april hopes-第36节

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〃They　were　trying　to　get　away　in　the　excitement；　I　guess；　Mrs。　Pasmer；　I
found　them　behind　the　door。〃　　He　had　flung　them　there；　without　knowing　it；
when　Mrs。　Pasmer　left　him　with　Alice。

He　expected　her　to　join　him　and　her　mother　in　being　amused　at　this；　but　he
was　as　well　pleased　to　have　her　touched　at　his　having　brought　them；　and　to
turn　their　gaiety　off　in　praise　of　the　roses。　　She　got　a　vase　for　them；
and　set　it　on　the　table。　　He　noticed　for　the　first　time　the　pretty　house…
dress　she　had　on；　with　its　barred　corsage　and　under…skirt；　and　the　heavy
silken　rope　knotted　round　it　at　the　waist；　and　dropping　in　heavy　tufts　or
balls　in　front。

The　breakfast　was　Continental　in　its　simplicity；　and　Mrs。　Pasmer　said　that
they　had　always　kept　up　their　Paris　habit　of　a　light　breakfast；　even　in
London；　where　it　was　not　so　easy　to　follow　foreign　customs　as　it　was　in
America。　　She　was　afraid　he　might　find　it　too　light。　　Then　he　told　all
about　his　morning's　adventure；　ending　with　his　breakfast　at　the　Providence
Depot。　　Mrs。　Pasmer　entered　into　the　fun　of　it；　but　she　said　it　was　for
only　once　in　a　way；　and　he　must　not　expect　to　be　let　in　if　he　came　at　that
hour　another　morning。　　He　said　no；　he　understood　what　an　extraordinary
piece　of　luck　it　was　for　him　to　be　there；　and　he　was　there　to　be　bidden　to
do　whatever　they　wished。　　He　said　so　much　in　recognition　of　their
goodness；　that　he　became　abashed　by　it。　　Mrs。　Pasmer　sat　at　the　head　of
the　table；　and　Alice　across　it　from　him；　so　far　off　that　she　seemed　parted
from　him　by　an　insuperable　moral　distance。　　A　warm　flush　seemed　to　rise
from　his　heart　into　his　throat　and　stifle　him。　　He　wished　to　shed　tears。
His　eyes　were　wet　with　grateful　happiness　in　answering　Mrs。　Pasmer　that　he
would　not　have　any　more　coffee。　　〃Then；〃　she　said；　〃we　will　go　into　the
drawing…room；〃　but　she　allowed　him　and　Alice　to　go　alone。

He　was　still　in　that　illusion　of　awe　and　of　distance；　and　he　submitted　to
the　interposition　of　another　table　between　their　chairs。

〃I　wish　to　talk　with　you；〃　she　said；　so　seriously　that　he　was　frightened；
and　said　to　himself：　〃Now　she　is　going　to　break　it　off。　　She　has　thought
it　over；　and　she　finds　she　can't　endure　me。〃

〃Well？〃　he　said　huskily。

You　oughtn't　to　have　come　here；　you　know；　this　morning。〃

〃I　know　it；〃　he　vaguely　conceded。　　〃But　I　didn't　expect　to　get　in。〃

〃Well；　now　you're　here；　we　may　as　well　talk。　You　must　tell　your　family　at
once。〃

〃Yes；　I'm　going　to　write　to　them　as　soon　as　I　get　back　to　my　room。　　I
couldn't　last　night。〃

〃But　you　mustn't　write；　you　must　goand　prepare　their　minds。〃

〃Go？〃　he　echoed。　　〃Oh；　that　isn't　necessary！　　My　father　knew　about　it　from
the　beginning；　and　I　guess　they've　all　talked　it　over。　　Their　minds　are
prepared。〃　　The　sense　of　his　immeasurable　superiority　to　any　one's
opposition　began　to　dissipate　Dan's　unnatural　awe；　at　the　pleading　face
which　Alice　put　on；　resting　one　cheek　against　the　back　of　one　of　her
clasped　hands；　and　leaning　on　the　table　with　her　elbows；　he　began　to　be
teased　by　that　silken　rope　round　her　waist。

