three men on the bummel-第36节

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you　can　think　of。〃

It　is　the　same　everywhere。　　Each　country　keeps　a　special
pronunciation　exclusively　for　the　use　of　foreignersa
pronunciation　they　never　dream　of　using　themselves；　that　they
cannot　understand　when　it　is　used。　　I　once　heard　an　English　lady
explaining　to　a　Frenchman　how　to　pronounce　the　word　Have。

〃You　will　pronounce　it；〃　said　the　lady　reproachfully；　〃as　if　it
were　spelt　H…a…v。　　It　isn't。　　There　is　an　'e'　at　the　end。〃

〃But　I　thought；〃　said　the　pupil；　〃that　you　did　not　sound　the　'e'　at
the　end　of　h…a…v…e。〃

〃No　more　you　do；〃　explained　his　teacher。　　〃It　is　what　we　call　a
mute　'e'；　but　it　exercises　a　modifying　influence　on　the　preceding
vowel。〃

Before　that；　he　used　to　say　〃have〃　quite　intelligently。
Afterwards；　when　he　came　to　the　word　he　would　stop　dead；　collect
his　thoughts；　and　give　expression　to　a　sound　that　only　the　context
could　explain。

Putting　aside　the　sufferings　of　the　early　martyrs；　few　men；　I
suppose；　have　gone　through　more　than　I　myself　went　through　in
trying　to　I　attain　the　correct　pronunciation　of　the　German　word　for
church〃Kirche。〃　　Long　before　I　had　done　with　it　I　had　determined
never　to　go　to　church　in　Germany；　rather　than　be　bothered　with　it。

〃No；　no；〃　my　teacher　would　explainhe　was　a　painstaking　gentleman；
〃you　say　it　as　if　it　were　spelt　K…i…r…c…h…k…e。　　There　is　no　k。　　It
is。〃　　And　he　would　illustrate　to　me　again；　for　the　twentieth　time
that　morning；　how　it　should　be　pronounced；　the　sad　thing　being　that
I　could　never　for　the　life　of　me　detect　any　difference　between　the
way　he　said　it　and　the　way　I　said　it。　　So　he　would　try　a　new
method。

〃You　say　it　from　your　throat；〃　he　would　explain。　　He　was　quite
right；　I　did。　　〃I　want　you　to　say　it　from　down　here；〃　and　with　a
fat　forefinger　he　would　indicate　the　region　from　where　I　was　to
start。　　After　painful　efforts；　resulting　in　sounds　suggestive　of
anything　rather　than　a　place　of　worship；　I　would　excuse　myself。

〃I　really　fear　it　is　impossible；〃　I　would　say。　　〃You　see；　for　years
I　have　always　talked　with　my　mouth；　as　it　were；　I　never　knew　a　man
could　talk　with　his　stomach。　　I　doubt　if　it　is　not　too　late　now　for
me　to　learn。〃

By　spending　hours　in　dark　corners；　and　practising　in　silent
streets；　to　the　terror　of　chance　passers…by；　I　came　at　last　to
pronounce　this　word　correctly。　　My　teacher　was　delighted　with　me；
and　until　I　came　to　Germany　I　was　pleased　with　myself。　　In　Germany
I　found　that　nobody　understood　what　I　meant　by　it。　　I　never　got
near　a　church　with　it。　　I　had　to　drop　the　correct　pronunciation；
and　painstakingly　go　back　to　my　first　wrong　pronunciation。　　Then
they　would　brighten　up；　and　tell　me　it　was　round　the　corner；　or
down　the　next　street；　as　the　case　might　be。

I　also　think　pronunciation　of　a　foreign　tongue　could　be　better
taught　than　by　demanding　from　the　pupil　those　internal　acrobatic
feats　that　are　generally　impossible　and　always　useless。　　This　is
the　sort　of　instruction　one　receives：

〃Press　your　tonsils　against　the　underside　of　your　larynx。　　Then
with　the　convex　part　of　the　septum　curved　upwards　so　as　almostbut
not　quiteto　touch　the　uvula；　try　with　the　tip　of　your　tongue　to
reach　your　thyroid。　　Take　a　deep　breath；　and　compress　your　glottis。
Now；　without　opening　your　lips；　say　'Garoo。'〃

And　when　you　have　done　it　they　are　not　satisfied。



CHAPTER　XIII



An　examination　into　the　character　and　behaviour　of　the　German
studentThe　German　MensurUses　and　abuses　of　useViews　of　an
impressionistThe　humour　of　the　thingRecipe　for　making　savages
The　Jungfrau：　　her　peculiar　taste　in　lacesThe　KneipeHow　to　rub
a　SalamanderAdvice　to　the　strangerA　story　that　might　have　ended
sadlyOf　two　men　and　two　wivesTogether　with　a　bachelor。

On　our　way　home　we　included　a　German　University　town；　being　wishful
to　obtain　an　insight　into　the　ways　of　student　life；　a　curiosity
that　the　courtesy　of　German　friends　enabled　us　to　gratify。

