to
write　to　your　mother？〃

〃Write　to　my　mother？〃　　Why；　you　have　written　to　her。　　You　wrote　as　soon　as
you　got　back；　and　she　answered　you。〃

〃Yes；　but　write　regularly？Show　that　I　think　of　her　all　the　time？〃　　When
I　really　think　I'm　going　to　take　you　from　her；　I　seem　so　cruel　and
heartless！〃

〃Oh；　I　don't　look　at　it　in　that　light；　Alice。〃

〃Don't　joke！　　And　when　I　think　that　we're　going　away　to　leave　her；　for
several　years；　perhaps；　as　soon　as　we're　married；　I　can't　make　it　seem
right。　　I　know　how　she　depends　upon　your　being　near　her；　and　seeing　her
every　now　and　then；　and　to　go　off　to　Europe　for　years；　perhapsOf　course
you　can　be　of　use　to　your　father　there；　but　do　you　think　it's　right　toward
your　mother？　　I　want　you　to　think。〃

Dan　thought；　but　his　thinking　was　mainly　to　the　effect　that　he　did　not
know　what　she　was　driving　at。　　Had　she　got　any　inkling　of　that　plan　of　his
mother's　for　them　to　come　and　stay　a　year　or　two　at　the　Falls　after　their
marriage？　　He　always　expected　to　be　able　to　reconcile　that　plan　with　the
Pasmer　plan　of　going　at　once；　to　his　optimism　the　two　were　not　really
incompatible；　but　he　did　not　wish　them　prematurely　confronted　in　Alice's
mind。　　Was　this　her　way　of　letting　him　know　that　she　knew　what　his　mother
wished；　and　that　she　was　willing　to　make　the　sacrifice？　　Or　was　it　just
some　vague　longing　to　please　him　by　a　show　of　affection　toward　his　family；
an　unmeditated　impulse　of　reparation？　　He　had　an　impulse　himself　to　be
frank　with　Alice；　to　take　her　at　her　word；　and　to　allow　that　he　did　not
like　the　notion　of　going　abroad。　　This　was　Dan's　notion　of　being　frank；　he
could　still　reserve　the　fact　that　he　had　given　his　mother　a　tacit　promise
to　bring　Alice　home　to　live；　but　he　postponed　even　this。　　He　said：　〃Oh；　I
guess　that'll　be　all　right；　Alice。　　At　any　rate；　there's　no　need　to　think
about　it　yet　awhile。　　That　can　be　arranged。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Alice；　〃but　don't　you　think　I'd　better　get　into　the　habit　of
writing　regularly　to　your　mother　now；　so　that　there　needn't　be　any　break
when　we　go　abroad？〃　　He　could　see　now　that　she　had　no　idea　of　giving　that
plan　up；　and　he　was　glad　that　he　had　not　said　anything。　　〃I　think；〃　she
continued；　〃that　I　shall　write　to　her　once　a　week；　and　give　her　a　full
account　of　our　life　from　day　to　day；　it'll　be　more　like　a　diary；　and　then；
when　we　get　over　there；　I　can　keep　it　up　without　any　effort；　and　she　won't
feel　so　much　that　you've　gone。〃

She　seemed　to　refer　the　plan　to　him；　and　he　said　it　was　capital。　　In　fact；
he　did　like　the　notion　of　a　diary；　that　sort　of　historical　view　would
involve　less　danger　of　precipitating　a　discussion　of　the　two　schemes　of
life　for　the　future。　　〃It's　awfully　kind　of　you；　Alice；　to　propose　such　a
thing；　and　you　mustn't　make　it　a　burden。　　Any　sort　of　little　sketchy
record　will　do；　mother　can　read　between　the　lines；　you　know。〃

〃It　won't　be　a　burden；〃　said　the　girl　tenderly。　　〃I　shall　seem　to　be　doing
it　for　your　mother；　but　I　know　I　shall　be　doing　it　for　you。　　I　do
everything　for　you。　　Do　you　think　it's　right？〃

〃Oh；　it　must　be；〃　said　Dan；　laughing。　　〃It's　so　pleasant。〃

〃Oh；〃　said　the　girl　gloomily；　〃that's　what　makes　me　doubt　it。〃




XLII。

Eunice　Mavering　acknowledged　Alice's　first　letter。　　She　said　that　her
mother　read　it　aloud　to　them　all；　and　had　been　delighted　with　the　good
account　she　gave　of　Dan；　and　fascinated　with　all　the　story　of　their　daily
doings　and　sayings。　　She　wished　Eunice　to　tell　Alice　how　fully　she
appreciated　her　thoughtfulness　of　a　sick　old　woman；　and　that　she　was　going
to　write　herself　and　thank　her。　　But　Eunice　added　that　Alice　must　not　be
surprised　if　her　mother　was　not　very　prompt　in　this；　and　she　sent　messages
from　all　the　family；　affectionate　for　Alice；　and　polite　for　her　father　and
mother。

Alice　showed　Dan　the　letter；　and　he　seemed　to