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of my purpose has come off; and Cedarcrantz and Pilsach are 

sacked。  The rest of it has all gone to water。  The triple…

headed ass at home; in his plenitude of ignorance; prefers to 

collect the taxes and scatter the Mataafas by force or the 

threat of force。  It may succeed; and I suppose it will。  It 

is none the less for that expensive; harsh; unpopular and 

unsettling。  I am young enough to have been annoyed; and 

altogether eject and renegate the whole idea of political 

affairs。  Success in that field appears to be the 

organisation of failure enlivened with defamation of 

character; and; much as I love pickles and hot water (in your 

true phrase) I shall take my pickles in future from Crosse 

and Blackwell and my hot water with a dose of good Glenlivat。



Do not bother at all about the wall…papers。  We have had the 

whole of our new house varnished; and it looks beautiful。  I 

wish you could see the hall; poor room; it had to begin life 

as an infirmary during our recent visitation; but it is 

really a handsome comely place; and when we get the 

furniture; and the pictures; and what is so very much more 

decorative; the picture frames; will look sublime。





JAN。 30TH。





I have written to Charles asking for Rowlandson's Syntax and 

Dance of Death out of our house; and begging for anything 

about fashions and manners (fashions particularly) for 1814。  

Can you help?  Both the Justice Clerk and St。 Ives fall in 

that fated year。  Indeed I got into St。 Ives while going over 

the Annual Register for the other。  There is a kind of fancy 

list of Chaps。 of St。 Ives。  (It begins in Edinburgh Castle。) 

I。 Story of a lion rampant (that was a toy he had made; and 

given to a girl visitor)。  II。  Story of a pair of scissors。  

III。 St。 Ives receives a bundle of money。  IV。 St。 Ives is 

shown a house。  V。 The Escape。  VI。 The Cottage (Swanston 

College)。  VII。 The Hen…house。  VIII。 Three is company and 

four none。  IX。 The Drovers。  X。 The Great North Road。  XI。 

Burchell Fenn。  XII。 The covered cart。  XIII。 The doctor。  

XIV。 The Luddites。  V。 Set a thief to catch a thief。  XXVI。 

M。 le Comte de Keroualle (his uncle; the rich EMIGRE; whom he 

finds murdered)。  XVII。 The cousins。  XVIII。 Mr。 Sergeant 

Garrow。  XIX。 A meeting at the Ship; Dover。  XX。 Diane。  XXI。 

The Duke's Prejudices。  XXII。 The False Messenger。  XXIII。 

The gardener's ladder。  XXIV。 The officers。  XXV。 Trouble 

with the Duke。  XXVI。 Fouquet again。  XXVII。 The Aeronaut。  

XXVIII。 The True…Blooded Yankee。  XXIX。 In France。  I don't 

know where to stop。  Apropos; I want a book about Paris; and 

the FIRST RETURN of the EMIGRES and all up to the CENT JOURS: 

d'ye ken anything in my way?  I want in particular to know 

about them and the Napoleonic functionaries and officers; and 

to get the colour and some vital details of the business of 

exchange of departments from one side to the other。  Ten 

chapters are drafted; and VIII。 re…copied by me; but will 

want another dressing for luck。  It is merely a story of 

adventure; rambling along; but that is perhaps the guard that 

'sets my genius best;' as Alan might have said。  I wish I 

could feel as easy about the other!  But there; all novels 

are a heavy burthen while they are doing; and a sensible 

disappointment when they are done。



For God's sake; let me have a copy of the new German Samoa 

White book。  R。 L。 S。







CHAPTER XXVI







AT SEA; S。S。 & MARIPOSA;

FEB。 19th; '93。





MY DEAR COLVIN; … You will see from this heading that I am 

not dead yet nor likely to be。  I was pretty considerably out 

of sorts; and that is indeed one reason why Fanny; Belle; and 

I have started out for a month's lark。  To be quite exact; I 

think it will be about five weeks before we get home。  We 

shall stay between two and three in Sydney。  Already; though 

we only sailed yesterday; I am feeling as fit as a fiddle。  

Fanny ate a whole fowl for breakfast; to say nothing of a 

tower of hot cakes。  Belle and I floored another hen betwixt 

the pair of us; and I shall be no sooner done with the 

present amanuensing racket than I shall put myself outside a 

pint of Guinness。  If you think this looks like dying of 

consumption in Apia I can only say I differ from you。  In the 

matter of David; I have never yet received my proofs at all; 

but shall certainly wait for your suggestions。  Certainly; 

