roughing it-第66节

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as　straight　ahead　as　a　spy…glass。

Grown　people　didn't　mind　it；　but　it　most　always　made　the　children　cry；　it
was　so　sort　of　scary。　　She　tried　packing　it　in　raw　cotton；　but　it
wouldn't　work；　somehowthe　cotton　would　get　loose　and　stick　out　and　look
so　kind　of　awful　that　the　children　couldn't　stand　it　no　way。　　She　was
always　dropping　it　out；　and　turning　up　her　old　dead…light　on　the　company
empty；　and　making　them　oncomfortable；　becuz　she　never　could　tell　when　it
hopped　out；　being　blind　on　that　side；　you　see。　　So　somebody　would　have　to
hunch　her　and　say；　〃Your　game　eye　has　fetched　loose。　　Miss　Wagner　dear〃
and　then　all　of　them　would　have　to　sit　and　wait　till　she　jammed　it　in
againwrong　side　before；　as　a　general　thing；　and　green　as　a　bird's　egg；
being　a　bashful　cretur　and　easy　sot　back　before　company。　　But　being　wrong
side　before　warn't　much　difference；　anyway；　becuz　her　own　eye　was　sky…
blue　and　the　glass　one　was　yaller　on　the　front　side；　so　whichever　way　she
turned　it　it　didn't　match　nohow。

Old　Miss　Wagner　was　considerable　on　the　borrow；　she　was。　　When　she　had　a
quilting；　or　Dorcas　S'iety　at　her　house　she　gen'ally　borrowed　Miss
Higgins's　wooden　leg　to　stump　around　on；　it　was　considerable　shorter　than
her　other　pin；　but　much　she　minded　that。　　She　said　she　couldn't　abide
crutches　when　she　had　company；　becuz　they　were　so　slow；　said　when　she　had
company　and　things　had　to　be　done；　she　wanted　to　get　up　and　hump　herself。
She　was　as　bald　as　a　jug；　and　so　she　used　to　borrow　Miss　Jacops's　wig
Miss　Jacops　was　the　coffin…peddler's　wifea　ratty　old　buzzard；　he　was；
that　used　to　go　roosting　around　where　people　was　sick；　waiting　for　'em；
and　there　that　old　rip　would　sit　all　day；　in　the　shade；　on　a　coffin　that
he　judged　would　fit　the　can'idate；　and　if　it　was　a　slow　customer　and　kind
of　uncertain；　he'd　fetch　his　rations　and　a　blanket　along　and　sleep　in　the
coffin　nights。　　He　was　anchored　out　that　way；　in　frosty　weather；　for
about　three　weeks；　once；　before　old　Robbins's　place；　waiting　for　him；　and
after　that；　for　as　much　as　two　years；　Jacops　was　not　on　speaking　terms
with　the　old　man；　on　account　of　his　disapp'inting　him。　　He　got　one　of　his
feet　froze；　and　lost　money；　too；　becuz　old　Robbins　took　a　favorable　turn
and　got　well。　　The　next　time　Robbins　got　sick；　Jacops　tried　to　make　up
with　him；　and　varnished　up　the　same　old　coffin　and　fetched　it　along；　but
old　Robbins　was　too　many　for　him；　he　had　him　in；　and　'peared　to　be
powerful　weak；　he　bought　the　coffin　for　ten　dollars　and　Jacops　was　to　pay
it　back　and　twenty…five　more　besides　if　Robbins　didn't　like　the　coffin
after　he'd　tried　it。　　And　then　Robbins　died；　and　at　the　funeral　he
bursted　off　the　lid　and　riz　up　in　his　shroud　and　told　the　parson　to　let
up　on　the　performances；　becuz　he　could　not　stand　such　a　coffin　as　that。
You　see　he　had　been　in　a　trance　once　before；　when　he　was　young；　and　he
took　the　chances　on　another；　cal'lating　that　if　he　made　the　trip　it　was
money　in　his　pocket；　and　if　he　missed　fire　he　couldn't　lose　a　cent。　　And
by　George　he　sued　Jacops　for　the　rhino　and　got　jedgment；　and　he　set　up
the　coffin　in　his　back　parlor　and　said　he　'lowed　to　take　his　time；　now。
It　was　always　an　aggravation　to　Jacops；　the　way　that　miserable　old　thing
acted。　　He　moved　back　to　Indiany　pretty　soonwent　to　Wellsville
Wellsville　was　the　place　the　Hogadorns　was　from。　　Mighty　fine　family。
Old　Maryland　stock。　　Old　Squire　Hogadorn　could　carry　around　more　mixed
licker；　and　cuss　better　than　most　any　man　I　ever　see。　　His　second　wife
was　the　widder　Billingsshe　that　was　Becky　Martin；　her　dam　was　deacon
Dunlap's　first　wife。　　Her　oldest　child；　Maria；　married　a　missionary　and
died　in　graceet　up　by　the　savages。　　They　et　him；　too；　poor　feller
biled　him。　　It　warn't　the　custom；　so　they　say；　but　they　explained　to
friends　of　his'n　that　went　down　there　to　bring　away　his　things；　that
they'd　tried　missionaries　every　other　way　and　never　could　get　any　good
out　of　'emand　so　it　annoyed　all　his　relations　to　find　out　that　that
man's　life　was　fooled　away　just　out　of　a　dern'd　experiment；　so　to　speak。
But　mind　you；　there　ain't　anything　ever　reely　lost；　everything　that
people　can't　understand　and　don't　see　the　reason　of　does　good　if　you　only
hold　on　and　give　it　a　fair　shake；　Prov'dence　don't　fire　no　blank
ca'tridges；　boys。　　That　there　missionary's　substance；　unbeknowns　to
himself；　actu'ly　converted　every　last　one　of　them　heathens　that　took　a
chance　at　the　barbacue。　　Nothing　ever　fetched　them　but　that。　　Don't　tell
me　it　was　an　accident　that　he　was　biled。　　There　ain't　no　such　a　thing　as
an　accident。

