the surprising adventures of baron munchausen-第31节

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Baron　Munchausen；　enter　his　castle　walls。〃

In　short；　we　entered　the　castle。　The　governor　sat　with　all　our　company　to　table；　surrounded　by　his　friends；　of　a　very　fierce　and　warlike　appearance。　They　spoke　but　little；　and　seemed　very　austere　and　reserved；　until　the　first　course　was　served　up。　The　dishes　were　brought　in　by　a　number　of　bears　walking　on　their　hind…legs；　and　on　every　dish　was　a　fricassee　of　pistols；　pistol…bullets；　sauce　of　gunpowder；　and　aqua…vit？。　This　entertainment　seemed　rather　indigestible　by　even　an　ostrich's　stomach；　when　the　governor　addressed　us；　and　informed　me　that　it　was　ever　his　custom　to　strangers　to　offer　them　for　the　first　course　a　service　similar　to　that　before　us；　and　if　they　were　inclined　to　accept　the　invitation；　he　would　fight　them　as　much　as　they　pleased；　but　if　they　could　not　relish　the　pistol…bullets；　&c。；　he　would　conclude　them　peaceable；　and　try　what　better　politeness　he　could　show　them　in　his　castle。　In　short；　the　first　course　being　removed　untouched；　we　dined；　and　after　dinner　the　governor　forced　the　company　to　push　the　bottle　about　with　alacrity　and　to　excess。　He　informed　us　that　he　was　the　Nareskin　Rowskimowmowsky；　who　had　retired　amidst　these　wilds；　disgusted　with　the　court　of　Petersburgh。　I　was　rejoiced　to　meet　him；　I　recollected　my　old　friend；　whom　I　had　known　at　the　court　of　Russia；　when　I　rejected　the　hand　of　the　Empress。　The　Nareskin；　with　all　his　knights…companions；　drank　to　an　astonishing　degree；　and　we　all　set　off　upon　hobby　horses　in　full　cry　out　of　the　castle。　Never　was　there　seen　such　a　cavalcade　before。　In　front　galloped　a　hundred　knights　belonging　to　the　castle；　with　hunting　horns　and　a　pack　of　excellent　dogs；　and　then　came　the　Nareskin　Rowskimowmowsky；　Gog　and　Magog；　Hilaro　Frosticos；　and　your　humble　servant；　hallooing　and　shouting　like　so　many　demoniacs；　and　spurring　our　hobby　horses　at　an　infernal　rate　until　we　arrived　in　the　kingdom　of　Loggerheads。　The　kingdom　of　Loggerheads　was　wilder　than　any　part　of　Siberia；　and　the　Nareskin　had　here　built　a　romantic　summer…house　in　a　Gothic　taste；　to　which　he　would　frequently　retire　with　his　company　after　dinner。　The　Nareskin　had　a　dozen　bears　of　enormous　stature　that　danced　for　our　amusement；　and　their　chiefs　performed　the　/minuet　de　la　cour/　to　admiration。　And　here　the　most　noble　Hilaro　Frosticos　thought　proper　to　ask　the　Nareskin　some　intelligence　about　Wauwau；　in　quest　of　whom　we　had　travelled　over　such　a　tract　of　country；　and　encountered　so　many　dangerous　adventures；　and　also　invited　the　Nareskin　Rowskimowmowsky　to　attend　us　with　all　his　bears　in　the　expedition。　The　Nareskin　appeared　astonished　at　the　idea；　he　looked　with　infinite　hauteur　and　ferocity　on　Hilaro；　and　affecting　a　violent　passion　asked　him；　〃Did　he　imagine　that　the　Nareskin　Rowskimowmowsky　could　condescend　to　take　notice　of　a　Wauwau；　let　her　fly　what　way　she　would！　Or　did　he　think　a　chief　possessing　such　blood　in　his　veins　could　engage　in　such　a　foreign　pursuit？　By　the　blood　and　by　the　ashes　of　my　great　grandmother；　I　would　cut　off　your　head！〃