Chaps。 17 to 20 are the hitch; and I confess I hurried over 

them with both wings spread。  This is doubtless what you 

complain of。  Indeed; I placed my single reliance on Miss 

Grant。  If she couldn't ferry me over; I felt I had to stay 

there。



About ISLAND NIGHTS' ENTERTAINMENTS all you say is highly 

satisfactory。  Go in and win。



The extracts from the TIMES I really cannot trust myself to 

comment upon。  They were infernally satisfactory; so; and 

perhaps still more so; was a letter I had at the same time 

from Lord Pembroke。  If I have time as I go through Auckland; 

I am going to see Sir George Grey。



Now I really think that's all the business。  I have been 

rather sick and have had two small hemorrhages; but the 

second I believe to have been accidental。  No good denying 

that this annoys; because it do。  However; you must expect 

influenza to leave some harm; and my spirits; appetite; peace 

on earth and goodwill to men are all on a rising market。  

During the last week the amanuensis was otherwise engaged; 

whereupon I took up; pitched into; and about one half 

demolished another tale; once intended to be called THE PEARL 

FISHER; but now razeed and called THE SCHOONER FARRALONE。  We 

had a capital start; the steamer coming in at sunrise; and 

just giving us time to get our letters ere she sailed again。  

The manager of the German firm (O strange; changed days!) 

danced attendance upon us all morning; his boat conveyed us 

to and from the steamer。





FEB。 21ST。





All continues well。  Amanuensis bowled over for a day; but 

afoot again and jolly; Fanny enormously bettered by the 

voyage; I have been as jolly as a sand…boy as usual at sea。  

The Amanuensis sits opposite to me writing to her offspring。  

Fanny is on deck。  I have just supplied her with the Canadian 

Pacific Agent; and so left her in good hands。  You should 

hear me at table with the Ulster purser and a little punning 

microscopist called Davis。  Belle does some kind of abstruse 

Boswellising; after the first meal; having gauged the kind of 

jests that would pay here; I observed; 'Boswell is Barred 

during this cruise。'





23RD





We approach Auckland and I must close my mail。  All goes well 

with the trio。  Both the ladies are hanging round a beau … 

the same … that I unearthed for them: I am general provider; 

and especially great in the beaux business。  I corrected some 

proofs for Fanny yesterday afternoon; fell asleep over them 

in the saloon … and the whole ship seems to have been down 

beholding me。  After I woke up; had a hot bath; a whiskey 

punch and a cigarette; and went to bed; and to sleep too; at 

8。30; a recrudescence of Vailima hours。  Awoke to…day; and 

had to go to the saloon clock for the hour … no sign of dawn 

… all heaven grey rainy fog。  Have just had breakfast; 

written up one letter; register and close this。







CHAPTER XXVII







Bad pen; bad ink;

bad light; bad

blotting…paper。



S。 S。 MARIPOSA; AT SEA。

APIA DUE BY DAYBREAK TO…MORROW 9 P。M。





MY DEAR COLVIN; … Have had an amusing but tragic holiday; 

from which we return in disarray。  Fanny quite sick; but I 

think slowly and steadily mending; Belle in a terrific state 

of dentistry troubles which now seem calmed; and myself with 

a succession of gentle colds out of which I at last succeeded 

in cooking up a fine pleurisy。  By stopping and stewing in a 

perfectly airless state…room I seem to have got rid of the 

pleurisy。  Poor Fanny had very little fun of her visit; 

having been most of the time on a diet of maltine and slops … 

and this while the rest of us were rioting on oysters and 

mushrooms。  Belle's only devil in the hedge was the dentist。  

As for me; I was entertained at the General Assembly of the 

Presbyterian Church; likewise at a sort of artistic club; 

made speeches at both; and may therefore be said to have 

been; like Saint Paul; all things to all men。  I have an 

account of the latter racket which I meant to have enclosed 

in this。 。 。 。 Had some splendid photos taken; likewise a 

medallion by a French sculptor; met Graham; who returned with 

us as far as Auckland。  Have seen a good deal too of Sir 

George Grey; what a wonderful old historic figure to be 

walking on your arm and recalling ancient events and 

instances!  It makes a man small; and yet the extent to which 

he approved what I had done … or rather have tried to do … 

encouraged me。  Sir G

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