three men on the bummel-第19节

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giving　them　from　the　guide　book。　　Who　wants　to　know　how　high　a
steeple　is？　　You　don't　remember　it　the　next　five　minutes　when　you
are　told；　and　if　you　do　it　is　because　you　have　got　nothing　else　in
your　head。　　He　just　tires　me　with　his　talk。　　Why　doesn't　he　hurry
up；　and　let　us　all　get　home　to　lunch？〃

Upon　reflection；　I　am　not　sure　that　wall…eyed　old　brute　had　not
sense　on　its　side。　　Anyhow；　I　know　there　have　been　occasions；　with
a　guide；　when　I　would　have　been　glad　of　its　interference。

But　one　is　apt　to　〃sin　one's　mercies；〃　as　the　Scotch　say；　and　at
the　time　we　cursed　that　horse　instead　of　blessing　it。



CHAPTER　VII



George　wondersGerman　love　of　order〃The　Band　of　the　Schwarzwald
Blackbirds　will　perform　at　seven〃The　china　dogIts　superiority
over　all　other　dogsThe　German　and　the　solar　systemA　tidy
countryThe　mountain　valley　as　it　ought　to　be；　according　to　the
German　ideaHow　the　waters　come　down　in　GermanyThe　scandal　of
DresdenHarris　gives　an　entertainmentIt　is　unappreciatedGeorge
and　the　aunt　of　himGeorge；　a　cushion；　and　three　damsels。

At　a　point　between　Berlin　and　Dresden；　George；　who　had；　for　the
last　quarter　of　an　hour　or　so；　been　looking　very　attentively　out　of
the　window；　said：

〃Why；　in　Germany；　is　it　the　custom　to　put　the　letter…box　up　a　tree？
Why　do　they　not　fix　it　to　the　front　door　as　we　do？　　I　should　hate
having　to　climb　up　a　tree　to　get　my　letters。　　Besides；　it　is　not
fair　to　the　postman。　　In　addition　to　being　most　exhausting；　the
delivery　of　letters　must　to　a　heavy　man；　on　windy　nights；　be
positively　dangerous　work。　　If　they　will　fix　it　to　a　tree；　why　not
fix　it　lower　down；　why　always　among　the　topmost　branches？　　But；
maybe；　I　am　misjudging　the　country；〃　he　continued；　a　new　idea
occurring　to　him。　　〃Possibly　the　Germans；　who　are　in　many　matters
ahead　of　us；　have　perfected　a　pigeon　post。　　Even　so；　I　cannot　help
thinking　they　would　have　been　wiser　to　train　the　birds；　while　they
were　about　it；　to　deliver　the　letters　nearer　the　ground。　　Getting
your　letters　out　of　those　boxes　must　be　tricky　work　even　to　the
average　middle…aged　German。〃

I　followed　his　gaze　out　of　window。　　I　said：

〃Those　are　not　letter…boxes；　they　are　birds'　nests。　　You　must
understand　this　nation。　　The　German　loves　birds；　but　he　likes　tidy
birds。　　A　bird　left　to　himself　builds　his　nest　just　anywhere。　　It
is　not　a　pretty　object；　according　to　the　German　notion　of
prettiness。　　There　is　not　a　bit　of　paint　on　it　anywhere；　not　a
plaster　image　all　round；　not　even　a　flag。　　The　nest　finished；　the
bird　proceeds　to　live　outside　it。　　He　drops　things　on　the　grass；
twigs；　ends　of　worms；　all　sorts　of　things。　　He　is　indelicate。　　He
makes　love；　quarrels　with　his　wife；　and　feeds　the　children　quite　in
public。　　The　German　householder　is　shocked。　　He　says　to　the　bird：

〃'For　many　things　I　like　you。　　I　like　to　look　at　you。　　I　like　to
hear　you　sing。　　But　I　don't　like　your　ways。　　Take　this　little　box；
and　put　your　rubbish　inside　where　I　can't　see　it。　　Come　out　when
you　want　to　sing；　but　let　your　domestic　arrangements　be　confined　to
the　interior。　　Keep　to　the　box；　and　don't　make　the　garden　untidy。'〃

