april hopes-第48节

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Mavering　haughtily。　　〃I'm　speaking　to　a　friend；　not　an　interviewer。　　Well；
whom　should　I　see　after　the　first　waltzI'd　been　dancing　with　Alice；　and
we　were　taking　a　turn　through　the　drawing…room；　and　she　hanging　on　my　arm；
and　I　knew　everybody　saw　how　it　was；　and　I　was　feeling　wellwhom　should　I
see　but　these　women。　　They　were　in　a　corner　by　themselves；　looking　at　a
picture；　and　trying　to　look　as　if　they　were　doing　it　voluntarily。　　But　I
could　see　at　a　glance　that　they　didn't　know　anybody；　and　I　knew　they　had
better　be　in　the　heart　of　the　Sahara　without　acquaintances　than　where　they
were；　and　when　they　bowed　forlornly　across　the　room　to　me；　my　heart　was　in
my　mouth；　I　felt　so　sorry　for　them；　and　I　told　Alice　who　they　were；　and　I
supposed　she'd　want　to　rush　right　over　to　them　with　me〃

〃And　did　she　rush？〃　asked　Boardman；　filling　up　a　pause　which　Mavering　made
in　wiping　his　face。

〃How　infernally　hot　you　have　it　in　here！〃　　He　went　to　the　window　and　threw
it　up；　and　then　did　not　sit　down　again；　but　continued　to　walk　back　and
forth　as　he　talked。　　〃She　didn't　seem　to　know　who　they　were　at　first；　and
when　I　made　her　understand　she　hung　back；　and　said；　'Those　showy　things？'
and　I　must　say　I　think　she　was　wrong；　they　were　dressed　as　quietly　as
nine…tenths　of　the　people　there；　only　they　are　rather　large；　handsome
women。　　I　said　I　thought　we　ought　to　go　and　speak　to　them；　they　seemed
stranded　there；　but　she　didn't　seem　to　see　it；　and；　when　I　persisted；　she
said；　'　Well；　you　go　if　you　think　best；　but　take　me　to　mamma。'　　And　I
supposed　it　was　all　right；　and　I　told　Mrs。　Pasmer　I'd　be　back　in　a　minute；
and　then　I　went　off　to　those　women。　　And　after　I'd　talked　with　them　a
while　I　saw　Mrs。　Brinkley　sitting　with　old　Bromfield　Corey　in　another
corner；　and　I　got　them　across　and　introduced　them；　after　I'd　explained　to
Mrs。　Brinkley　who　they　were；　and　they　began　to　have　a　good　time；　and　I
didn't。〃

〃Just　so；〃　said　Boardman。

〃I　thought　I　hadn't　been　gone　any　while　at　all　from　Alice；　but　the　weather
had　changed　by　the　time　I　had　got　back。　　Alice　was　pretty　serious；　and　she
was　engaged　two　or　three　dances　deep；　and　I　could　see　her　looking　over　the
fellows'　shoulders；　as　she　went　round　and　round；　pretty　pale。　　I　hung
about　till　she　was　free；　but　then　she　couldn't　dance　with　me；　she　said　her
head　ached；　and　she　made　her　mother　take　her　home　before　supper；　and　I
mooned　round　like　my　own　ghost　a　while；　and　then　I　went　home。　　And　as　if
that　wasn't　enough；　I　could　see　by　the　looks　of　those　other　womenold
Corey　forgot　Miss　Wrayne　in　the　supper…room；　and　I　had　to　take　her　back
that　I　hadn't　made　it　right　with　them；　even；　they　were　as　hard　and　smooth
as　glass。　　I'd　ruined　myself；　and　ruined　myself　for　nothing。〃

Mavering　flung　Boardman's　chair　over；　and　seated　himself　on　its　rungs。

〃I　went　to　bed；　and　waited　for　the　next　thing　to　happen。　　I　found　my
thunderbolt　waiting　for　me　when　I　woke　up。　　I　didn't　know　what　it　was
going　to　be；　but　when　I　felt　a　ring　through　the　envelope　of　that　note　I
knew　what　it　was。　　I　mind…read　that　note　before　I　opened　it。〃

