april hopes-第26节

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In　ninety…nine　cases　out　of　a　hundred　the　affections　have　it　their　own
way；　and　I　must　say　I　don't　think　the　judgment　could　make　a　greater　mess
of　it。　　In　fact；〃　she　continued；　perhaps　provoked　to　the　excess　by　the
deprecation　she　saw　in　Miss　Cotton's　eye；　〃I　consider　every　broken
engagement　nowadays　a　blessing　in　disguise。〃

Miss　Cotton　said　nothing。　　The　other　ladies　said；　〃Why；　Mrs。　Brinkley！〃

〃Yes。　　The　thing　has　gone　altogether　too　far。　　The　pendulum　has　swung　in
that　direction　out　of　all　measure。　　We　are　married　too　much。　　And　as　a
natural　consequence　we　are　divorced　too　much。　　The　whole　case　is　in　a
nutshell：　if　there　were　no　marriages；　there　would　be　no　divorces；　and
that　great　abuse　would　be　corrected；　at　any　rate。〃

All　the　ladies　laughed；　Miss　Cotton　more　and　more　sorrowfully。　　She　liked
to　have　people　talk　as　they　do　in　genteel　novels。　　Mrs。　Brinkley's　bold
expressions　were　a　series　of　violent　shocks　to　her　nature；　and　imparted　a
terrible　vibration　to　the　fabric　of　her　whole　little　rose…coloured　ideal
world；　if　they　had　not　been　the　expressions　of　a　person　whom　a　great　many
unquestionable　persons　accepted；　who　had　such　an　undoubted　standing；　she
would　have　thought　them　very　coarse。　　As　it　was；　they　had　a　great
fascination　for　her。　　〃But　in　a　case　like　that　of〃she　looked　round　and
lowered　her　voice〃our　young　friends；　I'm　sure　you　couldn't　rejoice　if
the　engagement　were　broken　off。〃

〃Well；　I'm　not　going　to　be　'a　mush　of　concession；'　as　Emerson　says；　Miss
Cotton。　　And；　in　the　first　place；　how　do　you　know　they're　engaged？〃

〃Ah；　I　don't；　I　didn't　mean　that　they　were。　　But　wouldn't　it　be　a　little
pathetic　if；　after　all　that　we've　seen　going　on；　his　coming　here
expressly　on　her　account；　and　his　perfect　devotion　to　her　for　the　past
two　weeks；　it　should　end　in　nothing？〃

〃Two　weeks　isn't　a　very　long　time　to　settle　the　business　of　a　lifetime。〃

〃No。〃

〃Perhaps　she's　proposed　delay；　a　little　further　acquaintance。〃

〃Oh；　of　course　that　would　be　perfectly　right。　　Do　you　think　she　did？〃

〃Not　if　she's　as　wise　as　the　rest　of　us　would　have　been　at　her　age。　　But
I　think　she　ought。〃

〃Yes？〃　said　Miss　Cotton　semi…interrogatively。

〃Do　you　think　his　behaviour　last　night　would　naturally　impress　her　with
his　wisdom　and　constancy？〃

〃No；　I　can't　say　that　it　would；　but〃

〃And　this　Alice　of　yours　is　rather　a　severe　young　person。　　She　has　her
ideas；　and　I'm　afraid　they're　rather　heroic。　　She'd　be　just　with　him；　of
course。　　But　there's　nothing　a　man　dreads　so　much　as　justicesome　men。〃

〃Yes；〃　pursued　Miss　Cotton；　〃but　that　very　disparityI　know　they're　very
unlikedon't　you　think〃

〃Oh　yes；　I　know　the　theory　about　that。　　But　if　they　were　exactly　alike　in
temperament；　they'd　be　sufficiently　unlike　for　the　purposes　of
counterparts。　　That　was　arranged　once　for　all　when　'male　and　female
created　He　them。'　　I've　no　doubt　their　fancy　was　caught　by　all　the　kinds
of　difference　they　find　in　each　other；　that's　just　as　natural　as　it's
silly。　　But　the　misunderstanding；　the　trouble；　the　quarrelling；　the　wear
and　tear　of　spirit；　that　they'd　have　to　go　through　before　they
assimilatedit　makes　me　tired；　as　the　boys　say。　　No：　I　hope；　for　the
young　man's　own　sake；　he's　got　his　conge。〃