〃But　you　don't　understand；　dear；〃　she　said；　and　she　said　〃dear〃　as　if　they
were　old　married　people。　　〃You　must　go　to　see　them；　and　tell　them；　and
then　some　of　them　must　come　to　see　meyour　father　and　sisters。〃

〃Why；　of　course。〃　　His　eye　now　became　fastened　to　one　of　the　fluffy　silken
balls。

〃And　then　mamma　and　I　must　go　to　see　your　mother；　mustn't　we？〃

〃It'll　be　very　nice　of　youyes。　　You　know　she　can't　come　to　you。〃

〃Yes；　that's　what　I　thought；　andWhat　are　you　looking　at？〃　she　drew
herself　back　from　the　table　and　followed　the　direction　of　his　eye　with　a
woman's　instinctive　apprehension　of　disarray。

He　was　ashamed　to　tell。　　〃Oh；　nothing。　　I　was　just　thinking。〃

〃What？〃

〃Well；　I　don't　know。　　That　it　seems　so　strange　any　one　else　should　have
any　to　do　with　itmy　family　and　yours。　　But　I　suppose　they　must。　　Yes；
it's　all　right。〃

〃Why；　of　course。　　If　your　family　didn't　like　it〃

〃It　wouldn't　make　any　difference　to　me；〃　said　Dan　resolutely。

〃It　would　to　me；〃　she　retorted；　with　tender　reproach。　　〃Do　you　suppose　it
would　be　pleasant　to　go　into　a　family　that　didn't　like　yon？　　Suppose　papa
and　mamma　didn't　like　you？〃

〃But　I　thought　they　did；〃　said　Mavering；　with　his　mind　still　partly　on　the
rope　and　the　fluffy　ball；　but　keeping　his　eyes　away。

〃Yes；　they　do；〃　said　Alice。　　〃But　your　family　don't　know　me　at　all；　and
your　father's　only　seen　me　once。　　Can't　you　understand？　　I'm　afraid　we
don't　look　at　it　seriously　enoughearnestlyand　oh；　I　do　wish　to　have
everything　done　as　it　should　be！　　Sometimes；　when　I　think　of　it；　it　makes
me　tremble。　　I've　been　thinking　about　it　all　the　morning；　andand
praying。〃

Dan　wanted　to　fall　on　his　knees　to　her。　　The　idea　of　Alice　in　prayer　was
fascinating

〃I　wish　our　life　to　begin　with　others；　and　not　with　ourselves。　　If　we're
intrusted　with　so　much　happiness；　doesn't　it　mean　that　we're　to　do　good
with　itto　give　it　to　others　as　if　it　were　money？〃

The　nobleness　of　this　thought　stirred　Dan　greatly；　his　eyes　wandered　back
to　the　silken　rope；　but　now　it　seemed　to　him　an　emblem　of　voluntary
suffering　and　self…sacrifice；　like　a　devotee's　hempen　girdle。　　He
perceived　that　the　love　of　this　angelic　girl　would　elevate　him　and　hallow
his　whole　life　if　he　would　let　it。　　He　answered　her；　fervently；　that　he
would　be　guided　by　her　in　this　as　in　everything；　that　he　knew　he　was
selfish；　and　he　was　afraid　he　was　not　very　good；　but　it　was　not　because　he
had　not　wished　to　be　so；　it　was　because　he　had　not　had　any　incentive。　　He
thought　how　much　nobler　and　better　this　was　than　the　talk　he　had　usually
had　with　girls。　　He　said　that　of　course　he　would　go　home　and　tell　his
people；　he　saw　now　that　it　would　make　them　happier　if　they　could　hear　it
directly　from　him。　　He　had　only　thought　of　writing　because　he　could　not
bear　to　think　of　letting　a　day　pass　without　seeing　her；　but　if　he　took　the
early　morning　train　he　could　get　back　the　same　night；　and　still　have　three
hours　at　Ponkwasset　Falls；　and　he　would　go　the　next　day；　if　she　said　so。

