the black robe-第47节

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reconciled　herself　to　an　action　which　she　would　have　despised　if



she　had　heard　of　it　as　the　action　of　another　woman。







It　was　a　beauti　ful　autumn　day；　brightened　by　clear　sunshine；



enlivened　by　crisp　air。　Stella　put　on　her　hat　and　went　out　for　a



stroll　in　the　grounds。







While　she　was　within　view　from　the　windows　of　the　servants'



offices　she　walked　away　from　the　house。　Turning　the　corner　of　a



shrubbery；　she　entered　a　winding　path；　on　the　other　side；　which



led　back　to　the　lawn　under　Romayne's　study　window。　Garden　chairs



were　placed　here　and　there。　She　took　one　of　them；　and　seated



herselfafter　a　last　moment　of　honorable　hesitationwhere　she



could　hear　the　men's　voices　through　the　open　window　above　her。







Penrose　was　speaking　at　the　time。







〃Yes。　Father　Benwell　has　granted　me　a　holiday；〃　he　said；　〃but　I



don't　come　here　to　be　an　idle　man。　You　must　allow　me　to　employ　my



term　of　leave　in　the　pleasantest　of　all　ways。　I　mean　to　be　your



secretary　again。〃







Romayne　sighed。　〃Ah；　if　you　knew　how　I　have　missed　you！〃







（Stella　waited；　in　breathless　expectation；　for　what　Penrose　would



say　to　this。　Would　he　speak　of　_her？_　No。　There　was　a　natural



tact　and　delicacy　in　him　which　waited　for　the　husband　to



introduce　the　subject。）







Penrose　only　said；　〃How　is　the　great　work　getting　on？〃







The　answer　was　sternly　spoken　in　one　word〃Badly！〃







〃I　am　surprised　to　hear　that；　Romayne。〃







〃Why？　Were　you　as　innocently　hopeful　as　I　was？　Did　you　expect　my



experience　of　married　life　to　help　me　in　writing　my　book？〃







Penrose　replied　after　a　pause；　speaking　a　little　sadly。　〃I



expected　your　married　life　to　encourage　you　in　all　your　highest



aspirations；〃　he　said。







（Stella　turned　pale　with　suppressed　anger。　He　had　spoken　with



perfect　sincerity。　The　unhappy　woman　believed　that　he　lied；　for



the　express　purpose　of　rousing　irritation　against　her；　in　her



husband's　irritable　mind。　She　listened　anxiously　for　Romayne's



answer。）







He　made　no　answer。　Penrose　changed　the　subject。　〃You　are　not



looking　very　well；〃　he　gently　resumed。　〃I　am　afraid　your　health



has　interfered　with　your　work。　Have　you　had　any　return？〃







It　was　still　one　of　the　characteristics　of　Romayne's　nervous



irritability　that　he　disliked　to　hear　the　terrible　delusion　of



the　Voice　referred　to　in　words。　〃Yes；〃　he　interposed　bitterly；　〃I



have　heard　it　again　and　again。　My　right　hand　is　as　red　as　ever；



Penrose；　with　the　blood　of　a　fellow…creature。　Another　destruction



of　my　illusions　when　I　married！〃







〃Romayne！　I　don't　like　to　hear　you　speak　of　your　marriage　in　that



way。〃







〃Oh；　very　well。　Let　us　go　back　to　my　book。　Perhaps　I　shall　get　on



better　with　it　now　you　are　here　to　help　me。　My　ambition　to　make　a



name　in　the　world　has　never　taken　so　strong　a　hold　on　me　（I　don't



know　why；　unless　other　disappointments　have　had　something　to　do



with　it）　as　at　this　time；　when　I　find　I　can't　give　my　mind　to　my



work。　We　will　make　a　last　effort　together；　my　friend！　If　it



fails；　we　will　put　my　manuscripts　into　the　fire；　and　I　will　try



some　other　career。　Politics　are　open　to　me。　Through　politics；　I



might　make　my　mark　in　diplomacy。　There　is　something　in　directing



the　destinies　of　nations　wonderfully　attractive　to　me　in　my



present　state　of　feeling。　I　hate　the　idea　of　being　indebted　for



my　position　in　the　world；　like　the　veriest　fool　living；　to　the



accidents　of　birth　and　fortune。　Are　_you_　content　with　the



obscure　life　that　you　lead？　Did　you　not　envy　that　priest　（he　is



no　older　than　I　am）　who　was　sent　the　other　day　as　the　Pope's



ambassador　to　Portugal？〃







Penrose　spoke　out　at　last　without　hesitation。　〃You　are　in　a



thoroughly　unwholesome　state　of　mind；〃　he　said。







Romayne　laughed　recklessly。　〃When　was　I　ever　in　a　healthy　state



of　mind？〃　he　asked。







Penrose　passed　the　interruption　over　without　notice。　〃If　I　am　to



do　you　any　good；〃　he　resumed；　〃I　must　know　what　is　really　the



matter　with　you。　The　very　last　question　that　I　ought　to　put；　and



that　I　wish　to　put；　is　the　question　which　you　force　me　to　ask。〃







〃What　is　it？〃







