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第6节

the master of mrs. chilvers-第6节

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the 〃George。〃  〃Wot do you wimmen want worrying yourselves about
things outside the 'ome?〃 'e says to me。  〃You've got the
children;〃 'e says。  〃Oh;〃 I says; 〃and whose fault's that; I'd
like to know?  You wait till we've got the vote;〃 I says; 〃we'll
soon show you〃

'SIGSBY enters。  SIGSBY is a dapper little man; very brisk and
bustlinghirsutelooks as if he wanted dusting; cleaning up
generally。'

SIGSBY  That young blackguard come back yet?

GINGER  'At sound of SIGSBY'S voice she springs up。  At first is
about to offer excuses for being found seated; but recollects
herself。'

MRS。 CHINN  Which one; sir?

SIGSBY  Young Jawboneswhat's he call himself?Gordon。

MRS。 CHINN  Not yet; sir。

SIGSBY  'Grunts。'  My chop ready?

MRS。 CHINN  I expect it's about done。  I'll see。

'She goes out。'

SIGSBY  'He turns to GINGER。'  What can _I_ do for you?

GINGER  'She produces a letter。'  I was to wait for an answer。

SIGSBY  'He opens and reads it。'  What do they expect me to do?

GINGER  'Er ladyship thought as perhaps you would consult Mr。
Chilvers 'imself on the subject。

SIGSBY  Look here。  What I want to know is this:  am I being asked
to regard Lady Mogton as my opponent's election agent; or as my
principal's mother…in…law?  That point's got to be settled。  'His
vehemence deepens。'  Look at all these posters。  Not to be used;
for fear the other side mayn't like them。  Now Lady Mogton writes
me that my candidate's supporters are not to employ a certain
argument she disapproves of:  because; if they do; she'll tell his
wife。  Is this an election; or is it a family jar?

'JAWBONES enters。  JAWBONESotherwise WILLIAM GORDONis a clean…
shaven young hooligan。  He wears a bicycle cap on the back of his
head; allowing a picturesque tuft of hair to fall over his
forehead。  Evidently he is suffering from controlled indignation。'

SIGSBY  'Seeing him。'  Oh; so you've come back; have you?

JAWBONES  I 'ave; wot's left of me。

SIGSBY  What have you been doing?

JAWBONES  Clinging to a roof for the last three hours。

SIGSBY  Clinging to a roof!  What for?

JAWBONES  'He boils over。'  Wot for?  'Cos I didn't want to fall
off!  Wot do you think:  'cos I was fond of it?

SIGSBY  I don't understand …

JAWBONES  You find yourself 'alf way up a ladder; posting bills as
the other side 'as took objection towith a crowd of girls from
Pink's jam factory waiting for you at the bottom with a barrel of
treacle; and you WILL understand。  Nothing else for me to do; o'
course; but to go up。  Then they took the ladder away。

SIGSBY  Where are the bills?

JAWBONES  Last I see of them was their being put into a 'earse on
its way to Ilford Cemetery。

SIGSBY  This has got to be seen into。  This sort of thing can't be
allowed to go on。  'He snatches up his hat。'

JAWBONES  There's another suggestion I'd like to make。

SIGSBY  'Pauses。'

JAWBONES  That is; if this election is going to be fought fairly;
that our side should be provided with 'at…pins。

SIGSBY  'Grunts。'  Tell Mrs。 Chinn to keep that chop warm。  'He
goes out。'

GINGER  'She begins to giggle。  It grows into a shrill hee…haw。'

JAWBONES  'He looks at her fixedly。'

GINGER  'Her laugh; under the stern eye of JAWBONES; dies away。'

JAWBONES  Ain't no crowd of you 'ere; you know。  Nothing but my
inborn chivalry to prevent my pulling your nose。

GINGER  'Cowed; but simmering。'  Chivalry!  'A shrill snort。'

JAWBONES  Yus。  And don't you put a strain upon it neither。
Because I tell you straight; it's weakening。

GINGER  'His sudden fierceness has completely cowed her。'

JAWBONES  You wimmin …

'There re…enters Mrs。 CHINN with a tray。  He is between them。'

That's old Sigsby's chop?

MRS。 CHINN  Yes。  He hasn't gone out again; has he?

JAWBONES  I'll 'ave it。  Get 'im another。  Guess 'e won't be back
for 'alf an hour。

MRS。 CHINN  He's nasty when his food ain't ready。

JAWBONES  'He takes the tray from her。'  Not your fault。  Tell 'im
I took it from you by brute force。

MRS。 CHINN  'She acquiesces with her usual even absence of all
emotion。'

JAWBONES  You needn't stop。  Miss Rose Merton will do the waiting。

GINGER  'Starts; then begins to collect her etceteras。'

MRS。 CHINN  Perhaps there'll be time to cook him another。

'She goes out。'

JAWBONES  Take off that cover。

GINGER  'She starts on a bolt for the door。'

JAWBONES  'He is quite prepared。  In an instant he is in front of
her。'  No; yer don't。

'A pause。'

Take off that cover。

GINGER  'She still hesitates。'

JAWBONES  If yer don't do what I tell yer; I'll 'ide yer。  I'm in
the mood。

GINGER  'She takes off the cover。'

JAWBONES  'He seats himself and falls to。'  Now pour me out a cup
of tea。

GINGER  'Is pouring it out。'

JAWBONES  Know why yer doing it?