The　English　boy　plays　till　he　is　fifteen；　and　works　thence　till
twenty。　　In　Germany　it　is　the　child　that　works；　the　young　man　that
plays。　　The　German　boy　goes　to　school　at　seven　o'clock　in　the
summer；　at　eight　in　the　winter；　and　at　school　he　studies。　　The
result　is　that　at　sixteen　he　has　a　thorough　knowledge　of　the
classics　and　mathematics；　knows　as　much　history　as　any　man
compelled　to　belong　to　a　political　party　is　wise　in　knowing；
together　with　a　thorough　grounding　in　modern　languages。　　Therefore
his　eight　College　Semesters；　extending　over　four　years；　are；　except
for　the　young　man　aiming　at　a　professorship；　unnecessarily　ample。
He　is　not　a　sportsman；　which　is　a　pity；　for　he　should　make　good
one。　　He　plays　football　a　little；　bicycles　still　less；　plays　French
billiards　in　stuffy　cafes　more。　　But　generally　speaking　he；　or　the
majority　of　him；　lays　out　his　time　bummeling；　beer　drinking；　and
fighting。　　If　he　be　the　son　of　a　wealthy　father　he　joins　a　Korps
to　belong　to　a　crack　Korps　costs　about　four　hundred　pounds　a　year。
If　he　be　a　middle…class　young　man；　he　enrols　himself　in　a
Burschenschaft；　or　a　Landsmannschaft；　which　is　a　little　cheaper。
These　companies　are　again　broken　up　into　smaller　circles；　in　which
attempt　is　made　to　keep　to　nationality。　　There　are　the　Swabians；
from　Swabia；　the　Frankonians；　descendants　of　the　Franks；　the
Thuringians；　and　so　forth。　　In　practice；　of　course；　this　results　as
all　such　attempts　do　resultI　believe　half　our　Gordon　Highlanders
are　Cockneysbut　the　picturesque　object　is　obtained　of　dividing
each　University　into　some　dozen　or　so　separate　companies　of
students；　each　one　with　its　distinctive　cap　and　colours；　and；　quite
as　important；　its　own　particular　beer　hall；　into　which　no　other
student　wearing　his　colours　may　come。

The　chief　work　of　these　student　companies　is　to　fight　among
themselves；　or　with　some　rival　Korps　or　Schaft；　the　celebrated
German　Mensur。

The　Mensur　has　been　described　so　often　and　so　thoroughly　that　I　do
not　intend　to　bore　my　readers　with　any　detailed　account　of　it。　　I
merely　come　forward　as　an　impressionist；　and　I　write　purposely　the
impression　of　my　first　Mensur；　because　I　believe　that　first
impressions　are　more　true　and　useful　than　opinions　blunted　by
intercourse；　or　shaped　by　influence。

A　Frenchman　or　a　Spaniard　will　seek　to　persuade　you　that　the　bull…
ring　is　an　institution　got　up　chiefly　for　the　benefit　of　the　bull。
The　horse　which　you　imagined　to　be　screaming　with　pain　was　only
laughing　at　the　comical　appearance　presented　by　its　own　inside。
Your　French　or　Spanish　friend　contrasts　its　glorious　and　exciting
death　in　the　ring　with　the　cold…blooded　brutality　of　the　knacker's
yard。　　If　you　do　not　keep　a　tight　hold　of　your　head；　you　come　away
with　the　desire　to　start　an　agitation　for　the　inception　of　the
bull…ring　in　England　as　an　aid　to　chivalry。　　No　doubt　Torquemada
was　convinced　of　the　humanity　of　the　Inquisition。　　To　a　stout
gentleman；　suffering；　perhaps；　from　cramp　or　rheumatism；　an　hour　or
so　on　the　rack　was　really　a　physical　benefit。　　He　would　rise
feeling　more　free　in　his　jointsmore　elastic；　as　one　might　say；
than　he　had　felt　for　years。　　English　huntsmen　regard　the　fox　as　an
animal　to　be　envied。　　A　day's　excellent　sport　is　provided　for　him
free　of　charge；　during　which　he　is　the　centre　of　attraction。

Use　blinds　one　to　everything　one　does　not　wish　to　see。　　Every　third
German　gentleman　you　meet　in　the　street　still　bears；　and　will　bear
to　his　grave；　marks　of　the　twenty　to　a　hundred　duels　he　has　fought
in　his　student　days。　　The　German　children　play　at　the　Mensur　in　the
nursery；　rehearse　it　in　the　gymnasium。　　The　Germans　have　come　to
persuade　themselves　there　is　no　brutality　in　itnothing　offensive；
nothing　degrading。　　Their　argument　is　that　it　schools　the　German
youth　to　coolness　and　courage。　　If　this　could　be　proved；　the
argument；　particularly　in　a　country　where　every　man　is　a　soldier；
would　be　sufficiently　one…sided。　　But　is　the　virtue　of　the　prize…
fighter　the　virtue　of　the　soldier？　　One　doubts　it。　　Nerve　and　dash
are　surely　of　more　service　in　the　field　than　a　temperament　of
unreasoning　indifference　as　to　what　is　happening　to　one。　　As　a
matter　of　fact；　the　German　student　would　have　to　be　possessed　of
much　more　courage　not　to　fight。　　He　fights　not　to　please　himself；
but　to　satisfy　a　public　opinion　that　is　two　hundred　years　behind
the　times。

All　the　Mensur　does　is　to　brutalise　him。　　There　may　be　skill
displayedI　am　told　there　is；but　it　is　not　apparent。　　The　mere
fighting　is　like　nothing　so　much　as　a　broadsword　combat　at　a
Richardson's　show；　the　display　as　a　whole　a　successful　attempt　to
combine　the　ludicrous　with　the　unpleasant。　　In　aristocratic　Bonn；
where　style　is　considered；　and　in　Heidelberg；　where　visitors　from
other　nations　are　more　common；　the　affair　is　perhaps　more　formal。
I　am　told　that　there　the　contests　take　place　in　handsome　rooms；
that　grey…haired　doctors　wait　upon　the　wounded；　and　liveried
servants　upon　the　hungry；　and　that　the　affair　is　conducted
throughout　with　a　certain　amount　of　picturesque　ceremony。　　In　the
more　essentially　German　Universities；　where　strangers　are　rare　and
not　much　encouraged；　the　simple　essentials　are　the　only　things　kept
in　view；　and　these　are　not　of　an　inviting　nature。

Indeed；　so　d