donal grant-第50节

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down　the　stair。　About　the　middle　of　it；　she　stopped　at　a　door；　and
turning　said；　with　a　smile　like　that　of　a　child；　and　the　first
untroubled　look　Donal　had　yet　seen　upon　her　face

〃How　delightful　it　is　to　be　taken　out　of　fear！　I　am　not　the　least
afraid　now！〃

〃I　am　very　glad；〃　said　Donal。　〃I　should　like　to　kill　fear；　it　is　the
shadow　that　follows　at　the　heels　of　wrong。Do　you　think　the　music
has　anything　to　do　with　your　uncle's　condition？〃

〃I　do　not　know。〃

She　turned　again　hastily；　and　passing　through　the　door；　entered　a
part　of　the　house　with　which　Donal　had　no　acquaintance。　With　many
bewildering　turns；　she　led　him　to　the　great　staircase；　down　which
she　continued　her　course。　The　house　was　very　still：　it　must　surely
be　later　than　he　had　thoughtonly　there　were　so　few　servants　in　it
for　its　extent！　His　guide　went　very　fast；　with　a　step　light　as　a
bird's：　at　one　moment　he　had　all　but　lost　sight　of　her　in　the　great
curve。　At　the　room　in　which　Donal　first　saw　the　earl；　she　stopped。

The　door　was　open；　but　there　was　no　light　within。　She　led　him　across
to　the　door　of　the　little　chamber　behind。　A　murmur；　but　no　light；
came　from　it。　In　a　moment　it　was　gone；　and　the　deepest　silence
filled　the　world。　Arctura　entered。　One　step　within　the　door　she
stood　still；　and　held　high　her　taper。　Donal　looked　in　sideways。

A　small　box　was　on　the　floor　against　the　foot　of　the　farthest　wall；
and　on　the　box；　in　a　long　dressing　gown　of　rich　faded　stuff；　the
silk　and　gold　in　which　shone　feebly　in　the　dim　light；　stood　the　tall
meagre　form　of　the　earl；　with　his　back　to　the　door；　his　face　to　the
wall；　close　to　it；　and　his　arms　and　hands　stretched　out　against　it；
like　one　upon　a　cross。　He　stood　without　moving　a　muscle　or　uttering
a　sound。　What　could　it　mean？　Donal　gazed　in　a　blank　dismay。

Not　a　minute　had　passed；　though　it　was　to　him　a　long　and　painful
time；　when　the　murmuring　came　again。　He　listened　as　to　a　voice　from
another　worlda　thing　terrible　to　those　whose　fear　dwells　in
another　world。　But　to　Donal　it　was　terrible　as　a　voice　from　no　other
world　could　have　been；　it　came　from　an　unseen　world　of　sin　and
sufferinga　world　almost　a　negation　of　the　eternal；　a　world　of
darkness　and　the　shadow　of　death。　But　surely　there　was　hope　for　that
world　yet！for　whose　were　the　words　in　which　its　indwelling　despair
grew　audible？

〃And　we　indeed　justly；　for　we　receive　the　due　reward　of　our　deeds；
but　this　man　hath　done　nothing　amiss！〃

Again　the　silence　fell；　but　the　form　did　not　move；　and　still　they
stood　regarding　him。

》From　far　away　came　the　sound　of　the　ghost…music。　The　head　against
the　wall　began　to　move　as　if　waking　from　sleep。　The　hands　sank　along
the　wall　and　fell　by　the　sides。　The　earl　gave　a　deep　sigh；　but　still
stood　leaning　his　forehead　against　the　wall。

Arctura　turned；　and　they　left　the　room。

She　went　down　the　stair；　and　on　to　the　library。　Its　dark　oak　cases
and　old　bindings　reflected　hardly　a　ray　of　the　poor　taper　she
carried；　but　the　fire　was　not　yet　quite　out。　She　set　down　the　light；
and　looked　at　Donal　in　silence。

