the diary of an old soul(一颗衰老灵魂的日记)-第4节
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will not search forI will weave。 Who makes the mill…wheel backward
strike to grind！
8。
Be with me； Lord。 Keep me beyond all prayers： For more than all my
prayers my need of thee； And thou beyond all need； all unknown cares；
What the heart's dear imagination dares； Thou dost transcend in
measureless majesty All prayers in onemy God； be unto me Thy own
eternal self； absolutely。
9。
Where should the unknown treasures of the truth Lie； but there whence
the truth comes out the most In the Son of man； folded in love and ruth？
Fair shore we see； fair ocean； but behind Lie infinite reaches bathing many
a coast The human thought of the eternal mind； Pulsed by a living tide；
blown by a living wind。
10。
Thou； healthful Father； art the Ancient of Days； And Jesus is the
eternal youth of thee。 Our old age is the scorching of the bush By life's
indwelling； incorruptible blaze。 O Life； burn at this feeble shell of me； Till
I the sore singed garment off shall push； Flap out my Psyche wings； and to
thee rush。
11。
But shall I then rush to thee like a dart？ Or lie long hours 鎜 nian yet
betwixt This hunger in me； and the Father's heart？ It shall be good； how
ever； and not ill； Of things and thoughts even now thou art my next； Sole
neighbour； and no space between； thou art And yet art drawing nearer；
nearer still。
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12。
Therefore； my brothers； therefore； sisters dear； However I； troubled or
selfish； fail In tenderness； or grace； or service clear； I every moment draw
to you more near； God in us from our hearts veil after veil Keeps lifting；
till we see with his own sight； And all together run in unity's delight。
13。
I love thee； Lord； for very greed of love Not of the precious streams
that towards me move； But of the indwelling； outgoing； fountain store。
Than mine； oh； many an ignorant heart loves more！ Therefore the more；
with Mary at thy feet； I must sit worshippingthat； in my core； Thy words
may fan to a flame the low primeval heat。
14。
Oh my beloved； gone to heaven from me！ I would be rich in love to
heap you with love； I long to love you； sweet ones； perfectly Like God；
who sees no spanning vault above； No earth below； and feels no circling
air Infinitely； no boundary anywhere。 I am a beast until I love as God
doth love。
15。
Ah； say not； 'tis but perfect self I want But if it were； that self is fit to
live Whose perfectness is still itself to scant； Which never longs to have；
but still to give。 A self I must have； or not be at all： Love； give me a self
self…givingor let me fall To endless darkness back； and free me from
life's thrall。
16。
〃Back；〃 said I！ Whither back？ How to the dark？ 》From no dark came I；
but the depths of light； 》From the sun…heart I came； of love a spark： What
should I do but love with all my might？ To die of love severe and pure and
stark； Were scarcely loss； to lord a loveless height That were a living
death； damnation's positive night。
17。
But love is life。 To die of love is then The only pass to higher life than
this。 All love is death to loving； living men； All deaths are leaps across
clefts to the abyss。 Our life is the broken current； Lord； of thine； Flashing
from morn to morn with conscious shine Then first by willing death self…
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made； then life divine。
18。
I love you； my sweet children； who are gone Into another mansion； but
I know I love you not as I shall love you yet。 I love you； sweet dead
children； there are none In the land to which ye vanished to go； Whose
hearts more truly on your hearts are set Yet should I die of grief to love
you only so。
19。
〃I am but as a beast before thee； Lord。〃 Great poet…king； I thank thee
for the word。 Leave not thy son half…made in beastly guise Less than a
man； with more than human cries An unshaped thing in which thyself
cries out！ Finish me； Father； now I am but a doubt； Oh！ make thy moaning
thing for joy to leap and shout。
20。
Let my soul talk to thee in ordered words； O king of kings； O lord of
only lords！ When I am thinking thee within my heart； 》From the broken
reflex be not far apart。 The troubled water； dim with upstirred soil； Makes
not the image which it yet can spoil： Come nearer； Lord； and smooth the
wrinkled coil。
21。
O Lord； when I do think of my departed； I think of thee who art the
death of parting； Of him who crying Father breathed his last； Then radiant
from the sepulchre upstarted。 Even then； I think； thy hands and feet kept
smarting： With us the bitterness of death is past； But by the feet he still
doth hold us fast。
22。
Therefore our hands thy feet do hold as fast。 We pray not to be spared
the sorest pang； But onlybe thou with us to the last。 Let not our heart be
troubled at the clang Of hammer and nails； nor dread the spear's keen fang；
Nor the ghast sickening that comes of pain； Nor yet the last clutch of the
banished brain。
23。
Lord； pity us： we have no making power； Then give us making will；
adopting thine。 Make； make； and make us； temper； and refine。 Be in us
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patienceneither to start nor cower。 Christ； if thou be not with usnot by
sign； But presence； actual as the wounds that bleed We shall not bear it；
but shall die indeed。
24。
O Christ； have pity on all men when they come Unto the border
haunted of dismay； When that they know not draweth very near The
other thing； the opposite of day； Formless and ghastly； sick； and gaping…
dumb； Before which even love doth lose his cheer： O radiant Christ；
remember then thy fear。
25。
Be by me； Lord； this day。 Thou know'st I mean Lord； make me mind
thee。 I herewith forestall My own forgetfulness； when I stoop to glean The
corn of earthwhich yet thy hand lets fall。 Be for me then against myself。
Oh lean Over me then when I invert my cup； Take me； if by the hair； and
lift me up。
26。
Lord of essential life； help me to die。 To will to die is one with highest
life； The mightiest act that to Will's hand doth lie Born of God's essence；
and of man's hard strife： God； give me strength my evil self to kill； And
die into the heaven of thy pure will。 Then shall this body's death be very
tolerable。
27。
As to our mothers came help in our birth Not lost in lifing us； but
saved and blest Self bearing self； although right sorely prest； Shall
nothing lose； but die and be at rest In life eternal； beyond all care and
dearth。 God…born then truly； a man does no more ill； Perfectly loves； and
has whate'er he will。
28。
As our dear animals do suffer less Because their pain spreads neither
right nor left； Lost in oblivion and foresightlessness Our suffering sore
by faith shall be bereft Of all dismay； and every weak excess。 His presence
shall be better in our pain； Than even self…absence to the weaker brain。
29。
〃Father； let this cup pass。〃 He prayedwas heard。 What cup was it that
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passed away from him？ Sure not the death…cup； now filled to the brim！
There was no quailing in the awful word； He still was king of kings； of
lords the lord： He feared lest； in the suffering waste and grim； His faith
might grow too faint and sickly dim。
30。
Thy mind； my master； I will dare explore； What we are told； that we
are meant to know。 Into thy soul I search yet more and more； Led by the
lamp of my desire and woe。 If thee； my Lord； I may not understand； I am a
wanderer in a houseless land； A weeping thirst by hot winds ever fanned。
31。
Therefore I look againand think I see That； when at last he did cry
out； 〃My God； Why hast thou me forsaken？〃 straight man's rod Was turned
aside； for； that same moment； he Cried 〃Father！〃 an