When　my　uncle　Lem　was　leaning　up　agin　a　scaffolding　once；　sick；　or　drunk；
or　suthin；　an　Irishman　with　a　hod　full　of　bricks　fell　on　him　out　of　the
third　story　and　broke　the　old　man's　back　in　two　places。　　People　said　it
was　an　accident。　　Much　accident　there　was　about　that。　　He　didn't　know
what　he　was　there　for；　but　he　was　there　for　a　good　object。　　If　he　hadn't
been　there　the　Irishman　would　have　been　killed。　　Nobody　can　ever　make　me
believe　anything　different　from　that。　　Uncle　Lem's　dog　was　there。　　Why
didn't　the　Irishman　fall　on　the　dog？　　Becuz　the　dog　would　a　seen　him　a
coming　and　stood　from　under。　　That's　the　reason　the　dog　warn't　appinted。
A　dog　can't　be　depended　on　to　carry　out　a　special　providence。　　Mark　my
words　it　was　a　put…up　thing。　　Accidents　don't　happen；　boys。　　Uncle　Lem's
dogI　wish　you　could　a　seen　that　dog。　　He　was　a　reglar　shepherdor
ruther　he　was　part　bull　and　part　shepherdsplendid　animal；　belonged　to
parson　Hagar　before　Uncle　Lem　got　him。　　Parson　Hagar　belonged　to　the
Western　Reserve　Hagars；　prime　family；　his　mother　was　a　Watson；　one　of　his
sisters　married　a　Wheeler；　they　settled　in　Morgan　county；　and　he　got
nipped　by　the　machinery　in　a　carpet　factory　and　went　through　in　less　than
a　quarter　of　a　minute；　his　widder　bought　the　piece　of　carpet　that　had　his
remains　wove　in；　and　people　come　a　hundred　mile　to　'tend　the　funeral。
There　was　fourteen　yards　in　the　piece。