GINGER  'With shrill indignation。'  Yus。  Becos yer got me 'ere
alone; yer beast; with only that cracked image of a Mrs。 Chinn …

JAWBONES  That'll do。

GINGER  'It is sufficient。  She stops。'

JAWBONES  None of your insults agen a lady as I 'olds in 'igh
respect。  The rest of it is all right。  Becos I've got yer 'ere
alone。  You wimmin; you think it's going to pay you to chuck law
and order。  You're out for a fight; are yer?

GINGER  Yus; and we're going to win。  Brute force 'as 'ad its d'y。
It's brains wot are going to rule the world。  And we've got 'em。

'She has become quite oratorical。'

JAWBONES  Glad to 'ear it。  Take my tip:  you'll use 'em。
Meanwhile I'll 'ave another cup o' tea。

GINGER  'She takes the cupis making for the window。'

JAWBONES  'Fierce again。'  I said tea。

GINGER  All right; I was only going to throw the slops out of
window。  There ain't no basin。

JAWBONES  I'll tell yer when I want yer to open the window and call
for the p'lice。  You can throw them into the waste…paper basket。

GINGER  'She obeys。'

JAWBONES  Thank you。  Very much obliged。  One of these d'ys; maybe;
you'll marry。

GINGER  When I do; it will be a man; not a monkey。

JAWBONES  I'm not proposing。  I'm talking to you for your good。

GINGER  'Snorts。'

JAWBONES  You've been listening to a lot of toffs。  Easy enough for
them to talk about wimmen not being domestic drudges。  They keep a
cook to do it。  They don't pity 'e for being a down…trodden slive;
spending sixteen hours a d'y in THEIR kitchen with an evening out
once a week。  When you marry it will be to a bloke like me; a
working man 。 。 。

GINGER  Working!  'She follows it with a shrill laugh。'

JAWBONES  Yus。  There's always a class as laughs when you mention
the word 〃work。〃  Them as knows wot it is; don't。  I've been at it
since six o'clock this morning; carrying a ladder; a can of paste
weighing twenty pounds; and two 'undred double royal posters。  You
try it!  When 'e comes 'ome; 'e'll want 'is victuals。  If you've
got 'em ready for 'im and are looking niceno reason why you
shouldn'tand feeling amiable; you'll get on very well together。
If you are going to argue with 'im about woman's sphere; you'll get
the worst of it。

GINGER  You always was a bully。

JAWBONES  Not always。  Remember last Bank 'oliday?  'He winks。'

GINGER  'She tries not to give in。'

JAWBONES  'Ave a cup of tea。  'He pours it out for her。'

GINGER  'The natural woman steals inshe sits。'

JAWBONES  'Ow are they doing you; fairly well?

GINGER  Oh!  Well; nothing to grumble at。

JAWBONES  You can do a bit o' dressing on it。

GINGER  'She meets his admiring eye。  The suffragette departs。'
Dressing don't cost muchwhen you've got tyste。

JAWBONES  Wot!  Not that 'at?

GINGER  Made it myself。

JAWBONES  No!

GINGER  Honour bright!  Tell yer …

'GEOFFREY and ST。 HERBERT enter。  JAWBONES and GINGER make to rise。
GINGER succeeds。'

GEOFFREY  All right; all right。  Don't let me disturb the party。
Where's Mr。 Sigsby?

JAWBONES  Gone to look up the police; I think; sir。  'Having
finished; he rises。'  Some of those factory girls been up to their
larks again。

GEOFFREY  Umph!  What's it about this time?

JAWBONES  They've took objection to one of our posters。

GEOFFREY  What; another!  'To ST。 HERBERT。'  Woman has disappointed
me as a fighter。  She's willing enough to strike。  If you hit back;
she's surprised and grieved。

ST。 HERBERT  She's come to the game rather late。

GEOFFREY  She might have learned the rules。  'To JAWBONES。'  Which
particular one is it that has failed to meet with their approval?

JAWBONES  It's rather a good one; sir; from our point of view:
〃Why she left her 'appy 'ome。〃

GEOFFREY  I don't seem to remember it。  Have I seen it?

JAWBONES  I don't think you 'ave; sir。  It was Mr。 Sigsby's idea。
On the left; the ruined 'ome; baby crying it's little 'eart out
eldest child lying on the floor; scaldedupset the tea…kettle over
itselfyoungest boy in flamesbeen playing with the matches;
nobody there to stop 'im。  At the open door the father; returning
from work。  Nothing ready for 'im。  On the other side'ER; on a
tub; spouting politics。

GEOFFREY  'To ST。 HERBERT。'  Sounds rather good。

JAWBONES  Wait a minute。  There was a copy somewhere abouta
proof。  'He is searching for it on the deskfinds it。'  Yus; 'ere
'tis。

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