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〃I'se gwine ter tell yer; sar; yes; sar。  I'd been to Massa
Jordan's wid a sack of melons。  Yes; sar; an' Massa Jordan he wuz
very 'greeable; an' axed me for ter come in。〃

〃Yes; sar; very 'greeable man is Massa Jordan。  An' dar we sat a
talking an' a talking〃

〃Very likely。  What we want to know is what you were doing in the
Deacon's poultry…yard?〃

〃Yes; sar; dat's what I'se cumming to。  It wuz ver' late 'fore I
left Massa Jordan's; an' den I sez ter mysel'; sez I; now yer jest
step out with yer best leg foremost; Ulysses; case yer gets into
trouble wid de ole woman。  Ver' talkative woman she is; sar; very


〃Yes; never mind her; there are other people very talkative in this
town besides your wife。  Deacon Abraham's house is half a mile out
of your way home from Mr。 Jordan's。  How did you get there?〃

〃Dat's what I'm a…gwine ter explain; sar。〃

〃I am glad of that。  And how do you propose to do it?〃

〃Well; I'se thinkin'; sar; I must ha' digressed。〃

I take it we digressed a little。

At first; from some reason or other; Hanover strikes you as an
uninteresting town; but it grows upon you。  It is in reality two
towns; a place of broad; modern; handsome streets and tasteful
gardens; side by side with a sixteenth…century town; where old
timbered houses overhang the narrow lanes; where through low
archways one catches glimpses of galleried courtyards; once often
thronged; no doubt; with troops of horse; or blocked with lumbering
coach and six; waiting its rich merchant owner; and his fat placid
Frau; but where now children and chickens scuttle at their will;
while over the carved balconies hang dingy clothes a…drying。

A singularly English atmosphere hovers over Hanover; especially on
Sundays; when its shuttered shops and clanging bells give to it the
suggestion of a sunnier London。  Nor was this British Sunday
atmosphere apparent only to myself; else I might have attributed it
to imagination; even George felt it。  Harris and I; returning from
a short stroll with our cigars after lunch on the Sunday afternoon;
found him peacefully slumbering in the smoke…room's easiest chair。

〃After all;〃 said Harris; 〃there is something about the British
Sunday that appeals to the man with English blood in his veins。  I
should be sorry to see it altogether done away with; let the new
generation say what it will。〃

And taking one each end of the ample settee; we kept George
company。

To Hanover one should go; they say; to learn the best German。  The
disadvantage is that outside Hanover; which is only a small
province; nobody understands this best German。  Thus you have to
decide whether to speak good German and remain in Hanover; or bad
German and travel about。  Germany being separated so many centuries
into a dozen principalities; is unfortunate in possessing a variety
of dialects。  Germans from Posen wishful to converse with men of
Wurtemburg; have to talk as often as not in French or English; and
young ladies who have received an expensive education in Westphalia
surprise and disappoint their parents by being unable to understand
a word said to them in Mechlenberg。  An English…speaking foreigner;
it is true; would find himself equally nonplussed among the
Yorkshire wolds; or in the purlieus of Whitechapel; but the cases
are not on all fours。  Throughout Germany it is not only in the
country districts and among the uneducated that dialects are
maintained。  Every province has practically its own language; of
which it is proud and retentive。  An educated Bavarian will admit
to you that; academically speaking; the North German is more
correct; but he will continue to speak South German and to teach it
to his children。

In the course of the century; I am inclined to think that Germany
will solve her difficulty in this respect by speaking English。
Every boy and girl in Germany; above the peasant class; speaks
English。  Were English pronunciation less arbitrary; there is not
the slightest doubt but that in the course of a very few years;
comparatively speaking; it would become the language of the world。
All foreigners agree that; grammatically; it is the easiest
language of any to learn。  A German; comparing it with his own
language; where every word in every sentence is governed by at
least four distinct and separate rules; tells you that English has
no grammar。  A good many English people would seem to have come to
the same conclusion; but they are wrong。  As a matter of fact;
there is an English grammar; and one of these days our schools will
recognise the fact; and it will be taught to our children;
penetrating maybe even into literary and journalistic circles。  But
at present we appear to agree with the foreigner that it is a
quantity neglectable。  English pronunciation is the stumbling…block
to our progress。  English spelling would seem to have been designed
chiefly as a disguise to pronunciation。  It is a clever idea;
calculated to check presumption on the part of the foreigner; but
for that he would learn it in a year。

