the red cross girl-第40节

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French　watering…places　and　on　the　Riviera。　I　felt　sure　that　it
was　in　France　I　had　already　seen　him；　but　where　I　could　not
recall。　He　was　hard　to　place。　Of　people　at　home　and　in　London
well　worth　knowing　he　talked　glibly；　but　in　speaking　of　them　he
made　several　slips。　It　was　his　taking　the　trouble　to　cover　up　the
slips　that　first　made　me　wonder　if　his　talking　about　himself　was
not　mere　vanity；　but　had　some　special　object。　I　felt　he　was
presenting　letters　of　introduction　in　order　that　later　he　might
ask　a　favor。　Whether　he　was　leading　up　to　an　immediate　loan；　or
in　New　York　would　ask　for　a　card　to　a　club；　or　an　introduction　to
a　banker；　I　could　not　tell。　But　in　forcing　himself　upon　me；
except　in　self…interest；　I　could　think　of　no　other　motive。　The
next　evening　I　discovered　the　motive。

He　was　in　the　smoking…room　playing　solitaire；　and　at　once　I
recalled　that　it　was　at　Aix…les…Bains　I　had　first　seen　him；　and
that　he　held　a　bank　at　baccarat。　When　he　asked　me　to　sit　down　I
said：　〃I　saw　you　last　summer　at　Aix…les…Bains。〃

His　eyes　fell　to　the　pack　in　his　hands　and　apparently　searched　it
for　some　particular　card。

〃What　was　I　doing？〃　he　asked。

〃Dealing　baccarat　at　the　Casino　des　Fleurs。〃

With　obvious　relief　he　laughed。

〃Oh；　yes；〃　he　assented；　〃jolly　place；　Aix。　But　I　lost　a　pot　of
money　there。　I'm　a　rotten　hand　at　cards。　Can't　win；　and　can't
leave　'em　alone。〃　As　though　for　this　weakness；　so　frankly
confessed；　he　begged　me　to　excuse　him；　he　smiled　appealingly。
〃Poker；　bridge；　chemin　de　fer；　I　like　'em　all；〃　he　rattled　on；
〃but　they　don't　like　me。　So　I　stick　to　solitaire。　It's　dull；　but
cheap。〃　He　shuffled　the　cards　clumsily。　As　though　making
conversation；　he　asked：　〃You　care　for　cards　yourself？〃

I　told　him　truthfully　I　did　not　know　the　difference　between　a
club　and　a　spade　and　had　no　curiosity　to　learn。　At　this；　when　he
found　he　had　been　wasting　time　on　me；　I　expected　him　to　show　some
sign　of　annoyance；　even　of　irritation；　but　his　disappointment
struck　far　deeper。　As　though　I　had　hurt　him　physically；　he　shut
his　eyes；　and　when　again　he　opened　them　I　saw　in　them　distress。
For　the　moment　I　believe　of　my　presence　he　was　utterly
unconscious。　His　hands　lay　idle　upon　the　table；　like　a　man　facing
a　crisis；　he　stared　before　him。　Quite　improperly；　I　felt　sorry
for　him。　In　me　he　thought　he　had　found　a　victim；　and　that　the
loss　of　the　few　dollars　he　might　have　won　should　so　deeply
disturb　him　showed　his　need　was　great。　Almost　at　once　he
abandoned　me　and　I　went　on　deck。　When　I　returned　an　hour　later　to
the　smoking…room　he　was　deep　in　a　game　of　poker。

As　I　passed　he　hailed　me　gayly。

〃Don't　scold；　now；〃　he　laughed；　〃you　know　I　can't　keep　away　from
it。〃

From　his　manner　those　at　the　table　might　have　supposed　we　were
friends　of　long　and　happy　companionship。　I　stopped　behind　his
chair；　but　he　thought　I　had　passed；　and　in　reply　to　one　of　the
players　answered：　〃Known　him　for　years；　he's　set　me　right　many　a
time。　When　I　broke　my　right　femur　'chasin；'　he　got　me　back　in　the
saddle　in　six　weeks。　All　my　people　swear　by　him。〃

