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〃Yes; I do; you grandson of a French poodle; you cabbage…eating〃

〃There!  I knew you'd have it over;〃 says the poor milk…woman。  〃I
told him he'd have it over。〃

But he is busy; and heeds her not。  Five minutes later; when the
traffic is renewed; when the bread girl has collected her muddy
rolls; and the policeman has gone off with the name and address of
everybody in the street; he consents to look behind him。

〃It IS a bit of an upset;〃 he admits。  Then shaking himself free of
care; he adds; cheerfully; 〃But I guess I taught him the price of
chalk。  He won't interfere with us again; I'm thinking。〃

〃I'm sure I hope not;〃 says the old lady; regarding dejectedly the
milky road。

But his favourite sport is to wait at the top of the hill for
another dog; and then race down。  On these occasions the chief
occupation of the other fellow is to run about behind; picking up
the scattered articles; loaves; cabbages; or shirts; as they are
jerked out。  At the bottom of the hill; he stops and waits for his
friend。

〃Good race; wasn't it?〃 he remarks; panting; as the Human comes up;
laden to the chin。  〃I believe I'd have won it; too; if it hadn't
been for that fool of a small boy。  He was right in my way just as
I turned the corner。  YOU NOTICED HIM?  Wish I had; beastly brat!
What's he yelling like that for?  BECAUSE I KNOCKED HIM DOWN AND
RAN OVER HIM?  Well; why didn't he get out of the way?  It's
disgraceful; the way people leave their children about for other
people to tumble over。  Halloa! did all those things come out?  You
couldn't have packed them very carefully; you should see to a thing
like that。  YOU DID NOT DREAM OF MY TEARING DOWN THE HILL TWENTY
MILES AN HOUR?  Surely; you knew me better than to expect I'd let
that old Schneider's dog pass me without an effort。  But there; you
never think。  You're sure you've got them all?  YOU BELIEVE SO?  I
shouldn't 'believe' if I were you; I should run back up the hill
again and make sure。  YOU FEEL TOO TIRED?  Oh; all right! don't
blame me if anything is missing; that's all。〃

He is so self…willed。  He is cock…sure that the correct turning is
the second on the right; and nothing will persuade him that it is
the third。  He is positive he can get across the road in time; and
will not be convinced until he sees the cart smashed up。  Then he
is very apologetic; it is true。  But of what use is that?  As he is
usually of the size and strength of a young bull; and his human
companion is generally a weak…kneed old man or woman; or a small
child; he has his way。  The greatest punishment his proprietor can
inflict upon him is to leave him at home; and take the cart out
alone。  But your German is too kind…hearted to do this often。

That he is harnessed to the cart for anybody's pleasure but his own
it is impossible to believe; and I am confident that the German
peasant plans the tiny harness and fashions the little cart purely
with the hope of gratifying his dog。  In other countriesin
Belgium; Holland and FranceI have seen these draught dogs ill…
treated and over…worked; but in Germany; never。  Germans abuse
animals shockingly。  I have seen a German stand in front of his
horse and call it every name he could lay his tongue to。  But the
horse did not mind it。  I have seen a German; weary with abusing
his horse; call to his wife to come out and assist him。  When she
came; he told her what the horse had done。  The recital roused the
woman's temper to almost equal heat with his own; and standing one
each side of the poor beast; they both abused it。  They abused its
dead mother; they insulted its father; they made cutting remarks
about its personal appearance; its intelligence; its moral sense;
its general ability as a horse。  The animal bore the torrent with
exemplary patience for awhile; then it did the best thing possible
to do under the circumstances。  Without losing its own temper; it
moved quietly away。  The lady returned to her washing; and the man
followed it up the street; still abusing it。

A kinder…hearted people than the Germans there is no need for。
Cruelty to animal or child is a thing almost unknown in the land。
The whip with them is a musical instrument; its crack is heard from
morning to night; but an Italian coachman that in the streets of
Dresden I once saw use it was very nearly lynched by the indignant
crowd。  Germany is the only country in Europe where the traveller
can settle himself comfortably in his hired carriage; confident
that his gentle; willing friend between the shafts will be neither
over…worked nor cruelly treated。



