the diary of an old soul(一颗衰老灵魂的日记)-第9节
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with me。
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The Diary of an Old Soul
JULY。
1。
ALAS； my tent！ see through it a whirlwind sweep！ Moaning； poor
Fancy's doves are swept away。 I sit alone； a sorrow half asleep； My
consciousness the blackness all astir。 No pilgrim I； a homeless wanderer
For how canst Thou be in the darkness deep； Who dwellest only in the
living day？
2。
It must be； somewhere in my fluttering tent； Strange creatures； half
tamed only yet； are pent Dragons； lop…winged birds； and large…eyed
snakes！ Hark！ through the storm the saddest howling breaks！ Or are they
loose； roaming about the bent； The darkness dire deepening with moan
and scream？ My Morning； rise； and all shall be a dream。
3。
Not thine； my Lord； the darkness all is mine Save that； as mine； my
darkness too is thine： All things are thine to save or to destroy Destroy
my darkness； rise my perfect joy； Love primal； the live coal of every night；
Flame out； scare the ill things with radiant fright； And fill my tent with
laughing morn's delight。
4。
Master； thou workest with such common things Low souls； weak
hearts； I meanand hast to use； Therefore； such common means and
rescuings； That hard we find it； as we sit and muse； To think thou workest
in us verily： Bad sea…boats we； and manned with wretched crews That
doubt the captain； watch the storm…spray flee。
5。
Thou art hampered in thy natural working then When beings designed
on freedom's holy plan Will not be free： with thy poor； foolish men； Thou
therefore hast to work just like a man。 But when； tangling thyself in their
sore need； Thou hast to freedom fashioned them indeed； Then wilt thou
grandly move； and Godlike speed。
6。
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Will this not then show grandest fact of all In thy creation victory
most renowned That thou hast wrought thy will by slow and small； And
made men like thee； though thy making bound By that which they were
not； and could not be Until thou mad'st them make along with thee？
Master； the tardiness is but in me。
7。
Hence come thy checksbecause I still would run My head into the
sand； nor flutter aloft Towards thy home； with thy wind under me。 'Tis
because I am mean； thy ways so oft Look mean to me； my rise is low
begun； But scarce thy will doth grasp me； ere I see； For my arrest and rise；
its stern necessity。
8。
Like clogs upon the pinions of thy plan We hanglike captives on thy
chariot…wheels； Who should climb up and ride with Death's conqueror；
Therefore thy train along the world's highway steals So slow to the peace
of heart…reluctant man。 What shall we do to spread the wing and soar； Nor
straiten thy deliverance any more？
9。
The sole way to put flight into the wing； To preen its feathers； and to
make them grow； Is to heed humbly every smallest thing With which the
Christ in us has aught to do。 So will the Christ from child to manhood go；
Obedient to the father Christ； and so Sweet holy change will turn all our
old things to new。
10。
Creation thou dost work by faint degrees； By shade and shadow from
unseen beginning； Far； far apart； in unthought mysteries Of thy own dark；
unfathomable seas； Thou will'st thy will； and thence； upon the earth
Slow travelling； his way through centuries winning A child at length
arrives at never ending birth。
11。
Well mayst thou then work on indocile hearts By small successes；
disappointments small； By nature； weather； failure； or sore fall； By shame；
anxiety； bitterness； and smarts； By loneliness； by weary loss of zest： The
rags； the husks； the swine； the hunger…quest； Drive home the wanderer to
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The Diary of an Old Soul
the father's breast。
12。
How suddenly some rapid turn of thought May throw the life…machine
all out of gear； Clouding the windows with the steam of doubt； Filling the
eyes with dust； with noise the ear！ Who knows not then where dwells the
engineer； Rushes aghast into the pathless night； And wanders in a land of
dreary fright。
13。
Amazed at sightless whirring of their wheels； Confounded with the
recklessness and strife； Distract with fears of what may next ensue； Some
break rude exit from the house of life； And plunge into a silence out of
view Whence not a cry； no wafture once reveals What door they have
broke open with the knife。
14。
Help me； my Father； in whatever dismay； Whatever terror in whatever
shape； To hold the faster by thy garment's hem； When my heart sinks； oh；
lift it up； I pray； Thy child should never fear though hell should gape； Not
blench though all the ills that men affray Stood round him like the Roman
round Jerusalem。
15。
Too eager I must not be to understand。 How should the work the
master goes about Fit the vague sketch my compasses have planned？ I am
his housefor him to go in and out。 He builds me nowand if I cannot see
At any time what he is doing with me； 'Tis that he makes the house for me
too grand。
16。
The house is not for meit is for him。 His royal thoughts require many
a stair； Many a tower； many an outlook fair； Of which I have no thought；
and need no care。 Where I am most perplexed； it may be there Thou mak'st
a secret chamber； holy…dim； Where thou wilt come to help my deepest
prayer。
17。
I cannot tell why this day I am ill； But I am well because it is thy will
Which is to make me pure and right like thee。 Not yet I need escape'tis
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bearable Because thou knowest。 And when harder things Shall rise and
gather； and overshadow me； I shall have comfort in thy strengthenings。
18。
How do I live when thou art far away？ When I am sunk； and lost；
and dead in sleep； Or in some dream with no sense in its play？ When
weary…dull； or drowned in study deep？ O Lord； I live so utterly on thee； I
live when I forget thee utterly Not that thou thinkest of； but thinkest me。
19。
Thou far！that word the holy truth doth blur。 Doth the great ocean
from the small fish run When it sleeps fast in its low weedy bower？ Is the
sun far from any smallest flower； That lives by his dear presence every
hour？ Are they not one in oneness without stir The flower the flower
because the sun the sun？
20。
〃Dear presence every hour〃！what of the night； When crumpled
daisies shut gold sadness in； And some do hang the head for lack of light；
Sick almost unto death with absence…blight？ Thy memory then； warm…
lingering in the ground； Mourned dewy in the air； keeps their hearts sound；
Till fresh with day their lapsed life begin。
21。
All things are shadows of the shining true： Sun； sea； and airclose；
potent； hurtless fire Flowers from their mother's prisondove； and dew
Every thing holds a slender guiding clue Back to the mighty oneness：
hearts of faith Know thee than light； than heat； endlessly nigher； Our life's
life； carpenter of Nazareth。
22。
Sometimes； perhaps； the spiritual blood runs slow； And soft along the
veins of will doth flow； Seeking God's arteries from which it came。 Or
does the etherial； creative flame Turn back upon itself； and latent grow？
It matters not what figure or what name； If thou art in me； and I am not to
blame。
23。
In such God…silence； the soul's nest； so long As all is still； no flutter
and no song； Is safe。 But if my soul begin to act Without some waking to
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the eternal fact That my dear life is hid with Christ in God