〃But　he's　so　kind；　so　good　〃

〃My　dear；　the　world　is　surfeited　with　kind；　good　men。　　There　are　half　a
dozen　of　them　at　the　other　end　of　the　piazza　smoking；　and　there　comes
another　to　join　them；〃　she　added；　as　a　large　figure；　semicircular　in
profile；　advanced　itself　from　a　doorway　toward　a　vacant　chair　among　the
smokers。　　〃The　very　soul　of　kindness　and　goodness。〃　　She　beckoned　toward
her　husband；　who　caught　sight　of　her　gesture。　　〃Now　I　can　tell　you　all
his　mental　processes。　　First；　surprise　at　seeing　some　one　beckoning；　then
astonishment　that　it's　I；　though　who　else　should　beckon　him？then　wonder
what　I　can　want；　then　conjecture　that　I　may　want　him　to　come　here；　then
pride　in　his　conjecture；　rebellion；　compliance。〃

The　ladies　were　in　a　scream　of　laughter　as　Mr。　Brinkley　lumbered　heavily
to　their　group。

〃What　is　it？〃　he　asked。

〃Do　you　believe　in　broken　engagements？　　Now　quickoff…hand！〃

〃Who's　engaged？〃

〃No　matter。〃

〃Well；　you　know　Punch's　advice　to　those　about　to　marry？〃

〃I　knowchestnuts；〃　said　his　wife　scornfully。　　They　dismissed　each　other
with　tender　bluntness；　and　he　went　in　to　get　a　match。

〃Ah；　Mrs。　Brinkley；〃　said　one　of　the　ladies；　〃it　would　be　of　no　use　for
you　to　preach　broken　engagements　to　any　one　who　saw　you　and　Mr。　Brinkley
together。〃　　They　fell　upon　her；　one　after　another；　and　mocked　her　with
the　difference　between　her　doctrine　and　practice；　and　they　were　all　the
more　against　her　because　they　had　been　perhaps　a　little　put　down　by　her
whimsical　sayings。

〃Yes；〃　she　admitted。　　〃But　we've　been　thirty　years　coming　to　the
understanding　that　you　all　admire　so　much；　and　do　you　think　it　was　worth
the　time？〃




XXI。

Mavering　kept　up　until　he　took　leave　of　the　party　of　young　people　who　had
come　over　on　the　ferry…boat　to　Eastport　for　the　frolic　of　seeing　him　off。
It　was　a　tremendous　tour　de　force　to　accept　their　company　as　if　he　were
glad　of　it；　and　to　respond　to　all　their　gay　nothings　gaily；　to　maintain
a　sunny　surface　on　his　turbid　misery。　　They　had　tried　to　make　Alice　come
with　them；　but　her　mother　pleaded　a　bad　headache　for　her；　and　he　had　to
parry　a　hundred　sallies　about　her；　and　from　his　sick　heart　humour　the
popular　insinuation　that　there　was　an　understanding　between　them；　and
that　they　had　agreed　together　she　should　not　come。　　He　had　to　stand　about
on　the　steamboat　wharf　and　listen　to　amiable　innuendoes　for　nearly　an
hour　before　the　steamer　came　in　from　St。　John。　　The　fond　adieux　of　his
friends；　their　offers　to　take　any　message　back；　lasted　during　the
interminable　fifteen　minutes　that　she　lay　at　her　moorings；　and　then　he
showed　himself　at　the　stern　of　the　boat；　and　waved　his　handkerchief　in
acknowledgment　of　the　last　parting　salutations　on　shore。