One　of　the　players　smiled　up　at　me；　and　Talbot　turned。　But　his
eyes　met　mine　with　perfect　serenity。　He　even　held　up　his　cards
for　me　to　see。　〃What　would　you　draw？〃　he　asked。

His　audacity　so　astonished　me　that　in　silence　I　could　only　stare
at　him　and　walk　on。

When　on　deck　he　met　me　he　was　not　even　apologetic。　Instead；　as
though　we　were　partners　in　crime；　he　chuckled　delightedly。

〃Sorry；〃　he　said。　〃Had　to　do　it。　They　weren't　very　keen　at　my
taking　a　hand；　so　I　had　to　use　your　name。　But　I'm　all　right　now；〃
he　assured　me。　〃They　think　you　vouched　for　me；　and　to…night
they're　going　to　raise　the　limit。　I've　convinced　them　I'm　an　easy
mark。〃

〃And　I　take　it　you　are　not；〃　I　said　stiffly。

He　considered　this　unworthy　of　an　answer　and　only　smiled。　Then
the　smile　died；　and　again　in　his　eyes　I　saw　distress；　infinite
weariness；　and　fear。

As　though　his　thoughts　drove　him　to　seek　protection；　he　came
closer。

〃I'm　'in　bad；'　doctor；〃　he　said。　His　voice　was　frightened；
bewildered；　like　that　of　a　child。　〃I　can't　sleep；　nerves　all　on
the　loose。　I　don't　think　straight。　I　hear　voices；　and　no　one
around。　I　hear　knockings　at　the　door；　and　when　I　open　it；　no　one
there。　If　I　don't　keep　fit　I　can't　work；　and　this　trip　I　got　to
make　expenses。　You　couldn't　help　me；　could　youcouldn't　give　me
something　to　keep　my　head　straight？〃

The　need　of　my　keeping　his　head　straight　that　he　might　the　easier
rob　our　fellow…passengers　raised　a　pretty　question　of　ethics。　I
meanly　dodged　it。　I　told　him　professional　etiquette　required　I
should　leave　him　to　the　ship's　surgeon。

〃But　I　don't　know　HIM；〃　he　protested。

Mindful　of　the　use　he　had　made　of　my　name；　I　objected
strenuously：

〃Well；　you　certainly　don't　know　me。〃

My　resentment　obviously　puzzled　him。

〃I　know　who　you　ARE；〃　he　returned。　〃You　and　I〃With　a
deprecatory　gesture；　as　though　good　taste　forbade　him　saying　who
we　were；　he　stopped。　〃But　the　ship's　surgeon！〃　he　protested；
〃he's　an　awful　bounder！　Besides；〃　he　added　quite　simply；　〃he's
watching　me。〃

〃As　a　doctor；〃　I　asked；　〃or　watching　you　play　cards？〃

〃Play　cards；〃　the　young　man　answered。　〃I'm　afraid　he　was　ship's
surgeon　on　the　P。　&　O。　I　came　home　on。　There　was　trouble　that
voyage；　and　I　fancy　he　remembers　me。〃

His　confidences　were　becoming　a　nuisance。

〃But　you　mustn't　tell　me　that；〃　I　protested。　〃I　can't　have　you
making　trouble　on　this　ship；　too。　How　do　you　know　I　won't　go
straight　from　here　to　the　captain？〃

As　though　the　suggestion　greatly　entertained　him；　he　laughed。

He　made　a　mock　obeisance。

〃I　claim　the　seal　of　your　profession；〃　he　said。　〃Nonsense；〃　I
retorted。　〃It's　a　professional　secret　that　your　nerves　are　out　of
hand；　but　that　you　are　a　card…sharp　is　NOT。　Don't　mix　me　up　with
a　priest。〃

For　a　moment　Talbot；　as　though　fearing　he　had　gone　too　far；
looked　at　me　sharply；　he　bit　his　lower　lip　and　frowned。

〃I　got　to　make　expenses；〃　he　muttered。　〃And；　besides；　all　card
games　are　games　of　chance；　and　a　card…sharp　is　one　of　the
chances。　Anyway；〃　he　repeated；　as　though　disposing　of　all
argument；　〃I　got　to　make　expenses。〃