〃Give　it　to　the　Society　for　Psychical　Research；〃　suggested　Boardman。
〃Been　to　breakfast？〃

〃Breakfast！〃　echoed　Mavering。　　〃Well；　now；　Boardman；　what　use　do　you
suppose　I've　got　for　breakfast　under　the　circumstances？〃

〃Well；　not　very　much；　but　your　story's　made　me　pretty　hungry。　　Would　you
mind　turning　your　back；　or　going　out　and　sitting　on　the　top　step　of　the
stairs'　landing；　or　something；　while　I　get　up　and　dress？〃

〃Oh；　I　can　go；　if　you　want　to　get　rid　of　me；〃　said　Mavering；　with
unresentful　sadness。　　〃But　I　hoped　you　might　have　something　to　suggest；
Boardy。'

〃Well；　I've　suggested　two　things；　and　you　don't　like　either。　　Why　not　go
round　and　ask　to　see　the　old　lady？〃

〃Mrs。　Pasmer？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Well；　I　thought　of　that。　　But　I　didn't　like　to　mention　it；　for　fear　you'd
sit　on　it。　　When　would　you　go？〃

〃Well；　about　as　quick　as　I　could　get　there。　　It's　early　for　a　call；　but
it's　a　peculiar　occasion；　and　it'll　show　your　interest　in　the　thing。　　You
can't　very　well　let　it　cool　on　your　hands；　unless　you　mean　to　accept　the
situation。〃

〃What　do　you　mean？〃　demanded　Mavering；　getting　up　and　standing　over
Boardman。　　〃Do　you　think　I　could　accept　the　situation；　as　you　call　it；　and
live？〃

〃You　did　once；〃　said　Boardman。　　〃You　couldn't；　unless　you　could　fix　it　up
with　Mrs。　Frobisher's　sister。〃

Mavering　blushed。　　〃It　was　a　different　thing　altogether　then。　　I　could
have　broken　off　then；　but　I　tell　you　it　would　kill　me　now。　　I've　got　in
too　deep。　　My　whole　life's　set　on　that　girl。　　You　can't　understand；
Boardman；　because　you've　never　been　there；　but　I　couldn't　give　her　up。〃

〃All　right。　　Better　go　and　see　the　old　lady　without　loss　of　time；　or　the
old　man；　if　you　prefer。〃

Mavering　sat　down　on　the　edge　of　the　bed　again。　　〃Look　here；　Boardman；
what　do　you　mean？〃

〃By　what？〃

〃By　being　so　confoundedly　heartless。　　Did　you　suppose　that　I　wanted　to　pay
those　women　any　attention　last　night　from　an　interested　motive？〃

〃Seems　to　have　been　Miss　Pasmer's　impression。〃

〃Well；　you're　mistaken。　　She　had　no　such　impression。　　She　would　have　too
much　self…respect；　too　much　pridemagnanimity。　　She　would　know　that　after
such　a　girl　as　she　is　I　couldn't　think　of　any　other　woman；　the　thing　is
simply　impossible。〃

〃That's　the　theory。〃

〃Theory？　　It's　the　practice！〃

〃Certain　exceptions。〃

〃There's　no　exception　in　my　case。　　No；　sir！　　I　tell　you　this　thing　is　for
all　timefor　eternity。　　It　makes　me　or　it　mars　me；　once　for　all。　　She　may
listen　to　me　or　she　may　not　listen；　but　as　long　as　she　lives　there's　no
other　woman　alive　for　me。〃

〃Better　go　and　tell　her　so。　　You're　wasting　your　arguments　on　me。〃

〃Why？〃

〃Because　I'm　convinced　already。　　Because　people　always　marry　their　first
and　only　loves。　　Because　people　never　marry　twice　for　love。　　Because　I've
never　seen　you　hit　before；　and　I　know　you　never　could　be　again。　　Now　go
and　convince　Miss　Pasmer。　　She'll　believe　you；　because　she'll　know　that
she　can　never　care　for　any　one　but　you；　and　you　naturally　can't　care　for
anybody　but　her。　　It's　a　perfectly　clear　case。　　All　you've　got　to　do　is　to
set　it　before　her。〃

