donal grant-第79节
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straight along the green; moon…regarded rather than moon…lit grass:
if any one had seen them through the pale starry night; he would
surely have taken them for a procession of the dead themselves!
No dream of death sought Arctura that night; but in the morning she
woke suddenly from one of disembodied delight。
CHAPTER LX。
A LESSON ABOUT DEATH。
WHATEVER lady Arctura might decide concerning the restoration of the
chapel to the light of day; Donal thought it would not be amiss to
find; without troubling her; what he could of its relation to the
rest of the house: and it favoured his wish that Arctura was
prevailed upon by the housekeeper to remain in bed the next day。 Her
strong will; good courage; and trusting heart; had made severe
demands upon an organization as delicate as responsive。 It was now
Saturday: he resolved to go alone in the afternoon to exploreand
first of all would try the door beside the little gallery。
As soon as he was free; he got the tools he judged necessary; and
went down。
The door was of strong sound oak; with ornate iron hinges right
across it。 He was on the better side for opening it; that is; the
inside; but though the ends of the hinges were exposed; the door was
so well within the frame that it was useless to think of heaving
them off the bearing…pins。 The huge lock and its bolt were likewise
before him; but the key was in the lock from the other side; so that
it could not be picked; while the nails that fastened it to the door
were probably riveted through a plate。 But there was the socket into
which the bolt shot! that was merely an iron staple! he might either
force it out with a lever; or file it through! Having removed the
roughest of the rust with which it was caked; and so reduced its
thickness considerably; he set himself to the task of filing it
through; first at the top then at the bottom。 It was a slow but a
sure process; and would make no great noise。
Although it was broad daylight outside; so like midnight was it here
and the season that belongs to the dead; that he was haunted with
the idea of a presence behind him。 But not once did he turn his head
to see; for he knew that if he yielded to the inclination; it would
but return the stronger。 Old experience had taught him that the way
to meet the horrors of the fancy is to refuse them a single
hair's…breadth of obedience。 And as he worked the conviction grew
that the only protection against the terrors of alien presence is
the consciousness of the home presence of the eternal: if a man felt
that presence; how could he fear any other? But for those who are
not one with the source of being; every manifestation of that being
in a life other than their own; must be more or less a terror to
them; it is alien; antipathous; other;it may be unappeasable;
implacable。 The time must even come when to such their own being
will be a horror of repugnant consciousness; for God not self is
ourshis being; not our own; is our home; he is our kind。
The work was slowthe impression on the hard iron of the worn file
so weak that he was often on the point of giving up the attempt。
Fatigue at length began to invade him; and therewith the sense of
his situation grew more keen: great weariness overcomes terror; the
beginnings of weariness enhance it。 Every now and then he would
stop; thinking he heard the cry of a child; only to recognize it as
the noise of his file。 He resolved at last to stop for the night;
and after tea go to the town to buy a new and fitter file。
The next day was Sunday; and in the afternoon Donal and Davie were
walking in the old avenue together。 They had been to church; and had
heard a dull sermon on the most stirring fact next to the
resurrection of the Lord himselfhis raising of Lazarus。 The whole
aspect of the thing; as presented by the preaching man; was so dull
and unreal; that not a word on the subject had passed between them
on the way home。
〃Mr。 Grant; how could anybody make a dead man live again?〃 said
Davie suddenly。
〃I don't know; Davie;〃 answered Donal。 〃If I could know how; I
should probably be able to do it myself。〃
〃It is very hard to believe。〃
〃Yes; very hardthat is; if you do not know anything about the
person said to have done it; to account for his being able to do it
though another could not。 But just think of this: if one had never
seen or heard about death; it would be as hard; perhaps harder; to
believe that anything could bring about that change。 The one seems
to us easy to understand; because we are familiar with it; if we had
seen the other take place a few times; we should see in it nothing
too strange; nothing indeed but what was to be expected in certain
circumstances。〃
〃But that is not enough to prove it ever did take place。〃
〃Assuredly not。 It cannot even make it look in the least probable。〃
〃Tell me; please; anything that would make it look probable。〃
〃I will not answer your question directly; but I will answer it。
Listen; Davie。
〃In all ages men have longed to see Godsome men in a grand way。 At
last; according to the story of the gospel; the time came when it
was fit that the Father of men should show himself to them in his
son; the one perfect man; who was his very image。 So Jesus came to
them。 But many would not believe he was the son of God; for they
knew God so little that they did not see how like he was to his
Father。 Others; who were more like God themselves; and so knew God
better; did think him the son of God; though they were not pleased
that he did not make more show。 His object was; not to rule over
them; but to make them know; and trust; and obey his Father; who was
everything to him。 Now when anyone died; his friends were so
miserable over him that they hardly thought about God; and took no
comfort from him。 They said the dead man would rise again at the
last day; but that was so far off; the dead was gone to such a
distance; that they did not care for that。 Jesus wanted to make them
know and feel that the dead were alive all the time; and could not
be far away; seeing they were all with God in whom we live; that
they had not lost them though they could not see them; for they were
quite within his reachas much so as ever; that they were just as
safe with; and as well looked after by his father and their father;
as they had ever been in all their lives。 It was no doubt a
dreadful…looking thing to have them put in a hole; and waste away to
dust; but they were not therefore gone outthey were only gone in!
To teach them all this he did not say much; but just called one or
two of them back for a while。 Of course Lazarus was going to die
again; but can you think his two sisters either loved him less; or
wept as much over him the next time he died?〃
〃No; it would have been foolish。〃
〃Well; if you think about it; you will see that no one who believes
that story; and weeps as they did the first time; can escape
reproof。 Where Jesus called Lazarus from; there are his friends; and
there are they waiting for him! Now; I ask you; Davie; was it worth
while for Jesus to do this for us? Is not the great misery of our
life; that those dear to us die? Was it; I say; a thing worth doing;
to let us see that they are alive with God all the time; and can be
produced any moment he pleases?〃
〃Surely it was; sir! It ought to take away all the misery!〃
〃Then it was a natural thing to do; and it is a reasonable thing to
think that it was done。 It was natural that God should want to let
his children see him; and natural he should let them know that he
still saw and cared for those they had lost sight of。 The whole
thing seems to me reasonable; I can believe it。 It implies indeed a
world of things of which we know nothing; but that is for; not
against it; seeing such a world we need; and if anyone insists on
believing nothing but what he has seen something like; I leave him
to his misery and the mercy of God。〃
If the world had been so made that men could easily believe in the
maker of it; it would not have been a world worth any man's living
in; neither would the God that made such a world; and so revealed
himself to such people; be worth believing in。 God alone knows what
life is enough for us to livewhat life is worth his and our while;
we may be sure he is labouring to make it ours。 He would have it as
full; as lovely; as grand; as the sparing of nothing; not even his
own son; can render it。 If we would only let him have his own way
with us! If we do not trust him; will not work with him; are always
thwarting his endeavours to make us alive; then we must be
miserable; there is no help for it。 As to death; we know next to
nothing about it。 〃Do we not!〃 say the faithless。 〃Do we not know
the darkness; the emptiness; the tears; the sinkings of heart; the
desolation!〃 Yes; you know those; but those are your things; not
death's。 About death you know nothing。 God has told us only that the
dead are alive to him; and that one day they will be alive again to
us。 The world beyond the gates of death is; I suspect; a far more
homelike place to those that enter it; than this world is to us。
〃I don't like death;〃 said Davie; after a silence。
〃I don't wa