For they have a way of teaching languages in Germany that is not
our way; and the consequence is that when the German youth or
maiden leaves the gymnasium or high school at fifteen; 〃it〃 (as in
Germany one conveniently may say) can understand and speak the
tongue it has been learning。  In England we have a method that for
obtaining the least possible result at the greatest possible
expenditure of time and money is perhaps unequalled。  An English
boy who has been through a good middle…class school in England can
talk to a Frenchman; slowly and with difficulty; about female
gardeners and aunts; conversation which; to a man possessed perhaps
of neither; is liable to pall。  Possibly; if he be a bright
exception; he may be able to tell the time; or make a few guarded
observations concerning the weather。  No doubt he could repeat a
goodly number of irregular verbs by heart; only; as a matter of
fact; few foreigners care to listen to their own irregular verbs;
recited by young Englishmen。  Likewise he might be able to remember
a choice selection of grotesquely involved French idioms; such as
no modern Frenchman has ever heard or understands when he does
hear。

The explanation is that; in nine cases out of ten; he has learnt
French from an 〃Ahn's First…Course。〃  The history of this famous
work is remarkable and instructive。  The book was originally
written for a joke; by a witty Frenchman who had resided for some
years in England。  He intended it as a satire upon the
conversational powers of British society。  From this point of view
it was distinctly good。  He submitted it to a London publishing
firm。  The manager was a shrewd man。  He read the book through。
Then he sent for the author。

〃This book of yours;〃 said he to the author; 〃is very clever。  I
have laughed over it myself till the tears came。〃

〃I am delighted to hear you say so;〃 replied the pleased Frenchman。
〃I tried to be truthful without being unnecessarily offensive。〃

〃It is most amusing;〃 concurred the manager; 〃and yet published as
a harmless joke; I feel it would fail。〃

The author's face fell。

〃Its humour;〃 proceeded the manager; 〃would be denounced as forced
and extravagant。  It would amuse the thoughtful and intelligent;
but from a business point of view that portion of the public are
never worth considering。  But I have an idea;〃 continued the
manager。  He glanced round the room to be sure they were alone;
and leaning forward sunk his voice to a whisper。  〃My notion is to
publish it as a serious work for the use of schools!〃

The author stared; speechless。

〃I know the English schoolman;〃 said the manager; 〃this book will
appeal to him。  It will exactly fit in with his method。  Nothing
sillier; nothing more useless for the purpose will he ever
discover。  He will smack his lips over the book; as a puppy licks
up blacking。〃

The author; sacrificing art to greed; consented。  They altered the
title and added a vocabulary; but left the book otherwise as it
was。

The result is known to every schoolboy。  〃Ahn〃 became the palladium
of English philological education。  If it no longer retains its
ubiquity; it is because something even less adaptable to the object
in view has been since invented。

Lest; in spite of all; the British schoolboy should obtain; even
from the like of 〃Ahn;〃 some glimmering of French; the British
educational method further handicaps him by bestowing upon him the
assistance of; what is termed in the prospectus; 〃A native
gentleman。〃  This native French gentleman; who; by…the…by; is
generally a Belgian; is no doubt a most worthy person; and can; it
is true; understand and speak his own language with tolerable
fluency。  There his qualifications cease。  Invariably he is a man
with a quite remarkable inability to teach anybody anything。
Indeed; he would seem to be chosen not so much as an instructor as
an amuser of youth。  He is always a comic figure。  No Frenchman of
a dignified appearance would be engaged for any English school。  If
he possess by nature a few harmless peculiarities; calculated to
cause merriment; so much the more is he esteemed by his employers。
The class naturally re

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