When　it　was　all　over；　he　went　down　into　his　state…room；　and　shut　himself
in；　and　let　his　misery　rollover　him。　　He　felt　as　if　there　were　a　flood　of
it；　and　it　washed　him　to　and　fro；　one　gall　of　shame；　of　self…accusal；　of
bitterness；　from　head　to　foot。　　But　in　it　all　he　felt　no　resentment
toward　Alice；　no　wish　to　wreak　any　smallest　part　of　his　suffering　upon
her。　　Even　while　he　had　hoped　for　her　love；　it　seemed　to　him　that　he　had
not　seen　her　in　all　that　perfection　which　she　now　had　in　irreparable
loss。　　His　soul　bowed　itself　fondly　over　the　thought　of　her；　and；　stung
as　he　was　by　that　last　cruel　word　of　hers；　he　could　not　upbraid　her。
That　humility　which　is　love　casting　out　selfishness；　the　most　egotistic
of　the　passions　triumphing　over　itselfMavering　experienced　it　to　the
full。　　He　took　all　the　blame。　　He　could　not　see　that　she　had　ever
encouraged　him　to　hope　for　her　love；　which　now　appeared　a　treasure
heavenfar　beyond　his　scope；　he　could　only　call　himself　fool；　and　fool；
and　fool；　and　wonder　that　he　could　have　met　her　in　the　remoteness　of　that
morning　with　the　belief　that　but　for　the　follies　of　last　night　she　might
have　answered　him　differently。　　He　believed　now　that；　whatever　had　gone
before；　she　must　still　have　rejected　him。　　She　had　treated　his
presumption　very　leniently；　she　had　really　spared　him。

It　went　on；　over　and　over。　　Sometimes　it　varied　a　little；　as　when　he
thought　of　how；　when　she　should　tell　her　mother；　Mrs。　Pasmer　must　laugh。
He　pictured　them　both　laughing　at　him；　and　then　Mr。　Pasmerhe　had
scarcely　passed　a　dozen　words　with　him…coming　in　and　asking　what　they
were　laughing　at；　and　their　saying；　and　his　laughing　too。

At　other　times　he　figured　them　as　incensed　at　his　temerity；　which　must
seem　to　them　greater　and　greater；　as　now　it　seemed　to　him。　　He　had　never
thought　meanly　of　himself；　and　the　world　so　far　had　seemed　to　think　well
of　him；　but　because　Alice　Pasmer　was　impossible　to　him；　he　felt　that　it
was　an　unpardonable　boldness　in　him　to　have　dreamed　of　her。　　What　must
they　be　saying　of　his　having　passed　from　the　ground　of　society
compliments　and　light　flirtation　to　actually　telling　Alice　that　he　loved
her？

He　wondered　what　Mrs。　Pasmer　had　thought　of　his　telling　her　that　he　had
come　to　Campobello　to　consider　the　question　whether　he　should　study　law
or　go　into　business；　and　what　motive　she　had　supposed　he　had　in　telling
her　that。　　He　asked　himself　what　motive　he　had；　and　tried　to　pretend　that
he　had　none。　　He　dramatised　conversations　with　Mrs。　Pasmer　in　which　he
laughed　it　off。

Ho　tried　to　remember　all　that　had　passed　the　day　before　at　the　picnic；
and　whether　Alice　had　done　or　said　anything　to　encourage　him；　and　he
could　not　find　that　she　had。　　All　her　trust　and　freedom　was　because　she
felt　perfectly　safe　with　him　from　any　such　disgusting　absurdity　as　he　had
been　guilty　of。　　The　ride　home　through　the　mist；　with　its　sweet　intimacy；
that　parting　which　had　seemed　so　full　of　tender　intelligence；　were　parts
of　the　same　illusion。　　There　had　been　nothing　of　it　on　her　side　from　the
beginning　but　a　kindliness　which　he　had　now　flung　away　for　ever。

He　went　back　to　the　beginning；　and　tried　to　remember　the　point　where　he
had　started　in　this　fata