Hilaro　Frosticos　resented　this　oration；　and　in　short　a　general　riot　commenced。　The　bears；　together　with　the　hundred　knights；　took　the　part　of　the　Nareskin；　and　Gog　and　Magog；　Don　Quixote；　the　Sphinx；　Lord　Whittington；　the　bulls；　the　crickets；　the　judges；　the　matrons；　and　Hilaro　Frosticos；　made　noble　warfare　against　them。

I　drew　my　sword；　and　challenged　the　Nareskin　to　single　combat。　He　frowned；　while　his　eyes　sparkled　fire　and　indignation；　and　bracing　a　buckler　on　his　left　arm；　he　advanced　against　me。　I　made　a　blow　at　him　with　all　my　force；　which　he　received　upon　his　buckler；　and　my　sword　broke　short。

Ungenerous　Nareskin；　seeing　me　disarmed；　he　still　pushed　forward；　dealing　his　blows　upon　me　with　the　utmost　violence；　which　I　parried　with　my　shield　and　the　hilt　of　my　broken　sword；　and　fought　like　a　game…cock。

An　enormous　bear　at　the　same　time　attacked　me；　but　I　ran　my　hand　still　retaining　the　hilt　of　my　broken　sword　down　his　throat；　and　tore　up　his　tongue　by　the　roots。　I　then　seized　his　carcase　by　the　hind…legs；　and　whirling　it　over　my　head；　gave　the　Nareskin　such　a　blow　with　his　own　bear　as　evidently　stunned　him。　I　repeated　my　blows；　knocking　the　bear's　head　against　the　Nareskin's　head；　until；　by　one　happy　blow；　I　got　his　head　into　the　bear's　jaws；　and　the　creature　being　still　somewhat　alive　and　convulsive；　the　teeth　closed　upon　him　like　nutcrackers。　I　threw　the　bear　from　me；　but　the　Nareskin　remained　sprawling；　unable　to　extricate　his　head　from　the　bear's　jaws；　imploring　for　mercy。　I　gave　the　wretch　his　life：　a　lion　preys　not　upon　carcases。

At　the　same　time　my　troop　had　effectually　routed　the　bears　and　the　rest　of　their　adversaries。　I　was　merciful；　and　ordered　quarter　to　be　given。

At　that　moment　I　perceived　Wauwau　flying　at　a　great　height　through　the　heavens；　and　we　instantly　set　out　in　pursuit　of　her；　and　never　stopped　until　we　arrived　at　Kamschatka；　thence　we　passed　to　Otaheite。　I　met　my　old　acquaintance　Omai；　who　had　been　in　England　with　the　great　navigator；　Cook；　and　I　was　glad　to　find　he　had　established　Sunday　schools　over　all　the　islands。　I　talked　to　him　of　Europe；　and　his　former　voyage　to　England。　〃Ah！〃　said　he；　most　emphatically；　〃the　English；　the　cruel　English；　to　murder　me　with　goodness；　and　refine　upon　my　torturetook　me　to　Europe；　and　showed　me　the　court　of　England；　the　delicacy　of　exquisite　life；　they　showed　me　gods；　and　showed　me　heaven；　as　if　on　purpose　to　make　me　feel　the　loss　of　them。〃

From　these　islands　we　set　out；　attended　by　a　fleet　of　canoes　with　fighting…stages　and　the　chiefest　warriors　of　the　islands；　commanded　by　Omai。　Thus　the　chariot　of　Queen　Mab；　my　team　of　bulls　and　the　crickets；　the　ark；　the　Sphinx；　and　the　balloons；　with　Hilaro　Frosticos；　Gog　and　Magog；　Lord　Whittington；　and　the　Lord　Mayor's　show；　Don　Quixote；　&c。；　with　my　fleet　of　canoes；　altogether　cut　a　very　formidable　appearance　on　our　arrival　at　the　Isthmus　of　Darien。　Sensible　of　what　general　benefit　it　would　be　to　mankind；　I　immediately　formed　a　plan　of　cutting　a　canal　across　the　isthmus　from　sea　to　sea。

