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church；　she　respected　her　own　family：　it　had　in　truth　no　other　claim
to　respect　than　that　its　little　good　and　much　evil　had　been　done
before　the　eyes　of　a　large　part　of　many　generationswhence　she　was
born　to　think　herself　distinguished；　and　to　imagine　a　claim　for　the
acknowledgment　of　distinction　upon　all　except　those　of　greatly
higher　rank　than　her　own。　　This　inborn　arrogance　was　in　some　degree
modified　by　respect　for　the　writers　of　certain　booksnot　one　of
whom　was　of　any　regard　in　the　eyes　of　the　thinkers　of　the　age。　　Of
any　writers　of　power；　beyond　those　of　the　Bible；　either　in　this
country　or　another；　she　knew　nothing。　　Yet　she　had　a　real　instinct
for　what　was　good　in　literature；　and　of　the　writers　to　whom　I　have
referred　she　not　only　liked　the　worthiest　best；　but　liked　best　their
best　things。　　I　need　hardly　say　they　were　all　religious　writers；　for
the　keen　conscience　and　obedient　heart　of　the　girl　had　made　her　very
early　turn　herself　towards　the　quarter　where　the　sun　ought　to　rise；
the　quarter　where　all　night　long　gleams　the　auroral　hope；　but
unhappily　she　had　not　gone　direct　to　the　heavenly　well　in　earthly
groundthe　words　of　the　Master　himself。　　How　could　she？　　From　very
childhood　her　mind　had　been　filled　with　traditionary　utterances
concerning　the　divine　character　and　the　divine　plansthe　merest
inventions　of　men　far　more　desirous　of　understanding　what　they　were
not　required　to　understand；　than　of　doing　what　they　were　required　to
dowhence　their　crude　and　false　utterances　concerning　a　God　of
their　own　fancyin　whom　it　was　a　good　man's　duty；　in　the　name　of
any　possible　God；　to　disbelieve；　and　just　because　she　was　true；
authority　had　immense　power　over　her。　　The　very　sweetness　of　their
nature　forbids　such　to　doubt　the　fitness　of　others。

She　had　besides　had　a　governess　of　the　orthodox　type；　a　large
proportion　of　whose　teaching　was　of　the　worst　heresy；　for　it　was
lies　against　him　who　is　light；　and　in　whom　is　no　darkness　at　all；
her　doctrines　were　so　many　smoked　glasses　held　up　between　the　mind
of　her　pupil　and　the　glory　of　the　living　God；　nor　had　she　once
directed　her　gaze　to　the　very　likeness　of　God；　the　face　of　Jesus
Christ。　　Had　Arctura　set　herself　to　understand　him　the　knowledge　of
whom　is　eternal　life；　she　would　have　believed　none　of　these　false
reports　of　him；　but　she　had　not　yet　met　with　any　one　to　help　her　to
cast　aside　the　doctrines　of　men；　and　go　face　to　face　with　the　Son　of
Man；　the　visible　God。　First　lie　of　all；　she　had　been　taught　that　she
must　believe　so　and　so　before　God　would　let　her　come　near　him　or
listen　to　her。　　The　old　cobbler　could　have　taught　her　differently；
but　she　would　have　thought　it　improper　to　hold　conversation　with
such　a　man；　even　if　she　had　known　him　for　the　best　man　in　Auchars。
She　was　in　sore　and　sad　earnest　to　believe　as　she　was　told　she　must
believe；　therefore　instead　of　beginning　to　do　what　Jesus　Christ
said；　she　tried　hard　to　imagine　herself　one　of　the　chosen；　tried
hard　to　believe　herself　the　chief　of　sinners。　　There　was　no　one　to
tell　her　that　it　is　only　the　man　who　sees　something　of　the　glory　of
God；　the　height　and　depth　and　breadth　and　length　of　his　love　and
unselfishness；　not　a　child　dabbling　in　stupid　doctrines；　that　can
feel　like　St。　Paul。　She　tried　to　feel　that　she　deserved　to　be　burned
in　hell　for　ever　and　ever；　and　that　it　was　boundlessly　good　of
Godwho　made　her　so　that　she　could　not　help　being　a　sinnerto　give
her　the　least　chance　of　escaping　it。　　She　tried　to　feel　that；　though
she　could　not　be　saved　without　something　which　the　God　of　perfect
love　could　give　her　if　he　pleased；　but　might　not　please　to　give　her；
yet　if　she　was　not　saved　it　would　be　all　her　own　fault：　and　so　ever
the　round　of　a　great　miserable　treadmill　of　contradictions！　　For　a
moment　she　would　be　able　to　say　this　or　that　she　thought　she　ought
to　say；　the　next　the　feeling　would　be　gone；　and　she　as　miserable　as
before。　　Her　friend　made　no　attempt　to　imbue　her　with　her　own　calm
indifference；　nor　could　she　have　succeeded　had　she　attempted　it。
But　though　she　had　never　been　troubled　herself；　and　that　because
she　had　never　been　in　earnest；　she　did　not　find　it　the　less　easy　to
take　upon　her　the　r鬺e　of　a　spiritual　adviser；　and　gave　no　end　of
counsel　for　the　attainment　of　assurance。　　She　told　her　truly　enough
that　all　her　trouble　came　of　want　of　faith；　but　she　showed　her　no
one　fit　to　believe　in。