〃What　does　it　all　mean？〃　he　asked　in　a　hoarse　whisper。

〃God　knows！〃　she　returned　solemnly。

〃Are　we　safe？〃　he　asked。　〃May　he　not　come　here？〃

〃I　do　not　think　he　will。　I　have　seen　him　in　many　parts　of　the　house；
but　never　here。〃

Even　as　she　spoke　the　door　swung　noiselessly　open；　and　the　earl
entered。　His　face　was　ghastly　pale；　his　eyes　were　wide　open；　he　came
straight　towards　them。　But　he　did　not　see　them；　or　if　he　did；　he　saw
them　but　as　phantoms　of　the　dream　in　which　he　was　walkingphantoms
which　had　not　yet　become　active　in　the　dream。　He　drew　a　chair　to　the
embers；　in　his　fancy　doubtless　a　great　fire；　sat　for　a　moment　or　two
gazing　into　them；　rose；　went　the　whole　length　of　the　room；　took　down
a　book；　returned　with　it　to　the　fire；　drew　towards　him　Arctura's
tiny　taper；　opened　the　book；　and　began　to　read　in　an　audible　murmur。
Donal；　trying　afterwards　to　recall　and　set　down　what　he　had　heard；
wrote　nothing　better　than　this：

In　the　heart　of　the　earth…cave
Lay　the　king。
Through　chancel　and　choir　and　nave
The　bells　ring。

Said　the　worm　at　his　side；
Sweet　fool；
Turn　to　thy　bride；
Is　the　night　so　cool？
Wouldst　thou　lie　like　a　stone　till　the　aching　morn
Out　of　the　dark　be　born？

Heavily　pressed　the　night　enorm；
But　he　heard　the　voice　of　the　worm；
Like　the　sound　of　a　muttered　thunder　low；
In　the　realms　where　no　feet　go。

And　he　said；　I　will　rise；
I　will　will　myself　glad；
I　will　open　my　eyes；
And　no　more　sleep　sad。

For　who　is　a　god
But　the　man　who　can　spring
Up　from　the　sod；
And　be　his　own　king？

I　will　model　my　gladness；
Dig　my　despair
And　let　goodness　or　badness
Be　folly's　own　care！

I　will　he　content；
And　the　world　shall　spin　round
Till　its　force　be　outspent。
It　shall　drop
Like　a　top
Spun　by　a　boy；
While　I　sit　in　my　tent；
In　a　featureless　joy
Sit　without　sound；
And　toss　up　my　world；
Till　it　burst　and　be　drowned
In　the　blackness　upcurled
》From　the　deep　hell…ground。

The　dreams　of　a　god
Are　the　worlds　of　his　slaves：
I　will　be　my　own　god；
And　rule　my　own　knaves！

He　went　on　in　this　way　for　some　minutes；　then　the　rimes　grew　less
perfect；　and　the　utterance　sank　into　measured　prose。　The　tone　of　the
speaker　showed　that　he　took　the　stuff　for　glowing　verse；　and
regarded　it　as　embodying　his　own　present　consciousness。　One　might
have　thought　the　worm　would　have　a　word　to　say　in　rejoinder；　but　no；
the　worm　had　vanished；　and　the　buried　dreamer　had　made　himself　a
godhis　own　god！　Donal　stole　up　softly　behind　him；　and　peeped　at
the　open　book：　it　was　the　Novum　Organum！

They　glided　out　of　the　room；　and　left　the　dreamer　to　his　dreams。

〃Do　you　think；〃　said　Donal；　〃I　ought　to　tell　Simmons？〃

〃It　would　be　better。　Do　you　know　where　to　find　him？〃

〃I　do　not。〃

〃I　will　show　you　a　bell　that　rings　in　his　room。　He　will　think　his
lordship　has　rung　it。〃

They　went　and　rang　the　bell。　In　a　minute　or　two　they　heard　the　steps
of　the　faithful　servant　seeking　his　master；　and　bade　each　other
good…night。




CHAPTER　XL。

A　RELIGION…LESSON。

In　the　morning　Donal　learned　from　Simmons　that　his　master　was　very
illcould　not　raise　his　head。