For　this　purpose　I　drove　my　chariot　with　the　greatest　impetuosity　repeatedly　from　shore　to　shore；　in　the　same　track；　tearing　up　the　rocks　and　earth　thereby；　and　forming　a　tolerable　bed　for　the　water。　Gog　and　Magog　next　advanced　at　the　head　of　a　million　of　people　from　the　realms　of　North　and　South　America；　and　from　Europe；　and　with　infinite　labour　cleared　away　the　earth；　&c。；　that　I　had　ploughed　up　with　my　chariot。　I　then　again　drove　my　chariot；　making　the　canal　wider　and　deeper；　and　ordered　Gog　and　Magog　to　repeat　their　labour　as　before。　The　canal　being　a　quarter　of　a　mile　broad；　and　three　hundred　yards　in　depth；　I　thought　it　sufficient；　and　immediately　let　in　the　waters　of　the　sea。　I　did　imagine；　that　from　the　rotatory　motion　of　the　earth　on　its　axis　from　west　to　east　the　sea　would　be　higher　on　the　eastern　than　the　western　coast；　and　that　on　the　uniting　of　the　two　seas　there　would　be　a　strong　current　from　the　east；　and　it　happened　just　as　I　expected。　The　sea　came　in　with　tremendous　magnificence；　and　enlarged　the　bounds　of　the　canal；　so　as　to　make　a　passage　of　some　miles　broad　from　ocean　to　ocean；　and　make　an　island　of　South　America。　Several　sail　of　trading　vessels　and　men…of…war　sailed　through　this　new　channel　to　the　South　Seas；　China；　&c。；　and　saluted　me　with　all　their　cannon　as　they　passed。

I　looked　through　my　telescope　at　the　moon；　and　perceived　the　philosophers　there　in　great　commotion。　They　could　plainly　discern　the　alteration　on　the　surface　of　our　globe；　and　thought　themselves　somehow　interested　in　the　enterprise　of　their　fellow…mortals　in　a　neighbouring　planet。　They　seemed　to　think　it　admirable　that　such　little　beings　as　we　men　should　attempt　so　magnificent　a　performance；　that　would　be　observable　even　in　a　separate　world。

Thus　having　wedded　the　Atlantic　Ocean　to　the　South　Sea；　I　returned　to　England；　and　found　Wauwau　precisely　in　the　very　spot　whence　she　had　set　out；　after　having　led　us　a　chase　all　round　the　world。



　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　CHAPTER　XXXIII

　　/The　Baron　goes　to　Petersburgh；　and　converses　with　the　Empress　　　Persuades　the　Russians　and　Turks　to　cease　cutting　one　another's　　　throats；　and　in　concert　cut　a　canal　across　the　Isthmus　of　Suez　　　The　Baron　discovers　the　Alexandrine　Library；　and　meets　with　Hermes　　　TrismegistusBesieges　Seringapatam；　and　challenges　Tippoo　Sahib　　　to　single　combatThey　fightThe　Baron　receives　some　wounds　to　　　his　face；　but　at　last　vanquishes　the　tyrantThe　Baron　returns　to　　　Europe；　and　raises　the　hull　of　the　〃Royal　George。〃/

Seized　with　a　fury　of　canal…cutting；　I　took　it　in　my　head　to　form　an　immediate　communication　between　the　Mediterranean　and　the　Red　Sea；　and　therefore　set　out　for　Petersburgh。

The　sanguinary　ambition　of　the　Empress　would　not　listen　to　my　proposals；　until　I　took　a　private　opportunity；　taking　a　cup　of　coffee　with　her　Majesty；　to　tell　her　that　I　would　absolutely　sacrifice　myself　for　the　general　good　of　mankind；　and　if　she　would　accede　to　my　proposals；　would；　on　the　completion　of　the　canal；　/ipso　facto/；　give　her　my　hand　in　marriage！

〃My　dear；　dear　Baron；〃　said　she；　〃I　accede　to　everything　you　please；　and　agree　to　make　peace　with　the　Porte　on