dona perecta-第36节
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pray eternally without being heard？ I am good； nothing will convince me that I am not good。 To love； to love boundlessly； is that wickedness？ But noit is no illusion； no errorI am worse than the worst woman on earth。 A great serpent is within me； and has fastened his poisonous fangs in my heart。 What is this that I feel？ My God； why dost thou not kill me？ Why dost thou not plunge me forever into the depths of hell？ It is frightful； but I confess it to the priestI hate my mother。 Why is this？ I cannot explain it to myself。 He has not said a word to me against my mother。 I do not know how this is come to pass。 How wicked I am！ The demons have taken possession of me。 Lord； come to my help； for with my own strength alone I cannot vanquish myself。 A terrible impulse urges me to leave this house。 I wish to escape； to fly from it。 If he does not take me； I will drag myself after him through the streets。 What divine joy is this that mingles in my breast with so cruel a grief？ Lord God； my father； illumine me。 I desire only to love。 I was not born for this hatred that is consuming me。 I was not born to deceive； to lie； to cheat。 To…morrow I will go out into the streets and cry aloud to all the passers…by： 'I love！ I hate！' My heart will relieve itself in this way。 What happiness it would be to be able to reconcile every thing； to love and respect every one！ May the Most Holy Virgin protect me。 Again that terrible idea！ I don't wish to think it； and I think it。 Ah！ I cannot deceive myself in regard to this。 I can neither destroy it nor diminish itbut I can confess it； and I confess it； saying to thee： 'Lord； I hate my mother！' 〃
At last she fell into a doze。 In her uneasy sleep her imagination reproduced in her mind all she had done that night； distorting it； without altering it in substance。 She heard again the clock of the cathedral striking nine； she saw with joy the old servant fall into a peaceful sleep； and she left the room very slowly； in order to make no noise； she descended the stairs softly； step by step and on tiptoe； in order to avoid making the slightest sound。 She went into the garden； going around through the servants' quarters and the kitchen； in the garden she paused for a moment to look up at the sky； which was dark and studded with stars。 The wind was hushed。 Not a breath disturbed the profound stillness of the night。 It seemed to maintain a fixed and silent attentionthe attention of eyes that look without winking and ears that listen attentively； awaiting a great event。 The night was watching。
She then approached the glass door of the dining…room and looked cautiously through it； from a little distance； fearing that those within might perceive her。 By the light of the dining…room lamp she saw her mother sitting with her back toward her。 The Penitentiary was on her right； and his profile seemed to undergo a strange transformation； his nose grew larger and larger； seeming like the beak of some fabulous bird； and his whole face became a black silhouette with angles here and there； sharp derisive； irritating。 In front of him sat Caballuco； who resembled a dragon rather than a man。 Rosario could see his green eyes； like two lanterns of convex glass。 This glow； and the imposing figure of the animal； inspired her with fear。 Uncle Licurgo and the other three men appeared to her imagination like grotesque little figures。 She had seen somewhere； doubtless in some of the clay figures at the fairs； that foolish smile； those coarse faces； that stupid look。 The dragon moved his arms which； instead of gesticulating； turned round； like the arms of a windmill； and the green globes； like the lights of a pharmacy； moved from side to side。 His glance was blinding。 The conversation appeared to be interesting。 The Penitentiary was flapping his wings。 He was a presumptuous bird； who tried to fly and could not。 His beak lengthened itself； twisting round and round。 His feathers stood out； as if with rage； and then； collecting himself and becoming pacified； he hid his bald head under his wings。 Then the little clay figures began to move； wishing to be persons； and Frasquito Gonzalez was trying to pass for a man。
Rosario felt an inexplicable terror； witnessing this friendly conference。 She went away from the door and advanced； step by step； looking around her to see if she was observed。 Although she saw no one； she fancied that a million eyes were fastened upon her。 But suddenly her fears and her shame were dispelled。 At the window of the room occupied by Senor Pinzon appeared a man； dressed in blue； the buttons on his coat shone like rows of little lights。 She approached。 At the same instant she felt a pair of arms with galloons lift her up as if she were a feather and with a swift movement place her in the room。 All was changed。 Suddenly a crash was heard； a violent blow that shook the house to its foundations。 Neither knew the cause of the noise。 They trembled and were silent。