CHAPTER　XVIII。

A　CLASH。

All　this　time；　Donal　had　never　again　seen　the　earl；　neither　had　the
latter　shown　any　interest　in　Davie's　progress。　　But　lady　Arctura　was
full　of　serious　anxiety　concerning　him。　　Heavily　prejudiced　against
the　tutor；　she　dreaded　his　influence　on　the　mind　of　her　little
cousin。

There　was　a　small　recess　in　the　schoolroomit　had　been　a　bay
window；　but　from　an　architectural　necessity　arising　from　decay；　it
had；　all　except　a　narrow　eastern　light；　been　built　upand　in　this
recess　Donal　was　one　day　sitting　with　a　book；　while　Davie　was　busy
writing　at　the　table　in　the　middle　of　the　room：　it　was　past
school…hours；　but　the　weather　did　not　invite　them　out　of　doors；　and
Donal　had　given　Davie　a　poem　to　copy。　　Lady　Arctura　came　into　the
roomshe　had　never　entered　it　before　since　Donal　cameand　thinking
he　was　alone；　began　to　talk　to　the　boy。　　She　spoke　in　so　gentle　a
tone　that　Donal；　busy　with　his　book；　did　not　for　some　time
distinguish　a　word　she　said。　　He　never　suspected　she　was　unaware　of
his　presence。　　By　degrees　her　voice　grew　a　little　louder；　and　by　and
by　these　words　reached　him：

〃You　know；　Davie　dear；　every　sin；　whatever　it　is；　deserves　God's
wrath　and　curse；　both　in　this　life　and　that　which　is　to　come；　and　if
it　had　not　been　that　Jesus　Christ　gave　himself　to　turn　away　his
anger　and　satisfy　his　justice　by　bearing　the　punishment　for　us；　God
would　send　us　all　to　the　place　of　misery　for　ever　and　ever。　　It　is
for　his　sake；　not　for　ours；　that　he　pardons　us。〃

She　had　not　yet　ceased　when　Donal　rose　in　the　wrath　of　love；　and
came　out　into　the　room。

〃Lady　Arctura；〃　he　said；　〃I　dare　not　sit　still　and　hear　such　false
things　uttered　against　the　blessed　God！〃

Lady　Arctura　started　in　dire　dismay；　but　in　virtue　of　her　breed　and
her　pride　recovered　herself　immediately；　drew　herself　up；　and　said