〃The　way　he　do　moan　and　cry！〃　said　Simmons。　〃You　would　think　sure　he
was　either　out　of　his　mind；　or　had　something　heavy　upon　it！　All　the
years　I　known　him；　he　been　like　that　every　now　an'　then；　and　back　to
his　old　self　again；　little　the　worse！　Only　the　fits　do　come
oftener。〃

Towards　the　close　of　school；　as　Donal　was　beginning　to　give　his
lesson　in　religion；　lady　Arctura　entered；　and　sat　down　beside　Davie。

〃What　would　you　think　of　me；　Davie；〃　Donal　was　saying；　〃if　I　were
angry　with　you　because　you　did　not　know　something　I　had　never　taught
you？〃

Davie　only　laughed。　It　was　to　him　a　grotesque；　an　impossible
supposition。

〃If；〃　Donal　resumed；　〃I　were　to　show　you　a　proposition　of　Euclid
which　you　had　never　seen　before；　and　say　to　you；　'Now；　Davie；　this
is　one　of　the　most　beautiful　of　all　Euclid's　propositions；　and　you
must　immediately　admire　it；　and　admire　Euclid　for　constructing
it！'what　would　you　say？〃

Davie　thought；　and　looked　puzzled。

〃But　you　wouldn't　do　it；　sir！〃　he　said。　〃I　know　you　wouldn't　do
it！〃　he　added；　after　a　moment。

〃Why　should　I　not？〃

〃It　isn't　your　way；　sir。〃

〃But　suppose　I　were　to　take　that　way？〃

〃You　would　not　then　be　like　yourself；　sir！〃

〃Tell　me　how　I　should　be　unlike　myself。　Think。〃

〃You　would　not　be　reasonable。〃

〃What　would　you　say　to　me？〃

〃I　should　say；　'Please；　sir；　let　me　learn　the　proposition　first；　and
then　I　shall　be　able　to　admire　it。　I　don't　know　it　yet！'〃

〃Very　good！Now　again；　suppose；　when　you　tried　to　learn　it；　you
were　not　able　to　do　so；　and　therefore　could　see　no　beauty　in
itshould　I　blame　you？〃

〃No；　sir；　I　am　sure　you　would　notbecause　I　should　not　be　to　blame；
and　it　would　not　be　fair；　and　you　never　do　what　is　not　fair！〃

〃I　am　glad　you　think　so：　I　try　to　be　fair。That　looks　as　if　you
believed　in　me；　Davie！〃

〃Of　course　I　do；　sir！〃

〃Why？〃

〃Just　because　you　are　fair。〃

〃Suppose；　Davie；　I　said　to　you；　'Here　is　a　very　beautiful　thing　I
should　like　you　to　learn；'　and　you；　after　you　had　partly　learned　it；
were　to　say　'I　don't　see　anything　beautiful　in　this：　I　am　afraid　I
never　shall！'would　that　be　to　believe　in　me？〃

〃No；　surely；　sir！　for　you　know　best　what　I　am　able　for。〃

〃Suppose　you　said；　'I　daresay　it　is　all　as　good　as　you　say；　but　I
don't　care　to　take　so　much　trouble　about　it；'what　would　that　be？〃

〃Not　to　believe　in　you；　sir。　You　would　not　want　me　to　learn　a　thing
that　was　not　worth　my　trouble；　or　a　thing　I　should　not　be　glad　of
knowing　when　I　did　know　it。〃

〃Suppose　you　said；　'Sir；　I　don't　doubt　what　you　say；　but　I　am　so
tired；　I　don't　mean　to　do　anything　more　you　tell　me；'would　you
then　be　believing　in　me？〃

〃No。　That　might　be　to　believe　your　word；　but　it　would　not　be　to
trust　you。　It　would　be　to　think　my　thinks　better　than　your　thinks；
and　that　would　be　no　faith　at　all。〃

Davie　had　at　times　an　oddly　childish　way　of　putting　things。

〃Suppose　you　were　to　say　nothing；　but　go　away　and　do　nothing　of　what
I　told　youwhat　would　that　be？〃

〃Worse　and　worse；　it　would