the pit-第23节

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just　as　if　they　were　iron　foundriesand　turned　the　incompetents　out　and　put　my　subordinates　in；　and　put　the　thing　on　a　business　basis；　and　by　now；　I'll　venture　to　say；　there's　not　a　better　_organised_　Sunday…school　in　all　Chicago；　and　I'll　bet　if　D。　L。　Moody　were　here　to…day　he'd　say；　'Jadwin；　well　done；　thou　good　and　faithful　servant。'〃

〃I　haven't　a　doubt　of　it；　Mr。　Jadwin；〃　Laura　hastened　to　exclaim。　　〃And　you　must　not　think　that　I　don't　believe　you　are　doing　a　splendid　work。〃

〃Well；　it　_suits_　me；〃　he　repeated。　　〃I　like　my　little　micks；　and　now　and　then　I　have　a　chance　to　get　hold　of　the　kind　that　it　pays　to　push　along。　　About　four　months　ago　I　came　across　a　boy　in　the　Bible　class；　I　guess

he's　about　sixteen；　name　is　BradleyBilly　Bradley；　father　a　confirmed　drunk；　mother　takes　in　washing；　sisterwe　won't　speak　about；　and　he　seemed　to　be　bright　and　willing　to　work；　and　I　gave　him　a　job　in　my　agent's　office；　just　directing　envelopes。　　Well；　Miss　Dearborn；　that　boy　has　a　desk　of　his　own　now；　and　the　agent　tells　me　he's　one　of　the　very　best　men　he's　got。　He　does　his　work　so　well　that　I've　been　able　to　discharge　two　other　fellows　who　sat　around　and　watched　the　clock　for　lunch　hour；　and　Bradley　does　their　work　now　better　and　quicker　than　they　did；　and　saves　me　twenty　dollars　a　week；　that's　a　thousand　a　year。　　So　much　for　a　business　like　Sunday…school；　so　much　for　taking　a　good　aim　when　you　cast　your　bread　upon　the　waters。　　The　last　time　I　saw　Moody　I　said；　'Moody；　my　motto　is　〃not　slothful　in　business；　fervent　in　spirit；　praising　the　Lord。〃'　I　remember　we　were　out　driving　at　the　time；　I　took　him　out　behind　Lizellashe's　almost　straight　Wilkes'　blood　and　can　trot　in　two…ten；　but　you　can　believe　_he_　didn't　know　thatand；　as　I　say；　I　told　him　what　my　motto　was；　and　he　said；　'J。；　good　for　you；　you　keep　to　that。　　There's　no　better　motto　in　the　world　for　the　American　man　of　business。'　He　shook　my　hand　when　he　said　it；　and　I　haven't　ever　forgotten　it。〃

Not　a　little　embarrassed；　Laura　was　at　a　loss　just　what　to　say；　and　in　the　end　remarked　lamely　enough：

〃I　am　sure　it　is　the　right　spiritthe　best　motto。〃

〃Miss　Dearborn；〃　Jadwin　began　again　suddenly；　〃why　don't　you　take　a　class　down　there。　　The　little　micks　aren't　so　dreadful　when　you　get　to　know　them。〃

〃I！〃　exclaimed　Laura；　rather　blankly。　　She　shook　her　head。　　〃Oh；　no；　Mr。　Jadwin。　　I　should　be　only　an　encumbrance。　　Don't　misunderstand　me。　　I　approve　of　the　work　with　all　my　heart；　but　I　am　not　fittedI　feel　no　call。　　I　should　be　so　inapt　that　I　know　I　should　do　no　good。　　My　training　has　been　so　different；　you　know；〃　she　said；　smiling。　　〃I　am　an　Episcopalian'of　the　straightest　sect　of　the　Pharisees。'　I　should　be　teaching　your　little　micks　all　about　the　meaning　of　candles；　and　'Eastings；'　and　the　absolution　and　remission　of　sins。〃