〃Go　to…day；　Dan；〃　she　said；　and　she　stretched　out　her　hand　impressively
across　the　table　toward　him。　　He　seized　it　with　a　gush　of　tenderness；　and
they　drew　together　in　their　resolution　to　live　for　others。　　He　said　he
would　go　at　once。　　But　the　next　train　did　not　leave　till　two　o'clock；　and
there　was　plenty　of　time。　　In　the　meanwhile　it　was　in　the　accomplishment
of　their　high　aims　that　they　sat　down　on　the　sofa　together　and　talked　of
their　future；　Alice　conditioned　it　wholly　upon　his　people's　approval　of
her；　which　seemed　wildly　unnecessary　to　Mavering；　and　amused　him
immensely。

〃Yes；〃　she　said；　〃I　know　you　will　think　me　strange　in　a　great　many　things；
but　I　shall　never　keep　anything　from　you；　and　I'm　going　to　tell　you　that　I
went　to　matins　this　morning。〃

〃To　matins？〃　echoed　Dan。　　He　would　not　quite　have　liked　her　a　Catholic；　he
remembered　with　relief　that　she　had　said　she　was　not　a　Roman　Catholic；
though　when　he　came　to　think；　he　would　not　have　cared　a　great　deal。
Nothing　could　have　changed　her　from　being　Alice。

〃Yes；　I　wished　to　consecrate　the　first　morning　of　our　engagement；　and　I'm
always　going。　　I　determined　that　I　would　go　before　breakfastthat　was
what　made　breakfast　so　late。　　Don't　you　like　it？〃　she　asked　timidly。

〃Like　it！〃　he　said。　　〃I'm　going　with　you：〃

〃Oh　no！〃　she　turned　upon　him。　　〃That　wouldn't　do。〃　　She　became　grave
again。　　〃I'm　glad　you　approve　of　it；　for　I　should　feel　that　there　was
something　wanting　to　our　happiness。　　If　marriage　is　a　sacrament；　why
shouldn't　an　engagement　be？〃

〃It　is；〃　said　Dan；　and　he　felt　that　it　was　holy；　till　then　he　had　never
realised　that　marriage　was　a　sacrament；　though　he　had　often　heard　the
phrase。

At　the　end　of　an　hour　they　took　a　tender　leave　of　each　other；　hastened　by
the　sound　of　Mrs。　Pasmer's　voice　without。　　Alice　escaped　from　one　door
before　her　mother　entered　by　the　other。　　Dan　remained；　trying　to　look
unconcerned；　but　he　was　sensible　of　succeeding　so　poorly　that　he　thought
he　had　better　offer　his　hand　to　Mrs。　Pasmer　at　once。　　He　told　her　that　he
was　going　up　to　Ponkwasset　Falls　at　two　o'clock；　and　asked　her　to　please
remember　him　to　Mr。　Pasmer。

She　said　she　would；　and　asked　him　if　he　were　to　be　gone　long。

〃Oh　no；　just　overnighttill　I　can　tell　them　what's　happened。〃　　He　felt　it
a　comfort　to　be　trivial　with　Mrs。　Pasmer；　after　bracing　up　to　Alice's
ideals。　　〃I　suppose　they'll　have　to　know。〃

〃What　an　exemplary　son！〃　said　Mrs。　Pasmer。　　〃Yes；　I　suppose　they　will。〃

〃I　supposed　it　would　be　enough　if　I　wrote；　but　Alice　thinks　I'd　better
report　in　person。〃

〃I　think　you　had；　indeed！　　And　it　will　be　a　good　thing　for　you　both　to
have　the　time　for　clarifying　your　ideas。　　Did　she　tell　you　she　had　been　at
matins　this　morning？〃　　A　light　of　laughter　trembled　in　Mrs。　Pasmer's　eyes；
and　Mavering　could　not　keep　a　responsive　gleam　out　of　his　own。　　In　an
instant　the　dedication　of　his　engagement　by　morning　prayer　ceased　to　be　a
high　and　solemn　thought；　and　became　deliciously　amusing；　and　this　laughing
Alice　over　with　her　mother　did　more　to　realise　the　fact　that　she　was　his
than　anything　else