〃When　you　speak　of　your　married　life；〃　said　Penrose；　〃your　tone



is　the　tone　of　a　disappointed　man。　Have　you　any　serious　reason　to



complain　of　Mrs。　Romayne？〃







（Stella　rose　to　her　feet；　in　her　eagerness　to　hear　what　her



husband's　answer　would　be。）







〃Serious　reason？〃　Romayne　repeated。　〃How　can　such　an　idea　have



entered　your　head？　I　only　complain　of　irritating　trifles　now　and



then。　Even　the　best　of　women　is　not　perfect。　It's　hard　to　expect



it　from　any　of　them。〃







（The　interpretation　of　this　reply　depended　entirely　on　the　tone



in　which　it　was　spoken。　What　was　the　animating　spirit　in　this



case？　Irony　or　Indulgence？　Stella　was　ignorant　of　the　indirect



methods　of　irritation；　by　means　of　which　Father　Benwell　had



encouraged　Romayne's　doubts　of　his　wife's　motive　for　the



reception　of　Winterfield。　Her　husband's　tone；　expressing　this



state　of　mind；　was　new　to　her。　She　sat　down　again；　divided



between　hope　and　fear；　waiting　to　hear　more。　The　next　words；



spoken　by　Penrose；　astounded　her。　The　priest；　the　Jesuit；　the



wily　spiritual　intruder　between　man　and　wife；　actually　took　the



wife's　side！）







〃Romayne；〃　he　proceeded　quietly；　〃I　want　you　to　be　happy。〃







〃How　am　I　to　be　happy？〃







〃I　will　try　and　tell　you。　I　believe　your　wife　to　be　a　good　woman。



I　believe　she　loves　you。　There　is　something　in　her　face　that



speaks　for　hereven　to　an　inexperienced　person　like　myself。



Don't　be　impatient　with　her！　Put　away　from　you　that　besetting



temptation　to　speak　in　ironyit　is　so　easy　to　take　that　tone；



and　sometimes　so　cruel。　I　am　only　a　looker…on；　I　know。　Domestic



happiness　can　never　be　the　happiness　of　_my_　life。　But　I　have



observed　my　fellow…creatures　of　all　degreesand　this；　I　tell



you；　is　the　result。　The　largest　number　of　happy　men　are　the



husbands　and　fathers。　Yes；　I　admit　that　they　have　terrible



anxietiesbut　they　are　fortified　by　unfailing　compensations　and



encouragements。　Only　the　other　day　I　met　with　a　man　who　had



suffered　the　loss　of　fortune　and；　worse　still；　the　loss　of



health。　He　endured　those　afflictions　so　calmly　that　he　surprised



me。　'What　is　the　secret　of　your　philosophy？'　I　asked。　He



answered；　'I　can　bear　anything　while　I　have　my　wife　and　my



children。'　Think　of　that；　and　judge　for　yourself　how　much



happiness　you　may　have　left　yet　ungathered　in　your　married　life。〃







（Those　words　touched　Stella's　higher　nature；　as　the　dew　touches



the　thirsty　ground。　Surely　they　were　nobly　spoken！　How　would　her



husband　receive　them？）







〃I　must　think　with　your　mind；　Penrose；　before　I　can　do　what　you



ask　of　me。　Is　there　any　method　of　transformation　by　which　I　can



change　natures　with　you？〃　That　was　all　he　saidand　he　said　it



despondingly。







Penrose　understood；　and　felt　for　him。







〃If　there　is　anything　in　my　nature；　worthy　to　be　set　as　an



example　to　you；〃　he　replied；　〃you　know　to　what　blessed　influence



I　owe　self…discipline　and　serenity　of　mind。　Remember　what　I　said



when　I　left　you　in　London；　to　go　back　to　my　friendless　life。　I



told　you　that　I　found；　in　the　Faith　I　held；　the　one　sufficient



consolation　which　helped　me　to　bear　my　lot。　Andif　there　came　a



time　of　sorrow　in　the　futureI　entreated　you　to　remember　what　I



had　said。　Have　you　remembered　it？〃







〃Look　at　the　book　here　on　my　desklook　at　the　other　books；



within　easy　reach；　on　that　tableare　you　satisfied？〃







〃More　than　satisfied。　Tell　medo　you　feel　nearer　to　an



understanding　of　the　Faith　to　which　I　have　tried　to　convert　you？〃







There　was　a　pause。　〃Say　that　I　do　feel　nearer；〃　Romayne



resumed〃say　that　some　of　my　objections　are　removedare　you



really　as　eager　as　ever　to　make　a　Catholic　of　me；　now　that　I　am　a



married　man？〃







〃I　am　even　more　eager；〃　Penrose　answered。　〃I　have　always　believed



that　your　one　sure　way　to　happiness　lay　through　your　conversion。



Now；　when　I　know；　from　what　I　have　seen　and　heard　in　this　room；



that　you　are　not　reconciled；　as　you　should　be；　to　your　new　life；



I　am　doubly　confined　in　my　belief。　As　God　is　my　witness；　I　speak



sincerely。　Hesitate　no　longer！　Be　converted；　and　be　happy。〃







〃Have　you　not　forgotten　something；　Penrose？〃







〃What　have　I　forgotten？〃







〃A　serious　consideration；　perhaps。　I　have　a　Protestant