the pit-第65节

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During　the　days　that　Jadwin　and　Crookes　were　at　grapples　Laura　found　means　to　occupy　her　mind　with　all　manner　of　small　activities。　　She　overhauled　her　wardrobe；　planned　her　summer　gowns；　paid　daily　visits　to　her　dressmakers；　rode　and　drove　in　the　park；　till　every　turn　of　the　roads；　every　tree；　every　bush　was　familiar；　to　the　point　of　wearisome　contempt。

Then　suddenly　she　began　to　indulge　in　a　mania　for　old　books　and　first　editions。　　She　haunted　the　stationers　and　second…hand　bookstores；　studied　the　authorities；　followed　the　auctions；　and　bought　right　and　left；　with　reckless　extravagance。　　But　the　taste　soon　palled　upon　her。　　With　so　much　money　at　her　command　there　was　none　of　the　spice　of　the　hunt　in　the　affair。　　She　had　but　to　express　a　desire　for　a　certain　treasure；　and　forthwith　it　was　put　into　her　hand。

She　found　it　so　in　all　other　things。　　Her　desires　were　gratified　with　an　abruptness　that　killed　the　zest　of　them。　　She　felt　none　of　the　joy　of　possession；　the　little　personal　relation　between　her　and　her　belongings　vanished　away。　　Her　gowns；　beautiful　beyond　all　she　had　ever　imagined；　were　of　no　more　interest　to　her　than　a　drawerful　of　outworn　gloves。　　She　bought　horses　till　she　could　no　longer　tell　them　apart；　her　carriages　crowded　three　supplementary　stables　in　the　neighbourhood。　　Her　flowers；　miracles　of　laborious　cultivation；　filled　the　whole　house　with　their　fragrance。　　Wherever　she　went　deference　moved　before　her　like　a　guard；　her　beauty；　her　enormous　wealth；　her　wonderful　horses；　her　exquisite　gowns　made　of　her　a　cynosure；　a　veritable　queen。

And　hardly　a　day　passed　that　Laura　Jadwin；　in　the　solitude　of　her　own　boudoir；　did　not　fling　her　arms　wide　in　a　gesture　of　lassitude　and　infinite　weariness；　crying　out：

〃Oh；　the　ennui　and　stupidity　of　all　this　wretched　life！〃

She　could　look　forward　to　nothing。　　One　day　was　like　the　next。　　No　one　came　to　see　her。　　For　all　her　great　house　and　for　all　her　money；　she　had　made　but　few　friends。　　Her　〃grand　manner〃　had　never　helped　her　popularity。　　She　passed　her　evenings　alone　in　her　〃up…　stairs　sitting…room；〃　reading；　reading　till　far　into　the　night；　or；　the　lights　extinguished；　sat　at　her　open　window　listening　to　the　monotonous　lap　and　wash　of　the　lake。

At　such　moments　she　thought　of　the　men　who　had　come　into　her　lifeof　the　love　she　had　known　almost　from　her　girlhood。　　She　remembered　her　first　serious　affair。　It　had　been　with　the　impecunious　theological　student　who　was　her　tutor。　　He　had　worn　glasses　and　little　black　side　whiskers；　and　had　implored　her　to　marry　him　and　come　to　China；　where　he　was　to　be　a　missionary。　Every　time　that　he　came　he　had　brought　her　a　new　book　to　read；　and　he　had　taken　her　for　long　walks　up　towards　the　hills　where　the　old　powder　mill　stood。　　Then　it　was　the　young　lawyerthe　〃brightest　man　in　Worcester　County〃who　took　her　driving　in　a　hired　buggy；　sent　her　a　multitude　of　paper　novels　（which　she　never　read）；　with　every　love　passage　carefully　underscored；　and　wrote　very　bad　verse　to　her　eyes　and　hair；　whose　〃velvet　blackness　was　the　shadow　of　a　crown。〃　　Or；　again；　it　was　the　youthful　cavalry　officer　met　in　a　flying　visit　to　her　Boston　aunt；　who　loved　her　on　first　sight；　gave　her　his　photograph　in　uniform　and　a　bead　belt　of　Apache　workmanship。　　He　was　forever　singing　to　herto　a　guitar　accompanimentan　old　love　song：