In　Germany　one　breathes　in　love　of　order　with　the　air；　in　Germany
the　babies　beat　time　with　their　rattles；　and　the　German　bird　has
come　to　prefer　the　box；　and　to　regard　with　contempt　the　few
uncivilised　outcasts　who　continue　to　build　their　nests　in　trees　and
hedges。　　In　course　of　time　every　German　bird；　one　is　confident；
will　have　his　proper　place　in　a　full　chorus。　　This　promiscuous　and
desultory　warbling　of　his　must；　one　feels；　be　irritating　to　the
precise　German　mind；　there　is　no　method　in　it。　　The　music…loving
German　will　organise　him。　　Some　stout　bird　with　a　specially　well…
developed　crop　will　be　trained　to　conduct　him；　and；　instead　of
wasting　himself　in　a　wood　at　four　o'clock　in　the　morning；　he　will；
at　the　advertised　time；　sing　in　a　beer　garden；　accompanied　by　a
piano。　　Things　are　drifting　that　way。

Your　German　likes　nature；　but　his　idea　of　nature　is　a　glorified
Welsh　Harp。　　He　takes　great　interest　in　his　garden。　　He　plants
seven　rose　trees　on　the　north　side　and　seven　on　the　south；　and　if
they　do　not　grow　up　all　the　same　size　and　shape　it　worries　him　so
that　he　cannot　sleep　of　nights。　　Every　flower　he　ties　to　a　stick。
This　interferes　with　his　view　of　the　flower；　but　he　has　the
satisfaction　of　knowing　it　is　there；　and　that　it　is　behaving
itself。　　The　lake　is　lined　with　zinc；　and　once　a　week　he　takes　it
up；　carries　it　into　the　kitchen；　and　scours　it。　　In　the　geometrical
centre　of　the　grass　plot；　which　is　sometimes　as　large　as　a
tablecloth　and　is　generally　railed　round；　he　places　a　china　dog。
The　Germans　are　very　fond　of　dogs；　but　as　a　rule　they　prefer　them
of　china。　　The　china　dog　never　digs　holes　in　the　lawn　to　bury
bones；　and　never　scatters　a　flower…bed　to　the　winds　with　his　hind
legs。　　From　the　German　point　of　view；　he　is　the　ideal　dog。　　He
stops　where　you　put　him；　and　he　is　never　where　you　do　not　want　him。
You　can　have　him　perfect　in　all　points；　according　to　the　latest
requirements　of　the　Kennel　Club；　or　you　can　indulge　your　own　fancy
and　have　something　unique。　　You　are　not；　as　with　other　dogs；
limited　to　breed。　　In　china；　you　can　have　a　blue　dog　or　a　pink　dog。
For　a　little　extra；　you　can　have　a　double…headed　dog。

On　a　certain　fixed　date　in　the　autumn　the　German　stakes　his　flowers
and　bushes　to　the　earth；　and　covers　them　with　Chinese　matting；　and
on　a　certain　fixed　date　in　the　spring　he　uncovers　them；　and　stands
them　up　again。　　If　it　happens　to　be　an　exceptionally　fine　autumn；
or　an　exceptionally　late　spring；　so　much　the　worse　for　the
unfortunate　vegetable。　　No　true　German　would　allow　his　arrangements
to　be　interfered　with　by　so　unruly　a　thing　as　the　solar　system。
Unable　to　regulate　the　weather；　he　ignores　it。