〃I　wouldn't　care　if　you　did；〃　he　answered。　　〃It's　the　indirect　influence　I'm　thinking　ofthe　indirect　influence　that　a　beautiful；　pure…hearted；　noble…minded　woman　spreads　around　her　wherever　she　goes。　　I　know　what　it　has　done　for　me。　　And　I　know　that　not　only　my　little　micks；　but　every　teacher　and　every　superintendent　in　that　school　would　be　inspired；　and　stimulated；　and　born　again　so　soon　as　ever　you　set　foot　in　the　building。　　Men　need　good　women；　Miss　Dearborn。　Men　who　are　doing　the　work　of　the　world。　　I　believe　in　women　as　I　believe　in　Christ。　　But　I　don't　believe　they　were　madeany　more　than　Christ　wasto　cultivate　beyond　a　certain　pointtheir　own　souls；　and　refine　their　own　minds；　and　live　in　a　sort　of　warmed…over；　dilettante；　stained…glass　world　of　seclusion　and　exclusion。　　No；　sir；　that　won't　do　for　the　United　States　and　the　men　who　are　making　them　the　greatest　nation　of　the　world。　　The　men　have　got　all　the　get…up…　and…get　they　want；　but　they　need　the　women　to　point　them　straight；　and　to　show　them　how　to　lead　that　other　kind　of　life　that　isn't　all　grind。　　Since　I've　known　you；　Miss　Dearborn；　I've　just　begun　to　wake　up　to　the　fact　that　there　_is_　that　other　kind；　but　I　can't　lead　that　life　without　you。　　There's　_no_　kind　of　life　that's　worth　anything　to　me　now　that　don't　include　you。　I　don't　need　to　tell　you　that　I　want　you　to　marry　me。　You　know　that　by　now；　I　guess；　without　any　words　from　me。　　I　love　you；　and　I　love　you　as　a　man；　not　as　a　boy；　seriously　and　earnestly。　　I　can　give　you　no　idea　_how_　seriously；　_how_　earnestly。　　I　want　you　to　be　my　wife。　Laura；　my　dear　girl；　I　_know_　I　could　make　you　happy。〃

〃It　isn't；〃　answered　Laura　slowly；　perceiving　as　he　paused　that　he　expected　her　to　say　something；〃　much　a　question　of　that。〃

〃What　is　it；　then？　　I　won't　make　a　scene。　　Don't　you　love　me？　　Don't　you　think；　my　girl；　you　could　ever　love　me？〃

Laura　hesitated　a　long　moment。　　She　had　taken　the　rose　from　her　shoulder；　and　plucking　the　petals　one　by　one；　put　them　delicately　between　her　teeth。　　From　the　other　end　of　the　room　came　the　clamorous　exhortations　of　Monsieur　Gerardy。　　Mrs。　Cressler　and　the　Gretry　girl　watched　the　progress　of　the　rehearsal　attentively　from　the　doorway　of　the　dining…room。　　Aunt　Wess'　and　Mr。　Cressler　were　discussing　psychic　research　and　seances；　on　the　sofa　on　the　other　side　of　the　room。　　After　a　while　Laura　spoke。

〃It　isn't　that　either；〃　she　said；　choosing　her　words　carefully。

〃What　is　it；　then？〃

〃I　don't　knowexactly。　　For　one　thing；　I　don't　think　I　_want_　to　be　married；　Mr。　Jadwinto　anybody。〃

〃I　would　wait　for　you。〃

〃Or　to　be　engaged。〃

〃But　the　day　must　come；　sooner　or　later；　when　you　must　be　both　engaged　and　married。　　You　_must_　ask　yourself　_some　time_　if　you　love　the　man　who　wishes　to　be　your　husband。　　Why　not　ask　yourself　now？〃

〃I　do；〃　she　answered。　　〃I　do　ask　myself。　　I　have　asked　myself。〃

〃Well；　what　do　you　decide？〃

〃That　I　don't　know。〃

〃Don't　you　think　you　would　love　me　in　time？　　Laura；　I　am　sure　you　would。　　I　would　_make_　you。〃