　　　　　〃At　midnight　hour　　　　　　　Beneath　the　tower　　　　　　　He　murmured　soft；　　　　　　'Oh　nothing　fearing　　　　　　　With　thine　own　true　soldier　fly。'〃


Then　she　had　come　to　Chicago；　and　Landry　Court；　with　his　bright　enthusiasms　and　fine　exaltations　had　loved　her。　　She　had　never　taken　him　very　seriously　but　none　the　less　it　had　been　very　sweet　to　know　his　whole　universe　depended　upon　the　nod　of　her　head；　and　that　her　influence　over　him　had　been　so　potent；　had　kept　him　clean　and　loyal　and　honest。

And　after　this　Corthell　and　Jadwin　had　come　into　her　life；　the　artist　and　the　man　of　affairs。　　She　remembered　Corthell's　quiet；　patient；　earnest　devotion　of　those　days　before　her　marriage。　　He　rarely　spoke　to　her　of　his　love；　but　by　some　ingenious　subtlety　he　had　filled　her　whole　life　with　it。　　His　little　attentions；　his　undemonstrative　solicitudes　came　precisely　when　and　where　they　were　most　appropriate。　　He　had　never　failed　her。　　Whenever　she　had　needed　him；　or　even；　when　through　caprice　or　impulse　she　had　turned　to　him；　it　always　had　been　to　find　that　long　since　he　had　carefully　prepared　for　that　very　contingency。　　His　thoughtfulness　of　her　had　been　a　thing　to　wonder　at。　He　remembered　for　months；　years　even；　her　most　trivial　fancies；　her　unexpressed　dislikes。　　He　knew　her　tastes；　as　if　by　instinct；　he　prepared　little　surprises　for　her；　and　placed　them　in　her　way　without　ostentation；　and　quite　as　matters　of　course。　　He　never　permitted　her　to　be　embarrassed；　the　little　annoying　situations　of　the　day's　life　he　had　smoothed　away　long　before　they　had　ensnared　her。　　He　never　was　off　his　guard；　never　disturbed；　never　excited。

And　he　amused　her；　he　entertained　her　without　seeming　to　do　so。　　He　made　her　talk；　he　made　her　think。　He　stimulated　and　aroused　her；　so　that　she　herself　talked　and　thought　with　a　brilliancy　that　surprised　herself。　In　fine；　he　had　so　contrived　that　she　associated　him　with　everything　that　was　agreeable。

She　had　sent　him　away　the　first　time；　and　he　had　gone　without　a　murmur；　only　to　come　back　loyal　as　ever；　silent；　watchful；　sympathetic；　his　love　for　her　deeper；　stronger　than　before；　andas　always　timelybringing　to　her　a　companionship　at　the　moment　of　all　others　when　she　was　most　alone。

Now　she　had　driven　him　from　her　again；　and　this　time；　she　very　well　knew；　it　was　to　be　forever。　　She　had　shut　the　door　upon　this　great　love。

Laura　stirred　abruptly　in　her　place；　adjusting　her　hair　with　nervous　fingers。

And；　last　of　all；　it　had　been　Jadwin；　her　husband。　　She　rose　and　went　to　the　window；　and　stood　there　a　long　moment；　looking　off　into　the　night　over　the　park。　　It　was　warm　and　very　still。　　A　few　carriage　lamps　glimpsed　among　the　trees　like　fireflies。　　Along　the　walks　and　upon　the　benches　she　could　see　the　glow　of　white　dresses　and　could　catch　the　sound　of　laughter。　　Far　off　somewhere　in　the　shrubbery；　she　thought　she　heard　a　band　playing。　　To　the　northeast　lay　the　lake；　shimmering　under　the　moon；　dotted　here　and　there　with　the　coloured　lights　of　steamers。