After　dinner；　when　I　came　to　the　smoking…room；　the　poker　party
sat　waiting；　and　one　of　them　asked　if　I　knew　where　they　could
find　〃my　friend。〃　I　should　have　said　then　that　Talbot　was　a
steamer　acquaintance　only；　but　I　hate　a　row；　and　I　let　the
chance　pass。

〃We　want　to　give　him　his　revenge；〃　one　of　them　volunteered。

〃He's　losing；　then？〃　I　asked。

The　man　chuckled　complacently。

〃The　only　loser；〃　he　said。

〃I　wouldn't　worry；〃　I　advised。　〃He'll　come　for　his　revenge。〃

That　night　after　I　had　turned　in　he　knocked　at　my　door。　I
switched　on　the　lights　and　saw　him　standing　at　the　foot　of　my
berth。　I　saw　also　that　with　difficulty　he　was　holding　himself　in
hand。

〃I'm　scared；〃　he　stammered；　〃scared！〃

I　wrote　out　a　requisition　on　the　surgeon　for　a　sleeping…potion
and　sent　it　to　him　by　the　steward；　giving　the　man　to　understand　I
wanted　it　for　myself。　Uninvited；　Talbot　had　seated　himself　on　the
sofa。　His　eyes　were　closed；　and　as　though　he　were　cold　he　was
shivering　and　hugging　himself　in　his　arms。

〃Have　you　been　drinking？〃　I　asked。

In　surprise　he　opened　his　eyes。

〃I　can't　drink；〃　he　answered　simply。　〃It's　nerves　and　worry。　I'm
tired。〃

He　relaxed　against　the　cushions；　his　arms　fell　heavily　at　his
sides；　the　fingers　lay　open。

〃God；〃　he　whispered；　〃how　tired　I　am！〃

In　spite　of　his　tanand　certainly　he　had　led　the　out…of…door
lifehis　face　showed　white。　For　the　moment　he　looked　old；　worn；
finished。

〃They're　crowdin'　me；〃　the　boy　whispered。　〃They're　always
crowdin'　me。〃　His　voice　was　querulous；　uncomprehending；　like
that　of　a　child　complaining　of　something　beyond　his　experience。
〃I　can't　remember　when　they　haven't　been　crowdin'　me。　Movin'　me
on；　you　understand？　Always　movin'　me　on。　Moved　me　out　of　India；
then　Cairo；　then　they　closed　Paris；　and　now　they've　shut　me　out
of　London。　I　opened　a　club　there；　very　quiet；　very　exclusive；
smart　neighborhood；　tooa　flat　in　Berkeley　Streetroulette　and
chemin　de　fer。　I　think　it　was　my　valet　sold　me　out；　anyway；　they
came　in　and　took　us　all　to　Bow　Street。　So　I've　plunged　on　this。
It's　my　last　chance！〃

〃This　trip？〃

〃No；　my　family　in　New　York。　Haven't　seen　'em　in　ten　years。　They
paid　me　to　live　abroad。　I'm　gambling　on　THEM；　gambling　on　their
takin'　me　back。　I'm　coming　home　as　the　Prodigal　Son；　tired　of
filling　my　belly　with　the　husks　that　the　swine　do　eat；　reformed
character；　repentant　and　all　that；　want　to　follow　the　straight
and　narrow；　and　they'll　kill　the　fatted　calf。〃　He　laughed
sardonically。　〃Like　hell　they　will！　They'd　rather　see　ME　killed。〃

It　seemed　to　me；　if　he　wished　his　family　to　believe　he　were
returning　repentant；　his　course　in　the　smoking…room　would　not
help　to　reassure　them。　I　suggested　as　much。

〃If　you　get　into　'trouble；'　as　you　call　it；〃　I　said；　〃and　they
send　a　wireless　to　the　police　to　be　at　the　wharf；　your　people
would　hardly〃

〃I　know；〃　he　interrupted；　〃but　I　got　to　chance　that。　I　GOT　to
make　enough　to　go　on　withuntil　I　see　my　family。〃

〃If　they　won't　see　you？〃　I　asked。　〃What　then？〃