Among　trees；　your　German's　favourite　is　the　poplar。　　Other
disorderly　nations　may　sing　the　charms　of　the　rugged　oak；　the
spreading　chestnut；　or　the　waving　elm。　　To　the　German　all　such；
with　their　wilful；　untidy　ways；　are　eyesores。　　The　poplar　grows
where　it　is　planted；　and　how　it　is　planted。　　It　has　no　improper
rugged　ideas　of　its　own。　　It　does　not　want　to　wave　or　to　spread
itself。　　It　just　grows　straight　and　upright　as　a　German　tree　should
grow；　and　so　gradually　the　German　is　rooting　out　all　other　trees；
and　replacing　them　with　poplars。

Your　German　likes　the　country；　but　he　prefers　it　as　the　lady
thought　she　would　the　noble　savagemore　dressed。　　He　likes　his
walk　through　the　woodto　a　restaurant。　　But　the　pathway　must　not
be　too　steep；　it　must　have　a　brick　gutter　running　down　one　side　of
it　to　drain　it；　and　every　twenty　yards　or　so　it　must　have　its　seat
on　which　he　can　rest　and　mop　his　brow；　for　your　German　would　no
more　think　of　sitting　on　the　grass　than　would　an　English　bishop
dream　of　rolling　down　One　Tree　Hill。　　He　likes　his　view　from　the
summit　of　the　hill；　but　he　likes　to　find　there　a　stone　tablet
telling　him　what　to　look　at；　find　a　table　and　bench　at　which　he　can
sit　to　partake　of　the　frugal　beer　and　〃belegte　Semmel〃　he　has　been
careful　to　bring　with　him。　　If；　in　addition；　he　can　find　a　police
notice　posted　on　a　tree；　forbidding　him　to　do　something　or　other；
that　gives　him　an　extra　sense　of　comfort　and　security。

Your　German　is　not　averse　even　to　wild　scenery；　provided　it　be　not
too　wild。　　But　if　he　consider　it　too　savage；　he　sets　to　work　to
tame　it。　　I　remember；　in　the　neighbourhood　of　Dresden；　discovering
a　picturesque　and　narrow　valley　leading　down　towards　the　Elbe。　　The
winding　roadway　ran　beside　a　mountain　torrent；　which　for　a　mile　or
so　fretted　and　foamed　over　rocks　and　boulders　between　wood…covered
banks。　　I　followed　it　enchanted　until；　turning　a　corner；　I　suddenly
came　across　a　gang　of　eighty　or　a　hundred　workmen。　　They　were　busy
tidying　up　that　valley；　and　making　that　stream　respectable。　　All
the　stones　that　were　impeding　the　course　of　the　water　they　were
carefully　picking　out　and　carting　away。　　The　bank　on　either　side
they　were　bricking　up　and　cementing。　　The　overhanging　trees　and
bushes；　the　tangled　vines　and　creepers　they　were　rooting　up　and
trimming　down。　　A　little　further　I　came　upon　the　finished　workthe
mountain　valley　as　it　ought　to　be；　according　to　German　ideas。　　The
water；　now　a　broad；　sluggish　stream；　flowed　over　a　level；　gravelly
bed；　between　two　walls　crowned　with　stone　coping。　　At　every　hundred
yards　it　gently　descended　down　three　shallow　wooden　platforms。　　For
a　space　on　either　side　the　ground　had　been　cleared；　and　at　regular
intervals　young　poplars　planted。　　Each　sapling　was　protected　by　a
shield　of　wickerwork　and　bossed　by　an　iron　rod。　　In　the　course　of　a
couple　of　years　it　is　the　hope　of　the　local　council　to　have
〃finished〃　that　valley　throughout　its　entire　length；　and　made　it
fit　for　a　tidy…minded　lover　of　German　nature　to　walk　in。　　There
will　be　a　seat　every　fifty　yards；　a　police　notice　every　hundred；
and　a　restaurant　every　half…mile。

They　are　doing　the　same　from　the　Memel　to　the　Rhine。　　They　are　just
tidying　up　the　country。　　I　remember　well　the　Wehrthal。　　It　was　once
the　most　romantic　ravine　to　be　found　in　the　Black　Forest。　　The　last
time　I　walked　down　it　some　hundreds　of　It