the pit-第66节

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Laura；　seated　at　her　desk；　held　the　note　towards　him　resolutely。　　Now　was　no　time　to　hesitate；　to　temporise。　If　she　did　not　hold　to　her　resolve　now；　what　was　there　to　look　forward　to？　　Could　one's　life　be　emptier　than　hersemptier；　more　intolerable；　more　humiliating？

〃Take　this　note　to　that　address；〃　she　said；　putting　the　envelope　and　a　coin　in　the　boy's　hand。　　〃Wait　for　an　answer。〃

The　boy　shut　the　letter　in　his　book；　which　he　thrust　into　his　breast　pocket；　buttoning　his　coat　over　it。　　He　nodded　and　turned　away。

Still　seated；　Laura　watched　him　moving　towards　the　door。　　Well；　it　was　over　now。　　She　had　chosen。　　She　had　taken　the　leap。　　What　new　life　was　to　begin　for　her　to…　morrow？　　What　did　it　all　mean？　　With　an　inconceivable　rapidity　her　thoughts　began　racing　through；　her　brain。

She　did　not　move。　　Her　hands；　gripped　tight　together；　rested　upon　the　desk　before　her。　　Without　turning　her　head；　she　watched　the　retreating　messenger；　from　under　her　lashes。　　He　passed　out　of　the　door；　the　curtain　fell　behind　him。

And　only　then；　when　the　irrevocableness　of　the　step　was　all　but　an　accomplished　fact；　came　the　reaction。

〃Stop！〃　she　cried；　springing　up。　　〃Stop！　Come　back　here。　　Wait　a　moment。〃

What　had　happened？　　She　could　neither　understand　nor　explain。　　Somehow　an　instant　of　clear　vision　had　come；　and　in　that　instant　a　power　within　her　that　was　herself　and　not　herself；　and　laid　hold　upon　her　will。　　No；　no；　she　could　not；　she　could　not；　after　all。　　She　took　the　note　back。

〃I　have　changed　my　mind；〃　she　said；　abruptly。　　〃You　may　keep　the　money。　　There　is　no　message　to　be　sent。〃

As　soon　as　the　boy　had　gone　she　opened　the　envelope　and　read　what　she　had　written。　　But　now　the　words　seemed　the　work　of　another　mind　than　her　own。　　They　were　unfamiliar；　they　were　not　the　words　of　the　Laura　Jadwin　she　knew。　　Why　was　it　that　from　the　very　first　hours　of　her　acquaintance　with　this　man；　and　in　every　circumstance　of　their　intimacy；　she　had　always　acted　upon　impulse？　　What　was　there　in　him　that　called　into　being　all　that　was　reckless　in　her？

And　for　how　long　was　she　to　be　able　to　control　these　impulses？　　This　time　she　had　prevailed　once　more　against　that　other　impetuous　self　of　hers。　　Would　she　prevail　the　next　time？　　And　in　these　struggles；　was　she　growing　stronger　as　she　overcame；　or　weaker？　　She　did　not　know。　　She　tore　the　note　into　fragments；　and　making　a　heap　of　them　in　the　pen　tray；　burned　them　carefully。

During　the　week　following　upon　this；　Laura　found　her　trouble　more　than　ever　keen。　　She　was　burdened　with　a　new　distress。　　The　incident　of　the　note　to　Corthell；　recalled　at　the　last　moment；　had　opened　her　eyes　to　possibilities　of　the　situation　hitherto　unguessed。　　She　saw　now　what　she　might　be　capable　of　doing　in　a　moment　of　headstrong　caprice；　she　saw　depths　in　her　nature　she　had　not　plumbed。　　Whether　these　hidden　pitfalls　were　peculiarly　hers；　or　whether　they　were　common　to　all　women　placed　as　she　now　found　herself；　she　did　not　pause　to　inquire。　　She　thought　only　of　results；　and　she　was　afraid。

But　for　the　matter　of　that；　Laura　had　long　since　passed　the　point　of　deliberate　consideration　or　reasoned　calculation。　　The　reaction　had　been　as　powerful　as　the　original　purpose；　and　she　was　even　yet　struggling　blindly；　intuitively。