She　wouldn't　let　them　roll　him　up；　but　planted　him　just　sofull　length。
The　church　was　middling　small　where　they　preached　the　funeral；　and　they
had　to　let　one　end　of　the　coffin　stick　out　of　the　window。　　They　didn't
bury　himthey　planted　one　end；　and　let　him　stand　up；　same　as　a　monument。
And　they　nailed　a　sign　on　it　and　putput　onput　on　itsacred　tothe
m…e…m…o…r…yof　fourteen　y…a…r…d…sof　three…plycar…petcontaining
all　that　wasm…o…r…t…a…lofofW…i…l…l…i…a…mW…h…e〃

Jim　Blaine　had　been　growing　gradually　drowsy　and　drowsierhis　head
nodded；　once；　twice；　three　timesdropped　peacefully　upon　his　breast；　and
he　fell　tranquilly　asleep。　　The　tears　were　running　down　the　boys'　cheeks
they　were　suffocating　with　suppressed　laughterand　had　been　from　the
start；　though　I　had　never　noticed　it。　　I　perceived　that　I　was　〃sold。〃
I　learned　then　that　Jim　Blaine's　peculiarity　was　that　whenever　he　reached
a　certain　stage　of　intoxication；　no　human　power　could　keep　him　from
setting　out；　with　impressive　unction；　to　tell　about　a　wonderful　adventure
which　he　had　once　had　with　his　grandfather's　old　ramand　the　mention　of
the　ram　in　the　first　sentence　was　as　far　as　any　man　had　ever　heard　him
get；　concerning　it。　　He　always　maundered　off；　interminably；　from　one
thing　to　another；　till　his　whisky　got　the　best　of　him　and　he　fell　asleep。
What　the　thing　was　that　happened　to　him　and　his　grandfather's　old　ram　is
a　dark　mystery　to　this　day；　for　nobody　has　ever　yet　found　out。




CHAPTER　LIV。

Of　course　there　was　a　large　Chinese　population　in　Virginiait　is　the
case　with　every　town　and　city　on　the　Pacific　coast。　　They　are　a　harmless
race　when　white　men　either　let　them　alone　or　treat　them　no　worse　than
dogs；　in　fact　they　are　almost　entirely　harmless　anyhow；　for　they　seldom
think　of　resenting　the　vilest　insults　or　the　cruelest　injuries。　　They　are
quiet；　peaceable；　tractable；　free　from　drunkenness；　and　they　are　as
industrious　as　the　day　is　long。　　A　disorderly　Chinaman　is　rare；　and　a
lazy　one　does　not　exist。　　So　long　as　a　Chinaman　has　strength　to　use　his
hands　he　needs　no　support　from　anybody；　white　men　often　complain　of　want
of　work；　but　a　Chinaman　offers　no　such　complaint；　he　always　manages　to
find　something　to　do。　　He　is　a　great　convenience　to　everybodyeven　to
the　worst　class　of　white　men；　for　he　bears　the　most　of　their　sins；
suffering　fines　for　their　petty　thefts；　imprisonment　for　their　robberies；
and　death　for　their　murders。　　Any　white　man　can　swear　a　Chinaman's　life
away　in　the　courts；　but　no　Chinaman　can　testify　against　a　white　man。
Ours　is　the　〃land　of　the　free〃nobody　denies　thatnobody　challenges　it。
＇Maybe　it　is　because　we　won't　let　other　people　testify。＇　As　I　write；　news
comes　that　in　broad　daylight　in　San　Francisco；　some　boys　have　stoned　an
inoffensive　Chinaman　to　death；　and　that　although　a　large　crowd　witnessed
the　shameful　deed；　no　one　interfered。

There　are　seventy　thousand　（and　possibly　one　hundred　thousand）　Chinamen
on　the　Pacific　coast。　　There　were　about　a　thousand　in　Virginia。　　They
were　penned　into　a　〃Chinese　quarter〃a　thing　which　they　do　not
particularly　object　to；　as　they　are　fond　of　herding　together。　　Their
buildings　were　of　wood；　usually　only　one　story　high；　and　set　thickly
together　alo