It was the moment in which the dragon had broken the table in the dining…room。
CHAPTER XXV
UNFORESEEN EVENTSA PASSING DISAGREEMENT
The scene changes。 We see before us a handsome room； bright； modest； gay； comfortable； and surprisingly clean。 A fine matting covers the floor； and the white walls are covered with good prints of saints and some sculptures of doubtful artistic value。 The old mahogany of the furniture shines with the polish of many Saturday rubbings； and the altar； on which a magnificent Virgin； dressed in blue and silver； receives domestic worship； is covered with innumerable pretty trifles； half sacred； half profane。 There are on it； besides； little pictures in beads； holy…water fonts； a watch…case with an Agnes Dei； a Palm Sunday palm…branch； and not a few odorless artificial flowers。 A number of oaken bookshelves contain a rich and choice library； in which Horace； the Epicurean and Sybarite； stands side by side with the tender Virgil； in whose verses we see the heart of the enamored Dido throbbing and melting； Ovid the large…nosed； as sublime as he is obscene and sycophantic； side by side with Martial； the eloquent and witty vagabond； Tibullus the impassioned； with Cicero the grand； the severe Titus Livius with the terrible Tacitus； the scourge of the Caesars； Lucretius the pantheist； Juvenal； who flayed with his pen； Plautus； who composed the best comedies of antiquity while turning a mill…wheel； Seneca the philosopher； of whom it is said that the noblest act of his life was his death； Quintilian the rhetorician； the immoral Sallust； who speaks so eloquently of virtue； the two Plinys； Suetonius and Varroin a word； all the Latin letters from the time when they stammered their first word with Livius Andronicus until they exhaled their last sigh with Rutilius。
But while making this unnecessary though rapid enumeration； we have not observed that two women have entered the room。 It is very early； but the Orbajosans are early risers。 The birds are singing to burst their throats in their cages； the church…bells are ringing for mass； and the goats； going from house to house to be milked； are tinkling their bells gayly。
The two ladies whom we see in the room that we have described have just come back from hearing mass。 They are dressed in black； and each of them carries in her right hand her little prayer…book； and the rosary twined around her fingers。
〃Your uncle cannot delay long now；〃 said one of them。 〃We left him beginning mass； but he gets through quickly； and by this time he will be in the sacristy； taking off his chasuble。 I would have stayed to hear him say mass； but to…day is a very busy day for me。〃
〃I heard only the prebendary's mass to…day；〃 said the other； 〃and he says mass in a twinkling； and I don't think it has done me any good； for I was greatly preoccupied。 I could not get the thought of the terrible things that are happening to us out of my head。〃
〃What is to be done？ We must only have patience。 Let us see what advice your uncle will give us。〃
〃Ah！〃 exclaimed the other； heaving a deep and pathetic sigh； 〃I feel my blood on fire。〃
〃God will protect us。〃
〃To think that a person like you should be threatened by a And he persists in his designs！ Last night Senora Dona Perfecta； I went back to the widow De Cuzco's hotel； as you told me； and asked her for later news。 Don Pepito and the brigadier Batalla are always consulting togetherah； my God！ consulting about their infernal plans； and emptying bottle after bottle of wine。 They are a pair of rakes； a pair of drunkards。 No doubt they are plotting some fine piece of villany together。 As I take such an interest in you； last night； seeing Don Pepito having the hotel while I was there； I followed him〃
〃And where did you go？〃
〃To the Casino； yes； senora； to the Casino；〃 responded the other； with some confusion。 〃Afterward he went back to his hotel。 And how my uncle scolded me because I remained out so late； playing the spy in that way！ But I can't help it； and to see a person like you threatened by such dangers makes me wild。 For there is no use in talking； I foresee that the day we least expect it those villains will attack the house and carry off Rosarito。〃
Dona Perfecta； for she it was； bending her eyes on the floor； remained for a long time wrapped i