She　turned　back　into　the　room。　　The　great　house　was　still。　　From　all　its　suites　of　rooms；　its　corridors；　galleries；　and　hallways　there　came　no　sound。　　There　was　no　one　upon　the　same　floor　as　herself。　　She　had　read　all　her　books。　　It　was　too　late　to　go　outand　there　was　no　one　to　go　with。　　To　go　to　bed　was　ridiculous。　She　was　never　more　wakeful；　never　more　alive；　never　more　ready　to　be　amused；　diverted；　entertained。

She　thought　of　the　organ；　and　descending　to　the　art　gallery；　played　Bach；　Palestrina；　and　Stainer　for　an　hour；　then　suddenly　she　started　from　the　console；　with　a　sharp；　impatient　movement　of　her　head。

〃Why　do　I　play　this　stupid　music？〃　she　exclaimed。　　She　called　a　servant　and　asked：

〃Has　Mr。　Jadwin　come　in　yet？〃

〃Mr。　Gretry　just　this　minute　telephoned　that　Mr。　Jadwin　would　not　be　home　to…night。〃

When　the　servant　had　gone　out　Laura；　her　lips　compressed；　flung　up　her　head。　　Her　hands　shut　to　hard　fists；　her　eye　flashed。　　Rigid；　erect　in　the　middle　of　the　floor；　her　arms　folded；　she　uttered　a　smothered　exclamation　over　and　over　again　under　her　breath。

All　at　once　anger　mastered　heranger　and　a　certain　defiant　recklessness；　an　abrupt　spirit　of　revolt。　　She　straightened　herself　suddenly；　as　one　who　takes　a　decision。　　Then；　swiftly；　she　went　out　of　the　art　gallery；　and；　crossing　the　hallway；　entered　the　library　and　opened　a　great　writing…desk　that　stood　in　a　recess　under　a　small　stained　window。

She　pulled　the　sheets　of　note　paper　towards　her　and　wrote　a　short　letter；　directing　the　envelope　to　Sheldon　Corthell；　The　Fine　Arts　Building；　Michigan　Avenue。

〃Call　a　messenger；〃　she　said　to　the　servant　who　answered　her　ring；　〃and　have　him　takeor　send　him　in　here　when　he　comes。〃

She　rested　the　letter　against　the　inkstand；　and　leaned　back　in　her　chair；　looking　at　it；　her　fingers　plucking　swiftly　at　the　lace　of　her　dress。　　Her　head　was　in　a　whirl。　　A　confusion　of　thoughts；　impulses；　desires；　half…formed　resolves；　half…named　regrets；　swarmed　and　spun　about　her。　　She　felt　as　though　she　had　all　at　once　taken　a　leapa　leap　which　had　landed　her　in　a　place　whence　she　could　see　a　new　and　terrible　country；　an　unfamiliar　placeterrible；　yet　beautifulunexplored；　and　for　that　reason　all　the　more　inviting；　a　place　of　shadows。

Laura　rose　and　paced　the　floor；　her　hands　pressed　together　over　her　heart。　　She　was　excited；　her　cheeks　flushed；　a　certain　breathless　exhilaration　came　and　went　within　her　breast；　and　in　place　of　the　intolerable　ennui　of　the　last　days；　there　came　over　her　a　sudden；　an　almost　wild　animation；　and　from　out　her　black　eyes　there　shot　a　kind　of　furious　gaiety。

But　she　was　aroused　by　a　step　at　the　door。　　The　messenger　stood　there；　a　figure　ridiculously　inadequate　for　the　intensity　of　all　that　was　involved　in　the　issue　of　the　houra　weazened；　stunted　boy；　in　a　uniform　many　sizes　too　large。

Laura；　seated　at　her　desk；　held　the　note　towards　him　resolutely