〃Mr。　Grant；　you　forget　yourself！〃

〃I'm　very　willing　to　do　that；　my　lady；〃　answered　Donal；　〃but　I　must
not　forget　the　honour　of　my　God。　If　you　were　a　heathen　woman　I　might
think　whether　the　hour　was　come　for　enlightening　you　further；　but　to
hear　one　who　has　had　the　Bible　in　her　hands　from　her　childhood　say
such　things　about　the　God　who　made　her　and　sent　his　Son　to　save　her；
without　answering　a　word　for　him；　would　be　cowardly！〃

〃What　do　you　know　about　such　things？　　What　gives　you　a　right　to
speak？〃　said　lady　Arctura。

Her　pride…strength　was　already　beginning　to　desert　her。

〃I　had　a　Christian　mother；〃　answered　Donal；　〃have　her　yet；　thank
God！who　taught　me　to　love　nothing　but　the　truth；　I　have　studied
the　Bible　from　my　childhood；　often　whole　days　together；　when　I　was
out　with　the　cattle　or　the　sheep；　and　I　have　tried　to　do　what　the
Lords　tells　me；　from　nearly　the　earliest　time　I　can　remember。
Therefore　I　am　able　to　set　to　my　seal　that　God　is　truethat　he　is
light；　and　there　is　no　darkness　of　unfairness　or　selfishness　in　him。
I　love　God　with　my　whole　heart　and　soul；　my　lady。〃

Arctura　tried　to　say　she　too　loved　him　so；　but　her　conscience
interfered；　and　she　could　not。

〃I　don't　say　you　don't　love　him；〃　Donal　went　on；　〃but　how　you　can
love　him　and　believe　such　things　of　him；　I　don't　understand。
Whoever　taught　them　first　was　a　terrible　liar　against　God；　who　is
lovelier　than　all　the　imaginations　of　all　his　creatures　can　think。〃

Lady　Arctura　swept　from　the　roomthough　she　was　trembling　from　head
to　foot。　　At　the　door　she　turned　and　called　Davie。　　The　boy　looked
up　in　his　tutor's　face；　mutely　asking　if　he　should　obey　her。

〃Go；〃　said　Donal。

In　less　than　a　minute　he　came　back；　his　eyes　full　of　tears。

〃Arkie　says　she　is　going　to　tell　papa。　　Is　it　true；　Mr。　Grant；　that
you　are　a　dangerous　man？　　I　do　not　believe　itthough　you　do　carry
such　a　big　knife。〃

Donal　laughed。

〃It　is　my　grandfather's　skean　dhu；〃　he　said：　〃I　mend　my　pens　with
it；　you　know！　　But　it　is　strange；　Davie；　that；　when　a　body　knows
something　other　people　don't；　they　should　be　angry　with　him！　　They
will　even　think　he　wants　to　make　them　bad　when　he　wants　to　help　them
to　be　good！〃

〃But　Arkie　is　good；　Mr。　Grant！〃

〃I　am　sure　she　is。　　But　she　does　not　know　so　much　about　God　as　I　do；
or　she　would　never　say　such　things　of　him：　we　must　talk　about　him
more　after　this！〃

〃No；　no；　please；　Mr。　Grant！　　We　won't　say　a　word　about　him；　for
Arkie　says　except　you　promise　never　to　speak　of　God；　she　will　tell
papa；　and　he　will　send　you　away。〃

〃Davie；〃　said　Donal　with　solemnity；　〃I　would　not　give　such　a　promise
for　the　castle　and　all　it　containsno；　not　to　save　your　life　and
the　life　of　everybody　in　it！　　For　Jesus　says；　'Whosoever　denieth　me
before　men；　him　will　I　deny　before　my　father　in　heaven；'　and　rather
than　that；　I　would　jump　from　the　top　of　the　castle。　　Why；　Davie！
would　a　man　deny　his　own　father　or　mother？〃

〃I　don't　know