For　what　she　was　now　about　to　do　she　could　give　no　reason；　and　the　motives　for　this　final　and　supreme　effort　to　conquer　the　league　of　circumstances　which　hemmed　her　in　were　obscure。　　She　did　not　even　ask　what　they　were。　　She　knew　only　that　she　was　in　trouble；　and　yet　it　was　to　the　cause　of　her　distress　that　she　addressed　herself。　　Blindly　she　turned　to　her　husband；　and　all　the　woman　in　her　roused　itself；　girded　itself；　called　up　its　every　resource　in　one　last　test；　in　one　ultimate　trial　of　strength　between　her　and　the　terrible　growing　power　of　that　blind；　soulless　force　that　roared　and　guttered　and　sucked；　down　there　in　the　midst　of　the　city。

She　alone；　one　unaided　woman；　her　only　auxiliaries　her　beauty；　her　wit；　and　the　frayed；　strained　bands　of　a　sorely　tried　love；　stood　forth　like　a　challenger；　against　Charybdis；　joined　battle　with　the　Cloaca；　held　back　with　her　slim；　white　hands　against　the　power　of　the　maelstrom　that　swung　the　Nations　in　its　grip。

In　the　solitude　of　her　room　she　took　the　resolve。　　Her　troubles　were　multiplying；　she；　too；　was　in　the　current；　the　end　of　which　was　a　pita　pit　black　and　without　bottom。　　Once　already　its　grip　had　seized　her；　once　already　she　had　yielded　to　the　insidious　drift。　Now　suddenly　aware　of　a　danger；　she　fought　back；　and　her　hands　beating　the　air　for　help；　turned　towards　the　greatest　strength　she　knew。

〃I　want　my　husband；〃　she　cried；　aloud；　to　the　empty　darkness　of　the　night。　　〃I　want　my　husband。　　I　will　have　him；　he　is　mine；　he　is　mine。　　There　shall　nothing　take　me　from　him；　there　shall　nothing　take　him　from　me。〃

Her　first　opportunity　came　upon　a　Sunday　soon　afterward。　　Jadwin；　wakeful　all　the　Saturday　night；　slept　a　little　in　the　forenoon；　and　after　dinner　Laura　came　to　him　in　his　smoking…room；　as　he　lay　on　the　leather　lounge　trying　to　read。　　His　wife　seated　herself　at　a　writing…table　in　a　corner　of　the　room；　and　by　and　by　began　turning　the　slips　of　a　calendar　that　stood　at　her　elbow。　　At　last　she　tore　off　one　of　the　slips　and　held　it　up。

〃Curtis。〃

〃Well；　old　girl？〃

〃Do　you　see　that　date？〃

He　looked　over　to　her。

〃Do　you　see　that　date？　　Do　you　know　of　anything　that　makes　that　day　differenta　littlefrom　other　days？　It's　June　thirteenth。　　Do　you　remember　what　June　thirteenth　is？〃

Puzzled；　he　shook　his　head。

〃Nono。〃

Laura　took　up　a　pen　and　wrote　a　few　words　in　the　space　above　the　printed　figures　reserved　for　memoranda。　　Then　she　handed　the　slip　to　her　husband；　who　read　aloud　what　she　had　written。

〃'Laura　Jadwin's　birthday。'　　Why；　upon　my　word；〃　he　declared；　sitting　upright。　　〃So　it　is；　so　it　is。　　June　thirteenth；　of　course。　　And　I　was　beast　enough　not　to　realise　it。　　Honey；　I　can't　remember　anything　these　days；　it　seems。〃

