太子爷小说网 > 英语电子书 > confessions of an english opium-eater >

第22节

confessions of an english opium-eater-第22节

小说: confessions of an english opium-eater 字数: 每页4000字

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页,按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页,按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部!
————未阅读完?加入书签已便下次继续阅读!



abjure as soon as I should find myself at liberty to bend my undivided attention and energy to this purpose。  It was not; however; until the 24th of June last that any tolerable concurrence of facilities for such an attempt arrived。  On that day I began my experiment; having previously settled in my own mind that I would not flinch; but would 〃stand up to the scratch〃 under any possible 〃punishment。〃 I must premise that about 170 or 180 drops had been my ordinary allowance for many months; occasionally I had run up as high as 500; and once nearly to 700; in repeated preludes to my final experiment I had also gone as low as 100 drops; but had found it impossible to stand it beyond the fourth daywhich; by the way; I have always found more difficult to get over than any of the preceding three。  I went off under easy sail130 drops a day for three days; on the fourth I plunged at once to 80。  The misery which I now suffered 〃took the conceit〃 out of me at once; and for about a month I continued off and on about this mark; then I sunk to 60; and the next day tonone at all。  This was the first day for nearly ten years that I had existed without opium。  I persevered in my abstinence for ninety hours; i。e。; upwards of half a week。  Then I tookask me not how much; say; ye severest; what would ye have done?  Then I abstained againthen took about 25 drops then abstained; and so on。

Meantime the symptoms which attended my case for the first six weeks of my experiment were these:  enormous irritability and excitement of the whole system; the stomach in particular restored to a full feeling of vitality and sensibility; but often in great pain; unceasing restlessness night and day; sleepI scarcely knew what it was; three hours out of the twenty…four was the utmost I had; and that so agitated and shallow that I heard every sound that was near me。  Lower jaw constantly swelling; mouth ulcerated; and many other distressing symptoms that would be tedious to repeat; amongst which; however; I must mention one; because it had never failed to accompany any attempt to renounce opiumviz。; violent sternutation。 This now became exceedingly troublesome; sometimes lasting for two hours at once; and recurring at least twice or three times a day。  I was not much surprised at this on recollecting what I had somewhere heard or read; that the membrane which lines the nostrils is a prolongation of that which lines the stomach; whence; I believe; are explained the inflammatory appearances about the nostrils of dram drinkers。  The sudden restoration of its original sensibility to the stomach expressed itself; I suppose; in this way。  It is remarkable also that during the whole period of years through which I had taken opium I had never once caught cold (as the phrase is); nor even the slightest cough。  But now a violent cold attacked me; and a cough soon after。  In an unfinished fragment of a letter begun about this time toI find these words:  〃You ask me to write theDo you know Beaumont and Fletcher's play of 〃Thierry and Theodore〃?  There you will see my case as to sleep; nor is it much of an exaggeration in other features。  I protest to you that I have a greater influx of thoughts in one hour at present than in a whole year under the reign of opium。  It seems as though all the thoughts which had been frozen up for a decade of years by opium had now; according to the old fable; been thawed at oncesuch a multitude stream in upon me from all quarters。  Yet such is my impatience and hideous irritability that for one which I detain and write down fifty escape me:  in spite of my weariness from suffering and want of sleep; I cannot stand still or sit for two minutes together。  'I nunc; et versus tecum meditare canoros。'〃

At this stage of my experiment I sent to a neighbouring surgeon; requesting that he would come over to see me。  In the evening he came; and after briefly stating the case to him; I asked this question; Whether he did not think that the opium might have acted as a stimulus to the digestive organs; and that the present state of suffering in the stomach; which manifestly was the cause of the inability to sleep; might arise from indigestion?  His answer was; No; on the contrary; he thought that the suffering was caused by digestion itself; which should naturally go on below the consciousness; but which from the unnatural state of the stomach; vitiated by so long a use of opium; was become distinctly perceptible。  This opinion was plausible; and the unintermitting nature of the suffering disposes me to think that it was true; for if it had been any mere IRREGULAR affection of the stomach; it should naturally have intermitted occasionally; and constantly fluctuated as to degree。  The intention of nature; as manifested in the healthy state; obviously is to withdraw from our notice all the vital motions; such as the circulation of the blood; the expansion and contraction of the lungs; the peristaltic action of the stomach; &c。; and opium; it seems; is able in this; as in other instances; to counteract her purposes。  By the advice of the surgeon I tried BITTERS。  For a short time these greatly mitigated the feelings under which I laboured; but about the forty…second day of the experiment the symptoms already noticed began to retire; and new ones to arise of a different and far more tormenting class; under these; but with a few intervals of remission; I have since continued to suffer。  But I dismiss them undescribed for two reasons:  first; because the mind revolts from retracing circumstantially any sufferings from which it is removed by too short or by no interval。 To do this with minuteness enough to make the review of any use would be indeed infandum renovare dolorem; and possibly without a sufficient motive; for secondly; I doubt whether this latter state be anyway referable to opiumpositively considered; or even negatively; that is; whether it is to be numbered amongst the last evils from the direct action of opium; or even amongst the earliest evils consequent upon a WANT of opium in a system long deranged by its use。  Certainly one part of the symptoms might be accounted for from the time of year (August); for though the summer was not a hot one; yet in any case the sum of all the heat FUNDED (if one may say so) during the previous months; added to the existing heat of that month; naturally renders August in its better half the hottest part of the year; and it so happened thatthe excessive perspiration which even at Christmas attends any great reduction in the daily quantum of opiumand which in July was so violent as to oblige me to use a bath five or six times a dayhad about the setting…in of the hottest season wholly retired; on which account any bad effect of the heat might be the more unmitigated。  Another symptomviz。; what in my ignorance I call internal rheumatism (sometimes affecting the shoulders; &c。; but more often appearing to be seated in the stomach)seemed again less probably attributable to the opium; or the want of opium; than to the dampness of the house {21} which I inhabit; which had about this time attained its maximum; July having been; as usual; a month of incessant rain in our most rainy part of England。

Under these reasons for doubting whether opium had any connexion with the latter stage of my bodily wretchednessexcept; indeed; as an occasional cause; as having left the body weaker and more crazy; and thus predisposed to any mal…influence whateverI willingly spare my reader all description of it; let it perish to him; and would that I could as easily say let it perish to my own remembrances; that any future hours of tranquillity may not be disturbed by too vivid an ideal of possible human misery!

So much for the sequel of my experiment。  As to the former stage; in which probably lies the experiment and its application to other cases; I must request my reader not to forget the reasons for which I have recorded it。  These were two:  First; a belief that I might add some trifle to the history of opium as a medical agent。  In this I am aware that I have not at all fulfilled my own intentions; in consequence of the torpor of mind; pain of body; and extreme disgust to the subject which besieged me whilst writing that part of my paper; which part being immediately sent off to the press (distant about five degrees of latitude); cannot be corrected or improved。 But from this account; rambling as it may be; it is evident that thus much of benefit may arise to the persons most interested in such a history of opium; viz。; to opium…eaters in general; that it establishes; for their consolation and encouragement; the fact that opium may be renounced; and without greater sufferings than an ordinary resolution may support; and by a pretty rapid course {22} of descent。

To communicate this result of my experiment was my foremost purpose。 Secondly; as a purpose collateral to this; I wished to explain how it had become impossible for me to compose a Third Part in time to accompany this republication; for during the time of this experiment the proof…sheets of this reprint were sent to me from London; and such was my inability to expand or to improve them; that I could not even bear to read them over with attention enough to notice the press errors

返回目录 上一页 下一页 回到顶部 0 0

你可能喜欢的