〃If　I　were　you；　I　wouldn't　try　to　work　that　cynical　racket；　Boardman；〃
said　Mavering。　　He　rose；　but　he　sighed　drearily；　and　regarded　Boardman's
grin　with　lack…lustre　absence。　　But　he　went　away　without　saying　anything
more；　and　walked　mechanically　toward　the　Cavendish。　　As　he　rang　at　the
door　of　Mrs。　Pasmer's　apartments　he　recalled　another　early　visit　he　had
paid　there；　he　thought　how　joyful　and　exuberant　he　was　then；　and　how
crushed　and　desperate　now。　　He　was　not　without　youthful　satisfaction　in
the　disparity　of　his　different　moods；　it　seemed　to　stamp　him　as　a　man　of
large　and　varied　experience。




XXXVIII。

Mrs。　Pasmer　was　genuinely　surprised　to　see　Mavering；　and　he　pursued　his
advantageif　it　was　an　advantageby　coming　directly　to　the　point。　　He
took　it　for　granted　that　she　knew　all　about　the　matter；　and　he　threw
himself　upon　her　mercy　without　delay。

〃Mrs。　Pasmer；　you　must　help　me　about　this　business　with　Alice；〃　he　broke
out　at　once。　　〃I　don't　know　what　to　make　of　it；　but　I　know　I　can　explain
it。　　Of　course；〃　he　added；　smiling　ruefully；　〃the　two　statements　don't
hang　together；　but　what　I　mean　is　that　if　I　can　find　out　what　the　trouble
is；　I　can　make　it　all　right；　because　there's　nothing　wrong　about　it；　don't
you　see？〃

Mrs。　Pasmer　tried　to　keep　the　mystification　out　of　her　eye；　but　she　could
not　even　succeed　in　seeming　to　do　so；　which　she　would　have　liked　almost　as
well。

〃Don't　you　know　what　I　mean？〃　asked　Dan。

Mrs。　Pasmer　chanced　it。　　〃That　Alice　was　a　little　out　of　sorts　last
night？〃　she　queried　leadingly。

〃Yes；〃　said　Mavering　fervently。　　〃And　about　herher　writing　to　me。〃

〃Writing　to　you？〃　Mrs。　Pasmer　was　going　to　ask；　when　Dan　gave　her　the
letter。

〃I　don't　know　whether　I　ought　to　show　it；　but　I　must。　　I　must　have　your
help；　and　I　can't；　unless　you　understand　the　case。〃

Mrs。　Pasmer　had　begun　to　read　the　note。　　It　explained　what　the　girl
herself　had　refused　to　give　any　satisfactory　reason　forher　early
retirement　from　the　reception；　her　mysterious　disappearance　into　her　own
room　on　reaching　home；　and　her　resolute　silence　on　the　way。　　Mrs。　Pasmer
had　known　that　there　must　be　some　trouble　with　Dan；　and　she　had　suspected
that　Alice　was　vexed　with　him　on　account　of　those　women；　but　it　was　beyond
her　cheerful　imagination　that　she　should　go　to　such　lengths　in　her
resentment。　　She　could　conceive　of　her　wishing　to　punish　him；　to　retaliate
her　suffering　on　him；　but　to　renounce　him　for　it　was　another　thing；　and
she　did　not　attribute　to　her　daughter　any　other　motive　than　she　would　have
felt　herself。　　It　was　always　this　way　with　Mrs。　Pasmer：　she　followed　her
daughter　accurately　up　to　a　certain　point；　beyond　that　she　did　not　believe
the　girl　knew　herself　what　she　meant；　and　perhaps　she　was　not　altogether
wrong。　　Girlhood　is　often　a　turmoil　of　wild　impulses；　ignorant
exaltations；　mistaken　ideals；　which　really　represent　no　intelligent
purpose；　and　come　from　disordered　nerves；　ill…advised　reading；　and　the
erroneous　perspective