〃But　you　are　going　to　remember　this　time？〃　she　said。　〃You　are　not　going　to　forget　it　now。　　That　evening　is　going　to　mark　the　beginning　ofoh；　Curtis；　it　is　going　to　be　a　new　beginning　of　everything。　　You'll　see。　　I'm　going　to　manage　it。　　I　don't　know　how；　but　you　are　going　to　love　me　so　that　nothing；　no　business；　no　money；　no　wheat　will　ever　keep　you　from　me。　　I　will　make　you。　　And　that　evening；　that　evening　of　June　thirteenth　is　mine。　　The　day　your　business　can　have　you；　but　from　six　o'clock　on　you　are　mine。〃　　She　crossed　the　room　quickly　and　took　both　his　hands　in　hers　and　knelt　beside　him。　　〃It　is　mine；〃　she　said；　if　you　love　me。　　Do　you　understand；　dear？　　You　will　come　home　at　six　o'clock；　and　whatever　happensoh；　if　all　La　Salle　Street　should　burn　to　the　ground；　and　all　your　millions　of　bushels　of　wheat　with　itwhatever　happens；　you　willnotleavemenor　think　of　anything　else　but　just　me；　me。　　That　evening　is　mine；　and　you　will　give　it　to　me；　just　as　I　have　said。　　I　won't　remind　you　of　it　again。　　I　won't　speak　of　it　again。　　I　will　leave　it　to　you。　　Butyou　will　give　me　that　evening　if　you　love　me。　　Dear；　do　you　see　just　what　I　mean？　。。。　　_If　you　love　me。。。。_　　Nono　don't　say　a　word；　we　won't　talk　about　it　at　all。　　No；　no；　please。　　Not　another　word。　　I　don't　want　you　to　promise；　or　pledge　yourself；　or　anything　like　that。　　You've　heard　what　I　saidand　that's　all　there　is　about　it。　　We'll　talk　of　something　else。　　By　the　way；　have　you　seen　Mr。　Cressler　lately？〃

〃No；〃　he　said；　falling　into　her　mood。　　〃No　haven't　seen　Charlie　in　over　a　month。　　Wonder　what's　become　of　him？〃

〃I　understand　he's　been　sick；〃　she　told　him。　　〃I　met　Mrs。　Cressler　the　other　day；　and　she　said　she　was　bothered　about　him。〃

〃Well；　what's　the　matter　with　old　Charlie？〃

〃She　doesn't　know；　herself。　　He's　not　sick　enough　to　go　to　bed；　but　he　doesn't　or　won't　go　down　town　to　his　business。　　She　says　she　can　see　him　growing　thinner　every　day。　　He　keeps　telling　her　he's　all　right；　but　for　all　that；　she　says；　she's　afraid　he's　going　to　come　down　with　some　kind　of　sickness　pretty　soon。〃

〃'Say；〃　said　Jadwin；　〃suppose　we　drop　around　to　see　them　this　afternoon？　　Wouldn't　you　like　to？　　I　haven't　seen　him　in　over　a　month；　as　I　say。　　Or　telephone　them　to　come　up　and　have　dinner。　　Charlie's　about　as　old　a　friend　as　I　have。　　We　used　to　be　together　about　every　hour　of　the　day　when　we　first　came　to　Chicago。　　Let's　go　over　to　see　him　this　afternoon　and　cheer　him　up。〃

〃No；〃　said　Laura；　decisively。　　〃Curtis；　you　must　have　one　day　of　rest　out　of　the　week。　　You　are　going　to　lie　down　all　the　rest　of　the　afternoon；　and　sleep　if　you　can。　　I'll　call　on　them　to…morrow。〃

〃Well；　all　right；〃　he　assented。　　〃I　suppose　I　ought　to　sleep　if　I　can。　　And　then　Sam　is　coming　up　here；　by　five。　　He's　going　to　bring　some　railroad　men　with　him。　We've　got　a　lot　to　do。　　Yes；　I　guess；　old　girl；　I'll　try　to　get　forty　winks　before　they　get　here。　　And；　Laura；〃　he　added；　taking　her　hand　as　she　rose　to　go；　〃Laura；　this　is　the　last　lap。　　In　just　another　month　nowoh；　at　the　outside；　six　weeksI'll　have　closed　the　corner；　and　then；　old　girl；　you　and　I　will　go　somewheres；　anywhere　you　like；　and　then　we'll　have　a　good　time　together　all　the　rest　of　our　livesall　the　rest　of　our　live