the black robe-第62节
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circus…rider。 He got into some other scrape； after that； which he
has contrived to keep a secret from us。 We only know how
disgraceful it must have been by the resultshe was a voluntary
exile from England for more than a year。 And now； to complete the
list； he has mixed himself up in that miserable and revolting
business of Lewis Romayne and his wife。〃
If any other person had spoken of me in this manner； I should
have set him down as a mischievous idiotto be kicked perhaps；
but not to be noticed in any other way。
With you； the case is different。 If I die without male offspring；
the Beaupark estate goes to you； as next heir。
I don't choose to let a man in this position slander me； and
those dear to me； without promptly contradicting him。 The name I
bear is precious to me； in memory of my father。 Your unanswered
allusion to my relations with 〃Lewis Romayne and his wife；〃
coming from a member of the family； will be received as truth。
Rather than let this be； I reveal to you； without reserve； some
of the saddest passages of my life。 I have nothing to be ashamed
ofand； if I have hitherto kept certain events in the dark； it
has been for the sake of others； not for my own sake。 I know
better now。 A woman's reputationif she is a good womanis not
easily compromised by telling the truth。 The person of whom I am
thinking； when I write this； knows what I am going to doand
approves of it。
You will receive； with these lines； the most perfectly candid
statement that I can furnish； being extracts cut out of my own
private Diary。 They are accompanied （where plain necessity seems
to call for it） by the written evidence of other persons。
There has never been much sympathy between us。 But you have been
brought up like a gentlemanand； when you have read my
narrative； I expect that you will do justice to me； and to
otherseven though you think we acted indiscreetly under trying
and critical circumstances。
B。 W。
II。
WINTERFIELD MAKES EXTRACTS。
First Extract。
April 11th； 1869。Mrs。 Eyrecourt and her daughter have left
Beaupark to…day for London。 Have I really made any impression on
the heart of the beautiful Stella？ In my miserable
positionignorant whether I am free or notI have shrunk from
formally acknowledging that I love her。
12th。I am becoming superstitious！ In the Obituary of to…day's
_Times_ the death is recorded of that unhappy woman whom I was
mad enough to marry。 After hearing nothing of her for seven
yearsI am free！ Surely this is a good omen？ Shall I follow the
Eyrecourts to London； and declare myself？ I have not confidence
enough in my own power of attraction to run the risk。 Better to
write first； in strictest confidence； to Mrs。 Eyrecourt。
14th。An enchanting answer from my angel's mother； written in
great haste。 They are on the point of leaving for Paris。 Stella
is restless and dissatisfied； she wants change of scene； and Mrs。
Eyrecourt adds； in so many words〃It is you who have upset her；
why did you not speak while we were at Beaupark？〃 I am to hear
again from Paris。 Good old Father Newbliss said all along that
she was fond of me； and wondered； like Mrs。 Eyrecourt； why I
failed to declare myself。 How could I tell them of the hideous
fetters which bound me in tho se days？
18th； Paris。She has accepted me！ Words are useless to express
my happiness。
19th。A letter from my lawyer； full of professional subtleties
and delays。 I have no patience to enumerate them。 We move to
Belgium to…morrow。 Not on our way back to EnglandStella is so
little desirous of leaving the Continent that we are likely to be
married abroad。 But she is weary of the perpetual gayety and
glitter of Paris； and wants to see the old Belgian cities。 Her
mother leaves Paris with regret。 The liveliest woman of her age
that I ever met with。
Brussels； May 7。My blessing on the old Belgian cities。 Mrs。
Eyrecourt is so eager to get away from them that she backs me in
hurrying the marriage； and even consents； sorely against the
grain； to let the wedding be celebrated at Brussels in a private
and unpretending way。 She has only stipulated that Lord and Lady
Loring （old friends） shall be present。 They are to arrive
tomorrow； and two days afterward we are to be married。
。 。 。 。 。 。 。
。
（An inclosure is inserted in this place。 It consists of the
death…bed confession of Mr。 Winterfield's wife； and of the
explanatory letter written by the rector of Belhaven。 The
circumstances related in these documents； already known to the
reader； are left to speak for themselves； and the Extracts from
the Diary are then continued。）
。 。 。 。 。 。 。
。
Bingen； on the Rhine； May 19。Letters from Devonshire at last；
which relieve my wretchedness in some small degree。 The frightful
misfortune at Brussels will at least be kept secret； so far as I
am concerned。 Beaupark House is shut up； and the servants are
dismissed； 〃in consequence of my residence abroad。〃 To Father
Newbliss I have privately written。 Not daring to tell him the
truth； I leave him to infer that my marriage engagement has been
broken off； he writes back a kind and comforting letter。 Time
will； I suppose； help me to bear my sad lot。 Perhaps a day may
come when Stella and her friends will know how cruelly they have
wronged me。
London； November 18；1860。The old wound has been opened again。 I
met her accidentally in a picture gallery。 She turned deadly
pale； and left the place。 Oh； Stella！ Stella！
London； August 12； 1861。Another meeting with her。 And another
shock to endure； which I might not have suffered if I had been a
reader of the marriage announcements in the newspapers。 Like
other men； I am in the habit of leaving the marriage
announcements to the women。
I went to visit an agreeable new acquaintance； Mr。 Romayne。 His
wife drove up to the house while I was looking out of window。 I
recognized Stella！ After two years； she has made use of the
freedom which the law has given to her。 I must not complain of
that； or of her treating me like a stranger； when her husband
innocently introduced us。 But when are were afterward left
together for a few minutesno！ I cannot write down the merciless
words she said to me。 Why am I fool enough to be as fond of her
as ever？
Beaupark； November 16。Stella's married life is not likely to be
a happy one。 To…day's newspaper announces the conversion of her
husband to the Roman Catholic Faith。 I can honestly say I am
sorry for her； knowing how she has suffered； among her own
relatives； by these conversions。 But I so hate him； that this
proof of his weakness is a downright consolation to me。
Beaupark； January 27； 1862。A letter from Stella； so startling
and deplorable that I cannot remain away from her after reading
it。 Her husband has deliberately deserted her。 He has gone to
Rome； to serve his term of probation for the priesthood。 I travel
to London by to…day's train。
London； January 27。Short as it is； I looked at Stella's letter
again and again on the journey。 The tone of the closing sentences
is still studiously cold。 After informing me that she is staying
with her mother in London； she concludes her letter in these
terms：
〃Be under no fear that the burden of my troubles will be laid on
your shoulders。 Since the fatal day when we met at Ten Acres； you
have shown forbearance and compassion toward me。 I don't stop to
inquire if you are sincereit rests with you to prove that。 But
I have some questions to ask； which no person but you can answer。
For the rest； my friendless position will perhaps plead with you
not to misunderstand me。 May I write again？〃
Inveterate distrust in every sentence！ If any other woman had
treated me in this way； I should have put her letter into the
fire； and should not have stirred from my comfortable house。
January 29。A day missed out of my Diary。 The events of
yesterday unnerved me for the time。
Arriving at Derwent's Hotel on the evening of the 27th； I sent a
line to Stella by messenger； to ask when she could receive me。
It is strange how the mere