〃I　don't　know。　　I　suppose　that　is　a　stupid　answer。　　But　it　is；　if　I　am　to　be　honest；　and　I　am　trying　very　hard　to　be　honestwith　you　and　with　myselfthe　only　one　I　have。　　I　am　happy　just　as　I　am。　　I　like　you　and　Mr。　Cressler　and　Mr。　Corthelleverybody。　　But；　Mr。　Jadwin〃she　looked　him　full　in　the　face；　her　dark　eyes　full　of　gravity〃with　a　woman　it　is　so　seriousto　be　married。　　More　so　than　any　man　ever　understood。　　And；　oh；　one　must　be　so　sure；　so　sure。　　And　I　am　not　sure　now。　　I　am　not　sure　now。　　Even　if　I　were　sure　of　you；　I　could　not　say　I　was　sure　of　myself。　　Now　and　then　I　tell　myself；　and　even　poor；　dear　Aunt　Wess'；　that　I　shall　never　love　anybody；　that　I　shall　never　marry。　But　I　should　be　bitterly　sorry　if　I　thought　that　was　true。　　It　is　one　of　the　greatest　happinesses　to　which　I　look　forward；　that　some　day　I　shall　love　some　one　with　all　my　heart　and　soul；　and　shall　be　a　true　wife；　and　find　my　husband's　love　for　me　the　sweetest　thing　in　my　life。　　But　I　am　sure　that　that　day　has　not　come　yet。〃

〃And　when　it　does　come；〃　he　urged；　〃may　I　be　the　first　to　know？〃

She　smiled　a　little　gravely。

〃Ah；〃　she　answered；　〃I　would　not　know　myself　that　that　day　had　come　until　I　woke　to　the　fact　that　I　loved　the　man　who　had　asked　me　to　be　his　wife；　and　then　it　might　be　too　latefor　you。〃

〃But　now；　at　least；〃　he　persisted；　〃you　love　no　one。〃

〃Now；〃　she　repeated；　〃I　loveno　one。〃

〃And　I　may　take　such　encouragement　in　that　as　I　can？〃

And　then；　suddenly；　capriciously　even；　Laura；　an　inexplicable　spirit　of　inconsistency　besetting　her；　was　a　very　different　woman　from　the　one　who　an　instant　before　had　spoken　so　gravely　of　the　seriousness　of　marriage。　　She　hesitated　a　moment　before　answering　Jadwin；　her　head　on　one　side；　looking　at　the　rose　leaf　between　her　fingers。　　In　a　low　voice　she　said　at　last：

〃If　you　like。〃

But　before　Jadwin　could　reply；　Cressler　and　Aunt　Wess'　who　had　been　telling　each　other　of　their　〃experiences；〃　of　their　〃premonitions；〃　of　the　unaccountable　things　that　had　happened　to　them；　at　length　included　the　others　in　their　conversation。

〃J。；〃　remarked　Cressler；　〃did　anything　funny　ever　happen　to　_you_warnings；　presentiments；　that　sort　of　thing？　　Mrs。　Wessels　and　I　have　been　talking　spiritualism。　　Laura；　have　_you_　ever　had　any　'experiences'？〃

She　shook　her　head。

〃No；　no。　　I　am　too　material；　I　am　afraid。〃

〃How　about　you；　'J。'？〃

〃Nothing　much；　except　that　I　believe　in　'luck'a　little。　　The　other　day　I　flipped　a　coin　in　Gretry's　office。　　If　it　fell　heads　I　was　to　sell　wheat　short；　and　somehow　I　knew　all　the　time　that　the　coin　would　fall　headsand　so　it　did。〃

〃And　you　made　a　great　deal　of　money；〃　said　Laura。　　〃I　know。　　Mr。　Court　was　telling　me。　　That　was　splendid。〃

〃That　was　deplorable；　Laura；〃　said　Cressler；　gravely。　〃I　hope　some　day；〃　he　continued；　〃we　can　all　of　us　get　hold　of　this　man　and　make　him　solemnly　promise　never　to　gamble　in　wheat　again。〃

Laura　stared。　　To　her　mind　the　word　〃gambling〃　had　always　been　suspect。　　It　had　a　bad　sound；　it　seemed　to　be　associated　with　depravity　of　the　baser　sort。

〃Gambling！〃　she　murmured。

〃They　call　it　buying　and　selling；〃　he　went　on；　〃down　there　in　La　Salle　Street。　　But　it　is　simply　betting。　Betting　on　the　condition　of　the　market　weeks；　even　months；　in　advance。　　You　bet　wheat　goes　up。　　I　bet　it　goes　down。　　Those　fellows　in　the　Pit　don't　own　the　wheat；　never　even　see　it。　　Wou'dn't　kno