CHAPTER XI



Black Forest House:  and the sociability thereinIts perfume
George positively declines to remain in bed after four o'clock in
the morningThe road one cannot missMy peculiar extra instinct
An ungrateful partyHarris as a scientistHis cheery confidence
The village:  where it was; and where it ought to have been
George:  his planWe promenade a la FrancaisThe German coachman
asleep and awakeThe man who spreads the English language abroad。

There was one night when; tired out and far from town or village;
we slept in a Black Forest farmhouse。  The great charm about the
Black Forest house is its sociability。  The cows are in the next
room; the horses are upstairs; the geese and ducks are in the
kitchen; while the pigs; the children; and the chickens live all
over the place。

You are dressing; when you hear a grunt behind you。

〃Good…morning!  Don't happen to have any potato peelings in here?
No; I see you haven't; good…bye。〃

Next there is a cackle; and you see the neck of an old hen
stretched round the corner。

〃Fine morning; isn't it?  You don't mind my bringing this worm of
mine in here; do you?  It is so difficult in this house to find a
room where one can enjoy one's food with any quietness。  From a
chicken I have always been a slow eater; and when a dozenthere; I
thought they wouldn't leave me alone。  Now they'll all want a bit。
You don't mind my getting on the bed; do you?  Perhaps here they
won't notice me。〃

While you are dressing various shock heads peer in at the door;
they evidently regard the room as a temporary menagerie。  You
cannot tell whether the heads belong to boys or girls; you can only
hope they are all male。  It is of no use shutting the door; because
there is nothing to fasten it by; and the moment you are gone they
push it open again。  You breakfast as the Prodigal Son is generally
represented feeding:  a pig or two drop in to keep you company; a
party of elderly geese criticise you from the door; you gather from
their whispers; added to their shocked expression; that they are
talking scandal about you。  Maybe a cow will condescend to give a
glance in。

This Noah's Ark arrangement it is; I suppose; that gives to the
Black Forest home its distinctive scent。  It is not a scent you can
liken to any one thing。  It is as if you took roses and Limburger
cheese and hair oil; some heather and onions; peaches and soapsuds;
together with a dash of sea air and a corpse; and mixed them up
together。  You cannot define any particular odour; but you feel
they are all thereall the odours that the world has yet
discovered。  People who live in these houses are fond of this
mixture。  They do not open the window and lose any of it; they keep
it carefully bottled up。  If you want any other scent; you can go
outside and smell the wood violets and the pines; inside there is
the house; and after a while; I am told; you get used to it; so
that you miss it; and are unable to go to sleep in any other
atmosphere。

We had a long walk before us the next day; and it was our desire;
therefore; to get up early; even so early as six o'clock; if that
could be managed without disturbing the whole household。  We put it
to our hostess whether she thought this could be done。  She said
she thought it could。  She might not be about herself at that time;
it was her morning for going into the town; some eight miles off;
and she rarely got back much before seven; but; possibly; her
husband or one of the boys would be returning home to lunch about
that hour。  Anyhow; somebody should be sent back to wake us and get
our breakfast。

As it turned out; we did not need any waking。  We got up at four;
all by ourselves。  We got up at four in order to get away from the
noise and the din that was making our heads ache。  What time the
Black Forest peasant rises in the summer time I am unable to say;
to us they appeared to be getting up all night。  And the first
thing the Black Forester does when he gets up is to put on a pair
of stout boots with wooden soles; and take a constitutional round
the house。  Until he has been three times up and down the stairs;
he does not feel he is up。  Once fully awake himself; the next
thing he does is to go upstairs to the stables; and wake up a
horse。  (The Black Forest house being built generally on the side
of a steep hill; the ground floor is at the top; and the hay…loft
at the bottom。)  Then the horse; it would seem; must also have its
constitutional round the house; and this seen to; the man goes
downstairs into the kitchen and begins to chop wood; and when he
has chopped suffic

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